Frustr8

And may you find it to be everything you've dreamed of! Update is when everything is completed, we've missed your Sunny Smile!😛

Well I always was proportioned, instead of 34-24-36 I was more like 68- 44-68 , now who knows? Haven't measured me there, now I think I'm starting to look tiny, God Knows my forearms and neck are, look like an Old Lady, OMG I'm 73, I am an Old Lady, atent I ? Well I used to be able to pass for early to mid 50s, now I pass pretty well for Road Kill, at least the ones who aren't totally smashed! Tomkitten says I am getting my "cute" back, of course he knows, if he offends me , he does his own cooking. And his speciality is Grilled Cheese sandwiches.

I am even farther out, 9 monthsn my same complication as Briswife started at under 3 weeks, confirmed at 1st endoscopym They didn't believe me, tried to tell me I just had remaining surgical swelling. And my stricture doesn't seem to want to leave me. I Have been on Carafate since then, let's see, I started it October 12th it's almost June 12th so 8 months? How do I like it? Well it has become second nature like most of my other meds, I take it 6AM, noon, 6 PM and Midnight. I would complaint it keeps me from sleeping but I wasn't sleeping that solid anyway. I take the pill Forman mainly because my Medicare Part D medication insurance provider is too dang cheap to grant me the liquid. With. the pills, you dissolve it in water, my surgeon told me originally boiling but it will disolve in room temprature, just takes a little longer, stir up the slurry I usually drink,it down before it stops moving, if you wait it takes 2 medicine cups of water to get it all, I liken the taste to white flour water, not especially lovely. Although I am still ulcerated the few times I am late they hurt more. And although most people after having their stomas stretched get all better, I believe Briswife' s has progressed I nay be the exception to the rule. Every time they try to dialate it ,seems prone to snap shut. But this Wednesday we shall try again, I'm assigned a different doctor for this one. I believe it is my 12th or 13th EGJ, see when you're post RNY they look at.your esophagus, stomach pouch and your jejunem, the second part of your small intestine that your pouch attaches to, you never can see your duodenum and residual stomach again without a lot of fancy-pants maneuvering or being. cut open with a open incision. I just read recently some. of the surgeons can still do it laprascopically. But I remain optimistic, I believe I still will be repaired, even if it takes more surgery, even if it is an "open" incision, that's how my galk- bladder and appendix were removed, that was before laprascopic was prevalent. I know how long it takes for an abdominal incision to heal, and, although they vastly prefer to do things laprascopically, every surgeon worth their salt knows how to do things the other, and you really can see things perfect with it. In the meantime I am still stuck on thin- like purees, broths/soups, protein shakes. Doesn't sound too fun? Well I'm used to it, I make sure I take all my vitamins and other meds, stri protein powder into every thing where it doesn't occur naturally. Still taking a PPI, omeprazole DOES NOT WORK for me, in fact every ulceration I have had was while on omeprazole so I am on Dexilent, the Ferarri of PPIs, would cost over $300 monthly without insurance, I am lucky I only pay a $6 co-pay. Still also take Zofran, if I try cutting it back the vomiting returns in force. Now for the thing which is good and keeps me moving forward! I have lost almost 120 pounds since surgery, 165 since my highest weight in October 2017. And I needed badly to lose the weight. I have had arthiritis since age 25, in fact I had to stop having babies after 3 because my hipbones were starting to spot-weld, any more would have been C section and with my weight, although I was not quite as big, I was still a Big Girl. And although I did finally have to have both knees replaced , they hurt a lot less now. I can do things better, move quicker, maybe now I could escape fires. Since my surgery I have been much more vigilant about my health status, had many more testing done, found some minor things that had been hiding, No Big Thing , they are all managed now. Before I was a Walking Time Bomb- in my