Louisa Latela

It is my belief that we are all wonderful magnificent bundles of energetic love. That is our true or authentic essence. We know this when we are born, but somewhere along the way we disconnect from our authentic self; and in the process we learn to speak the language of harsh self judgment and negativity. One of the ways to tell if you are “disconnected’ is that you approach the task of losing weight from a place grounded in hatred and contempt for your overweight body and perceived lack of willpower. Your self talk may sound something like this: “I hate my body, I can’t wait to lose weight, I can’t go to that party looking like this, I can’t believe I ate that, I am so mad at myself, I know better, I should do better”. If that sounds like you, and you would like to re-connect with your authentic self, I suggest that you take a different approach to losing weight. Honor the role that compulsive eating and excess weight have played in your life. Be kind and gentle with you. If what you want more than anything is to have a slender healthy body and you do something to sabotage that, that ‘s the time you need an emotional HUG, not a beating. Know this: whenever anyone is acting in a way does not honor their highest good they are disconnected from their truth. They are just trying to feel better. Overeating is often an attempt to self nurture. I suggest that you try releasing your excess weight and the behavior of compulsive eating from a place grounded in the energy of Self Love and Compassion, not self degradation and frustration. Many people describe food as their best friend; something they can count on that is unconditional and consistent. They use the behavior of compulsive eating to soothe a broken heart, calm an anxious mind, let go of a crazy day at the office, lift their spirits, reward themselves, or connect with family and friends. I’ve even had people tell me they don’t know if they’d be alive if they didn’t have food to turn to in particularly dark times for if they didn’t have food to numb their feelings they fear they would have turned to alcohol, drugs, or even suicide. Can you relate to any of these concepts? If so can you see that you were/are using food to try to feel better, not because you are a bad or weak person? In terms of excess weight, people have told me it made them feel grounded and strong. It was their identity. Others have said that it has protected them from the anxiety associated with dating and intimacy. I’ve had people tell me their weight gave them an excuse to not really “go for it” in their lives. If they didn’t get the job they wanted or didn’t have a date, they blamed it on their weight. Below is an excerpt from my e-workbook “Live Your Highest Good Make Peace With Your Body and Food” that may lead you to greater insights as to why you carry with you excess weight. So think about this: What role has your excess weight played in your life? If your weight could talk, what would it say? As you answer the following questions be aware of any significant or uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, impulses or sensations in your body. Notice if you are able to stay focused or if your attention wanders. 1.Close your eyes and picture the people who raised you standing in front of you. Imagine that you are at your heaviest weight. If your weight could talk, what would it say to them? 2.What would your heaviest weight say to your siblings or other relatives? 3.What would your heaviest weight say to any other significant people from your past? 4.What would your heaviest weight say to significant people in your life today (partner, spouse, coworkers, friends.). Take some time and really think about this. Your Healthy Weight Voice Now imagine yourself at your ideal healthy weight. And imagine those same people standing before you. How do you feel now being with them without your excess weight? Do you feel strong and empowered, or do you feel somewhat scared and vulnerable? What would your healthy weight voice say to: The people who raised you? Your siblings or other relatives? Other significant people from your past? Significant people in your life today? Reflection: What have you learned through this exercise about the role excess weight has played in your life? Who would you be without your weight? Try this exercise the next time you take a shower: As you wash each part of your body bless it and send it love. Speak to your body as if you were speaking to a child or friend whom you love unconditionally. Thank your body for being there for you. Remember that no matter how much you stuffed it, starved it, exercised it or not, it keeps getting up and showing up for you every day. Bless and love your head, your eyes, your ears, your nose, your mouth, your chin, your neck, your shoulders, your arms, and your hands. Bless and love your back, your chest, your abdomen, your hips, your genitals, your thighs, your calves, your ankles and your feet. If you have excess fat on your body love it and bless it. Thank it for having been there for you. Know that you created it to serve as a protective shield for you to keep you centered, grounded, and safe. Now visualize yourself standing before a gateway on a beautiful hill or on the crest of a wave. Your entire life lies behind you and below you. See that every experience of your past is tied to you by silver and golden threads. Pause and review these experiences... all the joys and all the sorrows... all the adventures it took to bring you to this point... remember all your struggles with your body and your weight. Observe it all, bless it all, thank it all...especially the struggles. Now untie the threads attaching you to the past, and with all the love you can muster, let your excess weight know that it is safe for it to go now. Tell it that you are releasing it with love and gratitude, and you are now ready to learn new ways to love and nurture yourself. Release it all and bless it all. In releasing your attachment to the past, you claim your power in the present. WOW!!! How did that feel???? Take time to write any reflections, thoughts or feelings that surfaced while doing the shower exercise. You may even want to write a love letter to your body!! Have a beautiful day! Live in Love, Louisa

