westcoastmom

Thanks everyone for the understanding and empathy. I will have a bit of discussing to do with the staff at my 6 month appointment! Also - I wanted to say that I wasn't feeling judged - I just wanted to make sure my post came across as self-reflecting and not judgemental. It can be hard to know exactly how things will sound or read on the other end... Now off to more fun things. Some leprechans need Irish dance lessons.

Tarrn - thanks for sharing & I hope you can enjoy your new "visibility"! SpecialK (and anyone else who might read my original post) - I am sorry if it came across like my self-reflection was putting judgement on you or others. When I mentioned comments from support group, this is an outside group run by our medical group. (And I do really like their openness, honesty, and experience.) I really believe the is a personal journey and I know everyone has to decide what will work for them. It has been strange to me to have this inner struggle. I didn't even drop or change one class in my years at school/college. I seem to always research and know what I want. It surprised me that this has been one time where that just did not happen. And I can say that I do feel successful so far and feel good that I have not let these questions about the decision affect my overal outcome. I was just more curious if others had these fears, concerns or feelings.

Hello all. I have been enjoying reading everyone's posts, but just not posting for a while. I can't believe the summer is almost gone and kids are just about back at school - sometimes here in Seattle you miss the sun if you don't pay close enough attention. Although I read the ups and downs that everyone has in their journey with the band, it seems the one constant here has been that everyone really feels like this has been the best decision. Or at the very least, they are happy with the band and how it is working for them. I hesitate to post at times, because I am not sure I feel the same way. Which is just strange to say given that I have lost so much and am close to a comfortable weight. I seem to have struggled with this decision from the moment I got the band. I just have not gotten comfortable with having something in me that might slip or erode (ofcourse I knew about this before I did it). I also have never gotten to the point where I have tried to get close to restriction. I hear people at support group being so casual about carrying bags in their cars in case they get sick or knowing where all the public restrooms for a quick retreat that I sometimes wonder if I would be trading one form of eating issue for another. I guess when it comes down to it, I made this decision to try to get to a more "normal" state and all these other feelings about the band feel "not so normal" to me. It is such an inner struggle of knowing how much better off I am with almost 60 pounds gone, but still having the fear of all these other things. I think I also thought I would just suddenly feel so much better physically and that just hasn't been the case. I have struggled with some things that I never did before losing weight. My Iron has also been at a really low level for the past 2 months which has left me very run down. Ofcourse reading this post myself makes me sound like I am mentally struggling as well! Sorry for a depressing post! I have to say that luckily that has not been an issue. I have been fortunate to be fairly even keeled throughout many life struggles - pre and post band. And having two fun red-head makes that pretty easy too. I have actually been OK with the slower losing in the past month or two. I guess I know that I have been doing it without fills for the most part which in a small way helps me feel like I might be able to figure out a way to maintain a healthy lifestyle if I can't find a way to make this work. Thanks for listening!

Amanda - good luck and have fun tomorrow! I hope you update us with how it all went as soon as you can. What an achievement just to sign up and say you are going to do this. It is all down hill from there... Mscathyl - I hope the recovery continues to go well. All you other exercisers are doing great. I really should be getting some inspiration from you. I keep thinking that stretching with my girls before they dance might not be considered strenuous enough. (But it does make my oldest angry that her old Mom is more flexible than her.) And certainly watching my husband run a 10K isn't going to do it. But chasing our Houdini of a dog around the neighborhood might be getting closer. (We have a fenced-in yard and now are going to have to also get invisible fencing. She is an expensive rescue dog.)

Well, I did it. I had the fill nurse put in .5 cc's today. She wanted to put in about 3, but I was not going to go from not getting fills to getting 3... I have about 2 pounds more to lose to get to "overweight". I find that amusing. I probably won't be sharing that with any friends at home or my husband. Saying "Gee honey, lets Celebrate, I am finally overweight" to someone 6 feet tall and 145 pounds just can't go well... Maybe I will get a pedicure.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend! I am not in the mood to write about band stuff (not sure why - just tired). I will be with the girls at an Irish dance competition this weekend. We will be "getting Jiggy with it"... But, Sharon, I just had to say that I smile when I look at your posts and see that you are from Windsor, CT. My husband and I built our first house in East Granby - when we get back to visit, I still can't drive by without getting emotional. We lived in South Windsor for a bit before that. I even lived in down town Hartford when I was too young and naive to know how dangerous it was. I have been spending so much time making Pasta and cookie type things for kids. It is a wonder I have not eaten back 20 pounds. But not every Mom out there can make sugar Cookies in the shape of an Irish dancer...

