sideeye

Yeah, there are a lot. You'll go overboard a couple of times in the beginning and then lie on the couch thinking "THIS IS THE WORST" for about 20 minutes; pretty soon you'll be able to gauge when to stop eating to avoid that feeling. I'm 4.5 months in and a couple of days ago I had a forkful of salad halfway to my mouth when I suddenly said "Nope, done" and put the fork back down. It can be that decisive. It's best not to drink water or liquid while eating, but you might forget if you're at a restaurant and they serve it regardless. That's a more urgent "DONE" because the food in your stomach's a lot more fluid and so you're extremely aware that... well, if you keep eating it might all come up. Some people hiccup, some people burp or have other very solid tells. Mine is more just a realization that if I eat that next bite, I will feel a certain way, and I can decide whether or not to eat it since I know exactly what the consequence will be. And sometimes you get an assist from the food itself: ice cream, hot chocolate and other high fat/high sugar things now make me gassy, which naturally encourages me to eat very little of those things. So I still get to drink cocoa, just out of much smaller mugs. One thing for me in particular has been getting a good variety of food in, but not being psychotic about limiting myself. I am now perfectly capable of taking one bite of a brownie at a conference and either thinking "this is not good" and binning it or thinking "this is not worth it" and doing the same. It is not the last brownie I will ever eat, so I can hold out for the high-quality stuff. Similarly, if I DO eat a high-quality brownie, I don't have to eat the whole thing - I can enjoy a much smaller portion. Your assessment of what you WANT to eat (and in what quantity) shifts dramatically.

I've got pretty limited knowledge about locs, but how would you know if your hair was shedding with that hairstyle? Would it show as patchiness on your scalp rather than active shedding (since I assume the shed hairs would be wrapped into the locs regardless)? Or would you mostly know when regrowth starts and there are suddenly a lot of very short hairs that haven't been integrated into the locs yet? What's the indicator you've looked for to determine whether or not you're losing hair? As I mentioned earlier, I'm not sure I would've noted that I was losing hair if it wasn't coming out in my hands all the time - it's only very recently I'm looking at my hairline and thinking it looks thin, and if my hair was already sectioned I'm not sure I would've noticed at all until a regrowth stage. And now I'm just being proactive with the full-on chop (and I've had short hair before and don't mind it).

In the first few months I used an oil pack treatment, and I usually wash my hair every two or three days - shampoo then a leave-in conditioner. My hair had been feeling dry post-op and that generally seemed to fix it, but I knew that if a shedding cycle had started then there was no real fix. My hair's long and I either wore it down or up with a wooden hairpin, which reduces any hairline-traction pull compared to barrettes or elastics. And yet... Matt, judging from the staggering of surgeries (sillykitty's first, then mine, then yours) you may start to notice loss soon. Then again you also have MUCH shorter and lighter hair than I do, and I probably wouldn't have noticed this if I wasn't pulling long dark strands off of everything I own and getting masses of hair wrapped around my fingers in the shower. It's only because I'm aware of how much hair I'm losing that I'm examining my hairline in the mirror. Colleagues would be unlikely to notice right now, and once I cut my hair short, it should be pretty invisible. It's not like I've got scalp shining through anywhere. Tealeal, is your hair still in braids (going by the profile pic)? If so, how often do you have it re-braided?

Different model I guess - I've met with my surgeon four times already, he's the one answering questions in-depth and following up.

Minority opinion here, but I'd look for another surgeon. I'm from NY and don't know which doc you're seeing, but there are plenty of them in this area who are skilled, he is definitely not the only one. If there is any sort of complication down the path, I would not want to be talking it through with a guy who's already proven to me that he's dismissive of me and my concerns/opinions. If he's dismissive now, he will continue behaving that way when you're a hell of a lot more vulnerable than you are pre-op. And frankly I'm concerned that your surgeon appears to be focusing ONLY on the scale number and not on overall health. He doesn't want you to build muscle because it "sabotages" your weight loss? What?! I'm trying to imagine how my surgeon would react to that sort of medical advice (hint: not well).

