BeanieSprouts

Welcome!!! I'm so excited to see you've decided to pursue options in regards to weight loss and surgery! I know how upsetting weight loss (or the lack thereof) can be! I think everyone here can relate to that, that's why we chose surgery!! One of the first things I did was look at all the food I was restricting myself from eating, all the "bad" foods and think about why they were bad for me and why I binged on them anyway. What I came away with was that I was ashamed of wanting them, so I would only eat them when I was alone. It took a serious, moral inventory of myself where I tried to figure out my cravings and WHY I want those things before I even thought about dieting again. This is NOT something that you can quit, this is the first step to the rest of your life! The second thing was I looked at all those "bad" foods and decided they weren't bad, I wasn't bad for wanting them, but that they didn't serve the purpose I was currently using food for. Everyone has binged ice cream when they're sad, expecting yourself to never react like that again is unrealistic. But severing that shame tied to it, that you haven't failed because you ate a slice of pizza at a birthday party, is really what's helped keep me on track. If you need ANYTHING please message me!

Happy Friday!!!! Yesterday was a bit of a bust on the yoga front, I had a psych appointment and got some pretty upsetting news about a friend. So yesterday I wallowed in self-pity and impulse purchased stickers from walmart, target AND cvs to make myself feel better. So, tonight I'm going to yoga before going to see La Llorona tonight with friends. And tomorrow is a concert my chosen brother and I are taking a road trip to Boston to go see. I'm very excited; the last time I saw the band I was at my heaviest weight. One of their songs from the last album says "nothing will change if you never choose", and that's what I wrote on all my pre-op paperwork to motivate myself. So getting to see them again with their new album, with my new lifestyle is super exciting. (it's Mariana's Trench if anyone cares. lol) Yesterday I also hit my protein goals and actually never felt sick once, so that's awesome! Still being gentle with myself, still focusing on softer food since I threw up the other day. Everyone's art looks awesome!

Camping and hiking, for sure!! I also really love bonfires, just ones that don't involve food because the idea of a bear coming to find me isn't fun. I grew up in an area where there were bears like...everywhere. So it's always been an actual concern. lol.

I wasn't on blood thinners either before or after surgery, but I bruise like a hot-house orchid now! lol. I was carrying groceries up the hill to my apartment and my arm looks like I was assaulted by a very large army of polly-pocket sized people. I have bruises the size of golf-balls on my shins from walking into stuff. I'm not very graceful, and it's showing!!

I didn't love the shirtaki noodles, but I am a fan of the veggiemade noodles by steamfresh. Also my younger brother likes them so I can trick him into eating what I make. lol

Avery's Mom is right, they do need to complete all steps before they can submit for approval for the insurance. Most importantly, CONGRATS!!!! Making this choice is hard, and going through all the steps can seem overwhelming and impossible. You can do this! At my meeting with the surgeon they went over the choices again for surgery, talked about how long I would stay in the hospital, and answered any and all questions I had. It's more intimate than the seminar, and any issues you have you can bring up then. For example, I'm VERY allergic to the pain medication normally used by my surgeon so I brought it up then to make sure there was a huge note in my file. (while I was in the hospital they had me wear a HUGE red hand around my arm and neck and I felt like a safety cone. lol) Remember: You GOT THIS!!!

I've had severe depression, anxiety and ADHD for pretty much my whole life. It's fairly well controlled now, but I did notice a drop in mood after surgery. My therapist and psych had a pretty good idea of why, and I didn't need to up any of my medications because of it. We qualify for this surgery for a reason. They do not approve people who have healthy, normal relationships with food for this surgery. And even if they did, the severe restriction and recovery that comes with the surgery is enough to make anyone feel self-conscious, upset and other'd. An entire coping mechanism for stress is gone; food. Take each day at a time. Don't worry that you'll 'be/feel like this forever', don't focus on what you'll feel like tomorrow or the next day. Focus on the here and now. If you're feeling depressed, think. Did you have enough water? Protein? Have you seen the sun, been outside, talked to a human being? If none of that's helped, take a shower, put on fresh clothes, watch silly animal videos. You've mentioned your friend passed recently and I'm so sorry to here that. I think these things can help, even if you weren't having surgery. You can do this, and when you come out the other side all the struggling will be worth it. Your friend would be very proud of you. ❤️

I was looking at pictures I took of myself last year and I couldn't believe how much of a difference there was in my face! I always feel like my face never changed because I have loose skin on my neck and chin, but WOW.

HAPPY MAY Y'ALL!!! I started my goals early yesterday, until I decided that I would try a mango for the first time since surgery and proceeded to...just...throw up. 😵 I have a very picky sleeve (Tiny Tum, like Tiny Tim....get it? My brothers thought it was VERY funny) so that's not unusual, but not exactly the way I wanted to start the 14th month after surgery. lol. Each time I get sick, I go right back to basics. So today it's just protein shakes, jello and MAYBE a yogurt if I feel up to it tomorrow. I try and be gentle on myself because these things happen and the last thing Tiny Tum needs is me shoving 3 oz of chicken down my throat. lol. I also did 15 minutes of yoga, which I got the clear from my physical therapist for just on Friday. I hurt my hip in late March and they said "NO EXERCISE. NO WALKING NO YOGA" So getting back into it, I know I'm not going to be where I was. At least I'm not the 28-year-old doing PT with the old biddies who hurt their hips too, tho. (not that I have anything against old biddies, I self-identify as an old biddy myself. Gimme the housecoats and roller sets.)

