Warren L. Huberman PhD.

The dramatic changes in our daily lives caused by the COVID-19 virus is likely the greatest crisis of our lifetime. Hopefully, you and your family are safe at home and can avoid harm. It would be easy to focus on all of the negativity and be glued to the news 24/7 but that would be a mistake. As someone working to lose weight or maintain your weight loss, this crisis presents a number of challenges but also several opportunities. First the challenges: Many of us are either working from home or are not working, but still at home. Being home presents a bunch of food and eating challenges. You may be more sedentary than usual, without your commute to work, and possibly unable to be out and about or go to the gym. Being home means that the refrigerator and the kitchen are only a few feet away. Your schedule is probably different. Without a regular schedule, unplanned eating and more frequent trips to the kitchen may occur. For those unaccustomed to working from home, it may be harder to focus on your work, and possibly wandering around the house and once again, back in the kitchen. The emotional toll this situation is taking on all of us is significant. If you have a tendency to eat in response to anxiety or loneliness, this can be a very difficult time. The challenges are clear. What about the opportunities? Before this crisis, many people were so busy with their jobs that they did not have time to make better food choices. Too much fast food. Too much take out. Too many dinners at 10 pm. Now there may be more time to buy and prepare healthy food and eat at a healthier time. Many restaurants are closed so you need to go to the supermarket where more fresh foods and healthier choices are available. Learn to cook! If you have more time, you can break out some of those cookbooks you’ve been meaning to read or find simple recipes online to try. While you’re in the supermarket, this could be a good time to experiment with new foods. Some of your favorites may be out of stock. This is a good time to explore different and potentially healthier alternatives to your old, less healthy favorites. While you are home, you may have more time to exercise. If you are restricted from going to the gym, you can still go out for a walk or a bike ride. Even if you walk with one or two friends, it is possible to practice safe social distancing while exercising. Learning to change your emotional relationship with food. It’s certainly tempting to make trips into the kitchen to manage your anxiety and other emotions, but this is a great time to learn and practice alternatives to emotional eating. Here are some ideas to try to implement in the coming weeks: Try to create and maintain a schedule including setting aside times for meals and snacks. If you already have an eating routine that was working, try to maintain it. If you don’t yet have a routine, examine your upcoming schedule and create one. If you are not used to working from home, it is important to structure your day to avoid working in an erratic “when I’m in the mood” manner. The latter is not very productive and will also lead you to wander around the house more often...and we know what room you’re likely to wind up visiting. If you are able to get out to the supermarket, buy healthy and smart! Make a commitment to using this time for positive change. If you continue to buy chips and cookies, this is going to cause weight gain. However, if you make healthier food choices in the supermarket, you can use this period at home to your advantage. If you’ve been looking for an opportunity to help your family start eating healthier, this is a perfect opportunity! Many restaurants are closed, so if you stock the house with healthy choices, you’re more likely to stick to your plan. It’s probably not advisable to go to the supermarket every day as we try to keep our social distance, so try to make a list and do a weekly shopping. Think about meal prepping. What could you buy for a few breakfasts, lunches, and dinners? Make the healthiest choices you can. Experiment in the supermarket. Some of your old favorites might be unavailable. Even if they are there, check out other alternatives. Have you ever wondered if riced cauliflower was a good alternative to white rice? Now’s the time to give it a try. What about that all-natural, lower sodium and low-sugar spaghetti sauce? Maybe bring home a jar or two. We are all wired to buy what we’ve always bought. They’re probably the same items you grew up with in your parents’ home, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Use this opportunity to experiment with healthier and maybe even tastier choices. Get outside and walk or bike a few times per week if possible. Many gyms are closing down so if you have a home gym you have an advantage. However, even without a home gym there’s always the great outdoors. Walking and biking are excellent forms of exercise. It’s more important to try to build a habit of getting out there a few times per week than it is to walk a specific number of steps or burn a specific number of calories. In fact, it is possible that you make this a habit that endures long after this crisis ends. Learn to manage your emotions in ways that don’t involve going to the kitchen. It is completely understandable that you are feeling more anxious these days, but neither the current situation nor your anxiety is going to be helped by eating. Instead, use this time to learn mindfulness skills to manage your anxiety. These skills actually help reduce anxiety and don’t contribute to weight gain. Research demonstrates that learning mindfulness skills helps reduce compulsive eating. There are a number of great apps available like headspace or calm where you can get started. Similarly, if you did a quick search for “mindfulness techniques,” the internet has 100’s of free modules available. Just experiment until you find a few that work for you. Limit the amount of time you watch television and spend watching the news on your computer and phone. You know the news isn’t great, and more importantly, it can be emotionally harmful. The purpose of the news is to provide information, but many people watch news programs as a form of entertainment. However, today’s news is not at all entertaining, it’s quite upsetting. Worst of all, some news programs focus on how things can get worse. While you may need an update or two per day, you don’t need to watch any more than that. It’s very likely to upset you and may trigger emotional eating. Even if you don’t have a tendency to eat in response to anxiety and emotional upset, who wants to experience emotional upset more than necessary?! Instead, use this time to be closer to loved ones within your home or via facetime, teleconferencing or the good old telephone. If you are among loved ones or can use facetime or video conferencing to be with them “virtually,” break out those board games, color in a coloring book, create art projects or do other things that put a more positive spin on what is certainly a challenging time. To be sure, there is nothing good about this crisis and how it is affecting our daily lives. However, it is possible to take advantage of the opportunity that being at home provides. If you make some changes in your behavior, you can use this time to stay on track with your weight loss or weight maintenance goals, and maybe even develop some new healthy habits that provide benefits that last long after this crisis is over. May you all be safe and well during this difficult time. Warren L. Huberman, PhD. Is a Clinical Psychologist licensed in New York and New Jersey. • Clinical Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine. • Affiliate Psychologist at the Langone/NYU Medical Center • Consulting Psychologist to the NYU/Langone Health Weight Management Program • Affiliate Psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry at Northwell-Lenox Hill Hospital. • Maintains a private practice in Clinical Psychology in Manhattan and Rockland County, NY. Author of the book 'Through Thick and Thin: The Emotional Journey of Weight Loss Surgery.' Dr. Huberman can be reached at 212- 983-6225 or at wh@warrenhuberman.com.

I spoke to some friends yesterday and asked about their Thanksgiving holiday. Not surprisingly, a few commented that they ate a bit more than they believed they should. One friend commented, “I ate way too much. I felt disgusting. I’m such a fat pig.” The intensity of my friend’s comment was striking. As she spoke those words, she was shaking her head from side to side, looking at the ground. The expression on her face was one of disgust and shame. She looked as if she was on the verge of tears. It got me thinking. My friend’s comments to herself were very cutting. Acknowledging that she “ate too much” may be a statement of fact. Thanksgiving is infamous for leading us to over indulge. This experience is hardly unique to my friend. It was her comments about feeling “disgusting” and “a fat pig” that are far more problematic, and likely explain the look of shame and disgust on her face. Human beings engage in thousands of different behaviors each day. Eating or overeating is just one of them. No one behavior defines you. Labels like “disgusting” and “fat pig,” are a whole other matter. Labels are self-statements or beliefs about our overall worth and value. They are snap, global assessments about who we are, not just what we do. That’s what makes labels so dangerous. “I ate too much” becomes “I’m worthless” in an instant. Labels represent a “fusing” between an arbitrary thought or statements about ourselves (“I’m a fat pig” or “I’m disgusting”) and our overall feeling about ourselves. Strong negative feelings such as disgust and shame come from making global statements about who we are as a person. Consider the difference between shame and embarrassment. We have all done things that have caused us to be embarrassed. Embarrassment is a feeling about a behavior. If you burp at the Thanksgiving table, you’re embarrassed, but it doesn’t change the way you feel about yourself as a person. Embarrassment is an “oops!” Shame and disgust are a different story. Shame isn't about a behavior. It’s about you. In your efforts to lose weight and keep it off, never lose sight of the fact that your worth as a person is not defined by your weight. Your worth is not dictated by how you ate at a given meal. In fact, your worth is not dictated by what you’ve eaten at all of your meals combined. Remember that old ad campaign that said, “You are what you eat?” Health wise this may be true. In terms of your worth or value as a human being, it’s nonsense. Ask your friends if the joy you bring to their life goes up or down with your weight. Or if they like you less when you eat more at a meal. Unlikely. The language you use when you talk to yourself is very important. If you feel “disappointed” or “upset” that you ate too much, that’s fine. If you’re embarrassed that you had two pieces of pie instead of one that’s ok too. Just avoid telling yourself that you’re “a fat pig” or “gross.” It’s actually very simple. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. It’s unlikely that you would tell a friend she’s “disgusting,” “a fat pig,” or “gross.” You wouldn’t use labels that define your friend based upon how she ate at one meal. You wouldn’t make comments about your friend that made her feel ashamed. Extend yourself the same courtesy. Perhaps most importantly, recognize that it is exactly this type of negative self-talk and these feelings of disgust and shame that contribute to more overeating or binge eating. The cycle is familiar. You overeat, you tell yourself that you’re “disgusting” or “gross,” you feel ashamed, and then you try to cope with these unpleasant feelings by eating. Instead, cut shame off at the pass. Recognize that you have acted in a manner that you want to change, label it appropriately and tell yourself how you plan to address it. For example: “I overate tonight, so I guess I’ll go for a walk tomorrow morning and take it easy on the leftovers tomorrow.” Notice how this statement addresses the undesired behavior and the actions you intend to take to move forward. There is no name-calling, no labeling. As a result, there’s no shame and self-loathing and you can simply put the undesired behavior behind you and move forward. That’s how you break the cycle. I forgot to mention that when my friend told me that she overate and felt disgusting and gross I told her I overate a bit as well. I told her it was just one meal and that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Friends take care of each other. Make sure that you’re a good friend to yourself. That would be something we could all be thankful for.