family we had ❤disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, depressions- it was by God's Grace I dodged as many of those bullets as I did. My PCO was threatening I would not make it to 75, would be wheelchair- dependant because my joints were screaming No More No More! Now I am ready to drop into a size 18 after being a 28- 30 womens. To be honest I mostly wore mens sweats in the autumn, winter and into spring, even Wal-Mart didn't have that big a selection in that big a size! And my quality of Life was bottoming out, didn't get up if I didn't have to, didn't walk if I could stand still, didn't stand still if I could sit, and why sit if I could lie back down? Figured I was rated to just die, so stop moving so the Death Angel could find me! Then I heard from someone about Bariatric Surgery, asked my PCP and , surprise , he said I should at least try. And if I was going to die anyway, what did I have to lose? If died on the Operating table, at least I would have died trying, and my life wasn't that great anyhow. Do I started seeking, most places seemed to say I was too dang old, well my red-headed stubborness was firing up! How dare they say i wasnt good enough, deserving enough, worthy of their time? I went through one program not once, but twice, quite a backstory there, only to be refused by their head surgeon! Did ibstop there? Nope! Fueled by the fact that Dr Doofus and his minions bled so much insurance monies off and then said I WAS DEFECTIVE! I had known these people for 2 and a half years and now they're trying to say there is Something Wrong with ME? Their diagnostic skills seemed pretty crappy to ME. So I set out on my Fact- Finding Journey. I had taken my PCP at his word that Program #1 would be best for ME, Now I would search for the ONE best for ME! And why not the Premier, the one I truly wanted, the one centered at our Land Grant university, the place I had even once dreamed of being educated at, the Ohio State University, well I went to their seminar in March 2018, after being " kicked to the curb" by Program 1 in February, and my oh my I Liked What I Heard!! Program #1 had assigned me someone now I could make a chouce! Pulled up their bios and studied them like finals, well in a way that WAS what this was, instead of risking a career I would be risking my LIFE! And then waited for a call- back, I. wanted THEM but did they want ME? Didn't have a very long wait, maybe 5- 6 days, and not only did they WANT ME, they wanted to work with me to make it a Good Experience! And I had made sure I had excellent references and acknowledgement of all the pre- consults I had already done. Wasn't too difficult because I had an excellent lawyer in Columbus, and there was something not kosher with these people, at the very least a breach of trust if not promise. And since they didn't want their dirty laundry examined..... Anyway the next month I met with a Staff Psychologist who just happened to be a specialist in a condition I have which was not public knowledge, perfect recommendation, next month met dietician and exercise physiologist and nurse-practioner, met again with her for a more in depth in late May/ early June, still everybody wanted ME, didn't think I was neither foolish or too old for seeking this, they met with my surgeon, the one I CHOSE in July, had a PreSurgical exam, found little to Barr me, actually something I could repair myself, a fatty liver,went on the luver- shrinking Diet for the entire month of August, made my liver shrink and look beautiful, lostc15 pounds, ME with the Basal Metabolism of a Sick Sea 🐌 Snail. And on September 5th 2018 I received my RNY from my chosen surgeon, The Chairman and top dog of Bariatric Medicine and Metabolic Weight Loss, yeah the Big Kahuna, Bradley J Needleman MD. Gave me a surgery with 7 tiny slits, basically pain-free and the Start of a New Life for ME. And I shall be incredibly grateful to him and Ohio State , and if i require more surgery I am safe within his hands! And I gave absolutely no fear, come what may! I know this is LONG but I did want to explain, give a little shout-out to my wonderful hospital and staffm Probably my problems re just that I healed funny, but I still trust things are going to work out just fine for ME.😛👍And 8 am so incredibly lucky🍀to have this chance for a future!

