Neri

I'm only halfway through the six months of visits I need before a request can even be sent to insurance, but I decided I wanted to tell my story so far anyway. I'll update here as things go on. I just want to give a bit of a warning, however. For those of you with triggers, there is talk of mental health and suicide. On with the show, I suppose. I've been heavy since I was a little girl. Big boned, yes, but also more than my fair share of baby fat. But at the time, it was nothing too concerning. "It'll disappear when she gets older," people would tell my parents. If only that were true. By the time I was about 12, that baby fat had turned into even more fat. My mom, who had also gotten heavy after the birth of my younger brother, decided it was time for a change. She and I started Atkins. But that didn't last long. Sure, we both lost a little, but a long stall coupled with cravings made us stop. As a teenage girl, I became a lot more conscious about my weight. I started trying everything. Weight Watchers, counting calories, Atkins again, even starving myself. But nothing worked. I would lose a little, then regain it and more. It was rough being a 200+ lb girl, especially one that ended up gaining three big issues. The first issue was that I became a boredom eater. The second was that I had become a binge eater. This compared with the first was a problem meant when I got bored, I would binge. But there was yet another problem under all of this. I wanted to die. Failures in my weight and other unrelated areas of my life such as school, caused me to spiral into a deep depression. I slept most of the day and had almost no friends. Not even the voice in my head was a friend of mine. Whenever I started a binge, I would hear it. "Yes. Eat, little piggy. You're so fat and ugly, and a failure. You deserve nothing, not even love. No one likes you, so just eat yourself to death." I wanted to commit suicide not by any normal method, but by slowly destroying my body. Eating until I was so big I died of any number of issues. I knew a few people cared about me, my parents and at least one person at school. That was another reason for trying to die slowly. I wanted them to become so disgusted with me, that they wouldn't care if I died. This carried on into my first two years of college. And then I had a psychological breakdown. I won't go into what happened, but I ended up seeing both a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Together we started to work through my issues, silencing the voice in my head, dealing with my depression, treating anxiety, getting me to be a functional part of society. I was seeing an OBGYN during this time as well, and I was diagnosed with PCOS and the insulin resistance that came with it. That seemed to be a lot of the reason why I couldn't lose weight. But what was left for me to try? Another diet? I felt like nothing worked. I tried Nutrisystem, but the food was gross and I was unhappy. But due to the psychological help and a name to what's been plaguing my weight (and the love of my fiancee, who I met after receiving help), I no longer wanted to die. I wanted to live. I wanted to see 30. So two years ago I turned to weight loss surgery. I planned to have the bypass done, but right off the bat, I wasn't too fond of my surgical team. I felt like a number to them. My surgeon I would only see for maybe a minute each appointment if I saw him at all. But still, I stuck with it until my sixth appointment got canceled. It was late December. He had gone on vacation. My PCP, who I had been able to see for some of the check-ins, had a full schedule so I couldn't see her. No one would do the check-in. I had to start all over again. It was at this point that my mom suggested I try Keto. It worked for my Uncle. It was working relatively well for her. I decided why not. The reason why I shouldn't have was because I gained an obsession with numbers. In Keto (at least the way I understood it), the general maximum grams of carbs per day is 20. I felt guilty if I went over 5. In a sense, it worked. I lost about 30 pounds. But at this time, I also started to abuse laxatives because I wanted to keep seeing that number on the scale go down. Still, much like everything else I had tried before, I hit a stall then started to regain. Frustrated, I gave up. I went back to my old ways, figuring that I had screwed my body up too badly to be recovered. Then, three months and a change in insurance ago, I got curious. Would my new insurance cover bariatric surgery? I checked and saw that it would. That day, I made a decision. I would get on the path to surgery again. And this time, I would complete it no matter what. I found a new surgeon with a new group. It's one that actually specializes in obesity medicine. Half of my six appointments are actually with the surgeon, and he explains things in more detail than I got before. The other half is with a nutritionist who is actually knowledgeable about the dietary needs of bariatric patients. I feel like a person, not a number. I feel actually informed. I feel more ready for this surgery. In October, a week after I get married, I will be having my last check-in with my surgeon. Then everything will go to insurance. I'm ready.

Oooookaaaaay...So, uh...it's been just a little while since my last update, hasn't it? 14 months still counts as a "little while" doesn't it? Anyway, the past year has had some big developments in my journey. If I were to narrate everything that happened over the past 14 months, this post could possibly be as long as the first one here, so instead, I'll give a bulleted list. Several weeks after my surgery, as my husband was leaving for work, he gave me a hug and commented that he could finally get his arms around me. It made me so, so happy. I tried for a while to get some sort of small pedal machine for under my desk at work. I sit at a computer all day, and so I thought it might help. Unfortunately, I discovered that my desk does not have the space needed for something like that. I still search for something I can do at work. I have hit several very long stalls (in fact, I'm just breaking one now). They were incredibly frustrating, but small changes and patience finally won out. My husband and I moved out of our apartment and bought a house. While this is exciting, it did have the unfortunate drawback of moving away from the forest path that I would go for walks on. Finding a new path to go for walks on hasn't been easy, mostly because of the weather. In a similar vein to the previous bullet point, my ankle doesn't bother me as much anymore. Because of the move, I had to find a new psychiatrist. Among other things I was diagnosed with, I was officially told that I had binge eating disorder, and I am finally being treated for it. My new depression medication is also used to treat BED, and it works wonderfully. I attempted planning my meals a week in advance, as well as meal prepping. This didn't work out too well. Leftovers went uneaten and many meals didn't get made because I wouldn't feel like making them that day. Too much food ended up wasted. Instead, I plan dinner while I work then stop by the store on my way home. I looked at myself (well, more than just my face) in a mirror for the first time in years. I ended up buying a new wardrobe, partly because my clothes were old and worn but mostly because they really, really didn't fit anymore. Apparently, I was down two clothing sizes. Perhaps the biggest development is that I've lost 118lbs! However, I can't actually see the loss. Guys, I feel really, really good. Not just good, I feel like a person again. I honestly don't remember the last time I felt like a person. I'm taking care of myself again: doing my makeup, trying to tame the frizz that is my hair, cleaning the house, all that sort of thing.