The intensity of my friend’s comment was striking. As she spoke those words, she was shaking her head from side to side, looking at the ground. The expression on her face was one of disgust and shame. She looked as if she was on the verge of tears. It got me thinking. My friend’s comments to herself were very cutting. Acknowledging that she “ate too much” may be a statement of fact. Thanksgiving is infamous for leading us to over indulge. This experience is hardly unique to my friend. It was her comments about feeling “disgusting” and “a fat pig” that are far more problematic, and likely explain the look of shame and disgust on her face. Human beings engage in thousands of different behaviors each day. Eating or overeating is just one of them. No one behavior defines you. Labels like “disgusting” and “fat pig,” are a whole other matter. Labels are self-statements or beliefs about our overall worth and value. They are snap, global assessments about who we are, not just what we do. That’s what makes labels so dangerous. “I ate too much” becomes “I’m worthless” in an instant. Labels represent a “fusing” between an arbitrary thought or statements about ourselves (“I’m a fat pig” or “I’m disgusting”) and our overall feeling about ourselves. Strong negative feelings such as disgust and shame come from making global statements about who we are as a person. Consider the difference between shame and embarrassment. We have all done things that have caused us to be embarrassed. Embarrassment is a feeling about a behavior. If you burp at the Thanksgiving table, you’re embarrassed, but it doesn’t change the way you feel about yourself as a person. Embarrassment is an “oops!” Shame and disgust are a different story. Shame isn't about a behavior. It’s about you. In your efforts to lose weight and keep it off, never lose sight of the fact that your worth as a person is not defined by your weight. Your worth is not dictated by how you ate at a given meal. In fact, your worth is not dictated by what you’ve eaten at all of your meals combined. Remember that old ad campaign that said, “You are what you eat?” Health wise this may be true. In terms of your worth or value as a human being, it’s nonsense. Ask your friends if the joy you bring to their life goes up or down with your weight. Or if they like you less when you eat more at a meal. Unlikely. The language you use when you talk to yourself is very important. If you feel “disappointed” or “upset” that you ate too much, that’s fine. If you’re embarrassed that you had two pieces of pie instead of one that’s ok too. Just avoid telling yourself that you’re “a fat pig” or “gross.” It’s actually very simple. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend. It’s unlikely that you would tell a friend she’s “disgusting,” “a fat pig,” or “gross.” You wouldn’t use labels that define your friend based upon how she ate at one meal. You wouldn’t make comments about your friend that made her feel ashamed. Extend yourself the same courtesy. Perhaps most importantly, recognize that it is exactly this type of negative self-talk and these feelings of disgust and shame that contribute to more overeating or binge eating. The cycle is familiar. You overeat, you tell yourself that you’re “disgusting” or “gross,” you feel ashamed, and then you try to cope with these unpleasant feelings by eating. Instead, cut shame off at the pass. Recognize that you have acted in a manner that you want to change, label it appropriately and tell yourself how you plan to address it. For example: “I overate tonight, so I guess I’ll go for a walk tomorrow morning and take it easy on the leftovers tomorrow.” Notice how this statement addresses the undesired behavior and the actions you intend to take to move forward. There is no name-calling, no labeling. As a result, there’s no shame and self-loathing and you can simply put the undesired behavior behind you and move forward. That’s how you break the cycle. I forgot to mention that when my friend told me that she overate and felt disgusting and gross I told her I overate a bit as well. I told her it was just one meal and that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Friends take care of each other. Make sure that you’re a good friend to yourself. That would be something we could all be thankful for.

In ancient times, sailors would make sure they were staying on course by referring to the location of the North Star. A constant light in an otherwise black sky, the North Star kept sailors clearly focused on which direction they were traveling and where they wanted to go. However, the skies over the ocean could become cloudy and stormy and sailors might lose sight of the North Star. Sometimes sailors lost their way and became lost at sea. The quest for weight loss and long-term weight maintenance is much like journeying a great distance over an enormous ocean under an endless black sky. Like the sailors of old, to be successful on your journey you need to be clear about where you’re going. You need to stay on course. You need to remain focused. Like sailing across the ocean, losing weight can be stormy and treacherous. Your brain, like the ocean, is not your friend. Your brain is not terribly interested in your desire to lose weight. Your brain is busy trying to maintain your current weight. Trying to lose weight is putting your brain is at war with itself. Your forebrain is the thinker who understands that you want to lose weight. It agrees that losing weight is a good idea. Your midbrain is not logical. It’s a perpetual 2-year-old who is hungry and cranky and likes potato chips, candy, hot dogs and deep fried chicken. This is going to be a very difficult journey, and one that is going to go on for a very long while. What can you do? Look for your North Star(s). In ancient times, sailors would make sure they were staying on course by referring to the location of the North Star. A constant light in an otherwise black sky, the North Star kept sailors clearly focused on which direction they were traveling and where they wanted to go. However, the skies over the ocean could become cloudy and stormy and sailors might lose sight of the North Star. Sometimes sailors lost their way and became lost at sea. The quest for weight loss and long-term weight maintenance is much like journeying a great distance over an enormous ocean under an endless black sky. Like the sailors of old, to be successful on your journey you need to be clear about where you’re going. You need to stay on course. You need to remain focused. Like sailing across the ocean, losing weight can be stormy and treacherous. Your brain, like the ocean, is not your friend. Your brain is not terribly interested in your desire to lose weight. Your brain is busy trying to maintain your current weight. Trying to lose weight is putting your brain is at war with itself. Your forebrain is the thinker who understands that you want to lose weight. It agrees that losing weight is a good idea. Your midbrain is not logical. It’s a perpetual 2-year-old who is hungry and cranky and likes potato chips, candy, hot dogs and deep fried chicken. This is going to be a very difficult journey, and one that is going to go on for a very long while. What can you do? Look for your North Star(s). It goes without saying that you know your goal, right? In fact, it seems quite simple. You want to lose weight and keep it off for good. If you’re like most people, you’ve had this goal for many years and you’ve probably had some success in pursuit of this goal. But there’s a problem with your goal. Believe it or not, weight loss is not your true goal. Your real goal is not to lose weight. Your real goal is to accomplish and experience what you believe losing weight will provide. Therefore, you actually have multiple, specific goals. These are the reasons that inspire you to keep sailing when the ocean gets stormy. These are the reasons that keep you on course. These are your North Stars. To make it across, you must keep your North Star(s) squarely in view. Here’s how to keep away the storms and stay focused: 1) Think long and hard about why you want to lose the weight. Yes, you want to lose weight…but why? What’s in it for you? Take out a piece of paper and put a line down the middle from top to bottom. On the top of the left column write: “What I will gain if I lose the weight and keep it off.” On the top of the right column write: “What I could lose if I don’t lose the weight.” Think of the left side as the “positives” of losing weight and the right side as the “negatives” of not being successful. The left side is what you want; the right side is what you don’t want. As a general rule, positives motivate us more effectively and more consistently than negatives. However, our fears (the negatives) do have a place on the list. Some examples of positives include: improved health, reduced need for specific medications, improved mobility, wearing the clothes you want, improved confidence, and pride in your accomplishment. The negatives are probably more obvious to you: specific health problems, limitations in mobility, frustration, various difficulties in your personal, social and other areas of functioning. Don’t try to write the list all at once. Write down whatever comes to mind right now, but allow other reasons to come to you over the next several days. Take your time. When a specific motivation comes to mind, write it down and add it to the list. Consider asking loved ones for their thoughts. You may never be 100% finished with the list, but you can always add more items later. You’ll know you’re truly ready to begin your weight loss journey when you read the list and deeply feel the emotional impact of each of the items. As you well know, the struggle to lose weight and keep it off is very emotional. If the items on the list don’t move you, you need to revise the list. When it’s complete, this list is your North Star. 2) Make several printed copies of the list. Make a small one to keep in your wallet or purse. Make another to keep in your car. Make another to keep in your office. Make a document containing the list on your computer and keep it on your desktop, laptop, tablet and cell phone. Put a printed or electronic copy everywhere you spend your time. 3) Read the list every day, over and over and over and over. This list needs to be etched on your brain and be in the front of your mind as often as possible. You need to read the list every morning when you wake up, multiple times per day, and before you go to sleep at night. The list needs to be as familiar as possible and as accessible as possible. Rehearse it like a speech. 4) Read the list before you eat and every time you eat. Read the list when you’re cooking or serving yourself food. Read the list just before you start to eat your meal. Read the list just before you place your order in a restaurant. Read the list when you’re about to get up from the couch and wander into the kitchen. Read the list just before you go into the mini-mart to grab a snack when you’re out running errands. If the reasons to make choices consistent with your goals are not in the front of your mind when you are about to choose what or whether or not to eat, they might as well not be in your mind at all. We always seem to know each and every reason why we shouldn’t have eaten that cookie just after we eat it. It’s only by being aware of those reasons before we eat it that can help alter our behavior. (In case you’re wondering why, it’s a forebrain-midbrain thing. Once your cranky 2-year-old midbrain gets the cookie, she’s happy and quiets down, therefore you can now clearly hear your forebrain and all of her brilliant reasons not to eat the cookie….albeit too late.) Having this list is the single most important part of your weight loss journey, and quite frankly the rest of your efforts might be pointless without the list. Here’s why: no learned behavior is ever fully unlearned. Once a particular relation occurs it never returns to zero strength so you never forget that you love donuts, candy, potato chips or chicken wings. These foods will never become completely unappealing because the brain never forgets. Therefore, you have to practice reminding your brain of what you hope to accomplish by losing weight and why eating donuts, candy, etc. is incompatible with those goals. Your brain may never forget just how yummy those foods are, but if you maintain your focus on your goals and avoid overeating those foods (or learn to eat better foods or learn to engage in new behaviors that replace eating), the impulse to eat those foods weakens and you gain habit strength and confidence in new behaviors that are consistent with your goals and avoid getting lost at sea. All weight loss efforts falter when the reasons for persevering weaken. If you have a bright, shining North Star, a setback is just a setback. You just keep on sailing and don’t become adrift. You’re still clear on where you’re going. Even if you have a donut, you can refer right back to your list, view it as an “oops” and get back on track. In fact, when your reasons for losing weight are solid and deeply personal, you might even choose to have an occasional donut, knowing that it won’t cause you to lose your way. None of what I’m suggesting in this article is intended to minimize the importance of other skills in helping you achieve your weight loss goals. You know that losing weight and keeping it off is very difficult and that your brain and body are unrelenting in trying to sabotage your best efforts. Therefore, if your specific reasons to embark on this weight loss journey are unfamiliar, vague or uninspiring, it’s very unlikely that you will make it across a very treacherous, dark ocean. Take the time to make the list and keep your North Star shining bright. My best wishes to you for smooth sailing.