I'm joining!!! Current Weight: 224 lbs BMI 37 Surgical Status: 13 months post op Gastric Sleeve Personal Goals: Do at least 15 minutes of yoga on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday each week. Focus on my protein, including lean protein sources and shakes. Find one good thing about each day that is NOT weight related in any way. (example: "Wow I saw so many pretty flowers on my walk" not "Wow I lost so much weight by walking!")

Hello NJ friends! I'm Jacqui and I had my sleeve surgery in March of last year. I'm from Pompton Lakes, but I actually grew up in the West Milford area.

I'm a little over 1 year post op and I've only had one drink, a rum and diet on New Years Eve. It was widely regarded as a very bad move and I actually have just decided to not drink anymore. Alcoholism and addiction runs in my family and I would rather go out with my friends and be the Sober Group Mom than risk that. That said, some bars will give you a wrist band for free soft drinks if you say you're the designated driver and Mama LOOOOVES herself some free unsweetened ice tea.

I completely understand the thought process here. You've gone through major surgery, and have completely changed your eating habits. You want results, and you want them NOW. Bodies are silly, tricky things. Your body doesn't know that you've CHOSEN to have this surgery. All it knows is you fell asleep and some STUFF WENT DOWN. Your body is throwing everything it has into healing, and losing weight is NOT what it's thinking about right now. When I came home from the hospital, I was actually 10 pounds heavier than when I went in. Losing 10 pounds in 3 weeks is normal, healthy, and a great accomplishment! We are not living in a Woman's Day headline where you can lose 25 lbs in 14 days. Be gentle with yourself and trust the process. You WILL lose weight, you CAN do this!!

Hi everyone!! I'm pansexual but also non-binary so I usually just say I'm gay? Identities are confusing sometimes, but anyway! I was sleeved back in March 2018, down 140 lbs from my HW. It's great to meet all of you, with the exception of Venessa who seems like a rude-ass straight person invading a space not meant for her.

Hi everyone! Long time no talk!! I'm doing well overall, although I did have a stall that I had to work through that I think I'm still not over totally. The loss has slowed WAY down, and while I'm noticing new changes every day, I wish it was still happening steadily. I'm 98 down from surgery, and like sideeye I'm like 50 lbs from where I'd like to be.

HI! Just popping in to say that I AM still doing this, but yesterday I had a bad depression day and didn't end up recording anything I ate. I did stick to meat and cheese, tho, which honestly was a life saver. When I get really down I default (or used to) to quick, carb-heavy food that would fill me up quick. Yesterday I focused on eating slow, eating protein, and drinking my water. And remember to take my meds. lol. So, today is a new day and I'm feeling better! I did have coffee this morning, but I used a protein shake as creamer so it's a give and take really? lol. Great job everyone!!!

UPDATE for Day 2 (day 1 for me bc I'm terrible at timing) Um,. this is the worst thing in the world. :c ALL YO GIRL WANTED YESTERDAY WAS A DAMN APPLE. I was walking past while grocery shopping, staring at them the way I used to stare at like the cannoli or something. I also had an appointment with my RD yesterday and told her about it, and she was like "WTF why are you doing this to yourself?" I told her it was all for the sake of experimentation. Before surgery, I was a vegetarian. I feel like I naturally feel more comfortable with a lot of vegetables in my diet, but we shall progress! Protein: 80 g Carbs: 20 g Fat: 18 g 600 calories My RD wasn't very happy with my calorie counts, she said she wants at LEAST 1,000 a day. Which feels impossible to me, I feel like I eat CONSTANTLY. I did "cheat" at the end of the night and eat an Enlightened ice cream bar. But I don't care, and it was good. lol.

Good Morning! I need a bit of a dose of reality from you guys, and I would really appreciate some feedback. I work in an office with a girl who went to the same surgeon I did. We had our surgeries done about 2 months apart, me first and hers second. I know she's still in the honeymoon phase (and maybe I am too, I'm less than a year out), but she eats SO MUCH more than I can and eats SO MUCH that I can't. We talk often about foods we can and can't eat. She recommended eating sweetened condensed milk because it "slides down", talks about how she can polish a whole bottle of wine off on her own nightly and eats fried chicken sliders multiple times a week. She still eats french fries, ice cream, cake, cookies and chips. I'm not looking to change her behavior, I know that's not possible nor is that my problem. My issue is that because she's a lighter weight than I was starting, she's visibly lost more weight than me and people in the office are commenting. If I pass on a piece of cake, they say I shouldn't because "well SHE'S having one!" and while I don't listen, it makes my life harder. Admittedly I'm jealous that she seems to be putting very little effort in and seems to be doing well. I am not undermining my own progress, I've lost 120 pounds so far, and 90 alone from surgery. I have completely overhauled my diet and life. But I am still jealous of her ability to eat whatever and still lose weight. I know in rational Beanie-Brain that she is not set up for success and that makes me sad, but it doesn't change how I feel about this. Someone please tell me that I'm not a loser for refusing all cake and candy in my office and that my emotions are irrational?