I just thought of another one, to take a sit-down bath,not displace so much water must be nice to not see the water rise so much you're not afraid it will over- flow. And then after soaking in the warm relaxing water, to not have to call someone to pop you free enough that you can get out. Maybe,i should continue being a shower-er and just let the warm spray rain down on my sore areas, but dang it, I want it all!

Looks like several from Louisiana now.Must be a beautiful place to live, always pretty on Duck Dynasty, especially the river they show.

Hope your pain leaves soon and becomes a distant memory!

Yah one of those home shopping networks with a courtesy card. I owed them a small amount, missed a payment and now they keep adding a service charge. I am more than willing to remit the small amount owed not the hundreds they are trying to " Highway Rob" from me! I am a fair person,they are not! Curses on you, Comedity!

Maybe the loss of fat all over your body instead of a blood dyscrasia . I have been having bruising without remembering any bumps, falls or trauma that could produce it. My PCP just laughed, said it probably is just a facet of getting older, not only have you diminished your fat padding but your skin is naturally much thinner. Oh well, my over-active imagination had me developing leukemia, he keeps telling,me my RNY has made me a much healthier person and then immediately sends me off for yet another testing. And I have appointments set,up for my ears and eyes,v2 areas he as yet had missed. I want one of those labels like they put on the inside of car doors stating the date of my Last Servicing! Perhaps center it on my Forehead where everyone can readily see it!😛🌈🌺🌼🌸

And then there is the person who is certain I am dying of cancer. I tried to set her straight that it was a good loss due to Bariatric Surgery only to be told "THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS ADMIT YOU ARE ON CHEMOTHERAPHY!". So I'm sure she's out there , lips a-flapping, telling all our acquaintances " Isn't it a shame about poor Frustr8 dying?" Well whatever-- I know my surgery was done for life and the chance to live it more abundantly! I pray I am given many,more years to l8ve and prove Her Wrong! And her discrediting? Oh that will be an extra added blessing!!!!!!

And I am yearni,g to join you, I am so close, 201.3 this AM, Now I am going to wonder what week it will be, This week? Next week? Maybe the 4th of July? In my family we don't celebrate it so much anymore, oh we do Watch Red, White and Boom, the Giant Fireworks display in Columbus, almost as old as my wonderful Tomkitten! But 7 years ago at 11:15 AM his Dad and the Man I had been married to for 44 years unexpectedly died and it forever mutes the day for us both. Instead of music, barbeques and games that are fun, he and I take a long walk, think about John and why he had to die That Day. And I do try to be less bitter, it turns out the basically died of the Hereditary Kidney Disease that affected many members on his Mama's side. Years ago, when we first were married I asked if he had any of it, had his doctor told him he had a strong risk? He basically told me I was being silly, that he was extremely healthy and not to speak of it again. So, being a good obedient wife, I didn't. People have asked me since I was a near- nurse and a medical geek, how could I not know? He was pretty private about his bathroom habits, I was not even permitted in while he bathed. So what was he doing in there, urinating or what? I certainly didn't know! Not until I was going through his papers, trying to reconcile what debts we still Owens what his death canceled, and luckily his debts to credit and check into Cash people died with him. There was a whole sheaf of paperwork, his doctor, who was not MY doctor had warned him multiple years ago that yes he had that kidney disease , without intervention it would surely kill him. And curses be up in HIPPA, this privacy edict that was put into law, Me, his wife of 44 years, and his son the Tomkitten were not permitted to be told. We had nary a clues and I have thought about this much, I do believe he willfully orchestrated his own suicide! If I had known I would have insisted his duet,be changed to one easier on his body, I would have sought to have him entered in transplant lists, although our blood types were different, I would have donated 1 or 2 of my kidneys for one of these progressive kidney transplant groupings they have at Ohio State, and I am sure a matching one would have been found for him. But he preferred to die to telling me, this hurts, I thought I was his best friend, I had been with him since just before my 22bd birthday, and he l9ved ME so Little? I could handle it if he had been incompetent, his mind not ckear, but he did this with malice in his ❤,,,not caring who he had hurt, it was bad enough he hurt me, but he hurt our son,who had believed implictedly in him and that I find myself not to forgive easily. He hurt my my Baby, no one had carte blanhe to do that! I hate the thought,of losing Heaven because I hold this resentment. But I am not the person my Savior, he could hate the sin and love the siinner, as a,Mortal Woman I find it Hard. But perhaps by then I will achieved Onderland and it will give me a thread of hope I will finally be able to write "1" before my weight. And then I still will try to make it down to the 175 pound Dream Goal I set myself. Will I make it? I plan to unless I die before and at 73 one never knows for certain. But I will,have👣 attempted and maybe that will grant peace no matter what happens!💦😪

And I hope this last month goes smoothly. for all the July Firecrackers! It will be a jot to welcome each and everyone over to the Losers Bench! You know we call it "Loser" but you will gain so much more than you have lost! The Future Hold Bright for You All!😛👍🌈

I hope you have successfully given up the See- Food diet, where you see food and want to eat it! A lot of us were once on THAT ONE!

