martha :)

I just got my date today, july 25! so excited!

i'm not "worried" about it per say, but am definitely aware of it. about 6 years ago I lost almost 50lbs and it really put a strain on my marriage. we weren't one of those classic situations where the fat person puts up with many things they shouldn't, because they have such low self esteem and think they can't do better etc etc and then they lose the weight and realize they're worth it. we had a great marriage, he is a wonderful man, and the issues were all brought on by me and coincided with some budding mental health issues. we sought counseling and made important changes, and tho it was a dark time we made it thru and can say we're grateful for the experience now. it hardened us like fire, and made our relationship so much better. so i'm hopeful that we've already gotten the "weight-loss relationship issues" out and dealt with, already, so that this time will be different.

i'm doing a sleeve. doctor said I do not have to lose any weight, but if I want to, I should stay above a 35 BMI to ensure insurance coverage. he said that since I have a "lower" BMI, I could expect to lose all my excess weight, but that varies from person to person and by how closely they follow the program. besides my husband and 2 kids, only 2 other people know at this point. 1 is an aunt to already had the surgery too, and the other is a coworker who had it done.

I don't have a lot of info to give you, as I have just started the process. but I am in your same spot- I have a BMI of 38, and I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea and a thyroid disorder. over the last 2 years I've seen quite a few relatives, friends and coworkers undergo bariatric surgery. I finally hit my bottom and my general practitioner doc reluctantly sent in a referral for a bariatric consult. I had that Tuesday, and found out I qualify. I have just started my 6 mos. diet tracking for insurance, so if all goes well I would be having a sleeve done in late summer-early fall. I put off making the appt. for a long time, because it was my "last resort", and I was afraid they would say no and I would just be gutted. i'm so thankful that didn't happen, and everyone in the office was very supportive. of course, they're getting paid by me too, lol. have you had a consult yet? or are you just thinking about it?

I've been lurking on this forum for a little while now. I finally made an account because I had to say thank you for posting this question. I had my initial consult yesterday and found out I qualified for surgery. So now begins the 6 mos. diet tracking, which would put me probably in late August for surgery if all goes well. I am a very open person, but I find myself not wanting to tell anyone. i'm so filled with shame- that I've let my body get out of control, that I lost 50 lbs 6 years ago and why can't I just do it again, my BMI is "only" 38 so i'm just squeaking in on comorbidities, i'm "cheating" and "taking the easy way". but i'm so desperate for change. I've gained 70 lbs in 4 years, despite *knowing* what to do, and what to eat, joining a great gym and working out. I don't want to wait til i'm 50, 65 and diabetic like other family members did. I dread telling someone and facing their questions, scorn and disdain when I myself feel the same, so I don't know how to defend my choice beyond "I couldn't do it, I need help." the decision as it stands now, not to really tell much or anyone, bothers me in itself. I have had mental health issues and am not private about my journey, as I think it's important to lessen the stigma and show people that they aren't alone. but being fat doesn't seem as "worthy" of a cause to me. it feels like a personal failure, not something that I didn't have control over like mental imbalances. anyway.. thank you all for this post, and thank you for listening. <3