Frustr8

And I surely hope and pray it is, nothing to PooPoo, had a cousin with esophageal carcinoma, wonder if she had Barrets before and ignored it, just know she died on the table at Cleveland Clinic, 68 years old, couldn't be saved and I still miss her dearly after 2 years. My first cousin, perhaps I never will stop, but her death made me seek a bypass even more fervently. May you have the peace in death June-Ellen you did not have in Life!

Always wanted to ask someone, how did Fuquay Varina get its name? Not the first time I have seen that name.

Refute not Repute, gosh I hate the demon in this Smartphone, no matter what I key in, it says what it wants to, usually corrects after I push "Send"

I feel worse if I eat than if I don't. Hope that doesn't mean I'm teetering on the brink of anorexia. After being accused of gluttony so long " She could lose that weight, She LIKES being so fat!" that would be the Universe reaking it's revenge. Maybe get out a chilled protein shake, and add my morning dose of Miralax. After the Grand Purging Enema of Milk and Molasses last Friday afternoon, I have not had anything except flatus and loose mucus since Saturday morning. Oh I hope I have not dropped into Same Old Same Old. Been back to double Miralax, have Ducolax and M..O.M. in reserve. Should i invest in Colace? Believe I can take the pills but liquid made me So So Sick when I was in OSU last November receiving my PICC line et cetera. Maybe my destiny is to be a Little Old Lady Full of S***, even started. to start eating the mashed up veggies from my soups. What next? Would love to eat Bran Cereal, somebody told me a full cup would make me a Regular Woman, difficult when you ingest 2-3 oz a feeding. Maybe go talk to PCP, not booked in at Bariatric Clinic until June/July EGJ/Endoscopy, they all keep telling me I am doing Wonderful, well my colon stays Full, not sure of the Wonder part?💩I think maybe my rectal muscles are tired, maybe shot so bad they don't want to contract and push. So peristalsis packs me full but my anus just has snapped tightly shut! At least that is my Working Theory, can anybody repute it?

Wish I lived there instead of in Ohio, I would walk in a New York minute with you. Do hope you find someone soon, burden shared only weigh half as much!

Belly still a little pouchy, Boobs are deflated tube socks, barely a C, I thought I was losing weight to no longer be built like the Great Pyramid of Egypt, I think I still look like Pharoahs could. be buried in my hips and thighs, but we are always harder on ourselves. I am starting to get How Good You Look, nobody knows the areas rolled up and stuffed into my outfits. My Dirty Little Secrets, LOL😛

Well yeah, as I unpack last summer's not a thing fits, even my shorts fall down, maybe head for the clearance racks, hopefully I get there before all the other Chubby Tubbies, I sure can't afford full retail if I might be that size a month or 6 weeks only. Local 2nd-hand stores even have raised prices, $7 for obviouslywell- worn 👖 jeans, somebody is writing me a Reality Check.

My doctor's standard rule, 10% of excess weight, but a firm suggestion not an Iron-clad rule.

Yeah , my cat Squeaky just came in to check why I am not up yet. She is a great listener, as long as I keep in mind she is cute and the center of the universe. She always has been self-assured by nature, me? I'm not always THAT BRAVE, maybe too many years of being told " Don't be uppity, nobody will love you, let alone put up with YOU!" Always tried to relate better to my own children, that way the thinking would die with me. Odd isn't it, we do our level best to shield them from the sorrows,we have had, meantime they are exposed to others. Shame people don't come with Owners Manuals, perhaps we have to each write our own as life goes on? Medicare sent me a letter, wants me t9 re- emburse them to the tune of $20,000, my Insurance settlement was no where near that much and I had to pay my disability lawyer a Third of That, had utilities to catch up, had been paying them minimum to keep things running, to give that agency THAT much, I would have to live much past 100 in a house without lights, heat and no way to converse with the outside world. I believe that might be called a "chicken coop". Move over Rooster, Mama"s moving in! Oh well, let's see what ToDay has in store for me? 11 AM appointment with Speech Therapist, trying not to have a voice like Bill Clinton. Then at 2 PM an dental appointment with new dentist, Tomkittens up and retired, turned his practice over to younger Dude, our first opportunity to meet and greet him.And my medication app just reminded me to get up and take my 8 AM meds. Dr Noria just thinks my pouch is doing well, I know better, the ulcer discomfort is STILL THERE! Some days I wonder if I will have that forever and end up no further than a Mechanical Soft diet?

And I think it tasted better and fresher. I made tapioca pudding, 1%milk, sweetened with Stevia, no eggs, I STILL can't handle eggs even in things. Too bad, I do make a lovely pseudo- omelet, scrambled egg thingie that Tomkitten just loves, either homemade biscuits or toast on the side and he practically purrs. I'm down to 214.6, over 100 pounds less than my SD, that was at 319. See it can be done, even for someone Old as Dirt (73) and before long you ladies will be joining me! Stay committed, stay righteous and it will be here before you know!

