Louisa Latela

Are you Living Your Highest Good? Are you living from a place of connection to your Authentic Self? Do you really know how to show up for Yourself? If so you are living an Authentic Life. If you are living authentically your actions are a reflection of your Truth. You know and trust yourself. You are able to put insight into action. You quite naturally live your Highest Good. You are ever mindful of treating yourself with love and respect. You follow your bliss and create your own unique destiny. At this point you might be thinking “Huh??? What does all that mumbo jumbo even mean?” A simple example: If your body is telling you that you need to stop eating sugar and your are living authentically, you actually stop eating foods that contain sugar!! You don’t spend a lot of time making excuses or looking for reasons why you can’t do this. You cherish the good feelings and all the positive physical, emotional, and mental changes that are the result of you omitting sugar from your diet. Change really can be that easy when you are connected to YOU! Below I have listed Characteristics of Authentic Living ___You live your life with passion and purpose. ___You feel a profound sense of serenity deep within your heart. ___You are able to remain peaceful and centered even in the midst of chaos. ___ You know bliss. ___You are number one on your list of priorities. ___You feel really good about yourself no matter what anyone else says about you. ___You listen to your instincts. ___You trust yourself to make good decisions on your behalf. ___You are addiction free. ___You are honest. ___You are intent on living your life from a place that is grounded in love, not fear. ___You take good care of your body (eat well, drink plenty of water, exercise regularly, get a good night’s sleep). ___You are comfortable speaking up for yourself in a way that is loving and respectful to all concerned. ___You are surrounded by people who support and celebrate You. ___You live in a state of gratitude. ___You live mindfully, ever conscious of living in the NOW. ___You take time each day for sacred silence, to be still and listen to you. Does this list describe you? Does it describe how you feel sometimes, but not very often? If you are like most people, there are times that you feel disconnected from your Authentic Self. The good news is that you can find your way back home to You in any given moment. Look over the list of the Characteristics of Authentic Living again. On a scale of 1-10 rate how true each of the statements are about you. 1 being totally false… 10 being always true… Then record any thoughts or feelings that surfaced while you were doing this exercise. Notice how many characteristics had a score higher than 5 or higher than 8 and how many characteristics had a score lower than 5 or lower than 3. Did you learn anything new about yourself? Can you imagine scoring a 9 or 10 on all the characteristics? Why or Why not?

With the holiday season in full swing you may find yourself in the company of people who you avoid most of the year, people who "push your buttons:" who can trigger you to be reactive or defensive. People who USED to trigger you to overeat. A few things you can do to prepare for this: 1. Have realistic expectations. Don't expect them to all of a sudden be different this year. 2. Don't take their words or actions personally. (Whatever anyone says or does is a reflection of what's going on for them; it has nothing to do with you. Think about it: if someone feels good about themselves they see good in others, if someone does't feel good about themselves they won't see good in others; they will be angry, jealous, judgmental, etc.) 3. Set an intention to enjoy the holiday. Wear a bracelet or carry something in your pocket that every time you see or touch it you remember to LOOK FOR THE JOY in this moment. 4. Every time you think of the person/people who you dread seeing say a prayer for and send light and love to them, envision them happy and healthy. 5. And if someone says something that makes you nervous or upset remember the 4 R's of Responsible Respectful Responding: 1. RECENTER: Take a deep breath. If you are anxious or upset you are not centered and your breathing is shallow. Taking a couple deep breaths will help you get out of your head and back into your body; to your Center wherein lies your power (when you are not centered you lose your personal power) . 2. REFOCUS: Remind yourself of your intentions for your life and Focus on how you can handle this situation (in a kind and respectful manner) that will support those intentions. 3. RELAX: Once you are Centered and Focused you can then Relax: do a quick body scan and release any tension you might still be holding. 4.RESPOND: Now instead of impulsively reacting (from a state of fear or anxiety) you can Responsibly and Respectfully Respond to the situation with Clarity, Calm, Compassion, and Confidence! Affirmation: Recenter, Refocus, Relax, and Respond: That's how I roll! Happy Thanksgiving!! Live in Love, Louisa

I am writing this blog on Thanksgiving Day (2008). Quite naturally on this day many people stop to reflect on that for which they are grateful. Have you ever stopped to notice how you feel physically and emotionally when you are thinking in terms of gratitude? I know for myself I feel like I have a smile in my heart…my body feels light and content…and warm and fuzzy!!! Any tension that I might have been holding seems to dissipate when I am in a state of gratitude. I feel happy, content, and open to receiving that which supports my highest good. I have learned that in any moment I can choose to think in terms of gratitude and immediately change my experience of that moment. For the next month I encourage you to challenge yourself to see the positive in all your life experiences, to see the lessons and opportunities for growth that comes through life’s most difficult moments, and to make it your intention to live in a state of gratitude. If you consciously choose to see the blessings in your life they will multiply for that to which you put your attention expands. Pay attention to what works well in your life, look for the positive in every person your meet, and choose to say only kind and respectful things to and about yourself and others. Focus on what you do want in your life not what you don’t; focus on what you are in favor of, not that to which you are opposed. For example are you against war or for peace??? Though someone who is against war my be for peace, if their focus is on opposing war their experience of life will be dramatically different than if their focus is on creating peace. They will essentially be at war with war (thus creating more war) instead of looking for opportunities to create more peace. This may take some practice. Often we have some negative scripts that we have been playing in our head for many, many years. Begin to notice them and consciously choose to turn them into positives. Every time you notice yourself thinking or speaking about something you don’t like or don’t want let that be a signal to turn you attention to what you do like or do want. In terms of weight issues keep your focus on eating for good health and energy and eating and moving in a way that will support a light and fit body. Do not focus on excess weight, what you don’t like about your body or your need to lose weight. Envision yourself at your optimum weight… What are you wearing, how are you holding your body, how do you walk down the street, how to speak to other people, what are you eating, how does your body move and exercise? Really take the time to feel this, breathe the feeling in to your every cell… then begin to live your life from this vision. Start walking, talking, moving, and eating as if you were already at your ideal weight. It has been said that where the mind goes the body will follow. So,pay attention and consciously choose where your mind goes!!!! You may want to keep an intention and gratitude journal. I have my clients write down their intention for their life every morning ( it can be “my intention is to feel peace today, or treat my body with respect today, or organize my closet today, or live in a state of gratitude today, etc…”). So, before they say or do anything they ask themselves if those particular words or actions will support their intention for the day. If the answer is no they change it to something that will be in line with their intention. Then before they go to sleep at night they write down 3 things for which they are grateful. It only takes a few moments to do this, but this simple exercise has been the catalyst for major positive life changes for many of my clients. If you have any thoughts or questions about this blog or suggestions for other topics, I’d love to hear from you. You can respond to this blog, or email me at louisa@louisalatela.com. You will soon be able to listen to the audio version of this blog at http://yourhighestgood.podomatic.com Wishing you many blessings, much abundance, and peace in your heart! Live in Love, Louisa

A few things you can do to prepare for this: 1. Have realistic expectations. Don't expect them to all of a sudden be different this year. 2. Don't take their words or actions personally. (Whatever anyone says or does is a reflection of what's going on for them; it has nothing to do with you. Think about it: if someone feels good about themselves they see good in others, if someone does't feel good about themselves they won't see good in others; they will be angry, jealous, judgmental, etc.) 3. Set an intention to enjoy the holiday. Wear a bracelet or carry something in your pocket that every time you see or touch it you remember to LOOK FOR THE JOY in this moment. 4. Every time you think of the person/people who you dread seeing say a prayer for and send light and love to them, envision them happy and healthy. 5. And if someone says something that makes you nervous or upset remember the 4 R's of Responsible Respectful Responding: 1. RECENTER: Take a deep breath. If you are anxious or upset you are not centered and your breathing is shallow. Taking a couple deep breaths will help you get out of your head and back into your body; to your Center wherein lies your power (when you are not centered you lose your personal power) . 2. REFOCUS: Remind yourself of your intentions for your life and Focus on how you can handle this situation (in a kind and respectful manner) that will support those intentions. 3. RELAX: Once you are Centered and Focused you can then Relax: do a quick body scan and release any tension you might still be holding. 4.RESPOND: Now instead of impulsively reacting (from a state of fear or anxiety) you can Responsibly and Respectfully Respond to the situation with Clarity, Calm, Compassion, and Confidence! Affirmation: Recenter, Refocus, Relax, and Respond: That's how I roll! Happy Thanksgiving!! Live in Love, Louisa