"I’m mad at myself,” Winfrey writes in an upcoming issue of O magazine. “I’m embarrassed,” she says. “I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, ‘How did I let this happen again?’” No coincidence that I read this article online Tuesday morning, and the night before in my tele-support group some of the participants were talking about their frustration with themselves re: having lost weight, knowing how to do it, understanding when and why they overeat, yet still sabotaging their long term weight loss success. One woman having lost nearly 100 pounds with Weight Watchers gained close to 30 pounds within the last 6 months. She was saying how angry and frustrated she was with herself and she couldn’t believe she let this happen. This prompted me to go on a bit of a spiel about the need for self love and compassion, trusting that you are exactly where you are meant to be, accepting what is, living in this moment, listening to your inner voice right here, right now, and acting on it’s guidance in terms of what you need to do in this moment to honor your highest good. That means not beating yourself up about the last moment or worrying about your ability to succeed in the next but rather learning to be a non judgmental witness to your behaviors and their consequences and evaluating their effectiveness in supporting you in living your best life. The words we speak to ourselves are powerful. I believe that what we say to ourselves in this moment creates our experience/reality in the next moment. Isn’t it amazing that even Oprah would be angry and disappointed in herself? Even with all the access she has to the world’s most powerful spiritual teachers on some level she still struggles to truly/unconditionally love herself. More than anything this proves the point that we are all the same, we are all connected, we are all human. On a very positive note Oprah has said that being thin is no longer her goal, but that she wants to be healthy strong and fit. Like I wrote in my last blog re: What Motivates You? I do know that chances are slim (pun intended!) that you will maintain your weight loss if your only motivation is the number on the scale. Motivation must come from the inside out! Some things you may want to affirm for your life: I listen to and trust my inner wisdom. I treat my body with kindness and respect. I listen with love to my body’s messages. I say only kind and loving things to and about myself. If you have any thoughts or comments about this blog or would like to learn more about my tele-support groups please do not hesitate to contact me at Louisa@louisalatela.com , www.louisalatela.com or 856.429.9799. Also you can read my column "Soulful Living" in WLS Lifestyles Magazine (www.wlslifestyles.com ) P.S. Thank you Oprah for speaking your truth and sharing your story. Your words resonate deeply with millions of people and serve to motivate positive change in the world. You are a most precious gift to the universe!

Love really is the answer! Permanent healthy weight loss is the consequence of self love and respect, not the cause of it! In order to make peace with your body and food there is no way of getting around it: you just gotta love and accept yourself just as your are right here, right now, in this very moment.....and you have to be willing to hang in there with yourself when you are desperately trying to change a behavior from which you want more than anything to be free. Life would be so simple if we would just get out of our own way! But we have a tendency to make things so darn complicated!! And most of us have tons of ways that we get in our way of having fun and really enjoying life, we: * worry about what other people think about us. * always have to be the peace maker. * can’t say “No” to people. * are the “life of the party” in front of family and friends, but secretly feel stressed and depressed. * spend a lot of time feeling regretful or angry about things that happened in the past. * worry about the future. * gossip. * feel responsible for the happiness of others. * forget to put tending to our needs on our “to do” list. *allow the actions of others, the number on the scale, or the size of our jeans to determine our mood and control how we feel. * base our self worth on the things we have, the money we make, or the success of our spouse or children. * don’t speak up for ourselves. * can’t accept a compliment. * over/under eat, smoke, drink a little too much, or depend on prescription meds to get through the day. ................................................ to name a few!!! So, how do you get out of your own way??? You get out of your way by coming home to Yourself!! You stop and take a deep breath and turn your attention inward. You ask yourself, “What will support my Highest Good?” You listen to and feel the answer that comes from within, then: You act in accordance with the guidance you receive from you!!! That’s it!! It really is that simple.... But sometimes it just feels so difficult.... To “get out of your way” where food is concerned do this: Before you put anything in your mouth ask yourself: “Am I physically hungry?” If the answer is “Yes”: Eat what it is that your body is truly hungry for. (It may take some time to cultivate an authentic awareness of you body's hunger and fullness signals as well as your body's needs and wants.) Eat mindfully with passion and presence, and stop eating when you are comfortable (not stuffed!). If the answer “No” then don’t eat!! That’s it! It is as simple as that... ...And as difficult as that. Making peace with your body and food requires that you allow yourself to feel your feelings when you want to eat when you are not physically hungry. It requires that you allow yourself to “experience the experience” of not eating when you are not physically hungry. It requires that you show up for yourself like you would show up for someone you loved dearly who was struggling to change a behavior. It requires that you be willing to breathe into and embrace your feelings, especially the painful ones. They will lead you home to your Authentic Self. I am offering a new Tele-class based on "Live Your Highest Good Make Peace With Your Body and Food" e-workbook starting September 29, 2010. For details visit “It’s time for you to fall in love with you!! It’s time for you to reclaim your power over food and live an authentic joy filled life!! Learn to honor the role compulsive eating and excess weight has played in your life and let it guide you home to or contact me at louisa@louisalatela.com or 856.429.9799. www.liveyourhighestgood.com

