Born in Missouri

Body mass index, or BMI, is currently the most widely used method for assessing whether someone is overweight or underweight. But now scientists think they've come up with a new and improved alternative: relative fat mass index, or RFM. https://www.sciencealert.com/new-accurate-rfm-body-fat-measure-could-end-bmi-body-mass-index https://drbillsukala.com/fat-mass-index/ How useful is body mass index? https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/255712.php?sr=&utm_source=TrendMD&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Medical_News_Today_TrendMD_1

You're been too hard on yourself. You're in pain, and you're giving yourself an undeserved beating. You may very well be addicted to food, but you could also be in mourning. I miss not being able to enjoy food. I can't eat enough of anything to feel as though I'm eating a worthwhile portion. Plus, nothing smells or tastes the same. I feel as though I'm missing out on something that brought me a good measure of pleasure. I've lost weight with very little effort. True, I'm still not getting the protein or fluid intake required. For the first time in weeks, I'm probably consuming more than 250 calories. I'm pretty sure I've doubled my caloric intake, and I try to make sure that those calories are mainly protein. I'm not prepared to swear off all junk food. Fortunately, I don't have a sweet tooth, but I do like plain potato chips. I think it's the salt I'm mainly interested in. I don't think it's terrible to have a few chips on occasion. I actually don't "want" more than a few either. I go through periods of self-hate, too. You're not alone, E.S. If you'd like to talk privately, I'd be happy to talk to you. I'm sure several other people here would be happy to talk to you as well. Let us support you. Let others in and give you some comfort. You are a worthwhile person. I'm glad you posted your feelings. That's a healthy step in the right direction. (Keeping negative feelings to yourself is not healthy.)

OMG. You're as cute as cute can be.

I wish you'd post a photo. Cover your face, is you wish. My hair is thinner, and I've noticed almost a "combover thing" going on, but it's still workable. You're about two months out longer than I am.

Altered neural responsivity to food cues in relation to food preferences, but not appetite-related hormone concentrations after RYGB-surgery https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30041007 Taste, smell and appetite change after Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24610456 Olfactory and Gustatory Function After Bariatric Surgery https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25910980 Reported appetite, taste and smell changes following Roux-en-Y gastric bypass and sleeve gastrectomy: Effect of gender, type 2 diabetes and relationship to post-operative weight loss. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27453553 Taste and Olfactory Changes Following Laparoscopic Gastric Bypass and Sleeve Gastrectomy https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26475030

Well, now I feel foolish. Sorry for subjecting you to my silly admonition about changing your mind while on the way to the OR. I just didn't want to take the chance that your doctor's words might be horribly, horribly true!

@Separ1418 I'm hoping that your surgeon was mostly kidding about allowing you to change your mind up until being wheeled into the operating room. I wouldn't trust myself to be in the same frame of mind once I'm in that high-anxiety environment of a hospital on the day of my surgery. Besides, you may or may not have been given something to relax you, which may affect your judgment. Arrive the day of your surgery knowing what you want and what you'll wake up having had done. This is too important a decision to leave up to a last-minute change. Yes, it sounds like it's a powerful option being able to swap out one procedure for another while taking a wild, breezy ride in neon footies to the OR, but don't do it. Make up your mind beforehand and stick to it. It's that sticktoitiveness that will get you through the days and weeks ahead post-operatively.

Try to maintain a positive outlook. It's normal to feel down, to second-guess yourself, and to think that you (or your surgeon) made a big mistake. You are healing not only physically but mentally. It takes a while to adjust to your new self. Give yourself permission to express some sadness (after all, we gave up a very comforting lifestyle) and for that, we may need to mourn. Alternatively, we are also embarking on a journey... which can be exciting and scary. I'm still scared at times. Superheroes are fictional. As real human beings, we do the best we can. Avoid statements like "Some say..." or anything that has to do with what other people think or do. They are not you. You are you! I know that sounds corny, but when you are able to tune out other people (who may mean well), you will be happier. Again, try to be positive. Respect your own decisions, and try not to be overly influenced by what others think or do.

My surgeon recommended the bypass for me, even though I went in thinking that I was the ideal sleeve candidate. I am confident EVERY DAY that I made the correct decision to go with the bypass. Vitamins aren't a big inconvenience or hardship. Once I understood my deficiency-risks and found the correct forms (ie. calcium citrate instead of calcium carbonate and the best form of iron, sublingual B12) and dosed my supplements according to "semi-established" guidelines, I felt assured that I made the best choice for myself. My goal is to lose weight and maintain that weight loss while also living in a healthy body. A gastric bypass seemed to fit that goal. No one can make your decision for you. You live in your body. Hopefully, you understand what limitations you can handle. An informed decision is ultimately going to steer you in the right direction. Don't skimp on researching your options, and go with your gut instinct. Don't be swayed by what other people have done or plan to do. Typically, people want to convince you to go with what THEY would do or with the procedure they have done, which, in a sense, is validating their own choice. I'm no different. I'd probably try to sell you on a bypass. Don't be fooled by me or anyone else. Have faith in your own decision and feel terrific about your choice!