Aaaaaand it's now noticeable. Have been pulling out hair in fistfuls, but today is the first time I've truly noticed that my hairline's gone thin at the temples after washing and drying my hair (when it's in peak form). Yikes. I did start out with a considerable amount of hair, so I've got quite a lot left, but yeah - I'm going to get it cut to chin-length. It's long right now and the combination of the length's weight and how it's falling naturally... Nope. Chop chop chop.

Don't do it. Figure out what you're looking to achieve out of eating soft food - the ability to chew something? A certain feeling in your stomach that you associate with soft food? A particular eggy taste? Then figure out how to achieve that without breaking your team's rules. If you want to chew something, get a popsicle or freeze some jello. If it's a stomach feeling, blend some lentils or get a small spoonful of ricotta cheese. Or make some custard to get the egg taste. But with egg in particular, at first you'll be VERY surprised how little it will take to make you feel not just full, but overfull. If you eat within your team's plan and experience an issue, you're much more likely to ask them than if you go outside the plan, experience something and then drag your feet calling in because you don't want to admit that you jumped the soft food gun. It's only a couple of days. Get creative with the options you have and grit it out.

I love the lace Spanx bodysuits - they're not the thigh-long ones everyone thinks about, and they might not achieve what you're looking for waist-wise, but for day-to-day wear they're perfect.

I brought practically nothing, and then I used practically nothing that I brought. That was probably for the best since there wasn't anywhere to store stuff and my poor family ended up hauling my backpack around with them while I was in surgery and immediately after. I was in the hospital less than 24 hours so spent it all in the gown and hospital socks. The four things I DID use: laptop, battery pack for phone, phone, headphones. The most important/useful thing for me was loading up my phone and laptop with Netflix/Audible/iTunes content. I didn't have much energy to do more than walk, listen or watch. The thing that I desperately wish I had done and would advise for anyone else going in for this surgery: load a water-tracking app onto your phone and create some presets before surgery. After surgery I weirdly got very little instruction, and instead the nurses just gave me a 1-oz cup and a pitcher of water and then left me to figure it out. You are not going to be at your best at this point: you are going to be bleary and sleepy and non-chronological. I managed during that time to load the WaterMinder app onto my phone, and that's what I used to track water intake in the first 12 hours, but without it I would've been screwed. (My surgeon was not at all pleased to hear that the hospital had dropped the ball on this one, by the way.) So pick a water-tracking app, and then PRESET it for 1-oz quantities. That way when you're still loopy as hell you can at least consistently repeat "open app, finish one cup (over 15 mins), tap 1oz quantity, pass out again".

Lots of family members are leery of the surgery because it does, after all, have a mortality rate. They see "elective surgery" and think that it's vanity surgery. They may be the type who can lose 10 lbs and keep it off easily, or they may have watched The Biggest Loser without reading any of the follow-up studies. What I found most useful was telling family that even though this surgery was technically "elective", I was getting it to avoid a ton of NON-elective surgeries down the line when I'm older and less healthy. Knees and hips, in particular, but other weight-related problems too. I showed them the studies about people whose metabolisms never reset after significant weight loss and who gain it all back. I show them the success rates over time for "diet and exercise" losers versus bariatric patients. At a certain point, it becomes obvious that for someone with significant weight issues, this is a sensible surgery. But most of the time I think the resistance is being scared they'll lose you if there's a problem during surgery, and that feeds directly into a conviction that elective surgeries shouldn't happen. They can't lose you to diet and exercise, so they push hard for that. In some ways it can be seen as an expression of love and concern.... but only for so long. If you've provided them with documentation that should allay their fears and they STILL balk, well, go it alone.