Or are you trying to build your recovery around your life? (In this context I am using the term recovery to mean the freedom from the obsession with food and weight issues, the end of yo-yo dieting, the maintenance of a healthy and happy body.) Have you defined for yourself mandatory positive self care rituals and routines: i.e. those things you must do on a consistent basis to support the maintenance of healthy weight loss? Here are some of the most common “non-negotioables” that my clients have found to work for them in creating a life that supports long term weight loss. set intention for the day: i.e."It is my intention to treat myself with love and respect." daily meditation/conscious breathing 6-8 glasses of Water daily fresh fruit and veggies daily minimum of 10 minutes intentional movement/exercise daily maintain awareness of breath throughout the day take vitamins/supplements daily positive self talk make time to eat healthfully even when really busy (even just 10 minutes to be still and enjoy some yogurt and granola) grocery shop and prepare foods for week pack foods for the day daily gratitude connection to positive and supportive people engage in some sort of fun activity or hobby on a regular basis set boundaries self love and compassion...no matter what!! For those who are still constant passengers on the yo-yo dieting roller coaster, chances are you may be able to list your non-negotiables but you have not been able to incorporate them into your life on a consistent basis. If that’s the case you are most likely trying to build your recovery around your life. That usually doesn’t work for the long term. Think about it: if living your life the way you have been living it keeps you unhappy with your body and weight wouldn’t it make sense that some part of the way you are living your life must change if you want to be at peace with your body and weight? Bottom line is this: you must allow your health and well being to be number one on your list of priorities. I know you have heard this time and time again. But it really is as simple as that. I encourage you to set some time aside to be still and ask yourself, “What would my life look like if it was built around my recovery?” and “Am I building my life around my recovery or am I trying to build my recovery around my life?” Know this: You have all the answers inside of you... all you have to do is listen..... I have a new Overcoming Overeating Tele-Support Group starting next month. For information you can email me at louisa@louisalatela.com, call me at 856.429.9799 or visit Telephone Support Groups!. Check out my free progressive relaxation exercise at: www.liveyourhighestgood.com

Sarah Ferguson courageously appeared on Oprah just days after a she got caught selling access to her ex-husband Prince Andrew in an undercover sting. She told Oprah what she did was an act of grave stupidity. It was also an indication of low self regard, disconnection from her authentic self, and a blatant disregard of her natural intuitive knowing. She said she knew in her gut that the man was an undercover journalist but chose to ignore her instincts. She told WLS LIFESTYLES Magazine she chose food as her life when she was 13 years old. She struggled with food/body/weight issues until she was 36 years old when she became the Weight Watchers Spokesperson. She lost 50 pounds and has maintained that weight loss for more than 10 years now. In spite of her weight loss success she obviously still struggles to truly love and nurture herself. It seems as if healing her relationship with food was just the beginning of Sarah’s journey home to her authentic self. She said this recent sting operation has left her feeling like she was stripped bare. While there can be some uncomfortable feelings in being totally exposed, with it also comes freedom. Because she has been thrust into such a vulnerable position Sarah can now relinquish her Quest to be perfect which she told Oprah started when she was 12 year old. She no longer has to try to be what she believes everyone else expects or wants her to be. As paradoxical as it may seem it is true that in vulnerability lies authentic power. She understands that in order to gain control of her life, heal her heart, and let go of her feelings of self hatred she must now love and embrace all of who she is, even (especially) her dark parts and truly forgive herself. This will allow her to move forward connected to her Truth and live her life as her wonderful and amazing authentic Self. I know Sarah’s struggle to live a life truly reflective of self love and respect resonates with millions of people. In sharing her ups and downs, accomplishments and setbacks along the journey home to her authentic self she will indeed be an inspiration and healing energy in the lives of countless people around the world. I wish for her all the best.... How about you? Are you living your Authentic Life? Below I have listed Characteristics of Authentic Living. How many of these characteristics describe you? You live your life with passion and purpose.<br> You feel a profound sense of serenity and bliss deep within your heart. You are able to remain peaceful and centered even in the midst of chaos. You are number one on your list of priorities. You feel really good about yourself no matter what anyone else says about you. You listen to your instincts. You trust yourself to make good decisions on your behalf. You are addiction free. You are honest. You are intent on living your life from a place that is grounded in love, not fear. You take good care of your body (eat well, drink plenty of Water, exercise regularly, get a good night’s sleep). You are comfortable speaking up for yourself in a way that is loving and respectful to all concerned. You are surrounded by people who support and Celebrate You. You live in a state of gratitude. You live mindfully, ever conscious of living in the NOW. You take time each day for sacred silence, to be still and listen to you. If you have any questions or comments you can contact me at louisa@louisalatela.com or 856.429.9799. To learn more about living authentically check out my new e-workbook “Live your Highest Good: Make Peace With Your Body and Food” www.liveyourhighestgood.com