I feel like it all gets back to this idea that weight loss surgery is "unnatural" or like "Cheating". My parents asked me the same thing before surgery. Like, "Well you've lost 30 pounds before, why can't you do it without surgery?". I told them how I look at it is this: When I was the lowest point in my depression, I couldn't bring myself to get up and shower, eat, or do much of anything. If I hadn't reached out for help, I'm sure at SOME point I would have made myself get up and shower. Or eat. Generally act like I wasn't depressed. But I needed help, and I made the doctor's appointments to get myself the help I needed. When I reached my highest weight, I realized I couldn't walk around like I normally could, that my back hurt all the time, that I would get shakes for no reason at all. I realized that, yes, I could possibly go on a diet and lose some weight. I could act like I would stick to a diet plan and lose the weight. But I needed help, and I made the doctor's appointments to get myself the help I needed. Both appointments changed my life, but knowing that I was beyond the "quick fixes" everyone always suggests was the turning point for me. I could have gone on Atkin's again. I could have just watched Ghost Adventures and tried not to be depressed. But admitting I needed something beyond what I could physically do was the turning point! the Pre-op diet is hard! You got this!

Okay. Are you all ready for this? (I'm sure you've already come up with this, but WHAT THE HAY) You take your chocolate protein powered, and some luke warm milk. You mix them together until it forms some weird sludge-paste in the bottom of your mug. Yummy. You then finish it with the rest of the warmed milk, and once smooth can be heated in the microwave to your hearts' content without making the protein powder get all ~nasty~. You take your mug of goodness, you GLUG in some of this Skinny Syrup and do far more peppermint extract than seems wise. You now have something kind of like Starbucks' Peppermint Mocha, but way less likely to make you feel sick later. ❤️

Early December 2017: Convince myself that I need surgery, start obsessively watching every youtube video I can find. Fall in love with every single person. Find a surgeon. Mid-December: First consult with my surgeon. Set a tentative date of March 14th, 2018. December 21st 2017: First nutrition class. December 30th, 2017: Normal routine visit with my psychiatrist where I say "Hey I want my stomach removed. Am I stable enough for that?" and he goes "Eh. I don't see why not!" January 5th, 2018: set up the first appointment with a cardiologist. Set up more testing, which I did legit like the next day. Mid-January 2018: set up appointments for my gastro and pulmonologist. Scheduled endoscopy. End of January 2018: Endoscopy and sleep study. February 2018: Sleep study showed I need a CPAP. The ENTIRE MONTH OF FEBRUARY was spent trying to get my insurance and DMS company to SEND ME the damn CPAP. Finally, have my second and final nutrition appointment, and get set up with the pre-op diet. Last day of February: Start of pre-op diet. March 3rd: CPAP is FINALLY delivered. March 13th: Pre-admission testing completed, clear liquid diet started. March 14th: Show time!

Can I do the challenge equivalent of rolling up to class late with Starbucks? (AKA: Can I join in if I start today? lol)

I was 3 weeks out from surgery when Easter came around this year, and I asked this very question to my RD. I knew I was going to be around family, and that I would be on puree at the time. Her answer was to take the FLAVORS I loved and make something healthy with it. So, because Stoffer's Veggie Lasagna was my go-to for Easter I made a soup with vegetables, protein powder and all that. IT WAS SO GOOD. What I'm saying here is, flavor has a huge part to play in how humans interact with tradition. Trying to deny yourself EVERYTHING for the season will make you more likely to binge, which is never good. So work WITH your surgery. Do you love hot cocoa? Warm up a chocolate protein drink. Can't stand missing out on a Christmas ham? Have ham without the glaze, or find a new way to make it. Get peppermint extract to put in sugar free chocolate pudding, then freeze it (or whip it to make mousse.) Above all, know that these flavors will be back again next year when you can indulge a bit more safely than you can right now. Find a way to make the flavors work FOR you, not against you. ❤️

I know!!! It never happened to me, and then all of a sudden I had like three in one day! and I hadn't even REPLIED to their messages. Just "Hi, hello beautiful" and then BAM! A pen!s. LOL!

Thank you all so much, I really appreciate it. Yesterday was an emotional day anyway and I always struggle with compulsions to overeat on those days. It def triggered that in me, and I appreciate everyone's feedback. I am VERY proud of how far I've come, and how I've chosen to face my issues with food head on. I will continue how I've been, make sure I'm trying new healthy foods so I don't get bored, and focus on MY journey. I'm also going to bring this up to my individual therapist tonight when I see her, I feel like it's good to get it out in the open verbally too. You're all such a wealth of support here.