There are days I cater my own pity party, feel like I am starving in the the Land of Plenty, there were even days when I was tempted and gave in to trying to eat my son's more normal diet. Didn't work, more than 4 oz ingested and up it all comes. And I look pathetic, I sound pathetic, rather like a large cat with a hairball, choking. When you have a stomach the size of an egg, even a hen-egg Jumbo, you just don't havecenoygh stomach to build up speed for Projectile Vomitting. Don't know if VSG patients have any more force in their " banana" just personal experience of my bypass. And I do get weary and weak afterwards, my teeny tummy hurts like a son-of-gun, my ulcers say " Let us join in throbbing!" so it does not pay for me v to try to exceed my limits. Many can eat past their surgical restraint, even stretch things out a little. But Boy-oh- Boy, not yours truly. I'm more restrained than handcuffs and leg irons. But it has enabled me to lose the weight I NEVER could before. I am nearly as small as I was when first married, and that was 1967, certainly smaller than when I delivered Tomkitten 40 years ago, funny ,he was my Biggest Baby, 9 1/2 pounds, but I was the smallest post- birth. So I plan to see how low I can go until my body says "No Mas" and I go into my maintainance stage.

Yep, let's.say the protein in the cheese outweighs the wheat- bearing crust, sound good?

Yeah I would say hiatal hernia or GERD that went away. Did you know many doctors say night-time reflux is a cause of asthma? Yep that's what their research shows!

And you didn't have to wait clear into Christmas to get a new toy, I think that is pretty cool!

Yep a smile of victory there. Another thought: Haters, like parrots, talk much but cannot fly Dreamers, like Eagles, say nothing but conquer the skies. So spread your wings, my friends, and fly!

And Thursday night I took M.O.M, Friday morning a Fleets Enema, Friday afternoon having a Milk and Molasses enema at my local hospital. And at 3:04 pm Blessed Relief but I'm not sure where I had stored ALL THAT because it looked like I emptied Multiple Feet! Take your Miralax, take your Colace, get enough fiber in your Diet, drink plenty of fluids, YOU DO NOT WANT TO FOLLOW IN MY QUAVERING FOOTSTEPS! 💩🍹💩

Thank You Vavoon! It's been quiet but still good. Didn't hear from RD, rotten daughter, did see her the other day at WallyWorld, all she could think about was she hoped I had a buriel plot so she wouldn't have to worry. No chance of that, Tomkitten knows what I want and where, just like I do for him. So I guess she figures she doesn't have to call or text me today. Her loss but I'm no longer crying about it. Fear, years and sorrow , don't let them in anymore!

Well Louisville is a little farther South than I am, maybe it is warm enough in Kentucky but it's only 50 outside here, no nude dancing for me until July, besides I have enough loose skin to make flapping sounds. But I am less than 15 pounds to go so I hope to join you in a Victory Dance pretty soon!

Gaby I started at 365+, was still 319 at surgery, now 8.5 months later I am 214.6, size 18 and Onderland ahead. I am Old As Dirt(73) if I can I know you can also! Let's keep slimming down together, Deal?

I am rapidly running out of clothes that fit, been taking out and switching spring/summer for all those winter things I am so sick of. And nothing from last year now fits, oh yeah I did want to eliminate my fat bulges, guess it's Goodwill time, big items in. and then maybe a few more things bought, but I am not spending 1st run things when I may be "undergrowing" them quickly. Size 18 and Onderland, I am going to be making your acquaintances soon!

There are days when I absolutely amaze ME There are also days when I put the laundry in the oven.

The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second is being happy and also satisfied with what you find.

Not even sure if she is still active. Bet Alex Brecher and Ken might know, not sure if they are monitoring on Mother's Day.

Well you are and we're a survivor. No matter what you endured, you are a Strong Wonderful person and I count myself lucky to have met you! Happy Mother's Day, Happy Proud Grammy Day, like the old Timex commercials You have taken a licking and kept on Ticking! You mourn your relationship with Mama, well I mourn the Man the Late Lamented turned into in his later years. I wish he could be proud of and for me, but I suspect he might still come up with something snide and hurtful. Butt I'm shaking off the bad memories and I will still be the Frustr8 I am convinced I can be. What will my finish be? No matter what, I am so much stronger and better than ever before in my life! I just wish somebody I loved was here to share it with me. All my aunt's and uncles are gone, I have 2 uncle's widows left, not real close to one. This woman showed up at my Son's Calling Hours, stated " I suppose I should tell you I'm sorry your son died," My answer? "Not if you don't really mean it, if not please leave now!" I had enough class to not break down crying in front of people, but why would she say such a thing? I would never say such a vile thing about the Hulses, her people. And if and when she dies, I undoubtedly will attend no calling hours, wakes or burials of her. I am a little too proud to humble myself in that way.

More soup in the Crock pot today, that's what I handle best, I know Roy my dietician is hoping i'll move on to more grown-up levels, but after the calamities I have endured emulating someone else, it just may not happen yet. Trying to be someone else is demeaning to me, I too have my place in the Universe. I was not created to be average--'I AM AWESOME in my own right!