You are perfect in this moment. Self-love and compassion is the foundation upon which a joy-filled authentic life must be built. From this moment on I’d like you to make a vow to yourself to never say another unkind word to or about yourself. It serves no positive purpose. Many of my clients really have a difficult time with this one; in fact, a lot of them don’t even realize that they are saying unkind things to or about themselves because negative self talk has become their native language. Just take a moment to imagine what it would feel like to unconditionally love and accept yourself... to know that no matter what you did or didn’t do, you would not shame or berate yourself. If you can’t imagine that for yourself, think about someone whom you do love unconditionally: maybe a child, your spouse, your pet. Imagine feeling about yourself and responding to yourself the way you do to and about them What would your life look like? Would you care for yourself differently? If so, how? What would you say to yourself? Would you dress differently? Would your relationships change? How would you be eating? What would you be talking about with your friends and family? Would your career be any different? How about hobbies? Would you be doing anything different socially? Would your living environment change? If so, how? Take some time to think about this: Do you love yourself unconditionally? Write down any thoughts or feelings that arise for you. If the answer is “no,” describe how your life would be different than it is today if you did love and accept yourself unconditionally. Use the questions above as a guide or refer back to Lesson One’s Characteristics of Authentic Living. If you get stuck, think about someone you believe to be living a life that is truly reflective of self love and respect.... How is his or her life different from yours? This is an excerpt from "Live Your Highest Good: Make Peace With Your Body and Food" E-Workbook. To read more go to www.liveyourhighestgood.com or contact Louisa at louisa@liveyourhighestgood.com or 856.429.9799.

I have observed 3 traits common to most people who are unable to “stick to a diet” or make the lifestyle changes necessary to maintain healthy weight loss: 1. They believe that a particular diet plan, fitness expert, book, doctor, or personal trainer, holds the magic formula that will forever end their weight woes. They see the answer to their weight issues as lying outside of them and set themselves up to assume a victim status. You cannot turn your power over to someone or something external and expect to live an empowered healthy life. You must learn to connect with your inner wisdom and act on its guidance. In terms of your body and weight you must get clear about your intention to treat your body with love and respect. When you do that and check in with your internal guidance, you know what you must do to have a healthy and strong body. You will be intuitively drawn to any external support you need like nutrition or fitness experts, books, or support groups. You follow what feels right and let go of anything that conflicts with your inner wisdom. You lose weight from the inside out, which really is the only way to make lifestyle changes necessary for you to be at peace with your body and food. 2. Inherent in the diet mentality is the core belief that being overweight is bad, which translates into “I am bad or weak if I am overweight,” and that the solitary act of losing weight is the key to happiness and self acceptance. It promotes the thinking that “When I lose weight I will really love and accept myself and then I can be happy.” Actually, the opposite is true. Once you love and accept yourself just as you are, and give yourself permission to be happy, you will release your excess weight. Permanent healthy weight loss is a consequence of self love and respect, not the cause of it. 3. The majority of their thoughts are focused on how much they do not like their body, and how much they don’t like being overweight. This way of thinking leads to feelings of anger, frustration, and depression, which attract to them more life experiences that leave them feeling angry, frustrated, and depressed about their weight and their body. Your life is a physical manifestation of your predominant thoughts and feelings. If you want to lose weight you must stop thinking and focusing on how much you don’t like your body and weight the way it is now. You must start to imagine and feel what it will be like to be at your ideal healthy weight, to be at peace with your body, to truly love and nurture yourself. You must look for ways and reasons to feel good! To read more about this visit www.liveyourhighestgood.com If you have any questions or comments I would love to hear from you.. email me at louisa@louisalatela.com or call me at 856.429.9799 My e-workbook “Live Your Highest Good: Make Peace with Your Body and Food” is now available!! Go to www.liveyourhighestgood.com

Yes, it does take courage to "let go and trust yourself".. and in the midst of letting go... we sometimes have to face some hard truths about ourselves... There is a great quote from Cristiane Norhtrup that speaks to this process : “The closer we get to uncovering ourselves, the more difficult it becomes to face the truth. Sooner or later we stop running, out of sheer exhaustion and desperation, and turn around to face our image. The pain that we go through during this revelation is negligible compared to the State of Grace that we enter into when we have finally moved on." Christiane Northrup Remember: You're worth the effort of working through it!! All the best! Louisa www.liveyourhighestgood.com