If you haven't had therapy for the sexual assault issues, give that a go. I benefited enormously from EMDR therapy after a sexual assault; I tell people that the event basically rewired my brain during a moment of extreme trauma and EMDR was required to un-weld all of those connections. PTSD is no joke and it sounds like you've had a fair number of traumas recently. Shame is only going to reinforce all of that, so it's time to bring in the professionals. The weight gain is a symptom of other stuff, so deal with the mental stuff first.

I would say, assume that the patient knows they're fat. Assume that they've been told this many times, by multiple doctors, with varying levels of condescension and exasperation. Assume they understand it's healthier overall not to be fat. Assume that they probably know the basics of how humans are advised to lose weight. Then treat them like a rational human being and say "At your height and weight, you're falling into the [overweight/obese] category for BMI. That's only one metric for overall health, but excess weight does tend to impact other health issues negatively, so I want to make sure we cover this early - would you like to talk about weight management today? Or would you like to continue on with the rest of your physical?" If they want to talk about it, great. If not, let them know you're happy to discuss it anytime, then move the hell on. What got me most was doctors who seemed to think I didn't understand I was fat, didn't know what that meant for overall health, and thought I had to be lectured like a child who is just being stubborn about not eating broccoli. Also bad: doctors who returned to the "of course, it would help if you lost weight" diagnosis for EVERY ailment - I know! We covered the whole "be thinner" thing already, now tell me the OTHER things I can do right now to fix this problem! Making it an optional conversation and making it clear that the doctor is not JUST focused on weight would be helpful. This should definitely be a conversation with the doctor, but if a nurse and doctor talk about it beforehand and the doctor's conversation with the patient results in the patient opting into more info, there's absolutely no reason I can see that the doctor can't say as part of that conversation "Do you want to talk to Nurse Sleeve? IF you're thinking about surgery, she can give you a better idea of what that process involved."

Seems pretty straightforward to me: "Give me the iPad for a minute, or I vomit all over you at some unspecified time tonight or early tomorrow morning. Your choice."

I had my first close call today. Dinner with family at home, but man that would have been memorable. Managed the food on my plate well and ate to just under restriction, but I wasn't thinking and took a swig from the water glass someone had put at my setting and there was a VERY close moment where it felt it would come right back out and bring friends. Like, into-my-mouth close. Yikes.

Everyone has days when they go overboard. It happens. It is not the end of the world (though if you're diabetic, it's considerably more serious in terms of repercussions). It sounds like you're stuck in a really crappy situation where money is tight, healthcare is thin on the ground, and the feeling of hunger is driving you up the wall. Much of the advice you've gotten here is actionable, and I think you've done a damn good job being pretty measured in your responses. From the sound of it, this is head hunger - which is of course almost identical to physical hunger, in intensity and what it compels you to do. Just because it's head hunger doesn't mean it's not legit. I've mentioned elsewhere that my pre-op understanding of "after the surgery, you'll eat to satisfaction" wasn't proven out in my experience. I don't eat to my previous understanding of "satisfaction". I don't get that endorphin kick anymore, which I used to get after overeating. That might be what you're missing, a level of contentment that just doesn't exist anymore because you won't be able to eat enough to activate that chemical burst, but you're subconsciously trying by telling yourself you're hungry and overeating. But that sensation's gone for a while, possibly forever. Once you switch your mindset and start eating to fuel your body physically rather than looking to reward your brain chemically, it gets easier. For where you are right now, I'd avoid the smoothies. Liquified calories when battling back head hunger is not something I like to do, and part of what you might be craving is the ritual of chewing. I know absolutely nothing about diabetes so can't pitch in there, but the advice you got on the first page about avoiding slider foods and grazing seems to be the first things you can tackle successfully; get a flavor fix between meals with Crystal Lite or something. If soft eggs aren't your thing (though keep trying until they are), can you try that Ricotta Bake recipe? Even the blended chicken you're eating right now is pretty close to liquid, and unlikely to fill you up for long, which would make the head hunger worse.