This is a blog I came across that I wrote 6 years ago on Thanksgiving Day, and felt it was worth re-posting. Enjoy! I am writing this blog on Thanksgiving Day (2008). Quite naturally on this day many people stop to reflect on that for which they are grateful. Have you ever stopped to notice how you feel physically and emotionally when you are thinking in terms of gratitude? I know for myself I feel like I have a smile in my heart…my body feels light and content…and warm and fuzzy!!! Any tension that I might have been holding seems to dissipate when I am in a state of gratitude. I feel happy, content, and open to receiving that which supports my highest good. I have learned that in any moment I can choose to think in terms of gratitude and immediately change my experience of that moment. For the next month I encourage you to challenge yourself to see the positive in all your life experiences, to see the lessons and opportunities for growth that comes through life’s most difficult moments, and to make it your intention to live in a state of gratitude. If you consciously choose to see the blessings in your life they will multiply for that to which you put your attention expands. Pay attention to what works well in your life, look for the positive in every person your meet, and choose to say only kind and respectful things to and about yourself and others. Focus on what you do want in your life not what you don’t; focus on what you are in favor of, not that to which you are opposed. For example are you against war or for peace??? Though someone who is against war my be for peace, if their focus is on opposing war their experience of life will be dramatically different than if their focus is on creating peace. They will essentially be at war with war (thus creating more war) instead of looking for opportunities to create more peace. This may take some practice. Often we have some negative scripts that we have been playing in our head for many, many years. Begin to notice them and consciously choose to turn them into positives. Every time you notice yourself thinking or speaking about something you don’t like or don’t want let that be a signal to turn you attention to what you do like or do want. In terms of weight issues keep your focus on eating for good health and energy and eating and moving in a way that will support a light and fit body. Do not focus on excess weight, what you don’t like about your body or your need to lose weight. Envision yourself at your optimum weight… What are you wearing, how are you holding your body, how do you walk down the street, how to speak to other people, what are you eating, how does your body move and exercise? Really take the time to feel this, breathe the feeling in to your every cell… then begin to live your life from this vision. Start walking, talking, moving, and eating as if you were already at your ideal weight. It has been said that where the mind goes the body will follow. So,pay attention and consciously choose where your mind goes!!!! You may want to keep an intention and gratitude journal. I have my clients write down their intention for their life every morning ( it can be “my intention is to feel peace today, or treat my body with respect today, or organize my closet today, or live in a state of gratitude today, etc…”). So, before they say or do anything they ask themselves if those particular words or actions will support their intention for the day. If the answer is no they change it to something that will be in line with their intention. Then before they go to sleep at night they write down 3 things for which they are grateful. It only takes a few moments to do this, but this simple exercise has been the catalyst for major positive life changes for many of my clients. If you have any thoughts or questions about this blog or suggestions for other topics, I’d love to hear from you. You can respond to this blog, or email me at louisa@louisalatela.com. You will soon be able to listen to the audio version of this blog at http://yourhighestgood.podomatic.com Wishing you many blessings, much abundance, and peace in your heart! Live in Love, Louisa

Often when we are trying to change a long standing behavior that no longer serves our Highest Good we are really hard on ourselves if we don't do it fast enough or "perfectly enough." We think that by giving ourselves a good stern lecture and punishing ourselves when we "mess up" we will be more likely to change. You say things like "That's the last piece of candy I'll ever eat...I need to exercise 10 hours today to make up for my messing up yesterday. I know better I should do better. I must be an idiot. I don't deserve to succeed for being so stupid. I'm disgusted with myself, etc." This actually helps to perpetuate the "messed up" behavior instead of diminishing it. When you are struggling to change a behavior of which you desperately want to be free (i.e. compulsive eating, chronic care-taking, gossiping, smoking, gambling, drinking, disorganization, etc), you need an emotional hug, not a beating. When you love yourself through the rough moments your heart softens, anxieties dissipate, and your struggle is transmuted into acceptance and growth. You give yourself the space and freedom to breathe and feel and be. It is from this place that you connect with your authentic self; the Divine. It is from this place that you receive the inspiration and guidance and make manifest your grandest dreams! Affirmations: I am perfect in this moment! I love myself unconditionally! I say only kind and loving things to and about myself! I always 'show up for me' when I am struggling to change... AND When I really 'show up for me' I no longer feel like I am "struggling"! Live in Love! Louisa

You say things like "That's the last piece of candy I'll ever eat...I need to exercise 10 hours today to make up for my messing up yesterday. I know better I should do better. I must be an idiot. I don't deserve to succeed for being so stupid. I'm disgusted with myself, etc." This actually helps to perpetuate the "messed up" behavior instead of diminishing it. When you are struggling to change a behavior of which you desperately want to be free (i.e. compulsive eating, chronic care-taking, gossiping, smoking, gambling, drinking, disorganization, etc), you need an emotional hug, not a beating. When you love yourself through the rough moments your heart softens, anxieties dissipate, and your struggle is transmuted into acceptance and growth. You give yourself the space and freedom to breathe and feel and be. It is from this place that you connect with your authentic self; the Divine. It is from this place that you receive the inspiration and guidance and make manifest your grandest dreams! Affirmations: I am perfect in this moment! I love myself unconditionally! I say only kind and loving things to and about myself! I always 'show up for me' when I am struggling to change... AND When I really 'show up for me' I no longer feel like I am "struggling"! Live in Love! Louisa

If you don’t trust your gut you won’t listen to your gut!! If you don’t trust and listen to your intuitive knowing (aka “gut feelings”) you can’t help but feel a little anxious. You KNOW when you are ignoring that small still voice within. You FEEL it. People often overeat as a way to distract themselves from the truth they are trying to ignore. Thus they disconnect from their body’s (i.e. gut’s) hunger and fullness signals. Think about it: If you have a choice between eating 2 donuts or an egg white veggie omelet for breakfast which will your intuitive knowing tell you to eat??? I bet it will tell you to eat the veggie omelet. However if you decide to eat the donuts instead, there will be a little sense of uneasiness in your body, a low level energy coursing through your veins. Even though you might try to justify your decision, the uneasiness is still there. This applies to every choice you make: Do I stay in this relationship or leave? Do I set a boundary here or not? Do I stay late and finish my work or leave early? Do I spend this money or not? etc., etc. Whenever you choose to not listen to your gut, you will feel uncomfortable on some level and overeating is a very effective way to soothe and ignore that discomfort. Practice listening to and acting on your intuitive hunches. If this is a new concept for you, start out with small things like trusting your gut when it comes to getting in the fastest moving line at the bank, or finding a great parking spot. In these instances your intuitive hunch is the very first feeling/thought/inclination that comes up when you pose a question. For instance your intuitive hunch might be to get in a longer line at the bank, something your rational mind would argue. But I challenge you to go with your gut. More times than not I bet you find that your intuitive hunch was right. Another easy way to better trust your instincts is to call or email a friend when the thought of them pops up in you mind. Whenever I do this I usually find that my friend was just thinking about me or that he or she needed my support at the exact time I reached out to him/her. This is great practice for learning to live your life in connection with your Higher Power, your Intuitive Knowing, which will always guide you to act in ways that are loving and respectful to yourself and others; that support your Highest Good. Know this: You have all the wisdom and knowledge you will ever need inside you. Practice accessing, listening to, and acting on its promptings. When you do this you might be surprised to notice that you experience a feeling of lightness and increased energy, a greater sense of well being, and a sense of things flowing easily and effortlessly! It is soooo cool to follow your instincts and see that they were right on even when they made no logical sense! Kinda makes your heart giggle!! AFFIRMATIONS I trust my gut! My intuition guides my every action! The more I listen to my intuition the louder it speaks! My gut rocks! Live in Love, Louisa