I was recently interviewed by Stephanie Vincent for her blog: “Radical Hate Loss”.scale or the size of her jeans. This was a major paradigm shift for Stephanie... The most interesting thing is happening… since she has forsaken the dieting lifestyle, (and all the negative self-chatter that accompanies it), for one that is all about self love and acceptance, she’s in the best shape physically, emotionally, and spiritually that’s she’s ever been!! Since she has been committed to living in the Now things are “just kind of magically falling into place.” She has adopted a healthy eating and exercise lifestyle, not because she is following some prescribed protocol, but because she is able to stop and listen to her inner wisdom and act on its promptings. She is listening and responding lovingly to her body’s messages. In other words, her actions are guided from the inside out! And the best part of it all is that she is truly awake, alive, appreciative of, present to, and enjoying every moment (even the painful ones!!)of this magical journey!! How about you?? Have you put your happiness on hold until you “get to where you think you should be” in relation to your weight, finances, relationship, career or some other external measure? Or, have you allowed yourself the luxury of unconditional self love and acceptance, and the joy of living in the Present Moment?? I’d love to hear your thoughts about this!! Louisa@louisalatela.com Also for details about my new “Reclaim Your Power Over Food” Tele- Support Group starting the end of this month you can call me at 856.429.9799, email me at Louisa@louisalatela.com or visit http://www.louisalatela.com/id65.html

In the book "Unplugging the Christmas Machine" by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli, the "one common concern among most that is universal: is the yearning for a simpler, less commercial, more soul-satisfying celebration. A universal wish to end the year with a festival of renewal that rekindles our spirit, brings us closer to the people we care about, and brings light and laughter to the dark days of winter. We want to ward off the commercial excesses of the season and create an authentic, joyful celebration in tune with our unique needs and desires." Do you often find yourself dreading the holidays, feeling stressed with all the family and financial obligations that come along with the season and ignoring your physical, spiritual, and emotional needs during this time of year?? Don’t let that happen again!! Think about how you would like to experience this holiday season. Get clear about what is most important to you. Imagine what it would be like to really have fun and enjoy the Season. Feel what that would feel like. Write a vision statement about how you hope to remember this holiday season. Date the statement January 10, 2010. Here’s an example: 1/10/10 Wow!! I can’t ever remember having such a wonderful holiday season. I made up my mind that I was not going to get caught up in all the commercialism and family drama that typically takes over my life from Nov.1 through Jan. 3 every year. I talked to my friends who I usually exchange gifts with and asked if we could stop doing that. I suggested that in place of getting gifts we make a date to all get together after the Holidays because really connection with each other is the most precious gift. They loved the idea and were grateful for one less thing to do. I also met with my family and suggested that we only buy gifts for children under 18 and stop exchanging between adults. I couldn’t believe they all agreed! I started shopping for my kids the end of October and wrapped the gifts as I bought them. I can’t tell you how much easier that made my life. (I always think wrapping is no big deal, but it is if you wait till the last minute). I politely said “no” to a couple of Holiday Party invitations. One person was a little annoyed with me but I reminded myself that she is entitled to her feelings, and it is not my responsibility to make sure everyone is happy. I told her I was sorry that she was hurt and was taking my decline to attend her party personally but it really had nothing to do with her. I told her I was committed to having a stress-free holiday and the timing of her party just did not work for my family’s schedule. This year I had lots of games for the whole family to play after our Holiday dinner, so that the entire day wasn’t focused around food. Everyone had so much fun!! And it kept the adults and kids together… I had such a warm and cozy feeling just watching my big crazy family playing charades and teasing and laughing with one another. I also invited a neighbor over for the festivities ‘cause she doesn’t have family nearby and recently broke up with her boyfriend. She was so grateful. But the BEST part of the whole season was that I took care of ME FIRST!!! I exercised at least 3 times a week. I also was prepared for the holiday food festival that starts at Thanksgiving (if I get real honest it starts with Halloween) and doesn’t end till January 1. I did affirmations everyday and reminded myself that for me the Holiday Season was about taking time to just love and appreciate all the many wonderful people in my life and be ever mindful of the many blessings in my life. I made sure I did not go to any party hungry and before I ate anything I fast forwarded the tape and asked myself if what I was about to eat was worth the consequences. I would sporadically keep food records just to kind of “check in” with myself. I kept my focus on “The most important thing to me is connecting with family and friends during this Season. I am having so much fun doing that. And it is so cool that I don’t need to eat poorly in order to enjoy myself!!”. I was and still am ever mindful of the saying “Never give up what you want the most for what you want this moment!!” and what I want most is to be happy and healthy! It just felt so good to keep my word to myself and make myself a priority this year. And you know what? It made the Holidays nicer for my husband and kids too!!! I think this is going to be a great year!! It’s your turn now!!:thumbdown: I will be facilitating a Tele-Support group re: Enjoy the Holidays starting Thurs. October 22. For more information call me at 856.429.9799, email me at Louisa@louisalatela.com or visit http://www.louisalatela.com/id65.html

