Frustr8

And I wish they hadn't wanted me to crush at the beginning, nobody really asked me if I could swallow whole. Would have saved me wear and tear, all that washing the pill crusher out. Why didn't I go ahead and do what I wanted anyway? Because I believed the promotional literature and leaflets, "Failure to comply insurases a future failure" Well I wanted be no trouble to anyone, I was going to be a Model patient! I forgot one of the definitions of "model " is: A Small imitation of the Real Thing. Tra lah lah!

No I just hiccup almost every time just before I vomit, so my fullness symbol would have to be something else. Truthfully I don't think I have had a true fullness signal in the 9 months, one where I stop eating and all is well with me! That's why I still am intimidated enough to never try things with much form to them. Tried to discuss this with Roy, my dietician. He like everyone else didn't listen. Kep telling me how wonderful I looked, how well HE THOUGHT I was doing. It's like drowning in a lake, calling for help and the only person with a life jacket is persisting in talking about how lovely the sunlight looks shining on the water. Will it take me passing out or getting my blood chemistries out of whack before someone does listen? I want to do things right, but fearful of swallowing and having it regurgitate again.

I have cleaned cast iron 🍳skillets often- Air Pots have got to be easier🆗🚼

You and I, Briswife , have had an incredible challeng in our recovery, you don't need to apologize for the wearyness you feel . You are an incredible Strong Person, and I am so proud of you for all you have gone through.

And then you can get on with the original plan, to lose weight, feel better and have the Good Life you do deserve.😝🌺🌼🌸

Respect yourself enough to say " I deserve peace and walk away from people or things that prevent you from attaining or receiving it.

Clutter is not physical stuff. It is old ideas , toxic relationships and bad habits. It is anything that does not support your better self. And please remind them of This IF YOU TRULY LOVE HER YOU'D WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR HER, WHETHER THAT INCLUDES YOU OR NOT! Much love, praying 🙏things will smooth out and update us if you can!

Wellbutrin, I take that , have for a while every since I was thrown into depression when Surgeon#1 up and refused to perform my surgery. I did not want to live, no not active enough to kill myself, I was willing to sit apathetic and decline, if I ate is was fast food, not going to intervene enough to actually cook.I take 100 mg of the SR formulation 3 times a day, and it has No Bad Effect on my RNY pouch. I am out of the deep blue almost black pit of depression, having my surgery went a long way towards my cute. Approached my PCP about cutting down or eliminating it since I am 9 months out, hasn't happened yet. Maybe never will? Yes hormones do have an effect, and what really is a Royal Bummer for you and myself, as you go into ketosis and your fat layer starts to melt, all the stirred chemicals including hormones get released and you can become a Storming Norma, a Weeping Wilds or Freddy Kruegers little sister. Let's see if I remember the sequence another Bari-Pal told me Puberty... but you aren't covered with zits Pregnancy ...but you don't get a cute baby with it Menopause except that finally ends and you're not certain this will but you either have not flashes or freeze to Death. But life does go on ,it does resolve, usually with time. And tho yet feel stuck permanently in dark clouds and rain, there is still a Sun that will shine for you. I'll close with something from a Motivation App Anxiety is worrying and being fearful about almost every thing . Depression blunts and smothers all the joy in your life. And if you have both, at the same time, it is a Living Hell! Yes I have been through it, doing much better,but like an alcoholic, even in recovery, is still internally an alcoholic I will always have the tendency toward depression. All I can do is live well to the best of my ability, and if I get to the point of needing therapy again, to not be Too Proud to ask! I'm almost always on or near Bariatric Pal, PM me anytime, I will Talk The Talk because I also have Walked the Walk. And although you may not feel it now, you are an incredibly STRONG woman to have come THIS FAR.😝👍🍀

Do your lips feel so dry that you fear they may break open? And the inside of your mouth, if you touch your palate with your tongue, does it reel like there is a dry paint film there? If you do try to do something and almost immediately you feel so weary that you haven't slept for days? Every step you take, you fear you will topple to one side or the other, so keep one hand on the wall while you walk? You feel like you could die and it doesn't matter to you if it happens? All or part of these you need hydration, better sit or lie down where everything doesn't spin and that you don't crumple and injury yourself. Yes, many people say " Oh well, if you pass out your body gently lowers you to the floor. Smooth swoons only happen in the movies. More often you go down like a pole-axed steer. And if you have my other problems you have a difficult decision. I have 2 knew replacements, my right shoulder recovering from a rotator cuff SURGERY you did not plan for, your left shoulder was supposed to get it first so it is very weak and painful as well. If you do manage to skoot and raise yourself to your knees , and there are not one but two orthopaedics screaming No No don't Do That! Whichever knee you try to lift up on will be extremely bruised because you no longer have a fat pad to protect either of them. And you know inwardly that replacements are only 85% as efficient as natural, that goes for almost every replaced joint. Just a fact of the Ortho Life! So how do I GET UP? Well see if you can picture this. I slither across the floor, something ever so lovely at my age, I head for the nearest piece of solid furniture that can be found. Also nice if the seat is at a proper height. I lay my arms on the seat, crossing them so I hold the opposing elbow. If I have shoes on I take the back foot, brace it toe down- And use that big toe as an extra leverage point. Yes eventually I will wear it out and the podiatrist will be able to fund his family's vacation. Usally the trailing one is my left,and use my crossed arms for enough strength to somehow get up. But invaribly one or both knees still end up with bruising that doesn't fade for 4-6 weeks. Now do you see why on my medical Records it says FEAR OF FALLING? And although I can still manage to get vertical again now, time may be short until the Rescue and Emergency Squad will have to come move and elevate me. And when you're over 70 people try to place you in a Nursing Home "for your own safety" Horsefeathers, I worked Long Term Care facilities for maybe 25 years, I can tell you good stories , but most will appall you, turn your hair white, at the very least you will💦cry to hear. Like one coworker who was punched in the belly by a patient, ruptured her ovarian cyst( which she didn't know she had) emergency hysterectomy at 27 so she wouldn't hemorrhage to death. And the family she and her new husband were planning, because she was just working to get enough money for a house payment to be paid down.? Many years later she and Donnie-Lee were able to adopt, but because of this freak patient-caused accident she could never carry her own. So see,why I would not enter one willingly, not even on pain of death.