In ancient times, sailors would make sure they were staying on course by referring to the location of the North Star. A constant light in an otherwise black sky, the North Star kept sailors clearly focused on which direction they were traveling and where they wanted to go. However, the skies over the ocean could become cloudy and stormy and sailors might lose sight of the North Star. Sometimes sailors lost their way and became lost at sea. The quest for weight loss and long-term weight maintenance is much like journeying a great distance over an enormous ocean under an endless black sky. Like the sailors of old, to be successful on your journey you need to be clear about where you’re going. You need to stay on course. You need to remain focused. Like sailing across the ocean, losing weight can be stormy and treacherous. Your brain, like the ocean, is not your friend. Your brain is not terribly interested in your desire to lose weight. Your brain is busy trying to maintain your current weight. Trying to lose weight is putting your brain is at war with itself. Your forebrain is the thinker who understands that you want to lose weight. It agrees that losing weight is a good idea. Your midbrain is not logical. It’s a perpetual 2-year-old who is hungry and cranky and likes potato chips, candy, hot dogs and deep fried chicken. This is going to be a very difficult journey, and one that is going to go on for a very long while. What can you do? Look for your North Star(s). It goes without saying that you know your goal, right? In fact, it seems quite simple. You want to lose weight and keep it off for good. If you’re like most people, you’ve had this goal for many years and you’ve probably had some success in pursuit of this goal. But there’s a problem with your goal. Believe it or not, weight loss is not your true goal. Your real goal is not to lose weight. Your real goal is to accomplish and experience what you believe losing weight will provide. Therefore, you actually have multiple, specific goals. These are the reasons that inspire you to keep sailing when the ocean gets stormy. These are the reasons that keep you on course. These are your North Stars. To make it across, you must keep your North Star(s) squarely in view. Here’s how to keep away the storms and stay focused: 1) Think long and hard about why you want to lose the weight. Yes, you want to lose weight…but why? What’s in it for you? Take out a piece of paper and put a line down the middle from top to bottom. On the top of the left column write: “What I will gain if I lose the weight and keep it off.” On the top of the right column write: “What I could lose if I don’t lose the weight.” Think of the left side as the “positives” of losing weight and the right side as the “negatives” of not being successful. The left side is what you want; the right side is what you don’t want. As a general rule, positives motivate us more effectively and more consistently than negatives. However, our fears (the negatives) do have a place on the list. Some examples of positives include: improved health, reduced need for specific medications, improved mobility, wearing the clothes you want, improved confidence, and pride in your accomplishment. The negatives are probably more obvious to you: specific health problems, limitations in mobility, frustration, various difficulties in your personal, social and other areas of functioning. Don’t try to write the list all at once. Write down whatever comes to mind right now, but allow other reasons to come to you over the next several days. Take your time. When a specific motivation comes to mind, write it down and add it to the list. Consider asking loved ones for their thoughts. You may never be 100% finished with the list, but you can always add more items later. You’ll know you’re truly ready to begin your weight loss journey when you read the list and deeply feel the emotional impact of each of the items. As you well know, the struggle to lose weight and keep it off is very emotional. If the items on the list don’t move you, you need to revise the list. When it’s complete, this list is your North Star. 2) Make several printed copies of the list. Make a small one to keep in your wallet or purse. Make another to keep in your car. Make another to keep in your office. Make a document containing the list on your computer and keep it on your desktop, laptop, tablet and cell phone. Put a printed or electronic copy everywhere you spend your time. 3) Read the list every day, over and over and over and over. This list needs to be etched on your brain and be in the front of your mind as often as possible. You need to read the list every morning when you wake up, multiple times per day, and before you go to sleep at night. The list needs to be as familiar as possible and as accessible as possible. Rehearse it like a speech. 4) Read the list before you eat and every time you eat. Read the list when you’re cooking or serving yourself food. Read the list just before you start to eat your meal. Read the list just before you place your order in a restaurant. Read the list when you’re about to get up from the couch and wander into the kitchen. Read the list just before you go into the mini-mart to grab a snack when you’re out running errands. If the reasons to make choices consistent with your goals are not in the front of your mind when you are about to choose what or whether or not to eat, they might as well not be in your mind at all. We always seem to know each and every reason why we shouldn’t have eaten that cookie just after we eat it. It’s only by being aware of those reasons before we eat it that can help alter our behavior. (In case you’re wondering why, it’s a forebrain-midbrain thing. Once your cranky 2-year-old midbrain gets the cookie, she’s happy and quiets down, therefore you can now clearly hear your forebrain and all of her brilliant reasons not to eat the cookie….albeit too late.) Having this list is the single most important part of your weight loss journey, and quite frankly the rest of your efforts might be pointless without the list. Here’s why: no learned behavior is ever fully unlearned. Once a particular relation occurs it never returns to zero strength so you never forget that you love donuts, candy, potato chips or chicken wings. These foods will never become completely unappealing because the brain never forgets. Therefore, you have to practice reminding your brain of what you hope to accomplish by losing weight and why eating donuts, candy, etc. is incompatible with those goals. Your brain may never forget just how yummy those foods are, but if you maintain your focus on your goals and avoid overeating those foods (or learn to eat better foods or learn to engage in new behaviors that replace eating), the impulse to eat those foods weakens and you gain habit strength and confidence in new behaviors that are consistent with your goals and avoid getting lost at sea. All weight loss efforts falter when the reasons for persevering weaken. If you have a bright, shining North Star, a setback is just a setback. You just keep on sailing and don’t become adrift. You’re still clear on where you’re going. Even if you have a donut, you can refer right back to your list, view it as an “oops” and get back on track. In fact, when your reasons for losing weight are solid and deeply personal, you might even choose to have an occasional donut, knowing that it won’t cause you to lose your way. None of what I’m suggesting in this article is intended to minimize the importance of other skills in helping you achieve your weight loss goals. You know that losing weight and keeping it off is very difficult and that your brain and body are unrelenting in trying to sabotage your best efforts. Therefore, if your specific reasons to embark on this weight loss journey are unfamiliar, vague or uninspiring, it’s very unlikely that you will make it across a very treacherous, dark ocean. Take the time to make the list and keep your North Star shining bright. My best wishes to you for smooth sailing.

Many of our pleasures, passions, hobbies and interests develop during childhood and adolescence. As a child we’re a bit like an empty chalkboard – nothing has been written on it yet…a blank slate. Our parents are often the ones who first write on the chalkboard. If they like to ski, they probably brought you along. If they like music and art, they probably tried to instill a love of music and art in you as well. And kids eat it all up…eager to explore and discover their world. Every experience is new to a young child. This is not to say that you will necessarily enjoy every experience they introduce you to, but good parents create opportunities for their children to share in their passions and encourage them to develop those of their own. While it is certainly possible to develop sources of pleasure later in life, it can be much more complicated. We get stuck in our comfort zones and if some of our previous sources of pleasures fall away or never really developed – that comfort zone can become awfully small. What if your parents had few passions to share with you or worked such long hours that they had no time to share? What if your parents were not around or perhaps were not the best parents in the world? It’s also possible that you never had the opportunity to develop sources of pleasure and enjoyment for yourself. You never discovered what pushed your “happy buttons.” Alternatively, perhaps you had some “happy buttons” but can no longer participate. For example, skiing can be physically demanding and also expensive. Skiing might have been accessible at one time in your life and not as accessible in another. There are many explanations for why passions and pleasures at one time in your life don’t last throughout your lifetime. Eating is a “happy button” for everyone. For some it’s a small pleasure and for others it’s their biggest pleasure. We are genetically wired to enjoy eating. Our species would not have lasted very long if that wasn’t the case. So the desire to eat and the rewards of eating are a “built in happy button.” In modern terms, it’s an app that comes with our iBrain. We like food. We love food. But if food is one of your only “happy buttons” and you push it too often…well….we know how that story goes. Developing new happy buttons takes a great deal of work. Begin by asking yourself; “What would I like to do?” or “What could give me pleasure?” or “What used to give me pleasure that may once again?” Don’t be surprised if you draw a blank. If it was that easy you’d have a panel full of “happy buttons” to push by now. It’s understandable that skiing might not pop into your head if you’ve never been skiing before or if you’re still struggling with your weight and are questioning if you even could ski (you probably can!). Avoid that old impulse to shoot down everything that pops into your head. Reasons you CAN’T do things always seem more available than reasons you CAN. Don’t be discouraged. Remember back when you were a kid and everything was new and everything was cool? Try to recapture that spirit. Two other ideas are to consider the many hobbies and interests that your friends and family enjoy as well as to discover the many things that are going on in your community. What do your friends and family do for fun? What kinds of activities are they involved in? What events are being promoted online and in your local newspaper? Instead of trying only to think of what you might enjoy, consider investigating what’s out there. Film festivals, concerts, street fairs, talks, classes, etc. Potential new “happy buttons” abound! Generate as many ideas as you can before editing them down. Again, work diligently to avoid the impulse to immediately say “no” to any of your great ideas. It’s so easy and maybe even automatic to think of why something ISN’T for you. Let the doors of your mind be open to let it in what COULD be. With an open and curious child-like mind, the sky is the limit. I know…you’re sighing and saying things like, “It’s so hard,” or “I tried that already,” or “I’m not a “joiner”,” or maybe “I just don’t feel like it.” I understand, but consider this: OF COURSE YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT!!! As adults, we rarely feel like doing things we’ve never done before. The adult brain doesn’t like the new; it prefers the familiar…the comfortable. The adult brain prefers to run on autopilot. That is exactly why we keep going to the refrigerator or ordering take-out even though we know it is precisely what we SHOULDN’T be doing. If you are struggling with depression, anxiety or feelings of self-consciousness regarding your weight you might have an extra dose of “I don’t feel like it.” Fortunately, you don’t have to feel like it. Feel the feelings and try it anyway. Have you ever not wanted to do something and were either encouraged to do it by a friend or pushed yourself to do it and found you actually enjoyed yourself? Of course you have. Because feelings are often WRONG! You’re not a fortune-teller and your initial feelings are not facts. Also consider that if you never try anything new and only do what is comfortable and familiar, you can’t possibly discover new “happy buttons.” The “new” often feels scary and uncomfortable. That does not mean that it is scary or uncomfortable or that it will remain so. When you first tried to ride a bike, your enthusiasm was likely mixed with fear and anxiety that you might crash or hurt yourself. With encouragement after a few minutes, when you figured out how to steer away from the bushes and use the brakes, that feeling of anxiety was replaced with exhilaration and pride. The big scary waterslide at the amusement park that you refused to go down the first time quickly became the same slide you wanted to go down 50 times into the evening before you had to go home. Yes, developing new “happy buttons” to replace eating isn’t easy. It can also be a little scary. You are fighting inertia and you are fighting your brain’s instinct to stick to what is safe and familiar. Comfort zones aren’t called comfort zones by coincidence! However, with consistent effort it is possible to change your thoughts and actions. You are in change of your own control panel and the buttons you put on panel. Your life is in your hands. Start experimenting, just as a child would and start pushing lots of buttons until a few become new “happy buttons.”

