boringtessa

Oh, man, I was at work sitting at my desk, and suddenly found that I was crossing my legs!  I mean, not completely knee-over-knee, but it's a total Non-Scale Victory for me - I've never really been able to cross my legs!

Oh, man, I was at work sitting at my desk, and suddenly found that I was crossing my legs!  I mean, not completely knee-over-knee, but it's a total Non-Scale Victory for me - I've never really been able to cross my legs!

Oh, man, I was at work sitting at my desk, and suddenly found that I was crossing my legs!  I mean, not completely knee-over-knee, but it's a total Non-Scale Victory for me - I've never really been able to cross my legs!

Oh, man, I was at work sitting at my desk, and suddenly found that I was crossing my legs!  I mean, not completely knee-over-knee, but it's a total Non-Scale Victory for me - I've never really been able to cross my legs!

Oh, man, I was at work sitting at my desk, and suddenly found that I was crossing my legs!  I mean, not completely knee-over-knee, but it's a total Non-Scale Victory for me - I've never really been able to cross my legs!

Thought I'd give an update.  I'm over half way to my goal, which is awesome, and I've lost over 12 inches in my waist!  The weight isn't coming off as quickly as I had hoped, but I am also not exercising and still not getting even close to the amount of water I should be drinking, so slow weight loss is not all that surprising.  Sometimes I'm just "over it" and try to eat huge portions like I used to, but, thankfully, I feel the restriction of my smaller stomach and can't go crazy.  In general, I'm quite good, just trying to live my life.
I now have a motivation to start exercising, though... I booked a plane ticket to Germany for the end of September, so this is a good chance to get strong, get hydrated, and reach my weight goal.

There are these chairs at work that someone should really just throw out. They have "arm rests" that are the wrong height (which is only a little offensive) , and those "arm rests" make them impossible for people of a certain girth to sit in (which is very offensive).
I can now sit in them. ... I still very much think they should be thrown out, because they're exclusionary, but they no longer exclude me, which is a small victory.

I was dreading Thanksgiving, thinking I would be miserable not eating tons of every dish served, but it wasn't terrible at all!  I ate very little (it was a little alarming to see how little food I had on my plate), but I didn't feel like I missed out on anything.  I even ate a sliver of pie... and still lost weight.  Now that I know it's possible, I'm feeling better about Christmas - I'll just make sure there are things I can eat, I'll remember that I don't need to eat much to feel fulfilled, and I'll take it easy on myself if I mess up.

Had my one month (really, a day short of 6 weeks) post-op appointment today. Everybody seemed pretty happy with how things are going, and I'm now officially in Phase III (long-term bariatric eating phase), with the caveat that rice and pasta are still not allowed, and no alcohol until at least the three month mark. (Not a problem.) But I'm cleared to have fruits and veggies! 🥦🍎🥗🍊🍇🍓 So exciting! I want an apple so badly. (OK, like, a third of an apple, with peanut butter, because I'm not sure a full apple will fit in my stomach, and eating something without any protein feels wrong.)

I'm also cleared to exercise, though I've been advised to start slow with weights and to stop if I feel any "tearing" (😨) in my abdomen. Back to the pool with me! (I hurt my foot, so walking is out right now. I hate it. Swimming and starting with weight lifting should do a lot for my mood, though.)

I'm a little over 5 weeks out from surgery, and I am just so lethargic, I don't want to do anything, not even rollerskating, and that's something I love.   I've been able to get sufficient protein and I've been taking my vitamins, but I am not getting even close to enough water - it has been difficult to fit in the sipping when I need to wait 30 minutes before and after a meal and I've been eating 4 or 5 very small meals a day (or maybe 3 meals and 1-2 snacks).  It seems absolutely impossible to get enough water, but everyone else seems to do fine.  Food-wise, I'm still basically just eating cheese and lunchmeat because nothing else seems to sit right.  It's possible I'm just depressed, since my life has been about gourmet food, and now I have to eat bland, uninteresting things.  I know it'll get better, but right now I just can't life very well.

Well, I hit my first stall - I weigh the same as I did when I weighed a week ago.  I know for a fact that I need to get more exercise, but even so... it still seems odd to me that, even though one is eating less than 600 calories/day, one could stop losing weight.  BUT I was warned about stalls and it's not a surprise and I'm not even that upset about it.
I'm still struggling with food, but I think that, even though eating too fast was part of it, I've been trying to eat foods that my sleeve can't tolerate yet - I don't think pain when eating is supposed to be normal.  It's just so weird not to be able to eat everything I want; I mean, I've never had a problem with any food in my pre-surgery life, my stomach could tolerate everything, but it's obvious now that that isn't the case any longer.  So I'm backing off, eating soft foods again, trying to be gentler with my body, introducing one new thing at a time, still working on eating more slowly.  It's just such a shame to have to throw away so much of the food I made recently.