And if anyone is remotely interested, I still vomit. I eat so slowly things even like soup are ice cold at the end. And after all these blasted scopes my stoma seems to stay strictured, the one I had on April 12th, which was about the time of last posting, Dr N swore my stoma was now patent( doctorese for open) and I should have no more dietary challenges. Ha Ha to the INTH Degree Ha! I will concede she thought she did a good job that day, as she is withdrawing the tubing she undoubtedly is mentally patting herself on the back "Good girl Sabrena, you finally got her fixed and fixed for Good!" And my stoma, if it has a personality is snickering inside me, " Thought she fixed me, I will just snap back shut like a bear trap!" I am an obstructionist!" and of course I tried to branch out that night, and with the usual results. And Dear God I get SO TIRED of this! Now if nothing solider is going tbrough, and I must maintain on broth, soup,some pureed and protein shakes I will make the best of it. I am brewing my own soups, that way I lessen the preservatives, know exactly what went in, even cooked and pureed down I don't add things I have had trouble with in the past. Try to keep things quiet enough my vitamins minerals and ulcer/anti- nausea meds stay down, Of course those who don't know my underlying story, they are certain I am doing wonderous well. And perhaps it does look that way. Meanwhile I am wrapped around a wastebasket or with a plastic vomit bag. Two weeks ago on a Wednesday I was having a especially rotten day, I had barely keep things down for 15 hours, worried I might be getting worse, should I go to local ER which is only marginally fluent with bariatrics, especially RNY bypass and pray they transfer me to Columbus? Well before I commited to such an action, I wanted to speak with my clinic. Oh and I wish I had never picked up the phone! Barely able to talk in between the urping and I got a nurse who accused me of Munchausing, a fancy way of saying I was claiming illness for sympathy and to be the center of the universe. She went on to tell me that I knew doggone well there was NOTHING WRONG with me and that I needed to seek help from my county's Mental health agency, now go away and stop bothering them. This while I was sitting holding a plastic washpan and and you could hear me being sick. Well I do not enjoy this state of affairs, didn't vomit up this much with 3 pregnancies, and it is not something I enjoy, but I am not crazy, and instead of wanting attention I would like to hide in a cave. So I kept moistening my mouth frequently, late evening it started to pass over and before bed I kept down some sugar-free pudding. Better on Thursday but I still went to my PCP, took one lock at me and said Do you realize s i he I last saw you 6 weeks ago you have lost 37 pounds! Yeah no s***, would you be interested in how I did it, since Thing 1 and Thing 2 in Columbus were not? And also am I going Wacky-woo because they tried to convince me I was? Had us a little chat, first he apologized for their actions because that was his Alma Mater, something up to this point he had been proud of. And he said let me help you if they won't, I think you would benefit from seeing our local gastroenterologist, because my gut instinct is there is something else underlying. They called me first the next morning, first gave me an appointment in August, then less than a half- hour later Samantha Doctor' Nurse Practioner called back and told me Dr Upchurch would like to look internally at this, would I object to an endoscopy on the 12th of June? He agreed with my PCP_ (bless his ❤for facilitating this) that this may not be as simplistic as Thing1 and 2 thought, and the extra Cat Scan PCP sent me for at local hospital showed a puffy ileum, at the very least ilietis, and that was still a new facet or brand- New can of worms. Minor chance IBS or Crohns setting in? But don't worry, he was planning to check this all out! Isn't it odd how people drop their BP or Diabetes meds after surgery , it fixes them, meanwhile my saga and testings continue? Definitely not a run of the mill weight loss recovery! Just seems my path in life. And now the urping kid has almost made it down to Onederland, when you started out at 365+, have lost 115 pounds since surgery 9 months ago, that part You Can celebrate, but what a miserable unfunlike way to get there! And 9 months I was hoping to be living the Good Life, cheerfully helping the Newbees and losing my last 25 pounds to goal. Well man may propose but God disposes and not always the way you would expect. So here I am , posting away, I already threw up once today but am trying to stay quiet and minimize the chances of doing it again. And I HOPE Dr Upchurch has good news but I kinda doubt it and I don't have an appointment scheduled with either Dr Needleman or Valerie, his head Nurse-Practioner until Mid-August, is this Benign Neglect or do they just not care anymore? And until, Thing 1 and Thing 2 raised their little heads, I loved and respected every -body in Columbus at the Bariatric Clinic. Those 2 better lay low when I do go back, I could forget Mama raised me to be a lady, eventually I may forgive but Frustr8 NEVER Forgets, especially people who do not have her best interests at ❤! I have lived too long to be so disrespected!