If you don’t trust and listen to your intuitive knowing (aka “gut feelings”) you can’t help but feel a little anxious. You KNOW when you are ignoring that small still voice within. You FEEL it. People often overeat as a way to distract themselves from the truth they are trying to ignore. Thus they disconnect from their body’s (i.e. gut’s) hunger and fullness signals. Think about it: If you have a choice between eating 2 donuts or an egg white veggie omelet for breakfast which will your intuitive knowing tell you to eat??? I bet it will tell you to eat the veggie omelet. However if you decide to eat the donuts instead, there will be a little sense of uneasiness in your body, a low level energy coursing through your veins. Even though you might try to justify your decision, the uneasiness is still there. This applies to every choice you make: Do I stay in this relationship or leave? Do I set a boundary here or not? Do I stay late and finish my work or leave early? Do I spend this money or not? etc., etc. Whenever you choose to not listen to your gut, you will feel uncomfortable on some level and overeating is a very effective way to soothe and ignore that discomfort. Practice listening to and acting on your intuitive hunches. If this is a new concept for you, start out with small things like trusting your gut when it comes to getting in the fastest moving line at the bank, or finding a great parking spot. In these instances your intuitive hunch is the very first feeling/thought/inclination that comes up when you pose a question. For instance your intuitive hunch might be to get in a longer line at the bank, something your rational mind would argue. But I challenge you to go with your gut. More times than not I bet you find that your intuitive hunch was right. Another easy way to better trust your instincts is to call or email a friend when the thought of them pops up in you mind. Whenever I do this I usually find that my friend was just thinking about me or that he or she needed my support at the exact time I reached out to him/her. This is great practice for learning to live your life in connection with your Higher Power, your Intuitive Knowing, which will always guide you to act in ways that are loving and respectful to yourself and others; that support your Highest Good. Know this: You have all the wisdom and knowledge you will ever need inside you. Practice accessing, listening to, and acting on its promptings. When you do this you might be surprised to notice that you experience a feeling of lightness and increased energy, a greater sense of well being, and a sense of things flowing easily and effortlessly! It is soooo cool to follow your instincts and see that they were right on even when they made no logical sense! Kinda makes your heart giggle!! AFFIRMATIONS I trust my gut! My intuition guides my every action! The more I listen to my intuition the louder it speaks! My gut rocks! Live in Love, Louisa

LET GO!! Letting Go doesn't mean you give up. Letting Go doesn't mean you don't care. Letting Go simply means you relinquish your struggle to force things to happen a certain way. You release your struggle to make people behave the way you want them to (even if you really believe your way is the right way, it is only the right way for you). Letting Go means you begin to accept people and situations as they are. Letting Go means having the courage to give up your idea of what you thought your life was supposed to be and embrace your life as it is. In Letting Go you begin to look at the world through kind and compassionate eyes. You shift from living in the energy of judgement, fear, and frustration to living in the energy of unconditional love and acceptance. When you Let Go of trying to control things that you cannot, you free yourself to control the one thing you can: YOU. In Letting Go you give yourself the gift of finally being able to show up for YOU! Affirmations: In releasing my need to control I set myself free! The only thing I can control are my thoughts, feelings, and actions... Wow, that means I get to control how I experience my life!! AWESOME! When I stop trying to control others, I actually have the time and energy to take care of me! Live in love, Louisa www.liveyourhighestgood.com www.louisalatela.com 856.429.9799

When you release your need to control the actions and moods of others you free yourself to actually show up for you! LET GO!! Letting Go doesn't mean you give up. Letting Go doesn't mean you don't care. Letting Go simply means you relinquish your struggle to force things to happen a certain way. You release your struggle to make people behave the way you want them to (even if you really believe your way is the right way, it is only the right way for you). Letting Go means you begin to accept people and situations as they are. Letting Go means having the courage to give up your idea of what you thought your life was supposed to be and embrace your life as it is. In Letting Go you begin to look at the world through kind and compassionate eyes. You shift from living in the energy of judgement, fear, and frustration to living in the energy of unconditional love and acceptance. When you Let Go of trying to control things that you cannot, you free yourself to control the one thing you can: YOU. In Letting Go you give yourself the gift of finally being able to show up for YOU! Affirmations: In releasing my need to control I set myself free! The only thing I can control are my thoughts, feelings, and actions... Wow, that means I get to control how I experience my life!! AWESOME! When I stop trying to control others, I actually have the time and energy to take care of me! Live in love, Louisa www.liveyourhighestgood.com www.louisalatela.com 856.429.9799

Appreciate Your Body! Spend some time this week remembering what a miracle your body really is. It is through your body that you experience your life. It is through your body that you get to smell the roses, play with children, taste great food, connect with friends and family, learn new things, work, play, listen to beautiful music, sing, dance, cry, celebrate, make love, create, read, etc., etc., etc... Thank your body for being there for you. Remember that no matter what toxins you've put in your body or how much you stuffed it, starved it, exercised it or not, it keeps showing up for you every day. No matter how unkindly you've spoken to or about your body it has never left you. The next time you take a shower try this: As you wash each part of your body bless it and send it love. Speak to your body as if you were speaking to a child or friend whom you love unconditionally. Bless and love your head, your eyes, your ears, your nose, your mouth, your chin, your neck, your shoulders, your arms, and your hands. Bless and love your back, your chest, your abdomen, your hips, your genitals, your thighs, your calves, your ankles and your feet. Bless and love your all your internal organs including your heart, your lungs, your liver and your kidneys. If you have what you believe to be excess fat on your body love it and bless it. Thank it for having been there for you. Know that you created it to serve as a protective shield for you to keep you centered, grounded and safe. Now visualize yourself standing before a gateway on a beautiful hill or on the crest of a wave. Your entire life lies behind you and below you. See that every experience of your past is tied to you by silver and golden threads. Pause and review these experiences... all the joys and all the sorrows... all the adventures it took to bring you to this point... remember all your struggles with your body and your weight. Observe it all, bless it all, thank it all...especially the struggles. Now untie the threads attaching you to the past, and with all the love you can muster, let your excess weight know that it is safe for it to go now. Tell it that you are releasing it with love and gratitude, and you are now ready to learn new ways to love and nurture yourself. Release it all and bless it all. In releasing your attachment to the past, you claim your power in the present. Step through the gateway now!! Make a vow that from this moment on you will treat your body with love and respect, and that you will speak only kind and loving words to and about your body! Affirmations: I am in awe of the miracle that is my body! I love and respect my body! My body is amazing! I speak only kind and loving words to and about my body! My body rocks! Live in Love, Louisa www.liveyourhighestgood.com www.louisalatela.com 856.429.9799

It is through your body that you experience your life. It is through your body that you get to smell the roses, play with children, taste great food, connect with friends and family, learn new things, work, play, listen to beautiful music, sing, dance, cry, celebrate, make love, create, read, etc., etc., etc... Thank your body for being there for you. Remember that no matter what toxins you've put in your body or how much you stuffed it, starved it, exercised it or not, it keeps showing up for you every day. No matter how unkindly you've spoken to or about your body it has never left you. The next time you take a shower try this: As you wash each part of your body bless it and send it love. Speak to your body as if you were speaking to a child or friend whom you love unconditionally. Bless and love your head, your eyes, your ears, your nose, your mouth, your chin, your neck, your shoulders, your arms, and your hands. Bless and love your back, your chest, your abdomen, your hips, your genitals, your thighs, your calves, your ankles and your feet. Bless and love your all your internal organs including your heart, your lungs, your liver and your kidneys. If you have what you believe to be excess fat on your body love it and bless it. Thank it for having been there for you. Know that you created it to serve as a protective shield for you to keep you centered, grounded and safe. Now visualize yourself standing before a gateway on a beautiful hill or on the crest of a wave. Your entire life lies behind you and below you. See that every experience of your past is tied to you by silver and golden threads. Pause and review these experiences... all the joys and all the sorrows... all the adventures it took to bring you to this point... remember all your struggles with your body and your weight. Observe it all, bless it all, thank it all...especially the struggles. Now untie the threads attaching you to the past, and with all the love you can muster, let your excess weight know that it is safe for it to go now. Tell it that you are releasing it with love and gratitude, and you are now ready to learn new ways to love and nurture yourself. Release it all and bless it all. In releasing your attachment to the past, you claim your power in the present. Step through the gateway now!! Make a vow that from this moment on you will treat your body with love and respect, and that you will speak only kind and loving words to and about your body! Affirmations: I am in awe of the miracle that is my body! I love and respect my body! My body is amazing! I speak only kind and loving words to and about my body! My body rocks! Live in Love, Louisa www.liveyourhighestgood.com www.louisalatela.com 856.429.9799