Now that you've gotten clear about why you want to lose weight, it is time to write a vision statement. I'd like you to write the statement as if it is one year from today. A vision statement is a vivid description of your hopes and dreams. It should be inspiring, energizing, and help you keep clearly focused on the life you most deeply desire to live. The vision statement should contain a specific vision or desire, the feelings you feel knowing your desire has manifested, and the way your life and the life of those around you have been affected by you having manifested your vision. Use the answers from the previous exercise to help you write your vision statement. Here’s an example: "I am so excited that I am at a healthy weight and have maintained this weight for more than 3 months now!! I am truly at peace with my body and my relationship with food. I feel so free, light hearted, joyful, blessed and relieved. I am enjoying excellent health. I have more energy than I could have ever imagined. I am able to be so much more present in my life. I now play basketball with my children, go dancing with my husband, and have started a yoga practice. I walk with a bounce in my step and keep my head held high. Getting dressed is so much fun! My memory has even improved. I am much more productive at work and as a result my income has increased twofold! I am so excited by my new found energy and health that my bliss just emanates from me for miles and miles. I no longer avoid social situations, in fact I now consider myself a “Social Butterfly”! I love feeling, living, and being healthy. My family and friends are so inspired by my way of living that many of them have started living more healthfully. My husband and children love that I am much more involved in their everyday lives and have said they feel more loved by me." It's your turn now!! Have fun with it!! All the best!! Louisa If you have any questions or comments email me at louisa@louisalatela.com or call me at 856.429.9799. www.louisalatela.com

According to the Law of Attraction your life is a physical manifestation of your predominant thoughts and feelings. If you have spent many years battling with your weight and not liking your body, the primary focus of your thoughts and feelings has been that of discontent in terms of your weight and body. Every thought you think carries with it an energetic vibration and will attract experiences that carry with them like vibrations. If you are focused on needing to lose weight, not liking the weight you are now, and feel like it is a struggle you will attract to you more life experiences that will be an energetic match to that feeling thus showing up as excess weight, discontent with your current body state, and struggle. Focusing on what you don’t want is like having someone say to you “Don’t think of an elephant” (I bet you just pictured an elephant in your mind!!). If you want a strong, slender, healthy body, you must keep your focus on the kind of body you want and the feeling of what it would be like to live in that body. It does take energy and effort to keep yourself focused on what you do want especially if your dominant focus has been on that of what you do not want. Answering the following questions will help you shift your thoughts in a positive direction. Why do you want to resolve your weight issues? How will your life be different if you were at a healthy weight? Use the following questions as a guideline: Do you think your health would improve? If so how? Would your energy level change? If so how? Are there physical activities that you would participate in that you do not do today because of your weight? Do you have any aches and pains you think would be resolved if you lost weight? Would you walk differently? Would you interact with people differently? Would you talk differently? Would your relationships change? Would you eat differently? If so how? Are there people you would be more or less involved with if you lost weight? Would losing weight affect your career? If so, how? Would losing weight affect your family? If so, how? Would you dress differently? If so how? Would you have any new hobbies? Would it affect your social life? If so how? Do you think it would affect your mood? How about your mental clarity? Next week I’ll tell you how to use the answers to these questions to generate a powerful vision statement… Blessings and Peace, Louisa p.s. I’ll be offering new telephone support groups starting in September. If you have any questions or would like more information about them email me at louisa@louisalatela.com or call me at 856.429.9799. www.louisalatela.com

