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Well, long time no see.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. I should have been expecting the other shoe to drop after having it so easy for the first three weeks post op. I was getting my water and protein easily, had no pain, nausea, or vomiting.
But as soon as the soft foods really started in earnest I started having problems. Pain, foamies, slimeys, vomiting galore. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to it. Something that I ate easily yesterday causes pain and vomiting after the first bite today. Sometimes it's my pills, other times they go down easy. I just don't get it.
I'm trying to stay positive. I know this is a season in my life, and things will eventually even out. I'm just so tired of being afraid to eat, not knowing what kind of response my body will have. I'm mostly hitting my protein target, thanks in large part to protein shakes (which I hate, but look at as medicine). I missed my water targets by a lot over the weekend, due mostly to feeling awful, which I know is a terrible cycle... throw up, don't feel like drinking anything, get dehydrated, get constipated, feel like crap, repeat.
The three-week stall is also still here. I thought I had busted through it, but I've been bouncing between 216-219 for the last two and a half weeks, which is a contributing factor to my mood and frustration level. And add in wee-lings who are going crazy with end of the school year insanity, friends with busy schedules who I haven't been able to see in weeks, and I'm an unhappy girl.
Things will turn around. I know they will. Just not feeling it at this moment.
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Thanks @FluffyChix! I know the stall will break, it has to eventually given I'm only consuming 700ish calories a day and I am trying to be active every day. I confess it's hard to be motivated to go for a walk though when I feel like crap.
Cold water seems to be better for me right now... icy anything makes my tummy happy. It's when my water gets to room temp that it is harder to get down. But I am committed to getting my water in. It's so funny, before surgery I never had a problem with water. Today I decided that I won't count my 'other fluids' as part of my water total... they have to be over and above my target.
I'm looking forward to lowering my reliance on the shakes. I really don't like them. I got clearance with my RD to cut back on them, provided I can hit at least 80g of protein without them. But I haven't been able to manage that just yet. I'm hoping in the next few weeks, provided I can get real foods to go down and stay down.
Thanks for the encouragement!
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80 grams without protein shakes at your stage feels very ambitious IMHO? Are you sure she didn't mean 80g including protein drinks and food sources?
We all heal so uniquely! Don't rush advancing. I know it's hard not to, but your tum will heal easier if you just listen to it and what it will and won't allow for the day.
Gosh I so get the motivation of the scale!!! ((hugs)) With one reading I can determine my mood for the day. LOL. Then I wait a bit and have a nice poop. haha Mood restored. I'm ever just one solid poop away from a good mood. hehe
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She was pretty clear... I asked about cutting back on them last week and I'm guessing she wanted to encourage me to continue with the protein shakes without actually saying so. Making it my decision. I have 2 shakes a day, plus some protein powder in my breakfast, so I'm hoping to maybe drop one shake a day in a couple of weeks. I'm really not into the lack of satisfaction they provide for the calories they take up in my daily totals.
I *know* that this is just a step on the road. I need to put on my big girl undies and deal with it. And I need to really learn to listen to my body and not push too far too fast.
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