westcoastmom

I have enjoyed reading so many of your posts here - you are all so supportive of each other. I have to admit I feel a bit like I am stepping into your already formed group, I bit of a 3rd wheel... I agree with your recent comments about some new fitting clothes making a difference. It took me a while to buy a few things. But it was even surprising to me to see what a difference I saw when I wore a shirt that actually fit. Are any of you having trouble with clothes? I think I have a difficult shape that I will just have to deal with. I could still wear plus size (especially on the top), but seem to need the cut of non-plus size. But I certainly should not complain about needing smaller sizes. I have stalled a bit in losing weight too. I have lost 40 pounds since surgery at the end of March. I know I should get a fill (I have only gotten .3 ccs) - but I am still eating small amounts. I guess I will have to get moving more! I will have to get some motivation from all the things you all do. Or I could just do some Irish dancing with my girls...

I also try to remember that the purpose of the band is to help you stay satisfied longer between meals - not to be full. We still have to learn to stop eating and take control of what we eat and how much.

You know weight is such a touchy subject, I think people are so afraid of saying something that might offend us. I am down about 40 pounds and people do notice, but for the most part only those really close to me actually say something. I know that even I sometimes find it hard to compliment someone on weight loss. It feels like it is hard to find words that won't make it feel like you are saying they weren't OK before. I also found that it wasn't until just about now that I started wearing a few clothes that actual fit. I am so much more comfortable in clothes that are big. I think I hid everything for so long. Someone recently said it seemed like all of a sudden I was 2 sizes different. It was probably because I started wearing clothes that were 2 sizes smaller...

I am struggling with that question a bit right now myself. I didn't want to set it too low and be unrealistic. When I lost a lot of weight when I was in my 20's and my body fat % was pretty low, I still was a higher weight than the charts showed I should be. I guess you sometimes have to go with what will be best for you. I was banded at the end of March. I initially put 160 as my goal - I am at about 184 now. I have lost about 40 pounds, but only about 2 sizes in clothes. I was hoping to at least be able to shop in most any type of store for clothes when at goal, but I might have to re-think that. But those smaller targets along the way certainly do help!

Noahsmomm - it is good that you are doing your research. I did mine and for some reason felt the fear you are feeling, but after I got my surgery! I have to admit that I still do have some fears, but the longer out I get, the easier it gets. I have been most afraid of not being able to live in a way that feels "normal" to me. I can not imagine living with PBing, sliming, and vomiting. I also have to admit that I still think about the what ifs of slippage and other impacts of having something inside. That said, however, I can tell you a little about my journey so far. I have really taken a few things that our staff has said to heart. They will always make a point to tell us that "restriction" and being too tight are not the point of the band. It is really there to help us feel satisfied and think less about food between meals. We should not have pain with eating and should be able to eat most things normally (although smaller bites, chewing more, and smaller portions). There are so many things that we have to do to make this work. I want to make sure I take care of my total health in addition to losing weight. For me that means not having reflux or vomiting. It means feeling like I can eat healthy foods. And for now it also means that I have only tried a fill of 0.3 cc in my 10cc band (other than the small amount put in at the time of surgery). I have been at this for several months. And I am still hungry between meals - but I surprised at how full I can get on 1 slice of very thin pizza. I do try to really eat mindfully and enjoy what I am eating. I do not want to fill to the point where I do PB and slime - I am just too afraid of living like that. But I think you can learn to eat and work with your band without that being a part of your daily life as well. So far I have been able to lose 40 pounds in the 3 months I have had the band. I know I am not nearly as experienced as so many others here, but I certainly feels like I have been thinking about this process non-stop for so long. I know there will be a point soon where I will have to decide on trying to use the band more effectively. I do believe there is a way to work with it without dealing pushing it to extremes. Good luck to you with whatever you decide!

