sideeye

Update: I think this intermittent fasting thing is not so bad. I'm not HUNGRY, I just want to eat something, so it's sort of the same sensation as week 2 or 3 post-op. I also worked on a coffee with cream all morning during meetings, which is probably not necessary but baby steps. Of course, I also think that I did not pack correctly for eating at work and at noon all I have to devour is a cheese stick, a protein shake, and a yogurt. So I may eat absolutely everything on my way home (which luckily is around 3pm). I've decided I own my bedroom. If the floor was made of lava I could step from the front door into my bedroom, and I also love my bed. And while I usually look like a refugee from an off-off-Broadway Flashdance revival at home, since moving into the new place I have to up my game (because my kitchen window is huge and everyone across the courtyard can see each other) and I've bought a flowy green Natori robe to swan around in. Let's see how long that lasts. I wish I liked Halo Top. For some reason any substitution I try to make like that bombs for me - it's like all I taste are the changed ingredients. So instead of a pint of Halo Top I do a quarter-cup of full-bore ice cream.

I told immediate family and one work friend beforehand. Oh, and individual friends who live out of state/country. Then I've been revealing it one by one to the rest of the family (basically, you see me in person, you get the actual scoop) and on a person-by-person basis for others. I'm very aware that a limited explanation will likely reinforce the "you only need to diet and exercise" storyline, which I personally found harmful when it was recited at me in the past decade, so I do try to be forthright about it. Surgery is the only thing that works permanently, and I don't want to mislead. But I am selective about who I tell - the gym rat who eats only chicken breasts, is looking to shave off five pounds and wants my secret diet tricks? No. The coworker with a 9 month old baby and 30 pregnancy pounds she can't shake? Yes. It really is up to you as an individual, but I'd like to do what I can to remove the surgery stigma. It's the only thing that works reliably, and pushing back against decades of social conditioning that ignores science and insists it's only a matter of willpower is important. But that's not a path for everyone, and I wouldn't judge anyone who chooses to be private about what is, currently, a stigmatized procedure.

We are the same person. We can never meet, or we will cause some sort of vortex. i’m actually a fan of those self-service marts in the airports now. I find that I make much healthier selections, for some reason - no more desperation donuts. I get those little yogurt drinks instead of peanut M&Ms. Of course I also overpurchase and that’s why there’s a carton of cucumber-flavored airport water in my fridge right now (it cost $4, I am NOT throwing it out, even if I have to carry it through the entire damn airport and home). I am also now a fan of Alaska air’s little cheese plate things. I used to view it as a measly pittance, but today one of those things fuels me cross-country.

Okay, ate the baked pasta and rounded things off by madly grabbing at a couple of cashews and then a shard of almond brittle (dimensions: about a dollar coin) and now I’m DONE. DONE. (This is so stupid, I eat like this all the time but now that I’m paying attention it’s like I’m getting cast out on an ice floe and need to stock up to survive.) Ah crap, meant to post this in IF instead of here. Whoops. Well, if you don’t hear from me again know I starved to death in 16 hours, which I’m sure sets some sort of record.

I've had coffee, a cheese stick, two ham and swiss wraps (literally, ham and swiss rolled up), Crystal Lite, four pieces of tuna sushi and a piece of egg sushi. Oh, and about a half cup of milk and a small cookie. I've just put a frozen cannelloni in the oven and will likely be able to eat half of it, and then the clock strikes eight and I turn into a pumpkin. I'm hungry enough to eat some of that cannelloni though not starving, and a little apprehensive about when the munchies inevitably strike at 10pm. Honestly this is mostly a sort of "what if I thought I wasn't hungry but actually am and oh my god food" mental thing.

I started eating at noon, and am now watching the clock in near-panic wondering what else I can eat before 8pm. So: FINE.

Pity him. To be someone like that, who doesn't have the social skills to understand that's a stupid thing to say - or worse, a person with a gaping chasm where their soul's meant to be and who looks for moments to slide in a snide remark and get that faint thrill of superiority for just one second. People like that deserve nothing but pity. And every time you see him from now on, you don't need to feel angry or sad or embarrassed, just pity him in a remote kind of way - because he's like that inside ALL THE TIME. No amount of surgery's going to make that go away. And if he ever takes the chance to say something like that to you again, just pity him harder. Directly to his face, non-responsively, because that will utterly ruin his snide little high. DISMISS him.