I’d like to begin this article by emphasizing that not everyone who is in therapy or working to maintain long term weight loss must revisit their childhood in order to move forward. However if you feel guided to explore your past, the intention behind the exploration should be solution-focused and approached with a sense of self-compassion and curiosity. The purpose is not to re-victimize, place blame, or get stuck in re-telling old stories, but rather to help you understand how your reaction to past experiences may be contributing to your present-day struggle with food, weight, and negative self-regard. Once armed with this knowledge you can then respond to your world differently. I have clients who absolutely know when they are eating in response to feelings other than physical hunger. They know when they are eating because they are stressed, or bored, or lonely, or as a way to celebrate with friends. They are very conscious of how different foods affect them physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They know which foods give them good healthy energy and which ones deplete them of that very energy. They understand the concept that every food they eat has a consequence that will bring them closer to living the life of their dreams–or not! Yet, they consciously continue to overeat and often choose to eat foods that, in time, will rob them of good health and vitality, the very thing they desperately desire. This often leads to feelings of self-hatred, shame, anger, and frustration. And yet it is at this time that they need more self-love, compassion, and understanding; not self-denigration. It is apparent that while they have come to know the role that compulsive eating has played in their lives, they do not yet understand the source of their uncomfortable feelings, nor do they know how to effectively manage, tolerate, or process those feelings. On some level they are fearful of being their Truth. It is at this point when their journey to recovery often leads to exploring the past and discovering clues for creating a joy-filled future—one that is free of negative self-chatter and struggle with food and weight issues. As part of this journey, many clients discover that they learned to ignore the voice of their inner wisdom at a very young age They sometimes find it helpful, then, to investigate the concept of healing their inner child. In this context I am using the term Inner Child to describe that part of you which is alive, energetic, intuitive, passionate, creative, and playful. It is the part of you that feels and expresses your deepest need for security and nurturing. It is also the part that carries the pain of unresolved past emotional traumas. It is the place where guilt, anxiety, shame, and fear reside. Your inner child is the part of you that knows your Truth. If you find it unsafe to be your Authentic Self, to be your Truth, chances are you disconnected from your inner child. You may have even learned to deny her existence. This makes for a very conflicted, frustrated, and fearful inner child, who can make you—the adult—feel unsettled, anxious, or depressed. In an effort to ignore her cries to be heard, it would make sense that you find ways like overeating, drinking, gossiping, keeping your life in a state of chaos, chronic care-taking, overworking, etc. to distract you from the uncomfortable feelings associated with denying her existence. There are several ways to reacquaint yourself with your Inner Child if you feel so inclined. **Please be advised: if you have a history of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse it is important that you only do the following exercise with the guidance and support of a well seasoned therapist as it can trigger flashbacks and uncomfortable memories. One way is to gather pictures from each phase of your life, starting with infancy. Set aside a few hours to go through these pictures. Choose a time when you are most likely to be present and relaxed and not feel pressured or hurried. Take a few deep cleansing breaths as you begin this journey down memory lane. Consciously set an intention to view your pictures through the eyes of love, kindness, curiosity, and compassion. Be mindful of your initial gut feelings as you look at each picture. Do you seem happy or sad, posed or free-spirited? What kind of child were you: obedient, wild, silly, sad, serious, responsible? How was life at home at the time the picture was taken? Did everyone get along? Did you have lots of friends? Were you in school? Did you have any hobbies? Notice any fluctuations in your weight as you review your life through the pictures. Are there correlations between your weight fluctuations and significant events in your life? If there are other behaviors you would like to change—like over working, difficulty setting boundaries, people pleasing, avoidance of conflict at all costs--can you discern from the pictures when you adopted that behavior? Can you understand how that behavior may have served to protect you as you were growing up? What are some other observations you can make? Take some time to write about your observations. How did it feel to revisit your childhood? Were there things as a young child that you needed but never received? How did you learn to silence your inner knowing? How were you taught to express feelings? Choose a picture of you as a child. It should be a picture that speaks to you. Look into that child’s eyes. Feel what she needs. Tell her what she needs to hear to feel loved, to feel safe, to feel wanted, to feel validated, to feel heard, to feel like she matters, to feel important. Let her know that she no longer has any reason to be frightened, or sad, or lonely because you, the adult, are there to love and protect her and will never again leave her side. Keep her picture in a place where you can easily see it. Now, from this moment on, know that every word you say to and about yourself is a word that you are saying to and about that child. And every action you take will either honor and protect that child or not! Please think about keeping your word to that little child. She really deserves it!! I recently asked one of my clients what she would have thought if someone had told her a year ago that she’d be doing inner child work. She was quite passionate in her response: “No way, there was absolutely no reason why I would want to relive my childhood; unless I could be re-born a different child. I was very happy to keep that little inner child tucked away in a box, far away in the back of a closet. I didn’t want to see that little girl and I did everything I could to forget she even existed. She was hurt, traumatized, afraid, alone, and I don’t want to remember her, know her, and definitely not embrace her. The past is over and done. No, you have to be out of your mind to think I would want to bring her down and embrace her. Inner Child work, not on your life! You must be out of your mind!” Needless to say my client is in the throes of “healing the child within”. .......

"The closer we get to uncovering ourselves, the more difficult it becomes to face the truth. Sooner or later we stop running, out of sheer exhaustion and desperation, and turn around to face our image. The pain that we go through during this revelation is negligible compared to the State of Grace that we enter into when we have finally moved on." Christiane Northrup I’d like to begin this article by emphasizing that not everyone who is in therapy or working to maintain long term weight loss must revisit their childhood in order to move forward. However if you feel guided to explore your past, the intention behind the exploration should be solution-focused and approached with a sense of self-compassion and curiosity. The purpose is not to re-victimize, place blame, or get stuck in re-telling old stories, but rather to help you understand how your reaction to past experiences may be contributing to your present-day struggle with food, weight, and negative self-regard. Once armed with this knowledge you can then respond to your world differently. I have clients who absolutely know when they are eating in response to feelings other than physical hunger. They know when they are eating because they are stressed, or bored, or lonely, or as a way to celebrate with friends. They are very conscious of how different foods affect them physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. They know which foods give them good healthy energy and which ones deplete them of that very energy. They understand the concept that every food they eat has a consequence that will bring them closer to living the life of their dreams–or not! Yet, they consciously continue to overeat and often choose to eat foods that, in time, will rob them of good health and vitality, the very thing they desperately desire. This often leads to feelings of self-hatred, shame, anger, and frustration. And yet it is at this time that they need more self-love, compassion, and understanding; not self-denigration. It is apparent that while they have come to know the role that compulsive eating has played in their lives, they do not yet understand the source of their uncomfortable feelings, nor do they know how to effectively manage, tolerate, or process those feelings. On some level they are fearful of being their Truth. It is at this point when their journey to recovery often leads to exploring the past and discovering clues for creating a joy-filled future—one that is free of negative self-chatter and struggle with food and weight issues. As part of this journey, many clients discover that they learned to ignore the voice of their inner wisdom at a very young age They sometimes find it helpful, then, to investigate the concept of healing their inner child. In this context I am using the term Inner Child to describe that part of you which is alive, energetic, intuitive, passionate, creative, and playful. It is the part of you that feels and expresses your deepest need for security and nurturing. It is also the part that carries the pain of unresolved past emotional traumas. It is the place where guilt, anxiety, shame, and fear reside. Your inner child is the part of you that knows your Truth. If you find it unsafe to be your Authentic Self, to be your Truth, chances are you disconnected from your inner child. You may have even learned to deny her existence. This makes for a very conflicted, frustrated, and fearful inner child, who can make you—the adult—feel unsettled, anxious, or depressed. In an effort to ignore her cries to be heard, it would make sense that you find ways like overeating, drinking, gossiping, keeping your life in a state of chaos, chronic care-taking, overworking, etc. to distract you from the uncomfortable feelings associated with denying her existence. There are several ways to reacquaint yourself with your Inner Child if you feel so inclined. **Please be advised: if you have a history of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse it is important that you only do the following exercise with the guidance and support of a well seasoned therapist as it can trigger flashbacks and uncomfortable memories. One way is to gather pictures from each phase of your life, starting with infancy. Set aside a few hours to go through these pictures. Choose a time when you are most likely to be present and relaxed and not feel pressured or hurried. Take a few deep cleansing breaths as you begin this journey down memory lane. Consciously set an intention to view your pictures through the eyes of love, kindness, curiosity, and compassion. Be mindful of your initial gut feelings as you look at each picture. Do you seem happy or sad, posed or free-spirited? What kind of child were you: obedient, wild, silly, sad, serious, responsible? How was life at home at the time the picture was taken? Did everyone get along? Did you have lots of friends? Were you in school? Did you have any hobbies? Notice any fluctuations in your weight as you review your life through the pictures. Are there correlations between your weight fluctuations and significant events in your life? If there are other behaviors you would like to change—like over working, difficulty setting boundaries, people pleasing, avoidance of conflict at all costs--can you discern from the pictures when you adopted that behavior? Can you understand how that behavior may have served to protect you as you were growing up? What are some other observations you can make? Take some time to write about your observations. How did it feel to revisit your childhood? Were there things as a young child that you needed but never received? How did you learn to silence your inner knowing? How were you taught to express feelings? Choose a picture of you as a child. It should be a picture that speaks to you. Look into that child’s eyes. Feel what she needs. Tell her what she needs to hear to feel loved, to feel safe, to feel wanted, to feel validated, to feel heard, to feel like she matters, to feel important. Let her know that she no longer has any reason to be frightened, or sad, or lonely because you, the adult, are there to love and protect her and will never again leave her side. Keep her picture in a place where you can easily see it. Now, from this moment on, know that every word you say to and about yourself is a word that you are saying to and about that child. And every action you take will either honor and protect that child or not! Please think about keeping your word to that little child. She really deserves it!! I recently asked one of my clients what she would have thought if someone had told her a year ago that she’d be doing inner child work. She was quite passionate in her response: “No way, there was absolutely no reason why I would want to relive my childhood; unless I could be re-born a different child. I was very happy to keep that little inner child tucked away in a box, far away in the back of a closet. I didn’t want to see that little girl and I did everything I could to forget she even existed. She was hurt, traumatized, afraid, alone, and I don’t want to remember her, know her, and definitely not embrace her. The past is over and done. No, you have to be out of your mind to think I would want to bring her down and embrace her. Inner Child work, not on your life! You must be out of your mind!” Needless to say my client is in the throes of “healing the child within”. .......