I am so sorry you are all struggling. To live with this for so long - and then to try something extreme and then feel like it is not working is so difficult. I have been afraid to try to get to restriction - I am too afraid to deal with vomiting, getting stuck and other not to pleasant side effects. I have tried to just use having the band as a way to change my habits, but it has been so many years of bad habits. There have been a few things that have stuck with me from meetings with our fill nurse that I have been trying to remember each day. She stresses that the lap band is there not to give us restriction, but to help with satiety. The idea is to help feel more satisfied between meals so we can stop thinking about food so much. The hard part for me is that I still have to make the choice to stop eating - I have to decide when I am satisfied (not too full). Another thing she stresses about restriction is not being too tight - being comfortable enough to eat the kinds of food that don't just slide down. I also have to make the right choices of foods at meals and Snacks for this. I would rather have crackers and dip - and not chicken and steamed veggies. She stresses that we can always choose to eat more, drink extra calories or eat soft foods. This all stuff I have to work on. There is no blame here! I am hungry a lot. Sometimes I know it is just because I seem my kids eating something. Or just because I smell something. But other times, I know it is because I have not had any fills yet (yes, I am a chicken). There has been so much of the time that I have wondered about the decision I made to get the band. But I don't think I could have gone to any other type of surgery. For now, it has helped me to be really mindful of what I am eating and how much I am eating. I am still eating what I enjoy - just not very much of it. I have cut out a lot of things that are not so important to me. And I try really hard to stick to the amount of food that is recommended. I am surprised that I can get full of such a small amout of food (1 slice of thin pizza eating very slow instead of the 4 I would have eaten without remembering) - and I get a bit more enjoyment out of food since I am forcing myself to eat slower and concentrate on what I am eating. I really wish you all some relief and comfort.

I had surgery at NWWLS too. I have to just add to the comments that those of you have already made about the office and staff. I have found that they will try to get you in to be seen as soon as they possibly can. The fill nurse will even see you at your house in an extreme occasion if it is an emergency for you to have an unfill. They really try to work with everyone for success and to keep you as healthy as you can be from everything I have seen.

I think it might just depend on how easily you bruise normally. I know I bruise from any kind of needle poke no matter how gentle. I have very fair skin and tend to bruise if I run into anything as well...

I remember reading on here once that someone recommended taking a deep breath and holding it. They said it helped them when they were stuck. If I would do this, I would imagine holding the breath "high" - on top of what is stuck. I have not been through this yet - I am so sorry you are suffering. I have held off on fills for a very long time because I have been afraid of these types of things. I hope you feel better quickly!

I also paid out of pocket for everything. I was trying to say the same things as Aubrie - I worry when I read so many times about people so tight and all the troubles they have keeping things down. I just can't imagine living like that. I want to be a healthy weight - but I also want to have total health. At this point, I am not willing to risk moving to quickly to restriction to get there. The office I go to does stress that you should be able to eat normal foods comfortably and tries to keep fills as reasonable as possible so you feel like you can come in to take ccs out as necessary too.

I just wanted to add that I think it is good when offices are a bit conservative with fills. I think maybe that is when they are making sure to educate us that it is our job to work with the band. I know I would like something to be a quick fix, but I have to be the one responsible for stopping when I am satisfied. I think there is a bit of a learning curve and maybe getting smaller fills will help us learn to work with the band.

Good luck to you in your journey from another Washington State Mom - of 2 girls to chase instead of 2 boys. I hope things go smooth and you get the information you need. And speaking of chasing, I had to run down the hill with them today to make it to the bus on time this morning. Luckily it was the last day of school. And I think I might need to shop for a few new pants since I almost lost mine on the way to the bus stop... I have been able to steadily lose weight with the band. I have been nervous about some of the things I had read here - like food getting stuck and vomiting. So I have not filled my band yet. But just know it is there has helped me change my habits significantly. And there is a lot of good information here and through most offices about how to best work with the band. Again, I wish you lots of luck with your journey.