Keep us updated as it evolves. Like you, I wonder where and what the final result will be.😝

And Hey Hey Hey I feel pleasantly full with no desire to Upchuck. Maybe this is my body's Sunday 🎁📦Gift to ME.

And yes I know TODAY is only the 16th, obviously this smartphone wants it to conclude sooner. Don't know why, it won't be fed its Verizon card until July 1st at the soonest!

How do I treat myself TODAY, A the 26th? Only think that comes to mind, instead of just an 8 oz glass of 1% milk I shall have an Atkins Lemon Bar or a Lemon Vanilla Protein Wafer Crisp bar. Really really like the latter, the closest I'll ever come to those Sugar Wafer Cookies I once loved And these have 4 g Fiber,11g protein,1g sugars and 3g net carbs. A whole lot better than those candy bars Wal-Mart stocks next to their check-outs. Even the few non- chocolate are Dietary H***!.

And may your Sunday stay just that smooth!

Starting to have fun- fun- fun at BMI 31! .....So much better than BMI 52 when I wasn't sure what I could Do! Your Friendly Neighborhood Poet Laureate👈😝👉

Yeah but at the End you become a Wise Woman, somebody younger people consult because you now have Life and Everything Else All Together! Really hasn't happened for ME but as the song lyrics go " that's the way I've always heard it would be!" Laughing thru my Tears!

This morning I feel pretty good, temporarily willing to forgive Precious Pouch her manifest sins. Have a big beaker of Body Fortress Strawberry NutraBullet blended with ice and a healthy dose of Miralax. Things MAY BE FALLING into place in my world🌏! And Friday last, the 14th June I entered Onederland, even if I bounce back to 201 before a #2 I WILL STILL 💝ME for I now know things are still possible for a member of the OVER THE HILL GANG like me! Oh am I going to surprise my PCP, he of the REASON SURGEON #1 DENIED YOU WAS BECAUSE YOU MIGHT DIE ON THE SURGICAL TABLE! Hey Doctor Ding-a-Ling, if you're really doing your job correctly, that SHOULD NOT HAPPEN and besides Who gave YOU permission to rain on My Parade?⛅☁☔☁

If you listen really really close, you can hear your Inner Body Voice. It is saying " NOW REBOOTING" Yeah it is weird how we can lose in fits and spurts, isn't it?😛

Yes it should get better, remember when you get to solids-are you there yet? Take things slow and chew chew chew until you think you can't stand it anymore, count to 30 and give it 5 more chimps. And if That still doesn't work, check out whether you have a stricture, ulcerations or something else that might be causing it? Even intolerance to milk or soy proteins could cause the errpie- durpies! 💝And stay strong, darling, time cures many many things!

Getting Old sucks! Now. I have to find a pair of reading glasses to even read the Weight Loss Funnies! As Eeyore says " Oh Me, Oh My"!

And I now have lost the same in 9 months, am I losing this too soon since you are 2 months further past surgery? See I worry I am doing something wrong. Perhaps too many years of being told I was inept, Inc A-1 ble of doing anything right. My natural self- confidence got eroded away and I find it difficult to regain any self-worth. And although I have no real reason , inwardly,i am still ashamed of myself. I have got to convince ME that ME is still an Okay Person!

Oh what a miserable sensation, I have had that with foods I know have been moisturized enough by sal8's and chewing. Makes you wonder if this is something structural, whether you are tending up your throat yourself or whether💦you are just expecting too much that your foodstuffs slip into your still- New pouch?

And now I have lost myself into Onderland, 199.4. Friday. late. And to me I LOOK stranger and stranger. This is the weight Dr Needleman especially and Valerie the Nurse-Practioner expected me to reduce to. Since they weirdly did not schedule me a clinic visit until August 14th , who KNOWS what size I may be then. Even I have nary a clue.👈😣👉

THE ONLY WAY ANYBODY CAN DRIVE YOU CRAZY IS IF YOU GIVE THEM THE KEYS TO YOUR LIFE.

If your past tries to call, don't answer. It has nothing new to say.