Eating is a great source of pleasure for many people. The pleasures of eating push our “happy buttons.” Eating is pleasurable on many levels. Many foods taste delicious, eating feels good in our mouth and belly, eating soothes our emotions, and the act of dining, especially in restaurants or other special settings, can be a wonderful experience. This isn’t just true for some people; it’s true for everyone to some degree. Unfortunately for some, eating can become a disproportionately pleasurable experience, one of a few or perhaps their only "happy button." Many of our pleasures, passions, hobbies and interests develop during childhood and adolescence. As a child we’re a bit like an empty chalkboard – nothing has been written on it yet…a blank slate. Our parents are often the ones who first write on the chalkboard. If they like to ski, they probably brought you along. If they like music and art, they probably tried to instill a love of music and art in you as well. And kids eat it all up…eager to explore and discover their world. Every experience is new to a young child. This is not to say that you will necessarily enjoy every experience they introduce you to, but good parents create opportunities for their children to share in their passions and encourage them to develop those of their own. While it is certainly possible to develop sources of pleasure later in life, it can be much more complicated. We get stuck in our comfort zones and if some of our previous sources of pleasures fall away or never really developed – that comfort zone can become awfully small. What if your parents had few passions to share with you or worked such long hours that they had no time to share? What if your parents were not around or perhaps were not the best parents in the world? It’s also possible that you never had the opportunity to develop sources of pleasure and enjoyment for yourself. You never discovered what pushed your “happy buttons.” Alternatively, perhaps you had some “happy buttons” but can no longer participate. For example, skiing can be physically demanding and also expensive. Skiing might have been accessible at one time in your life and not as accessible in another. There are many explanations for why passions and pleasures at one time in your life don’t last throughout your lifetime. Eating is a “happy button” for everyone. For some it’s a small pleasure and for others it’s their biggest pleasure. We are genetically wired to enjoy eating. Our species would not have lasted very long if that wasn’t the case. So the desire to eat and the rewards of eating are a “built in happy button.” In modern terms, it’s an app that comes with our iBrain. We like food. We love food. But if food is one of your only “happy buttons” and you push it too often…well….we know how that story goes. Developing new happy buttons takes a great deal of work. Begin by asking yourself; “What would I like to do?” or “What could give me pleasure?” or “What used to give me pleasure that may once again?” Don’t be surprised if you draw a blank. If it was that easy you’d have a panel full of “happy buttons” to push by now. It’s understandable that skiing might not pop into your head if you’ve never been skiing before or if you’re still struggling with your weight and are questioning if you even could ski (you probably can!). Avoid that old impulse to shoot down everything that pops into your head. Reasons you CAN’T do things always seem more available than reasons you CAN. Don’t be discouraged. Remember back when you were a kid and everything was new and everything was cool? Try to recapture that spirit. Two other ideas are to consider the many hobbies and interests that your friends and family enjoy as well as to discover the many things that are going on in your community. What do your friends and family do for fun? What kinds of activities are they involved in? What events are being promoted online and in your local newspaper? Instead of trying only to think of what you might enjoy, consider investigating what’s out there. Film festivals, concerts, street fairs, talks, classes, etc. Potential new “happy buttons” abound! Generate as many ideas as you can before editing them down. Again, work diligently to avoid the impulse to immediately say “no” to any of your great ideas. It’s so easy and maybe even automatic to think of why something ISN’T for you. Let the doors of your mind be open to let it in what COULD be. With an open and curious child-like mind, the sky is the limit. I know…you’re sighing and saying things like, “It’s so hard,” or “I tried that already,” or “I’m not a “joiner”,” or maybe “I just don’t feel like it.” I understand, but consider this: OF COURSE YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT!!! As adults, we rarely feel like doing things we’ve never done before. The adult brain doesn’t like the new; it prefers the familiar…the comfortable. The adult brain prefers to run on autopilot. That is exactly why we keep going to the refrigerator or ordering take-out even though we know it is precisely what we SHOULDN’T be doing. If you are struggling with depression, anxiety or feelings of self-consciousness regarding your weight you might have an extra dose of “I don’t feel like it.” Fortunately, you don’t have to feel like it. Feel the feelings and try it anyway. Have you ever not wanted to do something and were either encouraged to do it by a friend or pushed yourself to do it and found you actually enjoyed yourself? Of course you have. Because feelings are often WRONG! You’re not a fortune-teller and your initial feelings are not facts. Also consider that if you never try anything new and only do what is comfortable and familiar, you can’t possibly discover new “happy buttons.” The “new” often feels scary and uncomfortable. That does not mean that it is scary or uncomfortable or that it will remain so. When you first tried to ride a bike, your enthusiasm was likely mixed with fear and anxiety that you might crash or hurt yourself. With encouragement after a few minutes, when you figured out how to steer away from the bushes and use the brakes, that feeling of anxiety was replaced with exhilaration and pride. The big scary waterslide at the amusement park that you refused to go down the first time quickly became the same slide you wanted to go down 50 times into the evening before you had to go home. Yes, developing new “happy buttons” to replace eating isn’t easy. It can also be a little scary. You are fighting inertia and you are fighting your brain’s instinct to stick to what is safe and familiar. Comfort zones aren’t called comfort zones by coincidence! However, with consistent effort it is possible to change your thoughts and actions. You are in change of your own control panel and the buttons you put on panel. Your life is in your hands. Start experimenting, just as a child would and start pushing lots of buttons until a few become new “happy buttons.”

Perhaps the big takeaway message for those trying to lose weight AND keep it off is this: Do not make changes in your behavior that you are not prepared to maintain for the rest of your life. Notice that I’m focusing on behavior, not losing weight. Consider that you do not actually try to lose weight. You try to change certain behaviors that you believe will eventually lead to weight loss. Weight loss is the desired outcome of a number of changes in behavior, some involving what you eat, some involving how you eat, and others involving your level of activity. It is critical to keep your focus on your behavior, not the scale. That same research also indicates that the body fights efforts to keep weight off for many years after the initial weight loss…maybe even for the rest of your life. You’re going to experience hunger. You are going to have cravings. Your body is going to keep fighting. Therefore, you are going to need to keep fighting. We also know that despite all of this new research, reducing your intake of calories and burning off more of them remain two of the pillars of weight loss success. Your strategy to lose weight and keep it off must incorporate those two factors. With all of this information in mind, you can see why it’s silly to try to discover “the best diet.” First of all, “diets” are short-term interventions that you certainly know by now will not work. Second, we illustrated that whatever behavior changes you make, you would need to keep them going for many, many years. It’s simply not possible for one set of behavior changes to work for everyone. It really comes down to figuring out what the best strategies are for you to reduce your calorie intake and to burn off more of them for many years to come. This is something you should give a great deal of thought. I know its January, but avoid jumping on the first idea that all of your buddies are considering. Now that you have read this article (and others), you probably have a lot more information that they have. Perhaps you can share this information with your friends who also want to lose weight and you can all put your collective heads together and come up with some strategies for one another. I have some suggestions. Consider that you do not have to get it 100% right on day one and you probably should start small and try to build a pattern of success. Try to hit singles, not home runs. For example: If you decide that cutting carbs is going to be one of your strategies, start by trying to cut your carbohydrate intake by 10% for the first few weeks and work your way up to 50% or whatever your long-term goal will be. If you start by going no-carb on day one, I can introduce you to 100’s of people that were back to carbohydrate-rich diets and total weight regain by week four. Similarly, if increasing exercise is one of your goals, consider focusing on the number of days per week that you exercise, not how many calories you burn on the treadmill. Build a pattern of success. Over the weeks, try to increase your time and make it a point to find types of exercise that you enjoy…not necessarily the ones that burn the most calories, but rather the ones you believe that you can stick with over the long-term. Also, consider making changes in your eating behavior rather than just in your diet. In other words, focus on how you eat not just what you eat. If, for example, you consume a great deal of calories by impulsively picking at food throughout the day, a good goal would be to eat only three meals and one snack per day and to avoid eating at other times. Here are some other suggestions: always go to the supermarket with a list and avoid purchasing anything not on the list; keep fruits and vegetables out on the counter for snacking; drink more water especially if you’re not certain if you are hungry or thirsty. You get the idea. If you think about it, you may know all of this already. If you are fortunate to know someone who has lost over 25 pounds and kept it off for many years, I would bet that this person has made some permanent, dramatic changes in his habits. He’s a vegetarian. She exercises five days a week, every week. He doesn’t eat dessert anymore. She doesn’t drink anything with sugar. In other words, she’s not on a diet and it’s not with a short-term goal weight in mind. Her approach to food, eating and activity is fundamentally and permanently changed. That’s the goal. In summary, think long-term. All signs point to the need for a consistent, sustained battle for long-term weight loss success. Take your time and discover some small but significant modifications you can make in your diet, eating behavior and activity level and try to build on them week by week. The ultimate goal is to make changes that can last year after year. Now that’s a winning New Year’s resolution.