To TamiSCool: I hope you are feeling better and take note to what some of what the more experience banded people have done. I know how much we all just want to love this weight, but I just can't image living with vomiting and PBs. Please remember the band is there to help us feel satiated - not to keep us from being able to eat. Regurgitation, not losing weight, and making poor food choices are all signed that your band is too tight. I know how hard this is! I am struggling on the opposite side. I have been keeping the band pretty much unfilled out of fear. I try to listen to when I am satisfied and do all the things I never did right before. It is really tempting to have the band physically do a bit more for me, but it does help me mentally to know it is there. Good luck!

It really worries me when I hear that someone is unsure if they should continue propping themselves up or choking at night. I often think about what we would say to anyone else we care about that would say to us that this is happening to them. Signs that you have too much Fluid in your band include regurgitation, night cough, discomfort while eating, poor food choices, and poor weight loss. Please remember about your whole health and that you want to feel good in addition to losing weight.

I am with Auntlucy on this one. The older I get, the more I realize that it is OK to respectfully let people know how I feel. I also think it is important to give people a chance to improve their behavior. Sometimes if we let them know we have a problem or concern, they will listen and make a change. We just have to give them a chance. I know it doesn't always work, but I do think we have to be honest and give that a try. If we don't know there is a problem, we can't fix it. When someone gives you unwanted "advice", you could joke that you are comfortable making your own choices, but are available to assess their daily nutrition if they would like. If the "advice" continues, I would just tell them that this is a personal issue that you are not interested in discussing.

It is probably hard to know how you will feel and depends on so many factors - especially if you are taking pain medication. I actually drove the day after surgery. I wasn't feeling great - but not too bad. I told my husband to go back to work and I was taking care of my 2 kids. I didn't drive far, but I was certainly able to do it. But I was also not taking any pain medication either. I was able to sleep when they were at school. Good luck!

I cetainly understand having fears and wanting lots of information! I think you are doing the right thing by getting yourself very prepared. It is smart to get a lot of information. If you do make the decision to move forward, you will probably feel like you have so many tools to help you succeed. For some reason, my fears started after I was banded (even though I did lots of research prior). But again, I have tried to use this to help gain information and figure out how to make things work for me. Learning that the band is there as a tool to help me feel more satisfied - not to make me stop eating - has helped me start focusing on how I can change my habits. I have been able to look at the band as a tool to help me and as something that will work "for" me. It has helped me be less "afraid" of it. Good luck with your decision and process.

As soon as I was banded, I was nervous about getting stuck, PBs and getting sick. I really wanted to feel "normal" - and have been really slow in moving through the stages. I also will probably stay on the looser side to avoid some of these things. Even though I might not stay satiated as long as some, I know the band is there and it helps me think more about how I eat and how much I am eating. I don't always eat the exact type of diet you should - not that mine is bad. I don't like meat or fish very much and would rather get protien from other sources. So, once I was ready, I did start eating very thin pizza and quesidilla's again. But, serving sizes are pretty small. And I eat them slowly and chew very well. This works for me, so I don't feel deprived of things that I enjoy. I am finding that since I have the band, I stop eating way before I would have in the past. I enjoy that I can go out and eat most foods. I have not tried to eat sandwiches, rolls or rice. But these are not really things I miss or want to eat. I have not tried Pasta yet, but I think if I really wanted it, that I could eat that as well. I do also allow myself to have a treat or dessert if I want one. I don't have much, but I have been able to enjoy this in moderation as well. I have looked at the band as a way to help me gain control. I want to be healthy. I know that means losing weight, but for me it also means having energy and feeling "normal". Being able to eat a healthy amount of real food has done that for me. And most of the time, I am not feeling deprived.

I have lost about 35 pounds so far, I would say I am not quite 2 sizes down yet...

To Wifeof46pilot - I hope you do think about this. I do get concerned when people try to get too extreme with the band or their body. Sometimes, I think about what we would think if we hear our children or other un-banded friends saying some of these things. If we heard a friend saying they were throwing up a lot or only able to eat popcorn, we would be so concerned for them. I know that losing weight is so important to regaining health, but we can lose perspective on our overall heatlth if that is all we are concerned with. TooTarts - thanks for starting this and getting more word out on this! The band is there to help us feel full - not to stop us from being able to eat.