I donated eight shopping carts of clothing to Goodwill. Not bags - CARTS.

You responded like a complete ass regardless. Resist doing that.

You didn't wreck it, but you're going to have to go slow on the alcohol from now on. I'm guessing you're in the UK and this is going to be hard, since pretty much everything is centered around drinking in a way it isn't in the US, but your tolerance for alcohol is going to be radically different from what it was before. I'm ten months out and can get knocked for a loop with two G&Ts. Three months is still pretty early for reintroducing alcohol, talk to your doctor about when you can start drinking again - and obviously your changed drinking tolerance is going to impact decision-making... and that's where the coke comes in. Because you know you shouldn't be doing that with a compromised digestive system and surgical healing. Talk to your doctor about the recreational drugs too. Or, if you think you're going to hit a judgement wall there, talk to another health counselor. If it helps at all, there's a significant cultural difference US/UK when it comes to talking about drugs, and I think you accidentally ran into the buzzsaw with your original post. The puritanical streak in the US is considerably wider and more opinionated than in the UK. There are a lot of posts around this forum about how people's social lives have changed now they can't drink much and it's changed the way they experience the bar, so maybe look up some of those to find fellow travelers?

You're not asking a stupid question. And it's not TMI. Goddamnit, people depress me sometimes. First: when did you have surgery? Have you done coke before, and is this typical? Had you had alcohol since your surgery? Just based on the timing, I'd guess that you've got a stomach bug and that this isn't related to the drug use. Anyone vomiting for three days would feel ache in their stomach. Did you have a flu shot this year? Are you drinking a ton of Gatorade or Pedialyte to make up for the dehydration? If not, your symptoms are just going to feel worse. Even if this reaction has nothing to do with the coke or booze, you know that introducing a rogue element into a healing system isn't a good idea, obviously, and you'll be more careful in future. Good. Few things make me bristle with rage. Idiotic responses like this would be one of them. Her question was related to WLS, since she's concerned there's been an interaction between the drugs and the surgery. She's asking for help because she's worried. I am incredibly angry that your response was the first here, as it is worthless.

Okay, I'm going to give this a go... Starting off with a morning coffee, then starting at noon an 8-hour window, then shut it down until the next morning (~8am) and coffee again. Or maybe peppermint tea. It's not so much for weight loss or plateau-busting or anything, more that I'm looking back on my eating patterns and I think I kind of do this IF thing already? Sort of? But with some snacks on the fringes that I probably don't need, like a 10pm handful of cashews or a 10am string cheese. I've spent enough of my life being guilt-tripped about not wanting to eat breakfast ("most important meal of the day" my ass, it makes me feel queasy)! I'll keep the AM coffee for a while and see if I want to phase it out later.

I think I'm going to join you Intermittent Fasting lunatics. I'm pretty sure I'm accidentally doing it anyway, but with a final string cheese/almond brittle 9-10pm cheat that probably isn't doing me any favors. I don't like eating in the morning and typically want to start eating at noon, and if I pay attention I can shut down at 6-7pm, but I do have one question... What can I drink while on the fasting segment of the day? Is it just straight up water and tisanes, or can I drink a coffee with cream in it or Crystal Lite? I'm having a hard time envisioning morning without a coffee or tea in it.