I know everyone has to decide for themselves how tight they need to be. I try to remember that the band is there to help dim my appetite and help me feel full. I have to do the rest. I have to decide what quality of life I want to have with the band as well. I can certainly understand how after so many years of struggling with weight, we all want to just focus on doing whatever we can to get the weight off and keep it off. Sometimes it seems that can be at the detriment of overall health. For me and my band, I would try to keep adverse reactions away as much as possible. It seems that things that strain the area around the band would be things that might at some point cause it to fail. So again, for me, that means keeping PBs, sliming, and getting stuck at bay as much as I can. That is not at all to say that anything you are doing would be causing damage - you are probably still working your way to where you need to be. I also know these are things that I just don't want to be a part of my normal everyday life. I also don't want it to be a part of what my family or friends have to know or ever see. I want to be able to enjoy most foods - just in smaller quantities - and still be able to eat out with friends and family without worrying about running to the bathroom or making someone else uncomfortable. Good Luck!

Lapband or not - this is not OK. And I am not sure if you have talked to her about how you feel, but if she is a good friend and someone you wish to keep seeing, you need to let her know how you feel about this. I certainly would not feel comfortable eating with a friend that I knew would get sick each time we ate together. She needs to know that you care about her and her health - and in addition that her vomiting makes you uncomfortable. There truly is more to being healthy than just losing weight. I try to think about what I am going to do about a situation - not about what I am going to make them do. If let someone know how we are feeling without preaching or telling them what they "should" do, it can sometimes help. Good luck.

I have 2.2 cc's in my band - and I keep saying I will make an appointment for a fill. If I keep saying it, maybe one of these times I will actually do it. I am a little concerned that my port might be turning, so maybe I will go get it checked and actually have them put something in there...

My kids and I found a fun way to sneak a small amount of extra Protein in - we made chocolate chip Cookies with whole chick peas yesterday... OK, so not quite as healthy as some other things you are all talking about, but at least the kids are trying some new things! On a side note, I saw Mama Mia with 2 friends last night. It was a fun little movie. I think the 3 of us have decided to dress like them for halloween. Now, that would be some interesting photos to post here - flashy spandex one piece outfits with platform boots. The fact that I am even considering it is a miracle...

jencys - I am sorry you have been going through that for so long. You must have been feeling terrible. I am glad, though, you are going to call to get a small unfill. Even though we are all doing this because losing weight will help bring health to our lives I hope we can remember how important total health is - not just losing weight. Sometimes we let ourselves go through things that we would never let our friends, family or children go through. Could you imagine one of them telling us that they have not been able to eat since July 3rd? I know these are all such personal decisions and this comes from a place of concern (you just can't turn off the worrying Mom switch). I hope the unfill give you some relief! ...all this talk of low carb really makes me just want carbs! I have so much trouble getting enough Protein. If I cut out the Peanut Butter and cheese, I don't think I would get any!

Thanks everyone for the congrats - I am certainly am happy with any movement downward! I was focusing on being stuck at one weight for so long, it was nice to look at the progress over the whole month. Penny - I am sorry for your struggle, but I am glad you are now able to get some nourishment! I might have to break down and go for a very small fill just to see if anything is going on with my port. I keep feeling dull pain in the port area fairly consistantly. They want to check it out. Now that I think of it, it just might be a ploy to get me to try a bit of a fill. My body is sore today. I wish I could say it was from exercising too much. My 6 year old watched the Spiderwick Chronicles last night with us and her big sister and had to sleep with me. That girl gets around in her sleep!

Thanks Texgirl - your reply was in my head, but I think I actually said something closer to, "why yes, I was banded a little over 3 months ago". Hopeinapril - thanks for the congrats & I just love when the doctors put the scale anywhere below where I know it should be! And when you think you are losing slow - just think of this study of weight loss and its impact on your knees. It shows that there is a 4 pound reduction of knee joint stress for every pound lost. The accumulated reduction in knee load for one pound in weight loss would be more than 4,800 pounds per mile walked.

Well, I made it to support group and weigh in today. I knew it wouldn't be that great since I have been stuck for a while, but I at least lost 7.5 (yes the .5 matters) since last month. It is feeling very slow when I compare to some of you, so I will not compare! I also know I am slowly getting closer to the last part of this - today when they asked how far away from goal we were. I had to think about it, but it was really strange to say 35 pounds. I was also getting closer to making an appointment for a fill. Yes, I might actually get over those fears yet. But then people started talking about how often they get stuck, PB, slime - mind you happily talk about it - and I decided I could wait a bit longer. Sometimes I do worry if a few people have traded one eating issue for another... When I walked in the meeting, I was feeling so good in my new, well-fitting clothes. Then a women who was at the meeting just to gather information asked me if I had had the lap band surgery yet. I think that is what they call a Non-NSV...