You say you aren't too tight because you only have 2.5 cc - but I don't think the amount really matters. If can't eat properly, you could be too tight. Hopefully it is not anything else. But please at least start by having some fluid removed to see if that helps ease some suffering so you can get some proper nutrition.

I have not had any fills yet - because I am fearful of this happening (and lots of other things). But when I do, I would have to say, I would call right away for an unfill if I could not eat without getting sick. Is this how other fills worked for you? You have done so well losing weight in the past - I am guessing that you were able to eat and lose the weight. Please call and have the doctor remove some Fluid so you can eat more normally. You will feel better and probably be able to lose weight again. Your body won't be in starvation mode. I hope you feel better.

I know it can be so hard. We have all struggled for so long! It seems like you might want the band to lose the weight for you. Really, the band is just a tool, and we still have to do the work. I have not had any fills yet because I am enjoying that I can eat most foods still. I do get hungry and I really have to watch what I eat and how much. But I am looking at the band as a tool to help me make decisions - to help me think about slowing down and to think about portions. I don't want to go through getting sick and not being able to get any "real" food down. I want to make sure I have enough energy to enjoy life and my family. You are saying you want the lap band to work - so you have to let it do what it is supposed to do. The purpose of banding is not restriction. It is the achievement of satiety. Alot of people stop losing weight when their band is too tight (because they are eating liquid or soft calories), your pouch is stretched, or high calorie Snacks. Good luck!

I am sorry you are being treated badly. I know it can be very hard, but I always try to talk with someone who I feel is treating me badly or might have a problem with me. I tell my kids too, someone can't fix something if they don't know there is a problem. When I do address something, I try to use tactics that will hopefully not put them on the defensive. I might say something like, "I am sorry if I have done something to hurt you" or "It seems like we may have gotten off on the wrong foot" - to start out the conversation. It might take the edge off and make it easier to address the concerns you have with how you are being treated. (But again, I do think we have the responsibility to try to let someone know how we are feeling before we go to another party.) If that doesn't work, you should certainly address your concerns with the doctor and office. I have written a letter to a doctor in the past. You know they are a caring staff when they get back to you personally to address your concerns. Good luck!

I have been banded for about 7 weeks. I think it is great that you are doing a lot of research and reading. I thought I had done that, but for some reason, I had so many of the same fears you are having as soon as I got out of surgery. I am not trying to say I made a wrong decision or that you should not have surgery. I am just saying that it really helps you in the process to know all of these things up front. If you do decide to go ahead with surgery, you will probably know how to work with your band very well and not expect it to just do the job for you. So far, I have decided to not have any fills. I have actually had a bit removed for what they flush through during surgery. So, I guess I am pretty "open". But having the fears of getting stuck, having PBs, vomiting, and complications, have actually gotten me to slow down and think about my habits. I do eat slowly and take small bites and do all the things that you are supposed to do as a "bandster". I do watch the types of food I eat, but I can eat most things. I have not tried to eat breads or rice. But I enjoy that I can eat "normal" foods and can go out with my family and friends without worrying about having problems. During the liquid and mushy stage, I didn't have much energy. But once I got to real food, I have felt pretty good. I feel like I can run around with my kids and keep up with everyone - I would worry if I could only have 5 bites of food how I would manage that. I have lost about 27 pounds since surgery by working with the band. I know there might come a point where it becomes harder to eat the smaller amounts or pass up some Snacks. And maybe I will become brave enough to try a fill. But I feel like having all this information has taught me that the purpose of the band is not to be so tight that you cannot eat. You should not get to the point where you can only have liquids or cannot get down saliva. I will try not to get to the point where I would say I don't want to have an unfill to get rid of these potentially dangerous side effects because I am afraid of gaining weight. You are getting the information you need to make an inportant and scary decision.