Know this: If you stop and listen to yourself... I mean really listen... you will always know how to act in a way that honors your Highest Good. You will always know the next right thing to do! (Isn’t that coooool? You already have all the answers inside you... It really is exciting if you think about it!) I believe we are all born these perfect little psychic bundles of love. As infants, if we’re happy we laugh, sad we cry, hungry we eat, full we stop eating. We are our Truth in every moment and have no fear about expressing who we are or how we feel. In fact, we don’t know how not to take care of ourselves. It doesn’t occur to us to not ask, or for that matter demand, that our needs be met. But soon after our birth, we begin receiving millions of messages that it is not okay or safe to express our Truth, to follow the natural flow of our Soul’s Wisdom, to ask for what we need. These messages come in the form of statements like— “Ooohh, stop crying!” “That didn’t hurt.” “Big boys don’t cry!” “Children should be seen but not heard.” “That was a stupid thing to say.” “I don’t care what you want to do; you need to do what I tell you to do.” “Never let other people know that our family is not perfect” “You can’t possibly be hungry now.” Or maybe the messages took on a physical form and you were beaten when you expressed a feeling or spoke out of line, or even for no apparent reason. Over time after being bombarded with messages like these, even though many of them may have been said with the best of intentions, you stop looking inward for guidance; you learn to silence your sacred voice of wisdom. Then one day someone comes along and asks you, “What color is the sky?” And you think, “Well, I think it’s blue, but I don’t know if what I think or feel about the sky is right because the other day I heard my parents arguing and I asked Mommy what was wrong and she told me that nothing was wrong, everything was just fine... but it didn’t feel fine to me, it felt like my parents were really angry, like something wasn’t right with them... but Mommy who is the expert about life said everything was “OK”... so something must be wrong with the way I think or perceive things... so maybe the sky is really purple or green... Ahhhh I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do... I think it is blue, but I am not sure if that really is the right answer, or if it is the answer they want... “I just wish I knew what they wanted me to say.” This thought process is the beginning of you disconnecting from your inner voice, your Divine Wisdom. This is where you get lost. When you are unable to say your Truth, or live from Source Energy, you will inevitably notice some emotional and/or physical discomfort which typically manifests as anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, nausea, exhaustion, sleeplessness, chronic headaches, joint pain, or intestinal distress. In order to calm down those feelings you may have learned to turn to things outside of yourself for comfort like food, drugs, alcohol, people pleasing, shopping, or compulsive work. Well, it’s time for you to come home to Yourself!! Before you can change a behavior you have to be aware that it exists. Below I have listed signs of "disconnection." Indications of Disconnection from Your Authentic Self * You worry about what other people think of you. * You over/under eat, smoke, drink a little too much, or depend on prescription medications more than you would like to get through a day. * You are always the peace maker. * You find it difficult to say “no” to people or set boundaries. * You are the “life of the party” to your family and friends, but secretly feel stressed and depressed. * You seemingly “have it all” but still feel an uncomfortable emptiness, like something is just missing from your life. * You feel disappointed with the way your life has turned out so far. * You are regretful about things that happened in your past. * You are afraid to make changes in your life. * You feel responsible for the happiness of others. * You spend most of your day tending to the needs of others. * Your days are so busy that you find yourself being really forgetful and making silly mistakes. * Your mood is dependent upon the mood or actions of others. * You worry a lot. * You gossip. * You have an underlying feeling of unworthiness. * You are in an abusive relationship (you may be the abuser or the abused). * Your self worth is determined by the “things you have”, the money you make, the number on the scale, the position you hold at your job, or the success of your children or spouse * You avoid disagreements at all costs... or * You argue all the time. * You are uncomfortable with silence. * You feel like you are always “putting out fires” or living in constant chaos. * You feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around significant people in your life. * You are afraid to speak up for yourself. * You often feel anxious, depressed, angry, or sad. * You have a low tolerance for or feel very judgmental of people who have opinions or values that differ from yours. * You feel like you always have to defend or explain yourself. * You have difficulty accepting compliments. * It is very difficult for you to look in a mirror, directly into your eyes, and say, “I love you! You are the most important person in the world to me and I am going to take good care of you!’” ____ _______________________________________________________ Notice if there is a time this week when you act from a place of disconnection, when you choose to not listen to your Intuition. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to ignore your Inner Voice. Take some time to reflect on how you may have learned to disconnect from your Authentic Self. Also, notice a specific time this week when you did listen and respond in accordance with your Intuition, when you felt like you were being your True Self. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to “Be Your Truth.” How was your experience different when you acted from a “place of disconnect” versus when you acted in accordance with your Inner Wisdom or Truth?

Know this: If you stop and listen to yourself... I mean really listen... you will always know how to act in a way that honors your Highest Good. You will always know the next right thing to do! (Isn’t that coooool? You already have all the answers inside you... It really is exciting if you think about it!) I believe we are all born these perfect little psychic bundles of love. As infants, if we’re happy we laugh, sad we cry, hungry we eat, full we stop eating. We are our Truth in every moment and have no fear about expressing who we are or how we feel. In fact, we don’t know how not to take care of ourselves. It doesn’t occur to us to not ask, or for that matter demand, that our needs be met. But soon after our birth, we begin receiving millions of messages that it is not okay or safe to express our Truth, to follow the natural flow of our Soul’s Wisdom, to ask for what we need. These messages come in the form of statements like— “Ooohh, stop crying!” “That didn’t hurt.” “Big boys don’t cry!” “Children should be seen but not heard.” “That was a stupid thing to say.” “I don’t care what you want to do; you need to do what I tell you to do.” “Never let other people know that our family is not perfect” “You can’t possibly be hungry now.” Or maybe the messages took on a physical form and you were beaten when you expressed a feeling or spoke out of line, or even for no apparent reason. Over time after being bombarded with messages like these, even though many of them may have been said with the best of intentions, you stop looking inward for guidance; you learn to silence your sacred voice of wisdom. Then one day someone comes along and asks you, “What color is the sky?” And you think, “Well, I think it’s blue, but I don’t know if what I think or feel about the sky is right because the other day I heard my parents arguing and I asked Mommy what was wrong and she told me that nothing was wrong, everything was just fine... but it didn’t feel fine to me, it felt like my parents were really angry, like something wasn’t right with them... but Mommy who is the expert about life said everything was “OK”... so something must be wrong with the way I think or perceive things... so maybe the sky is really purple or green... Ahhhh I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to do... I think it is blue, but I am not sure if that really is the right answer, or if it is the answer they want... “I just wish I knew what they wanted me to say.” This thought process is the beginning of you disconnecting from your inner voice, your Divine Wisdom. This is where you get lost. When you are unable to say your Truth, or live from Source Energy, you will inevitably notice some emotional and/or physical discomfort which typically manifests as anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, nausea, exhaustion, sleeplessness, chronic headaches, joint pain, or intestinal distress. In order to calm down those feelings you may have learned to turn to things outside of yourself for comfort like food, drugs, alcohol, people pleasing, shopping, or compulsive work. Well, it’s time for you to come home to Yourself!! Before you can change a behavior you have to be aware that it exists. Below I have listed signs of "disconnection." Indications of Disconnection from Your Authentic Self * You worry about what other people think of you. * You over/under eat, smoke, drink a little too much, or depend on prescription medications more than you would like to get through a day. * You are always the peace maker. * You find it difficult to say “no” to people or set boundaries. * You are the “life of the party” to your family and friends, but secretly feel stressed and depressed. * You seemingly “have it all” but still feel an uncomfortable emptiness, like something is just missing from your life. * You feel disappointed with the way your life has turned out so far. * You are regretful about things that happened in your past. * You are afraid to make changes in your life. * You feel responsible for the happiness of others. * You spend most of your day tending to the needs of others. * Your days are so busy that you find yourself being really forgetful and making silly mistakes. * Your mood is dependent upon the mood or actions of others. * You worry a lot. * You gossip. * You have an underlying feeling of unworthiness. * You are in an abusive relationship (you may be the abuser or the abused). * Your self worth is determined by the “things you have”, the money you make, the number on the scale, the position you hold at your job, or the success of your children or spouse * You avoid disagreements at all costs... or * You argue all the time. * You are uncomfortable with silence. * You feel like you are always “putting out fires” or living in constant chaos. * You feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around significant people in your life. * You are afraid to speak up for yourself. * You often feel anxious, depressed, angry, or sad. * You have a low tolerance for or feel very judgmental of people who have opinions or values that differ from yours. * You feel like you always have to defend or explain yourself. * You have difficulty accepting compliments. * It is very difficult for you to look in a mirror, directly into your eyes, and say, “I love you! You are the most important person in the world to me and I am going to take good care of you!’” ____ _______________________________________________________ Notice if there is a time this week when you act from a place of disconnection, when you choose to not listen to your Intuition. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to ignore your Inner Voice. Take some time to reflect on how you may have learned to disconnect from your Authentic Self. Also, notice a specific time this week when you did listen and respond in accordance with your Intuition, when you felt like you were being your True Self. Write about the situation, how it turned out, and how it felt to “Be Your Truth.” How was your experience different when you acted from a “place of disconnect” versus when you acted in accordance with your Inner Wisdom or Truth?