If you’re keeping up with the news on weight loss, it’s becoming very clear that most efforts at long-term weight loss do not work. This suggests that most of the behavioral changes people attempt to make are unsustainable over the long term. We are also learning that this difficulty has much more to do with a number of biological factors and much less to do with willpower. Recent research on the resting metabolic rate and leptin levels (and other factors) of those who have lost large amounts of weight suggest that the human body fights efforts to keep weight off. It’s as if the body tries everything in its power to put the weight back on! The good news is that you can stop blaming yourself. It’s not you; it’s biology. While these facts are discouraging, it’s not necessarily a lost cause. Perhaps the big takeaway message for those trying to lose weight AND keep it off is this: Do not make changes in your behavior that you are not prepared to maintain for the rest of your life. Notice that I’m focusing on behavior, not losing weight. Consider that you do not actually try to lose weight. You try to change certain behaviors that you believe will eventually lead to weight loss. Weight loss is the desired outcome of a number of changes in behavior, some involving what you eat, some involving how you eat, and others involving your level of activity. It is critical to keep your focus on your behavior, not the scale. That same research also indicates that the body fights efforts to keep weight off for many years after the initial weight loss…maybe even for the rest of your life. You’re going to experience hunger. You are going to have cravings. Your body is going to keep fighting. Therefore, you are going to need to keep fighting. We also know that despite all of this new research, reducing your intake of calories and burning off more of them remain two of the pillars of weight loss success. Your strategy to lose weight and keep it off must incorporate those two factors. With all of this information in mind, you can see why it’s silly to try to discover “the best diet.” First of all, “diets” are short-term interventions that you certainly know by now will not work. Second, we illustrated that whatever behavior changes you make, you would need to keep them going for many, many years. It’s simply not possible for one set of behavior changes to work for everyone. It really comes down to figuring out what the best strategies are for you to reduce your calorie intake and to burn off more of them for many years to come. This is something you should give a great deal of thought. I know its January, but avoid jumping on the first idea that all of your buddies are considering. Now that you have read this article (and others), you probably have a lot more information that they have. Perhaps you can share this information with your friends who also want to lose weight and you can all put your collective heads together and come up with some strategies for one another. I have some suggestions. Consider that you do not have to get it 100% right on day one and you probably should start small and try to build a pattern of success. Try to hit singles, not home runs. For example: If you decide that cutting carbs is going to be one of your strategies, start by trying to cut your carbohydrate intake by 10% for the first few weeks and work your way up to 50% or whatever your long-term goal will be. If you start by going no-carb on day one, I can introduce you to 100’s of people that were back to carbohydrate-rich diets and total weight regain by week four. Similarly, if increasing exercise is one of your goals, consider focusing on the number of days per week that you exercise, not how many calories you burn on the treadmill. Build a pattern of success. Over the weeks, try to increase your time and make it a point to find types of exercise that you enjoy…not necessarily the ones that burn the most calories, but rather the ones you believe that you can stick with over the long-term. Also, consider making changes in your eating behavior rather than just in your diet. In other words, focus on how you eat not just what you eat. If, for example, you consume a great deal of calories by impulsively picking at food throughout the day, a good goal would be to eat only three meals and one snack per day and to avoid eating at other times. Here are some other suggestions: always go to the supermarket with a list and avoid purchasing anything not on the list; keep fruits and vegetables out on the counter for snacking; drink more water especially if you’re not certain if you are hungry or thirsty. You get the idea. If you think about it, you may know all of this already. If you are fortunate to know someone who has lost over 25 pounds and kept it off for many years, I would bet that this person has made some permanent, dramatic changes in his habits. He’s a vegetarian. She exercises five days a week, every week. He doesn’t eat dessert anymore. She doesn’t drink anything with sugar. In other words, she’s not on a diet and it’s not with a short-term goal weight in mind. Her approach to food, eating and activity is fundamentally and permanently changed. That’s the goal. In summary, think long-term. All signs point to the need for a consistent, sustained battle for long-term weight loss success. Take your time and discover some small but significant modifications you can make in your diet, eating behavior and activity level and try to build on them week by week. The ultimate goal is to make changes that can last year after year. Now that’s a winning New Year’s resolution.

For example: If you are in the habit of having a snack while watching television at night, any time you watch television at night, you are likely to experience a desire to eat shortly after you sit down. Are you “in the mood” to eat? Not necessarily. Are you experiencing positive or negative emotions that are triggering a desire to eat? Not necessarily. Are there food cues on television that planted the urge to eat in your mind? Not necessarily. All that happened was that you sat down and turned on the television. But if you’ve sat in front of a television while having a snack over 5,000 times in the past, there’s a very high probability that you will want a snack in situation 5,001. Emotions, like television are cues. Another word for cue is “stimulus.” If you keep repeating the behavior of eating while watching television, eating eventually becomes a “response” to watching television. This is called Pavolvian Conditioning, which you may remember from a psychology class in high school or college. After enough pairings of television/eat or feel anxious/eat, the occurrence of one triggers the occurrence of the other. However, there is another part of the story. For the vast majority of us, the immediate consequence of eating is quite positive. Food tastes good and eating feels good. We enjoy eating in restaurants. We enjoy all of the many flavors and textures of food and eating. It is those positive consequences of eating that keep us coming back for more. Learning that occurs through the experience of consequences is called Operant Conditioning. So emotions can be a cue for eating and they can also be a response to eating. Generally, when people speak about emotional eating, they are referring to unpleasant emotions as a stimulus for eating and temporary relief from those unpleasant emotions that the act of eating provides. When we eat certain foods in response to an emotional cue we often feel better. When you’re upset and you have a bit of chocolate (for example) you experience some pleasure from the taste of the chocolate and perhaps a little relief from your unpleasant feelings. The “pleasant taste” and “relief from unpleasant feelings” reward the behavior of eating and strengthen it over time. If you eat chocolate here and there it’s not a problem. If you do it too often, and rely upon eating as a means of coping with unpleasant emotions, it can quickly become a big problem. It is interesting to note that the “feeling a little better” part is usually quickly replaced with the “feeling guilty and upset with myself” part. This demonstrates how powerful experiencing positive consequences and getting relief from negative emotions can be in maintaining a behavior. But if we know that in the long term this type of eating is unhealthy and self-destructive, why can’t we stop? Why can’t we just learn to let ourselves feel a little uncomfortable or learn other coping strategies? You can. It just takes a greater sense of awareness and a lot of practice. It also requires a change in how we think about emotions. In our culture, we put our emotions or feelings on a pedestal. We tend to worship our emotions and feelings and talk about them with reverence. We try to break them down and understand and change them, and while there may be some benefit to expending all of this time and effort, with regards to eating, it may be simpler to just think of emotions as just another cue for eating…no different than watching television. So what can you do about emotional eating? The first step in addressing emotional eating is to learn to be aware that you’re doing it WHEN you’re doing it. Think of it as “freezing time.” Not only is this the first step, it is also the most important step. It is not possible to proceed to the other steps without mastering this step first. In fact, for many people, just noticing that they are eating in response to an emotional cue is enough to stop. Make it a habit to stop for 30 seconds just before every episode of eating. “Freeze time” and ask yourself, “What am I doing? Am I hungry? Am I upset? Am I bored? What am I experiencing that is leading me to want to eat?” Maybe it’s not an emotion at all. Perhaps you’re hungry. Perhaps you can notice that you’re watching television and it’s as simple as that. If it is an emotion, try to figure out which one it is. Anger? Anxiety? Sadness? Depression? See if you can put a name to what you are feeling so that you can identify your specific stimuli or cues for eating. Consider keeping an emotional eating diary and write down whatever emotions/feelings you experience before you eat, every time you eat. The second step is to sit with the emotion. Now that you’ve frozen time, just experience the emotion you are feeling. Observe it and think about it a little. Notice the physical sensations in your body. Survey the thoughts you are having in conjunction with the feeling. Be present. Maybe even have a dialogue with yourself about it as if you’re watching yourself from above. “Gee that’s interesting. I’m feeling a little nervous about that meeting I have tomorrow and here I am holding a chocolate donut in my kitchen. Wow, I sure have done this many times before. It’s funny. I do really want this donut right now and I’m not even sure why. I wonder what’s going on? My muscles feel a bit tight. I’m thinking about what I’m going to say at the meeting and who will be there. I’m a little uncomfortable, but it’s not really that bad.” The third step is to practice walking away from the kitchen and considering an alternative to eating that actually better addresses the emotion you’re experiencing. While chocolate donuts may taste good and eating one may temporarily provide a calming effect, it also provides a whole lot of unnecessary calories and chocolate donuts have never been clinically proven to enhance one’s ability to prepare for a business meeting. Depending on the emotion, there are a number of strategies that could be helpful. Some strategies help with many emotions. Going for a walk, calling a friend, and trying a brief relaxation strategy can help with anxiety, depression and anger. There are an endless number of strategies that you can discover that actually help reduce the emotional upset you are experiencing much better than eating and with fewer weight and health consequences. This is a big leap for many people. We hold emotions to be sacred and mysterious things and while they are a special part of the human experience, with regards to eating it may be helpful to think of them as just another cue or stimulus…no different than watching television. If you can make that leap then it’s just a matter of becoming more aware of when eating in response to emotions is occurring and learning new responses to replace eating as a means of coping. You’ll feel better that you did!