I saw an article in the NYT (so long ago I can’t find it again) about how one problem with incremental change is our inability to project the benefit out compared to the short-term benefit. When you start weight loss and are losing pounds every week, that benefit is right there in your face, but once the losses become fractional, the immediate gratification isn’t as strong. So in my case tonight: do I want to eat this third tiny shard of almond brittle now, or do I want to look 5 years down the line and ask myself if this third piece right now will help get me where I want to be? Specifically, the technique asks you to envision yourself 5 years from now in a pretty detailed way, and use that specific vision as a touchpoint when making all decisions (this is more effective than individually projecting today’s actions into isolated future visions, because when you don’t link it all together into a grander vision you’re able to explain away a LOT.) That mindset has helped me a lot in making decisions. Like “in five years, I want to be typing on my couch in a home I own in the middle of a weekday because my job has that sort of flexibility”. I had a very specific idea of what I’d be wearing, my mood, like a snapshot of my future life. Then you look at your life right now and ask what small change you could make to progress towards the goal/vision, with the knowledge that inaction will mean DEFINITELY not achieving that vision in 5 years. As you all know, I eventually want to become Renee Russo out of the Thomas Crown Affair. So that means right now whittling down my closet, starting to invest in GOOD clothing selectively, and paying a lot more attention to skincare, but I’ll eventually ramp things up incrementally and in five years achieve my vision of being globally respected in my field and shagging a millionaire international art thief on a tropical island while wearing a series of devastatingly chic outfits. Have to start somewhere, so I didn’t have the third shard of brittle and had coffee instead.

I’ve just moved a one-bed apartment at 9 months out, and I would have LOST MY MIND if I’d tried to move a month after surgery. My god. The packing, donating, cleaning, organizing, hauling around empty boxes, running out for tape... noooooo no no. I barely coped with it as I am now. Good decision to put off surgery until post-move. And this is an EXCELLENT time to go through your clothes and donate anything that is too big - if it’s too big now, it will definitely be too big in a couple of months and not worth relocating to clutter your new place.

Membership at the pool already applied for, new Speedo in my gym kit. Walking 2.5-5 miles a day anyhow. Fired the dog walker and will be adding that in too. Goddamnit, March!

I've been using protein shakes (Orgain chocolate) as a safety net; I store a couple in my work fridge so if I don't have the time or brain space to actually make lunch, I know I have something. I'll typically throw a couple of cheese sticks in there too - again, emergency rations. Otherwise I just try to stay higher-protein for away meals. Sometimes I'll snag kimbap or something, but I usually end up regretting it - for some reason rice manages to make me feel simultaneously overstuffed and unfull.

How many meals do you need to pack in one go?

He will look good. Swimmer build, killer smile, 6'3". He will look.... good.

Sporadically using a wifi scale has done very good things for my sanity. Something about it being tracked in an app without any intervention from me makes it easier not to obsess over the numbers. Also the app puts it into a trend line, which is very grounding: I can see that I had an unusually sharp loss at the start of the month, so this "stall" is probably just catch-up. Or I can see that even though I feel like I'm not losing right now, the trend line is still steep. I get on the scale maybe three times a week. I'm vaguely interested in the number that shows but it doesn't stick in my brain, and I can just wait until I'm in a better/more motivated/interested headspace to actually open the app and check progress.

So that one-night stand in Vegas is no longer going to be a one-night stand... After a flurry of holiday messaging, we're meeting up again in March. But I've just realized that the me in November and the me in March is going to probably look pretty damn different. He's not going to see me at all in between, and I'm sort of giggling at the thought that he's going to suddenly get a woman who is anywhere between 10 and 40 lbs lighter than the one he met before. I'm not actually nervous about this*, and of course it's not going to do one damn thing to impact my WLS decisions, but - shapeshifting hookup! *okay, I'm a little apprehensive about loose skin and the Vanishing Boobs Conundrum.

@Frustr8, when did you have surgery?

The Vets forum might be a better place for you to find others in the same boat - whether it's regain or how long ago (and unguided) your procedure was: https://www.bariatricpal.com/forum/1205-wls-veterans-forum/

Macy's Alfani pants have been my go-to. Relatively good pricing for work pants, good cut and quality, and I can just slide down the sizing scale in the same cut because they've always got those pants in stock. I'd avoid blouses and stick to sweaters for this winter - your boobs are about to do strange, unnerving things and the button gap is killer.

@sideeye IT IS DONE. Ho away: Hopefully jamming the mission statement up there in the title will work. It's addiction transference, we know no pacing. Better that we're addicted to a message board rather than drugs or sex? (Though some of us are actively working on transferring to the latter.) --thread fin --