NewSho

Carlene: That's horrifying! I never ever felt my band (more like my port) and even then only after I lost a larger amount of weight. I only notice it when doctors search around during fills - I realize they don't have to dig around quite as deeply as they use to have to dig. It's easier to find, as there is less of me to camoflauge it. You've lost quite a bit yourself, so maybe your (port and tubing?) is more noticeable. But no, not the band itself. That would be very scary. And of course your opinion matters - I only speculated whether being married/attached long-term sometimes makes some of us forget what "the dating meat grinder" is like. NurseKathy & Kat: I don't think my standards are too high. Au contraire, I'm trying to gird myself up against having "Fat Girl Better Take What Comes Her Way" syndrome. Although I did remember comedian Groucho Marx who famously said 'he'd never want to join a club that would allow him to become a member.' Especially when I was heavier, I would often wonder if I should date anyone who would date me.:heh: I like men, like dating, but doing it as an obese woman ranged from an exercise in futility to :paranoid just being a downright waste of time, sometimes. I was frankly having to keep my spirits up just to endure the whole process of getting up, primping up, fluffing up and dressing up to go out with pals (things I enjoyed when I wasn't obese) and being the fattest girl at the party/club/event - and knowing full well I was being overlooked for that. WHEW! That was tiring. I'd rather be positive, and experience positive outcomes. So although I realize many, many women here have had outstanding dating success despite their weight - for me - it's a little bit nicer to approach "The Dating Scene" without having to be fhe Fattest Girl or 'The Girl With The Great Personality'. :guess GreatDame: That guy sounds like a great pal to have in the "Single Gal Stable of Male Friends & More Than Friends." Very cool. Kat & Everyone: And oh, I don't just have a few LapBand scars. I now have a full hip-to-hip (albeit lower, pubic-level) Tummy Tuck scar that is more obvious than "just some Lap surgery." It's 180 degrees around the front of my entire lower body. And now I get to add a C-Section scar (for fibroid removal, not for a birth, mind you) on top of that. To me, this new C-section scar really bothers me. That's the scar I dread explaining the most. I'm single, no kids with a C-Section scar? Some guys aren't too bright but even they know a C-Section smiley face scar when they see one. I mean, gee, I can't wait 'til they ask me where the non-existent baby is! (*sigh*):phanvan According to my Plastic Surgeon, he placed the C-Section incision to hopefully fade along the existing Tummy Tuck scar line. As soon as it fully heals, I'm going to do so much scar therapy on that thing. I've got enough to deal with over here. Oh, it's an encyclopedia of scars around my bod. :eek: So just a brief "Oh I had some surgery" is what I hoped for, but I doubt it will go that smoothly. Explaining a LapBand is bad, but I have no intentions of introducing the stupid fibroid discussion. That's just too creepy - I'm absolutely squeamish about that stuff. GiveMeTheMoon: I won't give up the fight yet. I'm optimistic about finding someone special and until I do, I do have a fabulously full life & great friends. But I do know that my first hurdle was my weight. Now that I'm conquering that one, I'm having to deal with this "Scars & Surgery" hurdle. But I'm still out there fighting! :eek: Again, this input is outstanding.:clap2:

That's a great story, Karen. It's good to know that there is "New Love (or Lust) After The Band..." I think sometimes it's easy to feel like the only one who's been through a process like this, alone, especially on these forums (which naturally skewer toward the married/dating/settled.) In fact sometimes its discouraging to read someone say "Oh I'd just be bold, be frank, be confident when I'd have that talk, etc, etc" and then they say, but of course I've been married 50 years so I'll never have to have this particular problem. :eek: Thanks for the continued input.