Many people describe emotional eating as a special type of eating. The truth may be that emotional eating isn’t really special at all. What seems special and mysterious about emotional eating is that it’s often insidious and not at all obvious. We don’t necessarily feel anxious (for example) and think to ourselves; “I’m very upset right now so I am going to have some ice cream.” It is more likely that we feel anxiety and our brain just steers us to the refrigerator because we’ve practiced that behavior so many times before. This is called a habit. In this way, emotions are just one trigger for eating no different than any other. For example: If you are in the habit of having a snack while watching television at night, any time you watch television at night, you are likely to experience a desire to eat shortly after you sit down. Are you “in the mood” to eat? Not necessarily. Are you experiencing positive or negative emotions that are triggering a desire to eat? Not necessarily. Are there food cues on television that planted the urge to eat in your mind? Not necessarily. All that happened was that you sat down and turned on the television. But if you’ve sat in front of a television while having a snack over 5,000 times in the past, there’s a very high probability that you will want a snack in situation 5,001. Emotions, like television are cues. Another word for cue is “stimulus.” If you keep repeating the behavior of eating while watching television, eating eventually becomes a “response” to watching television. This is called Pavolvian Conditioning, which you may remember from a psychology class in high school or college. After enough pairings of television/eat or feel anxious/eat, the occurrence of one triggers the occurrence of the other. However, there is another part of the story. For the vast majority of us, the immediate consequence of eating is quite positive. Food tastes good and eating feels good. We enjoy eating in restaurants. We enjoy all of the many flavors and textures of food and eating. It is those positive consequences of eating that keep us coming back for more. Learning that occurs through the experience of consequences is called Operant Conditioning. So emotions can be a cue for eating and they can also be a response to eating. Generally, when people speak about emotional eating, they are referring to unpleasant emotions as a stimulus for eating and temporary relief from those unpleasant emotions that the act of eating provides. When we eat certain foods in response to an emotional cue we often feel better. When you’re upset and you have a bit of chocolate (for example) you experience some pleasure from the taste of the chocolate and perhaps a little relief from your unpleasant feelings. The “pleasant taste” and “relief from unpleasant feelings” reward the behavior of eating and strengthen it over time. If you eat chocolate here and there it’s not a problem. If you do it too often, and rely upon eating as a means of coping with unpleasant emotions, it can quickly become a big problem. It is interesting to note that the “feeling a little better” part is usually quickly replaced with the “feeling guilty and upset with myself” part. This demonstrates how powerful experiencing positive consequences and getting relief from negative emotions can be in maintaining a behavior. But if we know that in the long term this type of eating is unhealthy and self-destructive, why can’t we stop? Why can’t we just learn to let ourselves feel a little uncomfortable or learn other coping strategies? You can. It just takes a greater sense of awareness and a lot of practice. It also requires a change in how we think about emotions. In our culture, we put our emotions or feelings on a pedestal. We tend to worship our emotions and feelings and talk about them with reverence. We try to break them down and understand and change them, and while there may be some benefit to expending all of this time and effort, with regards to eating, it may be simpler to just think of emotions as just another cue for eating…no different than watching television. So what can you do about emotional eating? The first step in addressing emotional eating is to learn to be aware that you’re doing it WHEN you’re doing it. Think of it as “freezing time.” Not only is this the first step, it is also the most important step. It is not possible to proceed to the other steps without mastering this step first. In fact, for many people, just noticing that they are eating in response to an emotional cue is enough to stop. Make it a habit to stop for 30 seconds just before every episode of eating. “Freeze time” and ask yourself, “What am I doing? Am I hungry? Am I upset? Am I bored? What am I experiencing that is leading me to want to eat?” Maybe it’s not an emotion at all. Perhaps you’re hungry. Perhaps you can notice that you’re watching television and it’s as simple as that. If it is an emotion, try to figure out which one it is. Anger? Anxiety? Sadness? Depression? See if you can put a name to what you are feeling so that you can identify your specific stimuli or cues for eating. Consider keeping an emotional eating diary and write down whatever emotions/feelings you experience before you eat, every time you eat. The second step is to sit with the emotion. Now that you’ve frozen time, just experience the emotion you are feeling. Observe it and think about it a little. Notice the physical sensations in your body. Survey the thoughts you are having in conjunction with the feeling. Be present. Maybe even have a dialogue with yourself about it as if you’re watching yourself from above. “Gee that’s interesting. I’m feeling a little nervous about that meeting I have tomorrow and here I am holding a chocolate donut in my kitchen. Wow, I sure have done this many times before. It’s funny. I do really want this donut right now and I’m not even sure why. I wonder what’s going on? My muscles feel a bit tight. I’m thinking about what I’m going to say at the meeting and who will be there. I’m a little uncomfortable, but it’s not really that bad.” The third step is to practice walking away from the kitchen and considering an alternative to eating that actually better addresses the emotion you’re experiencing. While chocolate donuts may taste good and eating one may temporarily provide a calming effect, it also provides a whole lot of unnecessary calories and chocolate donuts have never been clinically proven to enhance one’s ability to prepare for a business meeting. Depending on the emotion, there are a number of strategies that could be helpful. Some strategies help with many emotions. Going for a walk, calling a friend, and trying a brief relaxation strategy can help with anxiety, depression and anger. There are an endless number of strategies that you can discover that actually help reduce the emotional upset you are experiencing much better than eating and with fewer weight and health consequences. This is a big leap for many people. We hold emotions to be sacred and mysterious things and while they are a special part of the human experience, with regards to eating it may be helpful to think of them as just another cue or stimulus…no different than watching television. If you can make that leap then it’s just a matter of becoming more aware of when eating in response to emotions is occurring and learning new responses to replace eating as a means of coping. You’ll feel better that you did!

What is a resolution anyway? A resolution is a formal expression of opinion or intention. It is kind of like saying “I intend to lose weight.” Many a famous quote has included references to problems with “good intentions,” all of which conclude that good intentions are of little benefit without follow through. The concept of making resolutions is an ancient one, often involving making promises to a higher power. In modern times, the resolutions we make on New Year’s Day are typically ones we make to ourselves. However, whether we call them resolutions or promises, they often become dashed hopes and dreams that crumble within a few weeks. To keep to your resolutions, you’re going to need a really good plan. Fortunately, there are well-studied methods to increase your chances of success. The first, and perhaps most important question to ask yourself is, “Am I really ready to begin?” This may be the #1 reason New Year’s resolutions fail…you simply were not mentally prepared to start. Think about it for a second. Why New Years Day? Sure, it’s a new year…a clean slate…a fresh start….but it’s silly to assume that just because 2014 has become 2015 that you’re magically prepared to make the big audacious changes that resolutions generally involve. Ask yourself how confident you are that this time you’re going to be successful. Are you 80% confident, 50% confident, even less than that? Have you prepared? Do you have a well-conceived plan? If you’re not very confident, it makes more sense to dedicate more time to thinking about what has and has not worked in the past and what needs to be done differently this time. It would be much better to have 80% confidence and start on your resolution on February 1st than to start today with 25% confidence. If you are confident and feel ready to go, begin by eliminating the concept of resolutions altogether. Remember, a resolution is only an intention or a promise not a plan. Instead, think of setting goals. There’s a great deal of research on how to set better and more achievable goals. A common acronym used for well-set goals is “SMART,” which stands for goals that are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based. So let’s use America’s number #1 New Year’s Resolution, losing weight, as an example. Specific could mean identifying the actual amount of weight you intend to lose. It could also refer to specifying exactly what foods you intend to increase or decrease in your diet. Better than saying “I will eat less fried foods,” would be saying which specific foods you intend to eat more of in place of fried foods. Perhaps saying “I plan to eat 7-10 servings of fruits and vegetables every day and no more than 5 servings of carbohydrates per day.” Now that’s specific!! I would argue that it is much better to focus on changing your eating behaviors like the ones just described rather than focusing on numbers on a scale. While weighing yourself on occasion may be a necessary evil, it is one that causes many people a tremendous amount of emotion including anxiety, self-loathing and others. Believe it or not, you can lose weight successfully without ever stepping on a scale. Your pants, skirts, suits and blouses will be more than happy to tell you if you’re moving in the right direction. Measurable goals are those that involve numbers. Rather than saying “less” or “more,” use numbers as I did in the example above regarding fruits and vegetables. And if you are someone who feels strongly about stepping on the scale from time to time, that’s a number too. Achievable and Realistic goals are those that consider where you are starting from and what is reasonable given your track record. Rather than shooting for huge audacious goals, think about what you can really commit to doing. A major reason to set small achievable goals is that you get rewarded and feel good about your accomplishments more often. If you feel strongly about a target weight, start with a number that is 5-10 pounds away rather than one 25 or more. If your goal is to lose 5 pounds, you get to feel good 5 times on your way to 25 pounds. If you only feel good when you hit 25 pounds, you only get rewarded once and might lose your motivation along the way. Regarding changing your food choices, if you rarely eat more than one serving of fruits and vegetables per day, setting the goal at 7-10 servings is probably not going to work for you right away. That’s a nice goal to strive for down the road, but it probably makes more sense to shoot for 3-5 at the outset. Even better would be to think about what fruits and vegetables you like or that you think you might like and go from there. Some people can’t even think of 7-10 fruits and vegetables they like! You might just start by trying a few different ones each day to see what’s realistic for you. In that same line of thinking, a great goal might be to commit to bringing two pieces (or small bags) of fruit to work each day. If you have a banana and a small box of raisins with you every day, you’ll be more inclined to eat those than going to the vending machine. Time-based goals have deadlines built in. “I’d like to lose 25 pounds by June 1st.” “I’d like to be regularly eating 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables every day by the end of the summer” are two examples of time-based goals. Deadlines help motivate behavior and they keep your eye on the target. This is why large companies often have short-term goals as well as a “five-year plan.” You need to focus on what you’re doing each day, but also need to look down the road to make sure you’re heading in the right direction. In addition to setting goals that adhere to the SMART rules, there are other criteria of well-set goals to consider. Always set goals for what to do, instead of what not to do. This is often referred to as “the dead person’s rule.” Never set a goal that a dead person could accomplish. A dead person can “not drink soda.” Only a live person can “drink 6-8 cups of water per day.” A dead person can “stop eating fried foods.” Only a live person can “eat 4-5 servings of lean protein per day.” Finally, consider going on record with your goals both to yourself and others. Document your daily behavior and consider telling a few key people about your goals. Why? It enhances your commitment to your goals. Study after study shows that one of the #1 ways to improve your success in losing weight is to write down everything you eat. The accountability factor is certainly one reason, but another is that writing down what you eat is a way of keeping tabs on your behavior. Think about it for a second. Weight loss is actually an outcome measure. It is the end product of your behavior. Losing weight is not a behavior, eating is the behavior…specifically eating less and eating healthier. So if you just kept track of your weight by weighing yourself every day, this would not likely lead to weight loss. It’s changing the behavior of eating that counts. In the age of smart phones, this is becoming quite easy. There are apps that will calculate the calories in the foods you eat for you and set up daily caloric targets to shoot for. If your goals include exercise, there are now at least 100 products out there that can monitor the number of steps you take, your heart rate, even how many times you rolled over in your sleep!! If you’re really committed to your goals, consider making an investment in one of these products to help you along. Regarding telling others about your goals, it’s not so much that you need others to keep and eye on you (which can be a negative factor) but that you can gain their help and support to stay on track. Be thoughtful of who you tell, but your closest friends and family can be a big asset. Studies show that when people pursue goals in groups or with the help of others, they are often more successful than those who go it alone. Also, writing your goals down as well as letting others know about your goals makes them more real. If you think about it, a goal is a very abstract concept. It’s not a tangible item. However, when you write your goals down or tell them to others, they become more real. So, in summary, if you want to have greater success in achieving your New Year’s goals (or resolutions if you must) here is the formula. Write goals that are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based. Also, make sure the goals are stated in terms of what to do rather than what not to do. And finally, give strong consideration to writing your behavior down each day and letting others know about what you are trying to achieve. Best wishes for a happy and successful 2015!