August 27, 2018: The gastric bypass procedure reduces the size of a patient’s stomach by more than 90 percent. This procedure affects people physically and emotionally, said Alex Brecher, who launched the online community Bariatric Pal (bariatricpal.com) after his own lap band surgery in 2003. The website has message boards, a store that sells a wide variety of products for men and women who have had weight loss surgery, and even helps arrange less expensive surgeries in Tijuana, Mexico, for patients whose insurance won’t cover the procedures. http://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-fea-bolt-bariatric-20180802-story.html# Brecher, who traded in his lap band for bariatric surgery earlier this year, said the dramatic weight loss can also bring about some unexpected emotional issues. “Some people aren’t ready to look in the mirror and see something other than an overweight person,” Brecher said. “They see that different face looking back, and a lot of times they realize they still have to deal with the emotional things that got them to being overweight to begin with. When you lose weight and you’re not able to lean on food for emotional support, it can bring the other stuff to the surface.”

You nailed it with this comment. I like the way you think.

Has anyone noticed that people who preach ad nauseam about this or that, rarely accept the same manner of preaching directed at them? They're good at dishing out one-size-fits-all advice but are often prone to react with hostility if their methods are challenged. Hard-core diet preachers can ruin a good day fast... if you let them. And that's the key. Don't let them get to you. You will be tested by people who want to bring you down; resist. You will be belittled by people with questionable agendas; don't let them get to you. Stay away from negative people. And if you can't stay away from them, figure out a way to tune them out. Be strong. And if you're a woman, be twice as strong. Girl power!

@AshAsh1 Your words continue to be inspiring. Your progress is jaw-dropping. There's an unmistakable glow about you. For someone so young, you have a lot of wisdom. I'm proud of you. And so very, very happy for you. You deserve all that is good and wonderful.

Did you decide on the sleeve or was it recommended to you?

Jess is making an excellent point. There are lurkers here, and many others who rarely, if ever, participate in forums such as this one. We're a bunch of outliers and people who pop in for whatever reason need to understand that.

Talk about feeling unwanted. Too old and too fat. I guess that's that. The donor weight guidelines state that for people joining the registry, the maximum acceptable weight would be a person's weight associated with a body mass index (BMI) of 40*. To see the maximum weight (in pounds) for a given height (in feet and inches), see the chart below. *BMI Formula: weight (lb) / height (in) 2 x 703. Calculate BMI by dividing weight in pounds (lbs) by height in inches (in) squared and multiplying by a conversion factor of 703. Example: Weight = 150 lbs, Height = 5'5" (65") Calculation: [150 ÷ (65) 2 ] x 703 = 24.96 https://bethematch.org/support-the-cause/donate-bone-marrow/join-the-marrow-registry/weight-guidelines-for-joining/ Too old? Pay $100 and you're allowed to join. If you are between the ages of 18 and 44 patients especially need you. Research shows that cells from younger donors lead to more successful transplants. Doctors request donors in the 18-44 age group 85% of the time. At donor registry drives, we focus on adding registry members most likely to donate. If you are between the ages of 45 and 60 and want to join the registry, you're welcome to join online with a $100 tax-deductible payment to cover the cost to join.

I dare you... no, I double-dare you, Frustr8 , to ask your surgeon if he'll be performing the reverse Trendelenburg position on you! Then again, you're probably ornery enough to do it without being dared.

I've had my share of colonoscopies... it's not very pretty to think about. I just remind being asked to roll to one side, which would have ruled out the reverse Trendelenburg position!

This sentence stood out in the study you cited: Under general anaesthesia the patients were placed in the reverse Trendelenburg position with the surgeon standing between the legs.

I find the specific reasons why people chose one procedure over the other interesting. Your reasons were unmistakably well-thought out and geared toward your needs. Not everyone is as sure about what they want or can expect from their choice. Did you believe that the sleeve was your best option from the beginning or did you briefly consider the bypass or any of the other WLS procedures? I was only given the option between the sleeve and bypass. I know there are people who can't have the bypass for medical reasons (Crohn's disease, for example). What I don't understand is the other procedures: duodenal switch, mini bypass, gastric balloon. Are there specific conditions that make these procedures the best choice? (Just curious. Always eager to learn.)

....this was one of the things that steered me toward a sleeve - to preserve as much of my digestive system as possible and still lose enough weight to make me healthier. But with a sleeve, a part of your body is removed permanently. How does that compare with a bypass in which nothing is removed? With a bypass, one's digestive system is rejiggered, nothing is removed. Do surgeon's tell their patients how much stomach they intend to remove? What if they inadvertently remove too of your stomach? How would you even know? It's not likely that they'll mention it.

I have never had signficant GERD issues or I might have considered the bypass. But one can develop GERD (with the sleeve) even without a history of it. I don't think there's any way to predict who will develop GERD and who won't. I didn't want to take that chance.

One egg. Never two.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this other than I need to get it out. By processing your feelings in part (here), you're already helping yourself to grieve in a healthier way. While I can't feel your pain (no one can), I can sense a great deal of strength in your words. And it's that strength and your determination to get through this without food that will help you to become even stronger. You're already stronger than you think. That said, don't walk around with a brave face. Now isn't the time. Strong doesn't mean numbing out or denying your feelings. I've always found crying to be very cleansing. Big girls do cry. By not allowing yourself to head down a destructive path to cope with your loss, you are, in a sense, honoring yourself... and by honoring yourself, you are honoring your brother. And your mother. And your young daughter who must be hurting terribly seeing you in so much pain. Comfort your daughter. Sometimes when we look beyond our own pain, by comforting another, we are able to comfort ourselves, too.

The Veteran's Forum is respected (for WL veterans only), is it not? If that's the case, why are the other "only" forums treated any differently?