Right. I guess I'd think that too - if I wasn't facing having to have "The Conversation. " :faint: You have someone who already knows about why you have the scars, so as for right now - this isn't something you'll have to explain with your unclothed body. (BTW, Nice feedback from the boyfriend - men do like direct, simple talk with little frill.) I was SO happy when the OP posted this, because I've been wondering the same thing. But it's different for me, and most people here won't have to deal with it, for sure. I mean, it's just like when I read threads where people go "how can I talk to my husband about me wanting surgery?" I read them and shrug, thinking "Gee, who cares? Just tell him and go do it.":rolleyes: Well that's easier for me to say because my reality doesn't involve having to persuade someone that his (pooled) money, his spouse and/or the kids' mother wants to 'go under the knife.' So to me, it's nothing to be concerned about, yet people come here often with that very real issue to consider how to discuss or explain this process to their hubbies/boyfriends. Of course, I don't get why it's a big deal. So I guess I'm totally looking at this as someone who has NOT been married 13 years or who does not have a boyfriend who supported me through the process. All men (even those we may like) aren't necessarily WLS-knowledgeable or WLS-comfortable. It's nice that you have had someone to 'go through' this with you, but part of the reason I did this (speaking for myself) was to increase my chances of finding someone I want to spend time with. To that end, the conversation will come up. I have more than a few little scars so it ain't gonna be like "he won't notice" or "he won't ask if I don't make a big deal about it." But again, I realize that's it's my deal - not most people's situation. And of course single people are far, far outweighed on this forum so this probably isn't really an issue that will 'light people's interest' :notagree like more universal topics will. That's cool. Appreciate the comments, though.

OK, that calculator said I'm 5.5# over my normal weight. (Not my medical ideal weight, that's some crazy number that I would have to be dang near in a hospital to get to, seems like ) Maybe they and my doctor are on the same page, cuz his goal for me (he's ultra-conservative about goal weights) is just under 6# from where I am now. Obviously they haven't seen my thighs.:phanvan (*shudder*) I think I could lose a good 15# (or about 9.5# past my doctor's very conservative goal) and look fabulous. I just hope I can do it healthily - so I can look and feel good - that's what matters. Hard to believe that I could be within sniffing distance of goal, but the closer I get the slower I seem to lose weight. It's such a grind - I'm fighting to lose each ounce until I get another nuclear fill like I had before. :nervous Wish me luck.

On average if you take Meridia for 12 months along with a reduced calorie diet, you lose approx. 10-15# in a year. You tend to lose about 1# per dosage (in mg) over a year. Oddly enough, it's least effective in patients with a BMI of 50 or over, as they tend to lose much less. One landmark Vanderbilt University study proved: In one 12 month study, patients who took 10 mg of Meridia daily lost an average of 10 pounds, while those taking 15 mg daily lost an average of 14 pounds On average it costs about $3 per pill, retail. A 30-day monthly supply runs approx $90-$100 at full cost (some insurance plans covers it, but most do not).:phanvan So you have to decide if the prescription is worth it for you. Sure, who wouldn't like to lose an extra 10# or more a year, but at a yearly cost of over $1000 (retail price)? But, hey for some of us, every bit helps! Good Luck.

Nothing to say but... ((( HUGS ))) Bless you, we're thinking of you & Love you!

Ooh good ones. I forgot (*slaps forehead*) I have Coldplay, Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver , and of course tons of U2 & Clapton on my iPod. And tons of early Led Zep ("Houses of the Holy" and "Led Zep IV" CD songs) for the mellower mood. I've got Alice in Chains too. Oh, and also some Soundgarden and Audioslave so something about Chris Cornell's voice does it for me. That's cool that you have Screaming Trees, Dinosaur Jr, Paul Westerberg, Buffalo Tom. Do you like Steve Malkmus, Pavement, Belly, Veruca Salt, (wait, maybe I watched too many episodes of "My So Called Life", right?) Hey, come on LapBandTalkers - share your lists. Telly, maybe you should bump this back up again!