I thought I would post a new thread here with one of the recipes I mentioned in the main thread in case anyone wanted to eat a veggie and dessert at the same time! This is the Brownie recipe - my kids love them. I do think you can sort of "feel" the spinach a bit, but the do still taste good. And if a child that only likes 7 foods will eat it, it has to at least be OK. We have made it like it reads below with spinach and carrot puree. We have also made it with carrot and sweet potato. Makes 12 brownies Ingredients: Nonstick cooking spray 3 ounces semisweet chocolate 1/2 cup carrot puree 1/2 cup spinach puree 1/2 firmly packed light or dark brown sugar 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 2 TBS trans-fat-free soft tub margarine spread 2 tsp vanilla extract 2 large egg whites 3/4 cup flour 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt Preheat oven to 350. Coat 8x8 baking pan with cooking spray. Melt chocolate in double boiler or over low flame. In large bowl, combine melted chocolate, vegetable purees, sugar, cocoa powder, margarine, and vanilla, and shisk until smooth and creamy. Whisk in egg whites. Stir in flour, baking powder, and salt with a wooden spoon. Pour the batter into the pan and bake 35 to 40 min. Cool completely in pan before cutting (to make sure spinach flavor disappears). Sprinkle with powdered sugar if desired.

... she says as she "embraces" her pizza for dinner! (But I am enjoying it, feeling no guilt and eating only 1/4 of what I would have eating 4 months ago).

Amanda - the "girls" thank you for the tips! Oh and I just read that you went rock climbing. My girls (the real ones) have done that for some parties before. That is one of the few things that I really have sat back and wanted to do but just not done. I am so glad that you mentioned that. I will have to put that on my list of things to do sometime. My 6 year old climbed to the top (when she was still 5) and I know she really wanted me to try it. But I just would have been too embarressed about getting the straps big enough and too embarressed at the visual from below. It is amazing what excuses I can come up with for not swimming and doing other things like this. I have to admit that I would probably still not quite be able to muster up the courage. But I will work on it! I also wanted to say that you are all doing so well - I know everyone's bodies will do this at their own pace, but you all seem to have owned your decisions and have come a long way in such a sort time.

That must be such a nice feeling, Amanda. Actually being proud of your own accomplishments - we usually have those feelings for other people, but to live in the moment and feel them for ourselves is not something we often get to do. I wish we could be there to see you cross the finish line! I don't have it in me to be a runner. I have always played sports, but "the girls" make it hard to run. I always feel like I have to wear a few extra undergarments to avoid hurting myself or others. (Sorry Fenton.) Monthly, weigh-in and support group meeting tomorrow. I think I will at least have gone down a few...

Stella - I have been very nervous about the band ever since I got it and have not wanted to have any bad consequenses. Although I have not wanted to have sliming, PBs, or vomiting - so I have done everything I could to avoid that. I certainly understand your anxiety, though. Mine started as soon as I got home from surgery. I wondered if I did the right thing even though I did so much research and thought I was so educated before entering this decision. I am sorry, though, that your anxiety has taken you to this point. I don't think mine got quite as far. I don't know if this will help, but I can think of a few things that I did and that you might want to try. First - I took it really slow to the actual food stage. I moved through the mushy and soft stages really slowly until I was really comfortable about how they were going through the band. Even when I moved on to more solid food, it was on to crackers and things that are considered "slider" foods. It gave me the sense that I was eating more solid food, but I knew it was stuff that usually was easy for most banded people to eat. Moving this way through food gave me more security about being able to get food through the band. Also - I have not PB'd or thrown up, but I know that everyone says that you should go to liquids and mushy food for a while after that happens so that you can make sure you are not swollen. Could the area around your band be irritated from throwing up and be tight just from being this? I don't think there is any reason you can't have most or all the Fluid out of your band if it will help you ease your way into this. I asked them to take most of my fluid out early on and have only have 0.3 cc's put back in. I know I don't have any real restriction and I enjoy knowing that I can eat fairly normally for now. I am taking this time to eat mindfully, eat smaller amounts and get used to everything. I still worry when I hear some people talk about the frequency of side effects that I don't want to have - or possibly doing too much for the sake of losing weight. But losing 45 since 3/27 would never have happened without surgery either. Good luck with your journey.