It is now five days into the new year and if you’re like many people, you may be having some difficulty sticking to your resolution to lose weight, improve your diet or increase your exercise. Many studies have been conducted on New Year’s resolutions and the research suggests that approximately 20% of people have broken their New Year’s resolution within a week and that almost 90% fail to keep their resolution for a full year. There are many reasons we struggle to keep our resolutions, including problems with the very concept of what a resolution is as well as how we go about trying to achieve them. What is a resolution anyway? A resolution is a formal expression of opinion or intention. It is kind of like saying “I intend to lose weight.” Many a famous quote has included references to problems with “good intentions,” all of which conclude that good intentions are of little benefit without follow through. The concept of making resolutions is an ancient one, often involving making promises to a higher power. In modern times, the resolutions we make on New Year’s Day are typically ones we make to ourselves. However, whether we call them resolutions or promises, they often become dashed hopes and dreams that crumble within a few weeks. To keep to your resolutions, you’re going to need a really good plan. Fortunately, there are well-studied methods to increase your chances of success. The first, and perhaps most important question to ask yourself is, “Am I really ready to begin?” This may be the #1 reason New Year’s resolutions fail…you simply were not mentally prepared to start. Think about it for a second. Why New Years Day? Sure, it’s a new year…a clean slate…a fresh start….but it’s silly to assume that just because 2014 has become 2015 that you’re magically prepared to make the big audacious changes that resolutions generally involve. Ask yourself how confident you are that this time you’re going to be successful. Are you 80% confident, 50% confident, even less than that? Have you prepared? Do you have a well-conceived plan? If you’re not very confident, it makes more sense to dedicate more time to thinking about what has and has not worked in the past and what needs to be done differently this time. It would be much better to have 80% confidence and start on your resolution on February 1st than to start today with 25% confidence. If you are confident and feel ready to go, begin by eliminating the concept of resolutions altogether. Remember, a resolution is only an intention or a promise not a plan. Instead, think of setting goals. There’s a great deal of research on how to set better and more achievable goals. A common acronym used for well-set goals is “SMART,” which stands for goals that are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based. So let’s use America’s number #1 New Year’s Resolution, losing weight, as an example. Specific could mean identifying the actual amount of weight you intend to lose. It could also refer to specifying exactly what foods you intend to increase or decrease in your diet. Better than saying “I will eat less fried foods,” would be saying which specific foods you intend to eat more of in place of fried foods. Perhaps saying “I plan to eat 7-10 servings of fruits and vegetables every day and no more than 5 servings of carbohydrates per day.” Now that’s specific!! I would argue that it is much better to focus on changing your eating behaviors like the ones just described rather than focusing on numbers on a scale. While weighing yourself on occasion may be a necessary evil, it is one that causes many people a tremendous amount of emotion including anxiety, self-loathing and others. Believe it or not, you can lose weight successfully without ever stepping on a scale. Your pants, skirts, suits and blouses will be more than happy to tell you if you’re moving in the right direction. Measurable goals are those that involve numbers. Rather than saying “less” or “more,” use numbers as I did in the example above regarding fruits and vegetables. And if you are someone who feels strongly about stepping on the scale from time to time, that’s a number too. Achievable and Realistic goals are those that consider where you are starting from and what is reasonable given your track record. Rather than shooting for huge audacious goals, think about what you can really commit to doing. A major reason to set small achievable goals is that you get rewarded and feel good about your accomplishments more often. If you feel strongly about a target weight, start with a number that is 5-10 pounds away rather than one 25 or more. If your goal is to lose 5 pounds, you get to feel good 5 times on your way to 25 pounds. If you only feel good when you hit 25 pounds, you only get rewarded once and might lose your motivation along the way. Regarding changing your food choices, if you rarely eat more than one serving of fruits and vegetables per day, setting the goal at 7-10 servings is probably not going to work for you right away. That’s a nice goal to strive for down the road, but it probably makes more sense to shoot for 3-5 at the outset. Even better would be to think about what fruits and vegetables you like or that you think you might like and go from there. Some people can’t even think of 7-10 fruits and vegetables they like! You might just start by trying a few different ones each day to see what’s realistic for you. In that same line of thinking, a great goal might be to commit to bringing two pieces (or small bags) of fruit to work each day. If you have a banana and a small box of raisins with you every day, you’ll be more inclined to eat those than going to the vending machine. Time-based goals have deadlines built in. “I’d like to lose 25 pounds by June 1st.” “I’d like to be regularly eating 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables every day by the end of the summer” are two examples of time-based goals. Deadlines help motivate behavior and they keep your eye on the target. This is why large companies often have short-term goals as well as a “five-year plan.” You need to focus on what you’re doing each day, but also need to look down the road to make sure you’re heading in the right direction. In addition to setting goals that adhere to the SMART rules, there are other criteria of well-set goals to consider. Always set goals for what to do, instead of what not to do. This is often referred to as “the dead person’s rule.” Never set a goal that a dead person could accomplish. A dead person can “not drink soda.” Only a live person can “drink 6-8 cups of water per day.” A dead person can “stop eating fried foods.” Only a live person can “eat 4-5 servings of lean protein per day.” Finally, consider going on record with your goals both to yourself and others. Document your daily behavior and consider telling a few key people about your goals. Why? It enhances your commitment to your goals. Study after study shows that one of the #1 ways to improve your success in losing weight is to write down everything you eat. The accountability factor is certainly one reason, but another is that writing down what you eat is a way of keeping tabs on your behavior. Think about it for a second. Weight loss is actually an outcome measure. It is the end product of your behavior. Losing weight is not a behavior, eating is the behavior…specifically eating less and eating healthier. So if you just kept track of your weight by weighing yourself every day, this would not likely lead to weight loss. It’s changing the behavior of eating that counts. In the age of smart phones, this is becoming quite easy. There are apps that will calculate the calories in the foods you eat for you and set up daily caloric targets to shoot for. If your goals include exercise, there are now at least 100 products out there that can monitor the number of steps you take, your heart rate, even how many times you rolled over in your sleep!! If you’re really committed to your goals, consider making an investment in one of these products to help you along. Regarding telling others about your goals, it’s not so much that you need others to keep and eye on you (which can be a negative factor) but that you can gain their help and support to stay on track. Be thoughtful of who you tell, but your closest friends and family can be a big asset. Studies show that when people pursue goals in groups or with the help of others, they are often more successful than those who go it alone. Also, writing your goals down as well as letting others know about your goals makes them more real. If you think about it, a goal is a very abstract concept. It’s not a tangible item. However, when you write your goals down or tell them to others, they become more real. So, in summary, if you want to have greater success in achieving your New Year’s goals (or resolutions if you must) here is the formula. Write goals that are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based. Also, make sure the goals are stated in terms of what to do rather than what not to do. And finally, give strong consideration to writing your behavior down each day and letting others know about what you are trying to achieve. Best wishes for a happy and successful 2015!