No, the question doesn't make you a prude. But it is realistic that a single person might encounter someone who didn't know they have had surgery. And having that conversation about surgery might not be easy. So it's not about lying, it's about me developing something to say that will also make someone else comfortable with my scars, my surgery, etc. It's too easy to say "Oh just say you had LapBand surgery and he'll be cool." If only it were that simple. Nobody wants an intimate encounter or even a non-intimate encounter that involves being less clothed (like swimming, Hot Tubbing, Jet Skiing, etc) to be awkward. :paranoid And even if you tell him/her why you have scars doesn't make it any more accepted. Do you think everyone is accepting of Weight Loss Surgery? If only they were. I think in this society, men can be very judgmental - even those that you might share your body with. I guess to someone who's been single a while, it seems like a fairy tale world where "Men are understanding and accepting, and love/like you for who you are, not what you look like." I've never met those men. And trust me, I think I'm attractive - but what I have been is fat.:phanvan And for a woman, being fat outweighs anything else in most single mens' terms. Period. Honestly I've been in rooms where I one was of the prettiest girls there at least. But I was also one of the fatter ones or the fattest. :kiss2: Believe me, it does no good to be pretty but fat. None. So when people tell me how "accepting" men are, I guess my own set of experiences makes me feel differently. Maybe I'm the only woman here who has been 'passed over' by a man due to her weight, since I see a lot of married women & women in relationships post about their relationships even though they are also overweight/obese/working on their weight. :clap2: And now that I'm working on my weight, it's ironic that the methods I used to improve my body - are the same methods that have scarred up my body. And that will take some explaining, no matter what. Keep it coming, girls!

This is an issue that a lot of us struggle with. Not eating until we're full is pretty common for us, I believe. As obese people (or formerly obese people) I think our stomach signals get mixed up, not heard or just ignored. I am hoping the band will help me with this, but I really need to get my restriction back because I personally do better when I get the "satiated" signal earlier, rather than later. Good Luck!

These are excellent responses. It does sound great to say "Oh he should like/love you for who you are" but I guess I feel like we live in a very shallow, looks-oriented society. Any girl who's spent time at a bar, nightclub, pub or party lately might also have felt it. What was acceptable even in the 90s doesn't fly anymore. Now men want perfect or near-perfect men with Abs of Steel, it seems. Hopefully more single gals will weigh in on how they've dealt with this issue. C'mon girls - what have you experienced?

Eficka: James Blunt & Jack Johnson - you Melancholy baby, you! They're cuties though, both of 'em. Either of them are invited over anytime for a private concert. DrewsLou: Oooh I love that list: DMB, the VFemmes, The Cure, Beasties, wow - very diverse list. Gee, I must have really diverse taste in music, because I listen to everything. It's funny because, right now my iPod is heavy on 80s Pop and 90's tunes (because I changed it up for my two vacation trips this month. I wanted "chill on the plane" songs & "walk around the airport music" rather than "Pump It Up" tunes, you know?. But it's currently got everything from Hendrix to Outkast, Gwen Stefani & No Doubt, Duran Duran, N.E.R.D and Pharrell (love him!), Madonna's later stuff, Matchbox 20 & Rob's solo stuff, Tupac Shakur, think I might have Gretchen Wilson, Earth Wind & Fire (just saw them live this month at the Essence Festival Concert and they totally rocked it!), Jay Z, Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks. T.I, Seal and much, much more. And hey - who sings that song "Honky Tonk Bonkadonk?" Oh, yeah , Trace Atkins.* Stevie Nicks, Gretchen Wilson, Jay-Z on one playlist? OMG, my iPod has Multiple Personality Disorder! Keep the playlists coming, ladies! (*You know what, everytime this forum own's Dr.C - whose real name is Trace Curry- signs his real name, I think of the country music/pop singer Trace Atkins! Is it just me?)

Tricia has some goodies on her list too!: Oooh I love Sugarland, Gretchen Wilson, I like the Dixie Chicks' version of "Landslide" too (all though I'm a big Stevie Nicks fan so I'll always love the Fleetwood Mac original version). I miss Sublime too, it's sad they'll never make more music.

I can't say anything but ((( HUGS ))). We all have the thorny paths that we walk along our journeys. No matter what leads us here, we can still support each other. So, welcome.:sick P.S. - I know you are special, because look how you spelled façade with the correct punctuation.

LOL, Telly. Gotta love the "Yin Yang Twins" CD and besides, who else but me :heh: would bring a copy of "Badd (B*tch)" to her plastic surgeon's office so he could hear the refrain: "I'm looking for a dime* That's Top of the Line Cute face, slim waist, with a big behind..." And BEACHEE - you win the prize for having both Too $hort and Kirk Franklin one on Playlist. You rule, too! :clap2: I'm going to log onto iTunes and load up my iPod with some more goodies tonight! *Dime= is slang for a Woman who's a "Perfect 10" - Get it? Dime = Ten!