In part 1 of this article I suggested that if you’ve tried every diet and every logical approach to weight loss and are still battling with food and weight you might want to explore approaching the issue from a spiritual perspective. Here’s an excerpt: “Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you fall by the way side.” Louisa Latela Food Addiction Part II In part 1 of this article I suggested that if you’ve tried every diet and every logical approach to weight loss and are still battling with food and weight you might want to explore approaching the issue from a spiritual perspective. Here’s an excerpt: “Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you fall by the way side.” Louisa Latela Allow me to expand on what I mean by Spiritual in the context of this article. Spiritual is not religious or connected with any particular dogma, higher power or deity. Spiritual does not require doing, but rather “being.” It is grounded in a knowing that your authentic true self at your core is love. It is about living in the energy of love, it is about being love. When I talk of living a spiritual life I am talking about living from the inside out. In other words connecting with your inner knowing and making decisions based on the guidance you receive from within vs. from what society says you should do. When you live a spiritual life you shift from living in the energy of fear to living in the energy of awe and acceptance. You relinquish your need for control and approval and relax into a knowing that everything is perfect: that you are perfect in this very moment exactly as you are. You know that whatever you need to know you will know when it is time to do it. You shift from the energy of resisting that which you do not want to allowing your most joy-filled life to manifest. Anita Moorjani shares the lessons she learned during her 2006 near death experience (NDE) in her book “Dying to be Me”. She had cancer for four years, her body was shutting down. As the doctors were telling her family she would not make it through the night she was having an NDE. She made the decision to come back to this life. Within weeks she was discharged from the hospital cancer free! To make a long story short she came to know that her cancer was a physical manifestation of fear: ultimately the fear of being her authentic self. “What was I afraid of? Just about everything, including failing, being disliked, letting people down, and not being good enough. I also feared illness, cancer in particular, as well as the treatment for cancer. I was afraid of living, and I was terrified of dying.” ~~ I’d spent a lifetime judging myself, beating myself up for not meeting these expectations. I always felt inadequate, but following my NDE I understood that these were a false set of socially determined standards, I also used to believe that I wasn’t spiritual enough. Then I discovered that we’re all spiritual regardless of what we do or believe. We can’t be anything else because that is who we are-spiritual beings, we just don’t always realize it. My healing wasn’t so much born from a shift in my state of mind or beliefs as it was from finally allowing my true spirit to shine through." While Anita’s disconnection from her authentic self manifested as cancer in her body, for others it may manifest as obesity, heart disease, diabetes, anorexia, arthritis, etc. For anita moorjani her recovery was immediate. Choosing to live a spiritual life and healing your issues with food body and weight can be immediate, but for most it is a process and takes some time. Many people reject the spiritual approach for exactly this reason: because it is not a quick fix. There is not a prescribed amount of time that it will take to have the body you want. It does not come with a guarantee that you will lose 20 pounds in 10 days or your money back. But what is guaranteed is that if you make a commitment to be willing to love you, and I mean love you unconditionally, to live an “authentic life”, that in time you will make peace with your body and food. You must know this: the only reason any of us does anything is that on some level we think it will make us feel better. We just want to feel good. At our core what we yearn for is love: but all too often we end up looking for love in all the wrong places. We look to other people places and things to make us feel good; to know love. If we would just be still and connect with our center, our core, we would know that all we yearn for is right inside of us and always has been. We are love and the love we are looking for is our own. We yearn for the freedom that comes from non-judgmental self-acceptance to be our authentic self. Marianne Williamson writes: “Spiritually your wanting to lose weight is not a desire to become less of yourself, but rather a desire to become more of your true self… Every moment of unconscious eating is a moment when you are starving from a lack of healthy self-love and struggling to find it elsewhere” So how do you make that happen you might ask? Well you must start by making a commitment to living consciously. You notice when you say or do things that are unkind to yourself. You start to pay attention to your feelings. They are the guide that will lead you home to yourself. You make a commitment to say and do only those things that feel right in your heart, in your soul. You set an intention to say only kind and loving things to and about yourself. You seek to release harsh self judgment and embrace a willingness to learn to accept and love yourself unconditionally. You start to contemplate the idea: What if I really was okay just the way I am? What if it didn’t matter what anyone else thought of me? What if I could really trust myself? How would my life be different if I did love and accept myself unconditionally? What if I allowed myself to relax and just be? You will know if you are living from your authentic self if your actions are grounded in the energy of joy and happiness. If you take an action and it is motivated by fear, greed, sadness, anger, anxiety, you are not connected to your source. This is not to say that you should deny uncomfortable feelings. Rather than denying or pretending they do not exist, I suggest that you embrace them, breathe into them, do not judge them. Ask what you are meant to learn from them. Ask for the insight to see differently whatever it is that triggered your discomfort. If you hang in there long enough you will have a change of heart; the feelings will pass and you will be able to feel peace where there was once turmoil. I want to be clear that it is not necessary that you live a spiritual life in order to be at peace with your body and food. I am just suggesting that if you’ve “tried everything else" you might want to give this a shot…. Spend some time contemplating the questions posed in this article. In my next article I will list signs that indicate you are disconnected from your authentic self . Live in Love, Louisa

Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life: Soulful Living Food Addiction Part 1 ​(Part 1 of this article originally appeared in the WLS Lifestyles Magazine in my Soulful Living Column) Louisa Latela, LCSW, LCADC Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life: Physical Health: Are you overweight? Do you have heart disease, diabetes, shortness of breath, sleep apnea, decreased energy, or chronic joint pain? Are there other ways that your weight and food consumption affect you physically? Emotional Health: Do you harshly judge yourself; feel shame, guilt, anger or self-hatred in relation to your weight or what you eat? Do you experience periods of depression because of your inability to control your eating behavior? Do you ever feel anxious if you do not have certain foods available to you? Finances: How much money do you spend on food that you use for bingeing, overeating, or avoiding uncomfortable feelings? How much money have you spent on diet books, diet supplements, diet foods, consultations with weight loss professionals, and seldom used exercise equipment and gym memberships? Do you miss time at work because of health problems related to how you eat? Do you believe your weight prevents you from getting a promotion or new job? Are there times that you are not as productive at your job because of how you feel (emotionally or physically) in relation to what you did or did not eat? Relationships: Do you use your weight as an excuse to avoid relationships? Or, conversely, have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship because you believed no one else would want someone your size? Are people in your life inconvenienced by your food related emotional or physical problems? When you eat foods that zap your energy or make you feel ill, are you sometimes nasty, short, or cranky with family, friends, or co-workers? Sexual Experiences: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from having a satisfying sex life? Mental Clarity: Do you ever feel a bit dull or foggy in the brain because of the quantity or quality of food you eat? Activities: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from engaging in healthy, fun activities like hiking, bike riding, swimming, dancing, or playing with your children? Are simple activities of daily living like putting on your socks and shoes becoming increasingly difficult? Do you avoid certain social situations because you don’t want to be seen at your current weight or because you are afraid you will overeat? Time: How much time do you spend thinking about food or weight issues? How old were you when you first thought you had a problem with food or weight? How many years have you been dealing with this? How many precious moments of your life have you lost to your preoccupation with food and weight? The purpose of answering the preceding questions is to not elicit feelings of self-blame or harsh self-judgment but rather to increase your awareness of how your current weight and eating behaviors may be preventing you from living a normal, productive life. Understanding that what you eat affects your every physical, emotional, and mental experience can serve to increase your motivation to cultivate a healthy relationship with food. If you are still riding the yo-yo dieting roller coaster you may have an addictive relationship with food. Addiction, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary, is “the persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful”. Sound familiar? Studies have shown that compulsive overeating and drug addiction share many of the same biological characteristics. For instance, when people eat large quantities of sugar and fat they develop a tolerance for these substances and need more sugar and fat to satisfy them, much like alcoholics and drug addicts who, over time, require increased amounts of alcohol and drugs to get high. Other research has revealed that many obese people and drug addicts have a lower number of dopamine receptors (the feel good receptors) in their brains which make them more likely to crave things that boost dopamine like sugar, alcohol, cocaine or heroin. Also when some people are suddenly cut off from sugar and certain carbohydrates they experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety, depression, irritability and strong cravings for the substance from which they are cut off, just like alcoholics and drug addicts do when they are detoxifying from alcohol or drugs. However; neither acknowledging the depth to which your relationship with food is negatively affecting your life nor understanding the biology of addiction will in and of itself cure your obsession or right your relationship with food. You may be thinking “Well I know how to eat well and what I need to do to lose weight.” Do you really? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. How many times have you gone on a diet proclaiming “This is it! I will never again be overweight! My eating behaviors have forever changed!!” only to find yourself starting a new diet the following Monday morning? Three, four, five or more times? Sounds like insanity to me! You may know how to diet and temporarily lose weight, but you have not made the internal psychological and emotional shifts necessary to sustain a healthy relationship with food and permanent weight loss. Moving from the insanity of a food and weight obsessed life to the serenity that a loving and respectful relationship with food affords you requires the willingness to consider a new way of thinking and being in the world. For many it requires learning to live a spiritual life. Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you will fall by the way side. On page 15 of “A Course in Weight Loss” Marianne Williamson writes: “Spiritual growth is a fascinating process if you allow it to be. It is an inner journey from one insight to another, in which helpful realizations fall into place as you are ready to receive them. Twisted thoughts become untwisted once you see them for what they are. Your journey from blindness to spiritual vision precedes your journey from dysfunctional eating to a healthy and wholesome relationship to food; in fact it is a necessary prerequisite for it. As you understand more deeply the roots of your weakness you lay the foundation for the cultivation of new strengths.” To be continued.....

Loveit2012, If you are truly physically hungry it may serve you well to meet with a bariatric nutritionist who can review your meal plan and make suggestions as to how you might alter it so as to minimize your hunger. If you follow the post surgery eating guidelines and are still physically hungry you may want to have a consult with your surgeon. However if you find that you are not actually physically hungry, but just feel an "emptiness inside" therein lies emotional hunger. I would encourage you to give yourself the time and space to contemplate the question "What am I truly hungry for?" grounded in the energy of compassion and curiosity. If you make it a point to spend time each day to connect with you inner knowing, you will come to know what it is your heart/soul is truly longing for….i.e. what kind of nurturing you are really craving… and remember to be loving and kind and patient with you…

Soulful Living Food Addiction Part 1 ​(Part 1 of this article originally appeared in the WLS Lifestyles Magazine in my Soulful Living Column) Louisa Latela, LCSW, LCADC Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life: Physical Health: Are you overweight? Do you have heart disease, diabetes, shortness of breath, sleep apnea, decreased energy, or chronic joint pain? Are there other ways that your weight and food consumption affect you physically? Emotional Health: Do you harshly judge yourself; feel shame, guilt, anger or self-hatred in relation to your weight or what you eat? Do you experience periods of depression because of your inability to control your eating behavior? Do you ever feel anxious if you do not have certain foods available to you? Finances: How much money do you spend on food that you use for bingeing, overeating, or avoiding uncomfortable feelings? How much money have you spent on diet books, diet supplements, diet foods, consultations with weight loss professionals, and seldom used exercise equipment and gym memberships? Do you miss time at work because of health problems related to how you eat? Do you believe your weight prevents you from getting a promotion or new job? Are there times that you are not as productive at your job because of how you feel (emotionally or physically) in relation to what you did or did not eat? Relationships: Do you use your weight as an excuse to avoid relationships? Or, conversely, have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship because you believed no one else would want someone your size? Are people in your life inconvenienced by your food related emotional or physical problems? When you eat foods that zap your energy or make you feel ill, are you sometimes nasty, short, or cranky with family, friends, or co-workers? Sexual Experiences: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from having a satisfying sex life? Mental Clarity: Do you ever feel a bit dull or foggy in the brain because of the quantity or quality of food you eat? Activities: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from engaging in healthy, fun activities like hiking, bike riding, swimming, dancing, or playing with your children? Are simple activities of daily living like putting on your socks and shoes becoming increasingly difficult? Do you avoid certain social situations because you don’t want to be seen at your current weight or because you are afraid you will overeat? Time: How much time do you spend thinking about food or weight issues? How old were you when you first thought you had a problem with food or weight? How many years have you been dealing with this? How many precious moments of your life have you lost to your preoccupation with food and weight? The purpose of answering the preceding questions is to not elicit feelings of self-blame or harsh self-judgment but rather to increase your awareness of how your current weight and eating behaviors may be preventing you from living a normal, productive life. Understanding that what you eat affects your every physical, emotional, and mental experience can serve to increase your motivation to cultivate a healthy relationship with food. If you are still riding the yo-yo dieting roller coaster you may have an addictive relationship with food. Addiction, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary, is “the persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful”. Sound familiar? Studies have shown that compulsive overeating and drug addiction share many of the same biological characteristics. For instance, when people eat large quantities of sugar and fat they develop a tolerance for these substances and need more sugar and fat to satisfy them, much like alcoholics and drug addicts who, over time, require increased amounts of alcohol and drugs to get high. Other research has revealed that many obese people and drug addicts have a lower number of dopamine receptors (the feel good receptors) in their brains which make them more likely to crave things that boost dopamine like sugar, alcohol, cocaine or heroin. Also when some people are suddenly cut off from sugar and certain carbohydrates they experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety, depression, irritability and strong cravings for the substance from which they are cut off, just like alcoholics and drug addicts do when they are detoxifying from alcohol or drugs. However; neither acknowledging the depth to which your relationship with food is negatively affecting your life nor understanding the biology of addiction will in and of itself cure your obsession or right your relationship with food. You may be thinking “Well I know how to eat well and what I need to do to lose weight.” Do you really? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. How many times have you gone on a diet proclaiming “This is it! I will never again be overweight! My eating behaviors have forever changed!!” only to find yourself starting a new diet the following Monday morning? Three, four, five or more times? Sounds like insanity to me! You may know how to diet and temporarily lose weight, but you have not made the internal psychological and emotional shifts necessary to sustain a healthy relationship with food and permanent weight loss. Moving from the insanity of a food and weight obsessed life to the serenity that a loving and respectful relationship with food affords you requires the willingness to consider a new way of thinking and being in the world. For many it requires learning to live a spiritual life. Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you will fall by the way side. On page 15 of “A Course in Weight Loss” Marianne Williamson writes: “Spiritual growth is a fascinating process if you allow it to be. It is an inner journey from one insight to another, in which helpful realizations fall into place as you are ready to receive them. Twisted thoughts become untwisted once you see them for what they are. Your journey from blindness to spiritual vision precedes your journey from dysfunctional eating to a healthy and wholesome relationship to food; in fact it is a necessary prerequisite for it. As you understand more deeply the roots of your weakness you lay the foundation for the cultivation of new strengths.” To be continued.....

I love Abraham Hicks!! I will post part One a little later this evening…. I will post signs of disconnection later this week.