Despite the fact that losing weight would have so many health benefits; our brains seem to have no interest in helping. In the battle to lose weight, your brain is not your ally. Your brain wants chocolate, potato chips and pizza, not the fruits, vegetables and grilled fish we know would be healthier for us. The struggle to lose weight demonstrates the reluctance our brains seem to have to learn new behaviors when it is comfortable with the old ones. But why? One reason, albeit perhaps not the whole story, is that brains are lazy. Brains don’t seem terribly motivated to learn new habits. Once we learn to do something that either provides pleasure or avoids pain, the brain just wants to keep doing the same old thing. The brain does not urge you to go out of your way to do things differently when the current way is fine. The brain wants to put as much of our behavior on autopilot as possible. Consider this. How much of your daily behavior occurs with no thought whatsoever? It’s much more than you may wish to believe. When you walk down a flight of stairs do you have to decide which foot to move next or do you just seem to glide downward effortlessly? Ever arrive at work after a 30-minute drive and not remember over half of the details of your commute? How did you remember to stop at the red lights? How do you avoid getting into an accident? Like walking downstairs and even driving a car, eating can easily become a mindless activity…from choosing what you eat, to preparing the food, to consuming the entire plate, without a single thought. Similarly, when a behavior becomes part of our repertoire we are very reluctant to change. For example: If you grew up using one brand of toothpaste, it’s very unlikely that you will switch to another in the future. Marketing experts know that changing brand loyalty is extremely difficult. Coke drinkers usually stay Coke drinkers and Pepsi drinkers usually remain Pepsi drinkers. While we would honestly like to believe that we make willful choices at every turn, more often than not the reason we do what we do is because that’s what we’ve always done. It’s not really a free choice at all. The complexities of the brain will continue to be explored for many years and while we may never fully understand how to control each of the areas within the brain that affects our eating behavior, the good news is that we do have the ability to change our brains…by changing our behavior. Although your brain may not want to change on its own volition, with a concerted effort you can make it change. It’s called learning. Learning occurs when we discover something new. Learning is change. It’s figuring out the solution to a problem for the very first time. Once you know how to do something correctly, there is no more learning…its just repetition and autopilot. Ironically, all of your bad eating habits were learned to. You would never crave pizza if you had never tried it. You can’t crave what you’ve never tasted. Cravings are learned. Earlier I mentioned that your brain doesn’t want to change, which is true. But if you put in the time and effort, our brains are quite malleable to acquiring new skills. The premise is really quite simple, but if you listen to how people explain why they do what they do, you might be confused. Many folks seem to believe that our feelings govern our actions. When asked why he didn’t take out the garbage, the young boy replied, “I didn’t feel like it.” When asked why she didn’t accept the invitation to go to the party, the woman said, “I wasn’t in the mood.” When asked why he couldn’t go on stage, the man replied, “I was too nervous.” One could falsely be led to believe that changing behavior requires changing one’s mood or emotions. While a change in our emotions clearly would help change behavior, it is often a very unreliable method for doing so. We can’t control our emotions very easily, but we can change control the other two aspects of our human experience…our thoughts and behaviors. Stated differently, “To change a thought, move a muscle.” To lose weight, you must become aware of as many of the “cues” or “triggers” that influence your eating as possible. These are the things that “push your buttons” to eat. Keep a journal and write them all down, especially in the moments before and while eating. Here are some examples: External or Environmental Cues: What food choices were available in your environment? What time of day is it? What day of the week is it? What eating cues are in your environment (television, window shopping)? What foods can you smell in your environment? Where are you? Avoid standing in the kitchen and other food-related areas. Cost. What was on sale in the market? Are you influenced by “new and improved” or other food marketing tricks?” What’s left in the fridge? Social Influences: What are your friends and family eating? Cultural Influences: What food do you have a history of eating? Holidays…special foods for special occasions Internal Cues: Beliefs: Old internalized messages from childhood. “Clean your plate,” “Don’t waste food, there are starving children in Africa.” Self-defeating messages. “What’s the point…I already blew my diet. I might as well eat what I want and start over on Monday.” Biology: What is your current level of hunger? Some foods trigger the desire for others (salt – sweet) Emotions: Current mood state and emotional factors Comfort foods associated with certain emotions or situations Habits: Do you have dietary restrictions (kosher, low-salt)? Learning history…what have you eaten in similar situations in the past? Current and past consequences of eating certain foods. What tastes good? While the above list may look comprehensive, there are others so be eager to discover as many as you can. Then, get started with the process of changing as many triggers associated with eating as you can so that you are making thoughtful decisions every time you eat and are operating on autopilot as little as possible. Making substantial changes in your eating-related behaviors over time will eventually change what your brain asks from you. Your new autopilot will change the foods you crave, your triggers for eating, your food choices and maybe even the way you eat as well. As you develop a comprehensive list of eating cues and triggers, try to employ some of the suggestions below to start making real changes in your eating behavior: Keep a food and eating diary. Write down what you ate, how much, when and what was going on. All of these are triggers you need to recognize and learn to change or control. Formalize your eating. Plan your meals and snacks so you can be focused, rather than eating when you “feel” like it. Rehearse reasons for improving eating habits…why am I doing this? Change and control as many food-related cues in your environment as possible. For example: Stop keeping cookies and cake in your house if you really don’t want to be eating them. Put less on your plate. Many people are “see-food” eaters. They see food and they eat it. See less…eat less. This helps the “clean your plate” problem. Eat slowly: Be mindful while you eat and avoid engaging in other activities so you can “tune in” to your body. If you read or watch television, you are focusing on those things…not signals of fullness, satiety and satisfaction. Discover alternatives for emotional eating and bored eating It’s hardly a quick fix and it is admittedly easier said than done, but with consistent effort, you can learn to partner with your brain rather than battle with it and accomplish your weight loss and weight maintenance goals. Keep up the fight!

Attempting to lose weight can be thought of as engaging in a complicated battle with your brain. Consider all of the various factors that are involved: hunger, cravings, appetite, emotions, memories, environmental cues...the list is seemingly endless. Neuroscientists tell us that these factors are controlled by many different parts of our brain, making it even more complicated. This helps explain why the quest for a truly effective weight loss drug has been so elusive. The drug would have to address so many different parts of the brain to truly hit every target. Not an easy task. Despite the fact that losing weight would have so many health benefits; our brains seem to have no interest in helping. In the battle to lose weight, your brain is not your ally. Your brain wants chocolate, potato chips and pizza, not the fruits, vegetables and grilled fish we know would be healthier for us. The struggle to lose weight demonstrates the reluctance our brains seem to have to learn new behaviors when it is comfortable with the old ones. But why? One reason, albeit perhaps not the whole story, is that brains are lazy. Brains don’t seem terribly motivated to learn new habits. Once we learn to do something that either provides pleasure or avoids pain, the brain just wants to keep doing the same old thing. The brain does not urge you to go out of your way to do things differently when the current way is fine. The brain wants to put as much of our behavior on autopilot as possible. Consider this. How much of your daily behavior occurs with no thought whatsoever? It’s much more than you may wish to believe. When you walk down a flight of stairs do you have to decide which foot to move next or do you just seem to glide downward effortlessly? Ever arrive at work after a 30-minute drive and not remember over half of the details of your commute? How did you remember to stop at the red lights? How do you avoid getting into an accident? Like walking downstairs and even driving a car, eating can easily become a mindless activity…from choosing what you eat, to preparing the food, to consuming the entire plate, without a single thought. Similarly, when a behavior becomes part of our repertoire we are very reluctant to change. For example: If you grew up using one brand of toothpaste, it’s very unlikely that you will switch to another in the future. Marketing experts know that changing brand loyalty is extremely difficult. Coke drinkers usually stay Coke drinkers and Pepsi drinkers usually remain Pepsi drinkers. While we would honestly like to believe that we make willful choices at every turn, more often than not the reason we do what we do is because that’s what we’ve always done. It’s not really a free choice at all. The complexities of the brain will continue to be explored for many years and while we may never fully understand how to control each of the areas within the brain that affects our eating behavior, the good news is that we do have the ability to change our brains…by changing our behavior. Although your brain may not want to change on its own volition, with a concerted effort you can make it change. It’s called learning. Learning occurs when we discover something new. Learning is change. It’s figuring out the solution to a problem for the very first time. Once you know how to do something correctly, there is no more learning…its just repetition and autopilot. Ironically, all of your bad eating habits were learned to. You would never crave pizza if you had never tried it. You can’t crave what you’ve never tasted. Cravings are learned. Earlier I mentioned that your brain doesn’t want to change, which is true. But if you put in the time and effort, our brains are quite malleable to acquiring new skills. The premise is really quite simple, but if you listen to how people explain why they do what they do, you might be confused. Many folks seem to believe that our feelings govern our actions. When asked why he didn’t take out the garbage, the young boy replied, “I didn’t feel like it.” When asked why she didn’t accept the invitation to go to the party, the woman said, “I wasn’t in the mood.” When asked why he couldn’t go on stage, the man replied, “I was too nervous.” One could falsely be led to believe that changing behavior requires changing one’s mood or emotions. While a change in our emotions clearly would help change behavior, it is often a very unreliable method for doing so. We can’t control our emotions very easily, but we can change control the other two aspects of our human experience…our thoughts and behaviors. Stated differently, “To change a thought, move a muscle.” To lose weight, you must become aware of as many of the “cues” or “triggers” that influence your eating as possible. These are the things that “push your buttons” to eat. Keep a journal and write them all down, especially in the moments before and while eating. Here are some examples: External or Environmental Cues: What food choices were available in your environment? What time of day is it? What day of the week is it? What eating cues are in your environment (television, window shopping)? What foods can you smell in your environment? Where are you? Avoid standing in the kitchen and other food-related areas. Cost. What was on sale in the market? Are you influenced by “new and improved” or other food marketing tricks?” What’s left in the fridge? Social Influences: What are your friends and family eating? Cultural Influences: What food do you have a history of eating? Holidays…special foods for special occasions Internal Cues: Beliefs: Old internalized messages from childhood. “Clean your plate,” “Don’t waste food, there are starving children in Africa.” Self-defeating messages. “What’s the point…I already blew my diet. I might as well eat what I want and start over on Monday.” Biology: What is your current level of hunger? Some foods trigger the desire for others (salt – sweet) Emotions: Current mood state and emotional factors Comfort foods associated with certain emotions or situations Habits: Do you have dietary restrictions (kosher, low-salt)? Learning history…what have you eaten in similar situations in the past? Current and past consequences of eating certain foods. What tastes good? While the above list may look comprehensive, there are others so be eager to discover as many as you can. Then, get started with the process of changing as many triggers associated with eating as you can so that you are making thoughtful decisions every time you eat and are operating on autopilot as little as possible. Making substantial changes in your eating-related behaviors over time will eventually change what your brain asks from you. Your new autopilot will change the foods you crave, your triggers for eating, your food choices and maybe even the way you eat as well. As you develop a comprehensive list of eating cues and triggers, try to employ some of the suggestions below to start making real changes in your eating behavior: Keep a food and eating diary. Write down what you ate, how much, when and what was going on. All of these are triggers you need to recognize and learn to change or control. Formalize your eating. Plan your meals and snacks so you can be focused, rather than eating when you “feel” like it. Rehearse reasons for improving eating habits…why am I doing this? Change and control as many food-related cues in your environment as possible. For example: Stop keeping cookies and cake in your house if you really don’t want to be eating them. Put less on your plate. Many people are “see-food” eaters. They see food and they eat it. See less…eat less. This helps the “clean your plate” problem. Eat slowly: Be mindful while you eat and avoid engaging in other activities so you can “tune in” to your body. If you read or watch television, you are focusing on those things…not signals of fullness, satiety and satisfaction. Discover alternatives for emotional eating and bored eating It’s hardly a quick fix and it is admittedly easier said than done, but with consistent effort, you can learn to partner with your brain rather than battle with it and accomplish your weight loss and weight maintenance goals. Keep up the fight!