Those are some great ones to get the heart rate pumping. Love the PCD, Sean Paul, and all the Neptunes & Scott Storch mixes on your list - those always keep you going!

These are VERY good questions that single gals wrestle with. I'd love to hear what other single girls think about facing this particular challenge. Give us your feedback! No, I'm not claiming to speak for all single women because I know a lot of them will come back and say " Oh it's my body, and whoever I'm with can just deal with it." That's cool. But face it, in Texas (where you also are, Original Poster), the stakes are high. There is a lot of competition from naturally gorgeous, naturally shapely sexy girls in the bars, Happy Hour, etc. A single gal has got to bring her "A" game in the Lone Star State and the guys really expect Texas girls to look a certain way. It might not be fair, but it's the truth. We've got to be armed for war! I have mentioned that in support groups and such that some of our happily married members kind of shrug off things like scars. {"Oh, I don't care, my husband doesn't care, he loves me no matter what!" they sometimes say.} Well that's great. But I always remind them to remember that some of us don't have someone who has pledged to love us "For Better or Worse" or "For Wrinklier or For Saggier." I think it might be easy for someone who's been in a relationship for a while, to forget what it's like to have to show their body to someone for the first time. It won't be easy for a lot of us single gals who have surgery to be comfortable. The port thing isn't an issue - I don't think I'd EVER get thin enough for my Lower-Profile port to be felt by me or anyone. The only time I feel my port is when the doctor is doing a fill. Otherwise, I honestly am never conscious of it, so that's fine. Now scars are a big deal. I know I personally am very concerned with how the scars look - and I base everything on what it will be like if I am 'getting close' to someone for the first time. :nervous And men are horny but if they see anything that surprises them they all feel justified in asking questions! The Gall Bladder story is a great cover - but now I've had an Abdominoplasty (Tummy Tuck) so I have to come up with a good explanation for that, too! (And since the T. Tuck, my LapBand scars that used to be on the side, are now front and center on my new slimmer front. Oy vey!) But I look so much better, that I am crossing my fingers that the benefits of the Band & Tummy Tuck outweigh the scars. But I honestly dread having to do that 'first reveal' to someone other than a doctor. Nobody wants someone pointing to your body at an intimate moment and saying: Oh my gawd, what the heck is that scar?" Hopefully things will go well. But I can say that being single does make this process a whole bunch different. And I'd love to have a bikini body also, one day. I am single with no kids - so I hear people say "Oh I'd never wear a bikini no matter what size I get to" but I'm thinking "But I would like to be able to, if I wanted to! I wanna be a sexy, single gal." And boy do I have a long road ahead of me. Wish me luck and tell me what other singles think!

Yay, Penni... You're taking positive steps, no matter what you decide to do ultimately. Your post made me think of one of my favourite Billy Joel songs, "Second Wind". Read the lyrics and see what you think: ******* "Second Wind" by Billy Joel You're having a hard time and lately you don't feel so good You're getting a bad reputation in your neighborhood It's alright, it's alright Sometimes that's what it takes You're only human, you're allowed to make your share of mistakes You better believe there will be times in your life When you'll be feeling like a stumbling fool So take it from me, you'll learn more from your accidents Than anything that you could ever learn at school Don't forget your second wind Sooner or later you'll get your second wind It's not always easy to be living in this world of pain You're gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again It's alright, it's alright Though you feel your heart break You're only human, you're gonna have to deal with heartache Just like a boxer in a title fight You got to walk in that ring all alone You're not the only one who's made mistakes But they're the only thing that you can truly call your own Don't forget your second wind Wait in that corner until that breeze blows in You've been keeping to yourself these days Cause you're thinking everything's gone wrong Sometimes you just want to lay down and die That emotion can be so strong But hold on Till that old second wind comes along You probably don't want to hear advice from someone else But I wouldn't be telling you if I hadn't been there myself It's alright, it's alright Sometimes that's all it takes We're only human We're supposed to make mistakes But I survived all those long lonely days When it seemed I did not have a friend Cause all I needed was a little faith So I could catch my Second Wind ******* We're totally behind you 100%...:clap2:

So many "WOW Moments" lately: Starting to finally see real results and not having be thought of as a 'Band Failure' Fitting into a Size 11/12 dress and dang near crying in the Dressing Room When my super-critical male cousin (ex-athlete) looked and said "Dang, you're really fine!" Having people who don't know I've had surgery, tell me I've lost so much weight Fitting into fashion brands that I couldn't wear before losing, shopping in hip stores and not feeling like no one knew why I was there Getting to buy "Bad Girl" clothes and lingerie (now if I had someone to wear them for :phanvan Just knowing I'm a happier, healthier, hotter gal than I was this time last year :kiss2:

Sleepy, I wasn't much of a sweat-prone person before LapBanding, even at my highest weight. But after surgery? I started sweating like nobody's business. It was at it's peak for those first 3-5 months (right where you are as a Post Op) and I was really upset about it. Why was I sweating now, when I didn't before surgery when I was heavier? Well, it was because I was in a state of ketosis. In other words, as my body burned it's own fat (something it was loathe to do, apparently) it secreted some of the excess through my underarms. I was so shocked and embarrassed because I never had sweatiness and underarm odor like that in my life. Also my breath was in question, for those first few months. The same reason - ketosis - meant I was secreting that burned fat through the mouth. (I know yuck.) I just doubled up on Altoids and brushed FREQUENTLY. :paranoid Anyway, my body eventually calmed down and things went pretty much back to normal. So this might actually be a good sign! :clap2:

CONGRATS! It will just keep getting better and better!

I'm not at 150 but getting closer to goal. I had the older, regular one before and I had it switched to a lower-profile port so that it wouldn't show as I lost weight. Nowadays some surgeons only place the lower-profile ports, but some surgeons charge $300 extra (as the manufacturer, Inamed, charges more for the lower-profile, slimmer ports.) for the slimmer ones. Then a few months back, when I had my Tummy Tuck, the Plastic Surgeon moved it over and down. It should stay put even after I lose weight - nobody wants a port that's visible! A question for you: Do you have a regular LapBand port or a low-profile one? If you do have a lower-profile port, it shouldn't be much of an issue at any weight. Good Luck.

Luckily a glass of wine doesn't seem to do me any harm. (Margaritas seem to do well too and don't even dare ask about my "adding protein powder to the Margarita habit", LOL) but I can no longer drink on an empty stomach. Even a light snack or some cocktail nuts seem to help a bit - but if I haven't eaten, then I'm no more good. That's why it's important to have a designated driver! )

Hang in there & keep it going!

I brag on him all the time (no he's not my surgeon, but I still respect him totally). He's banded himself, he's got great bedside manner, he's considerate, he's a great technical surgeon, and my friends who have been his patients have thrived. One of my closest pals lost 100# under his care and there are so many others like her. His patients tend to be healthy, happy and satisfied. I think they just wish they could see him more - but Monterrey is far away, unfortunately. If only he were in the United States, or if only we could CLONE him. (And I always have to mention that he's adorable. Simply adorable! I always post his picture but I swear I'm not going to, this time! )

Apples - at least you're losing all over. You probably wouldn't like losing it in all the wrong places, right? The Best Me (and Jachut) I'm with you. I'm a classic pear who is striving to be an hourglass. I had a Tummy Tuck but I was trying to whittle down some weight (Ultimately I'd before I had my Lipo to correct Mother Nature's errors over here. Now my excess weight is still firmly cemented on my Thunder Thighs and my Rubenesque (sounds better than Round, right?) Hips. Funny how my body decided to burn my boob tissue before it dared touch my lower body which had plenty to spare! I think I have one of those sexy 50's style Pin Up Girl figures under all this flab. So if I aspire to be a Classic Hourglass (Va-va-voom! :confused: ) then that might take lifting 'The Twins' a bit to get things in proportion. Let's keep fighting the fight.