Is there really such a thing as GOOD grief? Most of us will not get to leave this earth without having lost a loved one. Recently 3 of my clients who are in the midst of grieving the loss of a family member are also struggling with some old eating behaviors they thought were long gone. Because the experience of loss often triggers very intense and uncomfortable emotions, it is a normal knee jerk reaction to look for ways to stop these feelings. For the food addict a chocolate chip cookie seems to be the best and most logical cure for these terrible feelings. But I am willing to bet you know that is not the case, that the only way to heal our feelings is to breathe into and embrace them, allowing ourselves to feel them as intensely as we possible can. Running from them whether it be by overeating, excessive alcohol or drug consumption, overworking, etc. only delays the inevitable (remember: wherever you go there you are!!). I received the following email from a client I worked with years ago. She was bulimic at the time. With lots of hard work, dedication and courage, she was able to gain control of her eating behaviors and heal her relationship with food. Last month her grandfather died. I have shared this email exchange with some of my other clients and they found it helpful, so I felt compelled to share it here with you. Please note I have changed the name of my client to protect her identity. Hi Louisa, I hope you are well. I have a question for you. My grandfather passed away two weeks ago. I am having a difficult time with his death and as a result, my eating is crazy! Any suggestions for getting back on track and continuing with the progress I was so happily making? I'm not blaming my poor grandpa; I just want to feel better. I know the grieving process can take time, but I am creating more misery for myself. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks so much. Alexa Hi Alexa, So sorry to hear of your loss. And yes the grieving process does take time. The key is to allow yourself to really feel and grieve vs. stuff and purge your feelings. Often times one will feel a lot better after they have had a good cry. Don't be afraid of the feelings. Also it sometimes helps to talk about how you are feeling about your loss, your sadness, anger, pain, etc... Or sometimes it helps to just reminisce about your experiences with your loved one; recalling funny stories, memories, etc... Sometimes it is helpful to talk to someone who knew your loved one; other times it feels better to talk to "an outsider". Remember that grief comes in waves and will often pop up when you least expect it. Give yourself permission to take the time to feel: that might mean giving yourself an hour or two or a whole afternoon to just be with your feelings, and not put pressure on yourself to "be productive"; knowing that allowing yourself to honor the process is in and of itself productive. Other times it might be good to distract yourself with something fun and/or amusing: playing with your kids, gardening, etc... But before you turn to food: stop, breathe, get very still and ask yourself what would be most helpful and healing for you in this moment... if you listen you will know what to do... Be kind and gentle with yourself when you do have some food issues; understand that you are in pain and it is now that you really need an emotional hug (not a beating!). If you do make the decision to eat set the table real nice, put the food on a silver platter and eat with passion and presence. Allow yourself to enjoy it and honor the role that it is playing in your life. Another thing to think about before you binge is that you are already feeling "not good" and by bingeing you will feel even worse; even though not giving into the urge might be painful, you're in pain anyway. Might as well be in pain and not binge than be in pain and binge. I hope this is somehow helpful for you. Warmest Regards, Louisa If you have any questions or comments do not hesitate to contact me Louisa@louisalatela.com or 856.429.9799. I have 2 new telephone groups starting in May. For details visit www.louisalatela.com .

so glad that this article is resonating with you. it is so important to remember that feelings are just energy in our body, and all feelings eventually pass (even though in the moment it can feel like we will explode if we don't stop the feeling!!!.). your breath can take you a long way in decreasing the intensity of the feeling. all the best!

The Awakening Part IV (author unknown) And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn to not personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can onlydream about: a full refrigerator, clean running Water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can! www.ysayit.com Women supporting Women If you have any questions or comments do not hesitate to contact me: louisa@louisalatela.com or 856.429.9799 www.louisalatela.com

The Awakening Part III (author unknown) You learn that you don’t know everything; its not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross you bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love, romantic love and familial love; how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable Or more important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely… And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10. And you stop trying to compete with the image in your head and agonizing over how you “stack up”. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK… And that it is your right to want things and ask for the things that you want and that Sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch… and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more Water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and play. You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve… and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen in different from working towards making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live your life on your terms. Check back Monday for Part IV! www.ysayit.com Women Supporting Women. If you have any questions or comments please do not hesitate to contact me: louisa@louisalatela.com <FONT color=#333333><FONT face=Tahoma>

it's my pleasure! glad that it seems to be resonating with so many people!

The Awakening, Part II (Author Unknown) So you learn to stand on your own and take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their short comings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you drive , how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown or never should have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through live merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. Check back Thursday for Part III www.ysayit.com (Women Supporting Women) FYI: I will be starting another Women’s Telephone Support Group on Monday 2/23. For details visit: www.louisalatela.com If you have any questions or comments please do not hesitate to contact me! louisa@louisalatela.com or 856.429.9799

Recently I came across a beautiful essay a client shared with me several years ago. I read it with my support groups this week and it seemed to resonate with everyone. A few people suggested that I share it via my blogs. It is rather lengthy for a blog so I’ve broken it up into 4 sections. I will post a new section on Monday and Thursday mornings until I have posted it in its entirety. Enjoy! The Awakening (author unknown) A time comes in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice insider your head cries out ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your AWAKENING. You realize that its time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with YOU. And in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who and what you are …and that’s OK (They are entitled to their own views and opinions). And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things the did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. Check back Monday for Part II. www.ysayit.com (Women Supporting Women) FYI: I will be starting another Women’s Telephone Support Group on Monday 2/23. For details visit: http://www.louisalatela.com/id65.html If you have any questions or comments please do not hesitate to contact me! louisa@louisalatela.com or 856.429.9799

glad that it is resonating with you! it really is very powerful.. check back monday for part 2....