A small NSV: I had a meeting on the third floor of a building without an elevator today, and I was only breathing a little faster (as opposed to being totally winded) when I got to the top.

I'm off of these boards for a while. My stepfather (my dad's husband) just passed away last night, and I only just lost Dad last year, and ... I kind of need to be focusing on that, you know? I'll see you all later.

My surgery was Wednesday, and already, on Sunday, I'm feeling mostly human. I count myself very lucky!
I have been taking the nausea pills I was prescribed ("as needed" is what the bottle says) every morning, and I think that has helped me get closer and closer to my fluid goals. A pill is only good for 8 hours, though, so it isn't doing anything for me in the evenings, when I am still drinking fluids. Maybe I'll try to go without it tomorrow and see if I can.
Anyway, I'll hit 64 ounces for the first time today, my third full day home. I'm on track for 56 grams of protein, 57 if I go for Jello instead of popsicles, which obviously I'm going to do, now that I've said that.
With more distance, I'm able to report on something I've kind of glossed over in my other statuses ... I had some really rocky time while I was in the hospital. There were at least two hours in recovery where nobody checked on me, and my IV stopped--I felt very sick and dehydrated when they finally fixed it. (I was stuck in recovery through a shift change, and they wouldn't let my spouse back with me for something like 4 hours, because people's assigned rooms weren't ready yet, and not letting spouses join inpatient people in recovery is policy. That was terrible. My spouse complained to the nursing supervisors when he found out how I'd been (not) treated, and he never does that!)
Once I was in my room and had a working IV again, everything progressed OK. They didn't let me walk as quickly as I'd expected; I woke up the first time around 4pm, was in my room by 8pm, and didn't get to walk until around noon the next day, with the exception of trips to the in-room bathroom. The pain meds wrecked me almost as much as I expected (I feel like they added to queasiness, but I can't be sure; they definitely forced me to sleep, instead of really taking care of the pain, though, as I'd thought they might ... happily, the pain has been pretty manageable without them).
Home has been better. I've been pacing the main floor of the house roughly every hour. Once it cools off this evening, Spouse and I are going for a walk part of the way around the block, to see how that goes. (80+ degrees in October, ugh.) I feel a little lightheaded sometimes when I'm walking around, and I'm not sure what that's about. It felt enough like a sugar low, yesterday, that I dropped a single sugar cube into my tea (which my plan allows). That did seem to help. I haven't had to do it again today, happily.
Looking forward from here, I'm not forcing myself to go to class (3 hours, a half hour drive away) tomorrow or Tuesday night. The professor was nice, saying "you're the sort of person who would try, even if you feel bad and even though you're ahead on the material, so I am telling you to stay home." I feel like, if I keep on recovering at this pace, going to class the following week should be no problem for me, plus I should be able to work that Thursday and/or Friday. (I might ease in and try just Friday. Nothing I do at work is time-sensitive. I have a very unimportant job.)
I know from reading these forums, though, not to get too overconfident. So I'm still taking it pretty easy and focusing all of my energy on healing.

Days 'til surgery: 1
Number of ounces of sugar-free jello my hungry self is going to eat today: so many

I'm all packed, though I still have to run a small load of clothes and towels through so I have "just washed" things for after I use the pre-surgical soap tonight and in the morning.

I have a class from 6-9pm tonight, and I predict I spend it mostly pretty distracted. (It's fine. I'm ahead in that class.)

The first nurse has called to go over meds and stuff (and she reassured me that there will be pain meds in my system when I wake up, lol), and I'm expecting the scheduling call any time now. ... Probably while I'm in the car on my way to school.

Anyway, it's getting close!

Well, the surgeon said I am a great candidate for the surgery, so we're moving forward!
I am very excited, I was so worried that he wouldn't approve, but it took very little time for him to evaluate me.
Boy, the requirements!  Obviously there's the Nutrition appointments and a psych eval, but there's also lots of blood work and X-Rays, a Colonoscopy/Endoscopy, and the dreaded Pap Smear.  I will also need to attend a support group, twice.  It's fine, though, I am willing to jump through the hoops, I just wish that all of this wasn't so far away - 1 hour drive each way.
The other requirement is: LOSE 20 LBS.  From what I've read so far, this is quite a common requirement, but it seems really difficult, since I have been gradually and constantly gaining weight over the last year.  In fact, I GAINED 20lbs over the last 6 months, which is incredibly alarming, and was the main reason I even thought I might need the surgery.
I liked the doctor - he seems like a no-nonsense type.  The only thing is, we didn't talk about the different types of surgery yet.  I suspect he wants to see if I seriously follow his requirements before taking the time, but even so, much of the information in the packet I was sent home with talks about the LAP Band, which is a procedure I most certainly do not want.  I know he also performs the sleeve, which is the one I've chosen for myself, so I'm hoping my suspicions are correct and that we discuss surgery types next time we meet.
Anyways, YAY!  I'm on the way!