Maybe 3/10 (on a scale where 1 is good and 10 is bad). Liquid tylenol for a while, but I was walking within about 6 hours of surgery. No real pain other than after sneezing. Fatigue was the biggest hurdle for me and it hit hard; I went back to work a week after surgery part-time and probably should not have pushed it, because 2-hour intensive demonstrations and lots of moving pieces definitely wore me all the way down.

Took me about 3 weeks. I bought a body pillow and two firm king pillows and basically made my bed into a recliner - I ran the body pillow along the back of the bed and the king pillows wedged on either side of me. It prevented me from rolling onto my (preferred) stomach-sleeping position, which was a good thing because even leaning too far to the side hurt like hell.

I have done short hair before. It freaks you out for the first couple of days and then you get used to it and the shop cut washes out a bit and you figure out how to style it and you’re good. Right now my hair is mid-back and that’s around the time I start worrying I look like a sister-wife, so I’m going to have to do something regardless, either shoulder length or all the way up to my chin. Glad to hear it’s not noticeable when washed and loose!

Crap, I was hoping your loss had slowed. I was just coming by to say that the hair loss has begun in earnest since I last posted - fair amounts of visible shedding at all times of day. Not noticing it yet in the mirror, except that my hair is flatter overall, but it's only really been a week. At the rate it's going this might get alarming, and I REALLY do not want it to grow back in all crunchy like after my surgery three years ago. I've been wearing white shirts to work and I initially thought I was just overreacting to normal shedding, but this morning I looked at my white pillowcase and YIKES. I do not have a tiny head, so maybe I'll have to give the headbands a miss too. I am working in a more casual office for a few months so can likely get away with headgear creativity... Crap! This sucks! If this keeps going, the likelihood is that I'll chop it all off and go with a layered messy bob until regrowth starts. Not my favorite hairstyle, but acceptable. Anyhow, I guess this disproves my theory that prolonged low calorie intake for the pre-op/post-op is the main culprit in hair loss.

My depressive dips are slightly more stable, or at least I’m a hell of a lot more self-aware in them. I haven’t noticed any inefficiency with my (very low dose) medication, but when I spiral I seem to spiral a lot slower? Used to be like getting sucked into a whirlpool. Still not sure if that slower thing is good or bad, since it means I don’t ramp up my dose and fight through it instead. One thing that I think is a direct result of losing food as a self-medicating factor: I am a lot clearer about what triggers me into depression. It used to be masked by a bunch of body image issues, but it’s pretty damn clear now that injustice is what brings on a combo of seething anger and depression. The depression used to be much more significant than the anger, but now it’s flipped. I can get VERY ANGRY about something that used to make me mostly sad and withdrawn. I’ve been angry and depressed for about a week now, it’s bloody exhausting (and yes, I do meditate).

I only drink soda now as part of a small cocktail, which cuts down on the carbonation. Straight-up soda no - I CAN drink it, but it makes me feel that horrible need-to-burp-but-can't feeling. So not worth it really.

Get a tongue scraper. Seriously. Use it when you brush.

I keep trying ice cream and keep throwing most of it away - it makes me burp constantly, or at least that gas buildup that makes you feel like you need to burp but can't.

Good lord, that sounds rough. Though I am curious - did you have an upper GI series before surgery? I thought it was a surgical prerequisite, and I'm kind of surprised they didn't see it then. I don't mean at all to put doubts in your head about your surgeon, but between flat-out saying he doesn't think there's anything that can be done and essentially putting you off two months before seeing you again... More expert opinion is needed, and maybe a little querying about what was seen on that original GI study.

Think of protein shakes like they’re medicine. Obviously use the one that tastes least disgusting to you, but the point is to get protein in you and the shake is the best vehicle right now. This phase is frustrating but not forever. You will be able to eat real food again, but there are very good don’t-injure-yourself reasons why you can’t right now. Crystal Lite was a really useful thing for me post-op (still is, 4 months later) and so was jello (chewy). You’ll be okay.