Accept your genetic body type. Your weight, height, and bone structure are strongly determined by your genes. Healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Stop comparing yourself to others. Be media conscious. We are bombarded with media messages telling us our bodies are not perfect… Most fashion and women’s magazines focus on an ideal of beauty that is just not something thatanyone in real life can be. Remind yourself that the body images you see are manufactured by make up artists, hair dressers, airbrushing specialists, fashion designers, lighting specialists, and cosmetic surgeons. Also know that many fashion models have eating disorders and are not able to maintain their low body weight in a healthy manner. Create a Why I like myself List. Think about all the things about you that you like… are you funny? Creative? Honest? Intelligent? Think of all the reasons you deserve to love yourself and write them down. Remind yourself of all the things you are besides a body. Read this list daily and add to it every time you think of something else you like about you. Create a Body Appreciation List.Think about how your body has been loyally functioning on your behalf no matter how much you fed or starved it. Write these things down (remember that your heart has continued to beat, your lungs continue to breathe, your liver continues to detoxify your body, also perhaps your body has learned a new skill, gotten stronger, taken you to the top of a hill, rejuvenated during sleep, or allowed you to comfort a child, share love with a spouse, or go shopping with friends!). Celebrate your body and the marvelous things it can do. If you’ve had WLS note all the things that your body can do now that it could not do before. How has your life changed because of the changes your body has gone through? Read this list daily and add to it every time you are grateful for something your body has done. Stop thinking that thinner thighs are the answer to all of life's problems. When you find yourself hyper focused on your body stop for a moment and ask yourself what you would be doing, thinking, or feeling if you were not obsessing about your body. What is this preoccupation stopping you from being present to in your life? Am I in anyway benefiting from focusing on what I believe are my physical flaws? Deal with and set goals about the real issues in your life - relationships, job, etc.. “Act as if you” were comfortable in your body even If you are not quite “feeling it” yet. How would you walk, what would you wear, how would you speak to people, what kind of self talk would you be speaking, what kind of eye contact would you make with others? If you change a behavior the feelings will eventually catch up. Give up judgments about your body right now!! If you find yourself being critical of your body, stopand acknowledge that this will not support you feeling good about yourself, then respond to yourself as you would to a best friend. For every negative thing you catch yourself saying about your body, apologize to your body and say 2 loving/ appreciative things about your body. Make a decision to truly “nourish" yourself. Read a good book, take a bubble bath, schedule a massage, get a haircut, dance to your favorite song, make plans with a friend, take a nap, ask for a hug, give yourself permission to say “no”, meditate, pray. Make it your intention to move and enjoy your body; go walking, swimming, biking, dancing, do yoga, tai chi, etc… not because you have to but because it makes you feel so good. Your body deserves to be treated well. Surround yourself with people who celebrate and appreciate who you are. Say “thank you” to compliments without discounting them. Know that you can control your experience of your life by the thoughts you choose to think. How you experience your life is a direct consequence of your predominant thoughts. By making a decision about the thoughts you choose to think you take responsibility for creating your reality. So if you decide to think about what is not good about your body you will experience not only your body not being good enough but you will also experience your life as never being good enough, always being in a state of waiting till things change before you can really be happy. If you choose to think about what is good about you, what you like and appreciate about you, you will feel gratitude for this life that you experience as abundant and joy-filled! You choose! SELF LOVE AND COMPASSION is the foundation upon which a healthy body image must be built. The next time you find yourself being critical of a particular body part, sit down and write a letter to that body part telling it exactly what you don’t like about it and how it makes you feel. Then have that body part write back to you telling you how it felt to read that letter. Then write back to that body part…….. and just notice what happens………. If you have any questions or comments about this article I would love to hear from you! You can email me at louisa@louisalatela.com or call me at 856.429.9799. To learn more about my telephone support groups visit www.louisalatela.com www.ysayit.com

I'm so glad this article resonated with you! All the best!

Thanks for the feedback kat!! I'll email alex. (I'm not real savvy about internet etiquette as you can probably tell!!).

Greetings, Just wanted to let you know I will be facilitating a 4 week tele-support group starting Monday evening> Details are listed below. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me louisa@louisalatela.com 856.429.9799. All the Best! Louisa Latela Many of you who have participated in my Weight Loss Surgery Support Groups, the My Self Design Program, or the Food and Feelings Groups have said you'd like extra support in staying on track with your eating program as well as remaining mindful of treating yourself in a way that is truly reflective of self love and respect during the Holidays. In response to this request I have decided to offer a 4 week Holiday Tele- Support Group. For those of you not familiar with Tele-Classes/Groups they are like a "conference call". When you sign up for the group I will email you the telephone number and access code. Then you just call the number at the scheduled group time from the comfort of your own home (telephone/long distance fees may apply depending on your particular calling plan) and you can speak with me and all the other group participants. This Holiday Tele Group will be held on Monday evenings: Dates: 12/8, 12/15, 12/22, 12/29 Time: 8:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Fee: $44.00 To Register: you can pay via paypal at http://www.louisalatela.com/id65.html email or call me at 856.429.9799 or louisa@louisalatela.com with any questions. Wishing you and yours a most blessed and joy-filled holiday season!