So this may have just been a quick reaction that he meant no harm by, but he does need to know how it made you feel in that moment. Marriages should have a safe space to discuss these kinds of feelings without an argument erupting and I’m sorry if you don’t currently have that. You mentioned that he expects you to defend him at all costs and you deserve the same! If he has his own insecurities, he needs to work on that and not let them steal your shine.