Food Addiction Part II In part 1 of this article I suggested that if you’ve tried every diet and every logical approach to weight loss and are still battling with food and weight you might want to explore approaching the issue from a spiritual perspective. Here’s an excerpt: “Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you fall by the way side.” Louisa Latela Allow me to expand on what I mean by Spiritual in the context of this article. Spiritual is not religious or connected with any particular dogma, higher power or deity. Spiritual does not require doing, but rather “being.” It is grounded in a knowing that your authentic true self at your core is love. It is about living in the energy of love, it is about being love. When I talk of living a spiritual life I am talking about living from the inside out. In other words connecting with your inner knowing and making decisions based on the guidance you receive from within vs. from what society says you should do. When you live a spiritual life you shift from living in the energy of fear to living in the energy of awe and acceptance. You relinquish your need for control and approval and relax into a knowing that everything is perfect: that you are perfect in this very moment exactly as you are. You know that whatever you need to know you will know when it is time to do it. You shift from the energy of resisting that which you do not want to allowing your most joy-filled life to manifest. Anita Moorjani shares the lessons she learned during her 2006 near death experience (NDE) in her book “Dying to be Me”. She had cancer for four years, her body was shutting down. As the doctors were telling her family she would not make it through the night she was having an NDE. She made the decision to come back to this life. Within weeks she was discharged from the hospital cancer free! To make a long story short she came to know that her cancer was a physical manifestation of fear: ultimately the fear of being her authentic self. “What was I afraid of? Just about everything, including failing, being disliked, letting people down, and not being good enough. I also feared illness, cancer in particular, as well as the treatment for cancer. I was afraid of living, and I was terrified of dying.” ~~ I’d spent a lifetime judging myself, beating myself up for not meeting these expectations. I always felt inadequate, but following my NDE I understood that these were a false set of socially determined standards, I also used to believe that I wasn’t spiritual enough. Then I discovered that we’re all spiritual regardless of what we do or believe. We can’t be anything else because that is who we are-spiritual beings, we just don’t always realize it. My healing wasn’t so much born from a shift in my state of mind or beliefs as it was from finally allowing my true spirit to shine through." While Anita’s disconnection from her authentic self manifested as cancer in her body, for others it may manifest as obesity, heart disease, diabetes, anorexia, arthritis, etc. For anita moorjani her recovery was immediate. Choosing to live a spiritual life and healing your issues with food body and weight can be immediate, but for most it is a process and takes some time. Many people reject the spiritual approach for exactly this reason: because it is not a quick fix. There is not a prescribed amount of time that it will take to have the body you want. It does not come with a guarantee that you will lose 20 pounds in 10 days or your money back. But what is guaranteed is that if you make a commitment to be willing to love you, and I mean love you unconditionally, to live an “authentic life”, that in time you will make peace with your body and food. You must know this: the only reason any of us does anything is that on some level we think it will make us feel better. We just want to feel good. At our core what we yearn for is love: but all too often we end up looking for love in all the wrong places. We look to other people places and things to make us feel good; to know love. If we would just be still and connect with our center, our core, we would know that all we yearn for is right inside of us and always has been. We are love and the love we are looking for is our own. We yearn for the freedom that comes from non-judgmental self-acceptance to be our authentic self. Marianne Williamson writes: “Spiritually your wanting to lose weight is not a desire to become less of yourself, but rather a desire to become more of your true self… Every moment of unconscious eating is a moment when you are starving from a lack of healthy self-love and struggling to find it elsewhere” So how do you make that happen you might ask? Well you must start by making a commitment to living consciously. You notice when you say or do things that are unkind to yourself. You start to pay attention to your feelings. They are the guide that will lead you home to yourself. You make a commitment to say and do only those things that feel right in your heart, in your soul. You set an intention to say only kind and loving things to and about yourself. You seek to release harsh self judgment and embrace a willingness to learn to accept and love yourself unconditionally. You start to contemplate the idea: What if I really was okay just the way I am? What if it didn’t matter what anyone else thought of me? What if I could really trust myself? How would my life be different if I did love and accept myself unconditionally? What if I allowed myself to relax and just be? You will know if you are living from your authentic self if your actions are grounded in the energy of joy and happiness. If you take an action and it is motivated by fear, greed, sadness, anger, anxiety, you are not connected to your source. This is not to say that you should deny uncomfortable feelings. Rather than denying or pretending they do not exist, I suggest that you embrace them, breathe into them, do not judge them. Ask what you are meant to learn from them. Ask for the insight to see differently whatever it is that triggered your discomfort. If you hang in there long enough you will have a change of heart; the feelings will pass and you will be able to feel peace where there was once turmoil. I want to be clear that it is not necessary that you live a spiritual life in order to be at peace with your body and food. I am just suggesting that if you’ve “tried everything else" you might want to give this a shot…. Spend some time contemplating the questions posed in this article. In my next article I will list signs that indicate you are disconnected from your authentic self . Live in Love, Louisa

My Pleasure!!

It is my belief that we are all wonderful magnificent bundles of energetic love. That is our true or authentic essence. We know this when we are born, but somewhere along the way we disconnect from our authentic self; and in the process we learn to speak the language of harsh self judgment and negativity. One of the ways to tell if you are “disconnected’ is that you approach the task of losing weight from a place grounded in hatred and contempt for your overweight body and perceived lack of willpower. Your self talk may sound something like this: “I hate my body, I can’t wait to lose weight, I can’t go to that party looking like this, I can’t believe I ate that, I am so mad at myself, I know better, I should do better”. If that sounds like you, and you would like to re-connect with your authentic self, I suggest that you take a different approach to losing weight. Honor the role that compulsive eating and excess weight have played in your life. Be kind and gentle with you. If what you want more than anything is to have a slender healthy body and you do something to sabotage that, that ‘s the time you need an emotional HUG, not a beating. Know this: whenever anyone is acting in a way does not honor their highest good they are disconnected from their truth. They are just trying to feel better. Overeating is often an attempt to self nurture. I suggest that you try releasing your excess weight and the behavior of compulsive eating from a place grounded in the energy of Self Love and Compassion, not self degradation and frustration. Many people describe food as their best friend; something they can count on that is unconditional and consistent. They use the behavior of compulsive eating to soothe a broken heart, calm an anxious mind, let go of a crazy day at the office, lift their spirits, reward themselves, or connect with family and friends. I’ve even had people tell me they don’t know if they’d be alive if they didn’t have food to turn to in particularly dark times for if they didn’t have food to numb their feelings they fear they would have turned to alcohol, drugs, or even suicide. Can you relate to any of these concepts? If so can you see that you were/are using food to try to feel better, not because you are a bad or weak person? In terms of excess weight, people have told me it made them feel grounded and strong. It was their identity. Others have said that it has protected them from the anxiety associated with dating and intimacy. I’ve had people tell me their weight gave them an excuse to not really “go for it” in their lives. If they didn’t get the job they wanted or didn’t have a date, they blamed it on their weight. Below is an excerpt from my e-workbook “Live Your Highest Good Make Peace With Your Body and Food” that may lead you to greater insights as to why you carry with you excess weight. So think about this: What role has your excess weight played in your life? If your weight could talk, what would it say? As you answer the following questions be aware of any significant or uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, impulses or sensations in your body. Notice if you are able to stay focused or if your attention wanders. 1.Close your eyes and picture the people who raised you standing in front of you. Imagine that you are at your heaviest weight. If your weight could talk, what would it say to them? 2.What would your heaviest weight say to your siblings or other relatives? 3.What would your heaviest weight say to any other significant people from your past? 4.What would your heaviest weight say to significant people in your life today (partner, spouse, coworkers, friends.). Take some time and really think about this. Your Healthy Weight Voice Now imagine yourself at your ideal healthy weight. And imagine those same people standing before you. How do you feel now being with them without your excess weight? Do you feel strong and empowered, or do you feel somewhat scared and vulnerable? What would your healthy weight voice say to: The people who raised you? Your siblings or other relatives? Other significant people from your past? Significant people in your life today? Reflection: What have you learned through this exercise about the role excess weight has played in your life? Who would you be without your weight? Try this exercise the next time you take a shower: As you wash each part of your body bless it and send it love. Speak to your body as if you were speaking to a child or friend whom you love unconditionally. Thank your body for being there for you. Remember that no matter how much you stuffed it, starved it, exercised it or not, it keeps getting up and showing up for you every day. Bless and love your head, your eyes, your ears, your nose, your mouth, your chin, your neck, your shoulders, your arms, and your hands. Bless and love your back, your chest, your abdomen, your hips, your genitals, your thighs, your calves, your ankles and your feet. If you have excess fat on your body love it and bless it. Thank it for having been there for you. Know that you created it to serve as a protective shield for you to keep you centered, grounded, and safe. Now visualize yourself standing before a gateway on a beautiful hill or on the crest of a wave. Your entire life lies behind you and below you. See that every experience of your past is tied to you by silver and golden threads. Pause and review these experiences... all the joys and all the sorrows... all the adventures it took to bring you to this point... remember all your struggles with your body and your weight. Observe it all, bless it all, thank it all...especially the struggles. Now untie the threads attaching you to the past, and with all the love you can muster, let your excess weight know that it is safe for it to go now. Tell it that you are releasing it with love and gratitude, and you are now ready to learn new ways to love and nurture yourself. Release it all and bless it all. In releasing your attachment to the past, you claim your power in the present. WOW!!! How did that feel???? Take time to write any reflections, thoughts or feelings that surfaced while doing the shower exercise. You may even want to write a love letter to your body!! Have a beautiful day! Live in Love, Louisa