And that's a good thing, isn't it?

YEP,that's where the major pouch- making equipment went in, or so I have been told.

I do still feel my pouch and yes you stated the location perfectly. I feel when Precious Pouch spasms, extreme pain before I regurgitate, and sometimes it is distended enough it feels like festering boil. But the remainder of my natural stomach? It doesn't make its presence known, almost like I was post-VSG and its gone FOREVER. But I have right subcostal pain almost on a continual basis.My Dr Noria states that is my ulcerated jejunem that I feel. 😪😣😪

Interesting-are these just hemoglobin the body did not or could not break down?

Also known as Protonix- works well if needed.

Well I just got through dinner for my son and myself. He had breaded fish with hash brown potatoes and his jalapeno pepper poppers, likes the Farm Rich brand and I made him a tossed salad. Me I had two forks of tilapia., a small section of homemade corn bread and now I feel sick. He had a normal sized piece with melted butter. I guess I'll be up a while, now I feel sick, praying not to throw up the little bit I had. And at 201.3 I am within spitting distance of Onederland. Wish I felt better tonight! Maybe I'll dig out a rantidine if it doesn't feel better soon. Took my Zofran about 45 minutes ago, does not seem to be phasing my tummy tonight. Would like to cry, maybe ulcer pain popping back up, don't think this will be an endoscopy that judges me cleared up. Still mot quite right, call it an gut instinct if you like but I don't think my innards are even going to heal. Told my PCP I feel like I will be a gastrointestinal cripple the rest of my life, told me to just relax and all will be fine. If I kick back any farther I will fall off my seat or go comatose.

Excellent and a shout-out from another bookworm In Ohio. Taught myself to read at 2 1/2, library card at 4, seldom without a book in hand and my tas5as eclectic, read almost every topic. Guess I prefer mysteries, often in foreign settings, but even read cereal boxes if I'm bored. I am a 9 month old RNY, LOST 115 pounds since surgery, mine was not an easy average recovery but whatever, it's my journey and I accept iti!

Muscles cut can give such feelings when you consider all the things they did to your tummy. If you are a little past surgery time also nerves could be re-generating themselves, now you can feel things may be a good sign that things are getti,g better.

I am not a mean and nasty person, but in her case, I would make an exception! I am sure all the nurses now active on Bariatric. Pal are ashamed she was a blot on a normally stellar profession. I know I would be, like my assesment " Did you find yourself missing a nose? If so I just found it, it was located right in the middle of My Business!"

Do you know who is going first? Maybe tell hubs you should, but things are really up to the Bariatric Center. Important thing is YOU BOTH GET DONE, YOU HEAL TOGETHER, YOU BOTH HAVE GOOD LIVES AND A BEAUTIFUL LIFE TOGETHER !

And it's well known you heal much slower with nicotine on board, Is it really worth messing with your healthy and recovery? That said, addictions are hard to handle and terrible to go Cold Turkey from!

If you are eating slowly, not drinking too soon after, not over spiced and foods you have eaten before, then i think you should get some medical help. I have gone through similar but mine was a Strictured RNY pouch with ulcerations in my jejunem- 2nd part of small intestine. I don't believe VSG stricture that much. Of course there is nothing in life impossible, but less likely.