Hello, and congrats on getting your VSG! When I got my sleeve done back in 2018, I had a hard time getting all my fluids in as well, but it does get a lot easier over time. Remember, your stomach is still healing. I do agree with lisafrommassachusetts though. Track all liquids, including protein shakes and broth. You may be getting in more fluids than you realize!

I noticed a few NSVs last night/this morning, and I'm just so happy I had to share. So, here they are. 1) I had to tighten the strap on the mask for my CPAP 2) I've noticed that I've started taking better care of myself and have generally been feeling happier 3 (and my favorite)) Today as I was leaving for work, my husband hugs me and said, "You've lost so much weight, I can hug you more completely". Guys. He can finally get his arms the whole way around me. I have been smiling about this all day.

Dear Week 3 stall, Why did you have to happen now? I have my follow up with my surgeon tomorrow, and I wanted to show a larger weight loss. Instead, you had to come early, at week 2. I understand why you show up. I understand that you're only a temporary visitor. I'm just frustrated. Especially since I know I'm losing inches. From, Neri

I've been having a lot of trouble getting in all my water for the day because in the evening water starts making me feel extremely nauseous. I'm able to sip at my water up until that point. I'm also still able to drink protein shakes and have soup just fine too. Has anyone else experienced this?

I forgot to take measurements at first too. But I am measuring now, and it's so nice to see that the inches are still going down even if the scale refuses to budge!

Congrats! You look amazing!

I had my surgery on Dec. 26th and went back to work on Dec. 31st. However, the reason I was able to do this is because I was allowed to work from home. I also have a desk job, but I didn't actually drive back in to work until yesterday. The pain meds that you may have been given upon leaving the hospital may impair your driving. Due to this, I would say it's best to ask your surgeon if it's okay to drive.

You look amazing! Congrats!

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now.

That's amazing! Congrats!

I use an app called BodBot Monday through Friday. It's sort of like having a personal trainer in your pocket! I also have a desk elliptical that I use every day for at least half an hour, and I'm looking to get back into ballroom dancing with my husband.

I've made those before! It's really easy to do, and works wonderfully as a sandwich wrap.

I did not have a roommate (unless you count my husband, who stayed in the recliner beside the bed the whole time I was in there). In fact, in the hospital I was at, it seemed like all the rooms on my floor were single occupant. I do agree with Healthy_life though. You should call ahead to see what the room situation could be, and you can see if you can get a private room.

It's normal to be afraid before major surgery. But it'll be okay. The surgery itself is safer than getting a hip replacement (.08% vs .4%). And major complications only occur in about 2.4% of patients. You'll be okay. Sources: https://asmbs.org/resources/studies-weigh-in-on-safety-and-effectiveness-of-newer-bariatric-and-metabolic-surgery-procedure https://www.arthritis.org/living-with-arthritis/treatments/joint-surgery/types/hip/hip-replacement-mortality-rates.php https://obesitynewstoday.com/gastric-sleeve-complications/

From what I understand, this stall is a very common thing. We will get through this

The human body is so odd, isn't it? But we will break through!

Thanks

Thank you, everyone, for all the advice! I've tried adding flavorings to my water, and it works! I can get more down

I had my surgery on December 26th, and I didn't really feel restriction either. At least, not at first. I've moved on to pureed, which includes scrambled eggs. And it was the scrambled eggs that really got me feeling the restriction. In other words, give it time. You may not feel the restriction with liquids, but as you progress with the diet you will feel it.

Another update: well, yesterday was my surgery. I would have updated then, but I was just so out of it. So instead, I'm updating today. Yesterday I felt both terrible and awesome. Terrible because I was in pain and horribly nauseous. I even ended up throwing up at one point. But I felt awesome because I did it. I got through surgery. Today I'm doing much better. I'm still in pain and nauseous, but it is not as bad as yesterday. I'm also up walking more.

It's just about 12 hours before I have to report to registration for my surgery, and I'm starting to get anxious. I'm afraid of not getting the surgery for one reason or another. Maybe something will come up and the surgeon will have to cancel. Maybe my liver didn't shrink enough (or at all), and they'll stop the process. Basically, I'm afraid something will happen and I won't get my surgery. And I know it's silly to worry about such a thing, but I do. I can't help it.

I said I would update here on my journey, and so I shall. It has been an extremely busy couple of months for me. After getting married in October, I had my final appointment with my surgeon. And then began the nervewracking wait for insurance. I waited and waited. Finally, I got the call from my surgeon's office. I had been approved! That day I scheduled my surgery for December 26th. Three days ago I started the preop liver shrink diet. It has been kicking my butt. I'm tired and nauseous all the time, but it'll be worth it. I know it will.

Sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I've been rather busy. Anyway. My job kind of has two parts. The first is doing a final proofread. I work for a newspaper, and the editor is the one who mostly edits over the articles. However, we do one final look just to make sure there isn't anything that's missed. The other (and main) part of my job is putting the pages together. We figure out where the articles and pictures should go on the page, as well as pick out the national and international articles that should go in the paper. Then we send the pages to the pressman for printing.