You know I have to confess that I still eat some of the foods that I really have always liked. There are certainly things I cut out - I don't eat breads, rice or potatos because I know they can cause problems. But since I do still eat things like very thin pizza or quesidilla's. I don't like meat very much and tend to eat too much dairy. But I have found that when you drastically reduce the amount of food you eat, you can really still enjoy some of the things you really like. It has felt a bit more like I am eating "whole" healthy foods and not just diet foods. When I track my foods, I also know when I have room left for a treat. It feels good to have something small at the end of the day. At the support group for our office, people there talk about never having some of the foods they really liked before banding. It might be that they are very restricted. But I always felt like that it what got me in trouble with dieting in the past - feeling deprived and then not being able to keep it up. Fenton - 2 slices of pizza doesn't sound that bad! And I just have to say that moving from NY/CT to Seattle, the one thing we miss the most is NY pizza!

Annie - At 41, I am way to old and uncool to say "bloody" anything without it sounding silly, but I will go with your theme and say it looks "bloody good"! I love your glasses too. I know what you think counts way more than what we all think, so I hope you can start feeling it too.

We have a great support staff at the office and they have been really helpful and reminding us how we need to work with the band. I think we all want something that will make us stop eating (I know I do) - but that is not really what the band is there for. The band is really there to help us feel more satisfied and think less about food between meals so we can make better choices. We still have to make the choice of how much to eat, when to stop, what to eat and how often. Our fill nurse runs support groups and she says over and over that the point is not eating until you are full. We still really have to think about how much we should be eating and make choices about only eating that much. Hopefully we can recognize that we are satisfied - maybe not eating like we used to, until the point that we were really full. Since I have decided to hold off on fills and try to get a handle on eating mindfully myself for a while, I do get hungry often between meals. But I am finding that it is a much smaller amount of food that does fill me up when I really make the choice to slow down and enjoy what I am eating. Since I don't really have any restriction, I know I could stretch my pouch if I eat too much. I am sure there have been a few times I have eaten more that I should have. I think if you really have concerns, that is something to certainly discuss with your physician and staff when you have an appointment. I know I could probably have them look at my band if I had some real concerns about doing something to it at this point. Good luck!

Anniedub - I am sorry you are going through so much. When I was closer to your age, I had a friend who had brain surgery. She had her head shaved. We all loved her really short hair look. I kind of remember that we were all a bit jealous that we thought she could pull this off and no one else could. She would sometimes wear cool scarves and hats, but mostly would just embrace the short hair. I think she might have bleached it too. We thought she was way sexier than us. And I also remember that she sort of let go of some of her inhibitions as well. She was really worried about what people would think all the time. Not just about her hair, but so much. But she seemed to smile more and just be more free when she walked around with her short hair. It was like she was finally OK saying, "this is me". You get much more of that when you turn 40 too...

Remember the real point of the band is to help you feel satiated for a longer periods of time - and to think less about food between meals. Not really to have lots of restriction. You do want the band to help you with cutting off your hunger and you will get there as you get fills. I have decided to hold off on them as long as I can and really try to eat thoughtfully and change as many habits as I can. I know I can use the band more when I will need to. But I also know that I have to be in control of stopping - we can always eat more than we should, even with the band. Especially the wrong types of food. It has been surprising to see how little food I actually need to get full. And how much I actually used to eat just for the sake of eating. I still struggle with wanting to eat more between meals and being hungry. And I know it can take some time to find the right balance for you and the band. But it is good to be able to eat real foods in limited quantities and NOT have them be stuck too. I don't think you should have to have that type of restriction be a goal.

Chica - my pickiest child really eats no more than 7 healthy foods. Now, luckily she eats these over and over again, so she does get a health diet. And I don't really do any "forcing", I just put healthy food out - I look at that as my job. I can't make them eat. And, yes, my picky one really does like the brownies with spinach and carrots in them! My little one who is not quite as picky at eggs with spinach in them this morning. I think that even though I love veggies, it is getting me to add them in more things that I was before too. (There is a ketchup recipe in there too - that actually has more real veggies in it, but we haven't tried that yet.) We have tried a few, but not a lot with meat since I don't like meat very much. They have Breakfast, meal, snack, and dessert recipes. We have eaten scrambled eggs (with cauliflower and/or spinach), pancakes with sweet potato, rice balls (spinach, sweet potato, squash), chocolate Peanut Butter dip (carrot puree), chocolate chip Cookies (chick peas), chocolate fruit dip (avocado, carrot puree). Plus - it is just fun getting the kids in the kitchen and exposing them to food more! (And getting messy when things shoot out of the food processor...)