amy6152

I'd been doing so well since my surgery, but the last two weeks have been brutal. My stress level's been high for months because my teenage son's struggling with mental health issues and been out of school since September, but I was managing to stay on program. (My work suffered, but that's another story.) Fast forward to a month ago, and my 11 year-old daughter has been diagnosed with a debilitating chronic pain syndrome no one in our town knows how to treat. I went into full mama bear mode, researching everything and reading medical journals and locating a treatment program some five hours away at one of the best children's hospitals in the country, but my daughter's getting worse by the DAY and sometimes sobs in what she says is ten out of ten pain. Finally got the call from the good hospital that they can see her in two weeks, but God only knows if that will be in-patient or driving back and forth all the time or WHAT. I'm grateful she got in and hopeful this make a difference and puts this beast into remission, at least for a while, but meanwhile my eating has gone into the toilet. There is no doubt in my mind I'm eating for comfort. None. Every day I try to get back on track and by late afternoon I'm crying uncle. I just had this surgery so what the heck am I doing? But I sit there in the moment and desperately try to think of something else I could do that would make me feel better, and there's NOTHING. Just nothing. One bit of good news, my son started back at school two days ago, so at least we're moving in the tunnel (even if I don't see any light yet) instead of camped out inside it. I don't know what I'm looking for posting here. I don't know what can change my behavior right now. Just throwing it out there to the universe!!!

I've been playing ostrich for a while now. Just came back to post tonight and found this old thread of mine, so figured I'd update it with, well, an update all-around. Back in February, I thought my daughter (who's twelve and dealing with a chronic pain syndrome) was going to start receiving treatment soon at a top children's hospital. I was wrong. That was just an evaluation; she actually started the treatment program six days ago--some three months after that evaluation. Doing so required us to move five hours from home; my husband and two other kids are back home. That's an oversimplification, but let's go with it. My older son was also dealing with debilitating mental health issues back then, which got worse before they got better. In early April, he told me his suicidal thoughts had become so intense he was afraid he couldn't handle them anymore, and we decided to do something radical--taking him three hours from home for 12 days for ketamine infusions for depression. The good news is, they helped tremendously. I truly believe he's going to be okay, which is HUGE. The bad news is, my eating issues that I posted about in February never improved. I never improved them. I ate my stress away. Given that, I don't know that I've gained any weight. Maybe five pounds, maybe not, but my weight loss has AT LEAST completely stopped. As I said, I'm now living away from home, and I didn't even bring my scale. I am making an effort as of right this stinking moment to get back on track. With my daughter in this pain treatment program 40 hours a week, I'm finally free to help myself. I'm going to the YMCA tomorrow morning at 5:15, and I'm at least making an effort with my food. It's not good. Don't get me wrong. But it's better than it was. I'm also going to work. Did I mention, all this mess has meant I've done virtually no work since autumn, and I'm self-employed? My income is going to be 20% of what it was the year before. More stress. I want to do well. I want to be healthy. But frankly, dealing with one kid in unbelievable pain for the past seven months and another who just wanted to die...Cheetos seemed completely reasonable for a while there. Sometimes they still do. I'm back, and I'm trying. Good to be here.

My bras are too big, and so begins what I imagine will be a journey of boob and torso shrinkage that will cost me a bundle! An Amazon review clued me into bra extenders, so I plan to buy two bras that will fit me snugly right now, as well as two that are the NEXT size down, along with the bra extenders to make everything work along the way. This got me wondering about tips and tricks others might have to minimize new clothing costs as we lose the weight. Obviously there are cheap places to buy clothing (consignment shops and Goodwill among them), but I'm really thinking about hacks. For example, is there some way you've found to make your too-big shirts look great? Maybe a clip of some kind, or a simple sewing technique? I don't know... Just throwing this one at the wall to see what sticks!!!

Sorry to hear your kid is struggling. It's hard to stay positive and focused in the face of stress like that. Your oxygen mask first. Can't do anyone any good if you don't take care of yourself.

I had a terrible psych eval experience. Like you, I thought if I was sane and in charge of my life and making the decision for the right reasons, I'd be fine. WRONG. Not only did I fail, the therapist went up one side of me and down the other. It was awful. In hindsight, it had everything to do with her and zero to do with me. I spoke with the director of the bariatric program, but there was no budging, no second opinions permitted, and certainly no possibility the therapist was the one with the problem. It derailed my journey completely. I wasn't against therapy (God knows I have food issues or else I wouldn't be here), but the woman who did my psych evaluation wanted me to come back after a few months of therapy to see if I was "better". Such BS. I was so anxious about the idea of being judged by her again, I stopped going to therapy after a few sessions and really thought about whether or not I wanted this surgery. Just so happened, when I was really to get back on the path, it was 11 months since my psych eval. It expired after a year. I let it expire and redid it with a different therapist, who felt so sorry for me after my tale of woe she apologized and approved me saying, "I think you've been through enough already!" My brother-in-law was going for his psych eval this summer and I told him exactly what Ed told you. LIE. Tell them what they want to hear. That's what he did, and he was approved on the first go-round. I will say, the extra YEAR it took me to get this surgery did give me an awful lot of time to think about it, and the changes required for it to really be successful. When I went for follow-up therapy, I chose to go to a therapist I'd seen years earlier for something else. Would you believe she'd had gastric bypass twelve years before, and in the two or three years since I'd last seen her, she'd gained about fifty pounds? That was the most valuable thing I got out of therapy. Staring at her and thinking I'd really have to change if I didn't want to follow in her footsteps. I hope you find a way back on the path quickly, and with as little BS as possible!!

I have. Been trying to eat what I think is a reasonable amount of protein (the half chicken breast, for example), then add fruits or vegetables. That's what my nutrition program says to do, anyway.

Thank you for the words of encouragement and suggestions. They really helped! I was completely back on program yesterday for the first time in a week or so, and the scale went down today. Feeling much better, and remembering I need to take care of MYSELF so I can take care of MY KIDS.

I know stalls are common, but I'm just over a week into my first and quietly weeping in a corner. I actually gained weight the last two days, which is super sucky and not at all justified based on what I've been eating!! Which brings me to my question. Do you change your eating to break the stall, or stay the course and toss the scale in the garbage? Is a stall indicative of a problem, or is it just a normal bump in the road? I'm sure it CAN BE indicative of a problem, but is it always? After gaining yesterday and today, I found myself being hypercritical of everything I put in my mouth. Yesterday I was counting calories like it was my job, leaving me horrified when I saw I was at 1,500. That sounds like a lot, but I've been following the nutrition guidelines and losing weight like a champ until now. Today I tried to eat less, but I spent the whole day preoccupied by food and seriously hungry. Not head hungry. Actual, physical hunger. Then I would eat something, which meant I ate more times than I normally do today, and probably didn't change my calorie intake much at all. * sob * Thoughts??

Talked to my nutritionist because I was concerned. She said to keep it to 1000-1200/day but my food log looked good--I'm on program. So I felt better, made sure I didn't overdo it by those standards, and the scale started to move again. I'm down 73 since surgery.

Here's a link to mine. Compared to others on here, my hospital seems to move at a snail's pace, but it worked out well for me. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/highland/bariatric-surgery-center/life-after-surgery/bariatric-diets.aspx

My hospital takes your gallbladder out at the same time they do the sleeve (if necessary), not in two separate operations. I had it done this way. When I googled my surgeon, I found he'd actually authored a journal article on how this is safe and effective (a few years ago). Didn't realize anyone was still doing them separately, but maybe my guy isn't he norm? I was glad to have it all done in one go.

I was debating whether or not to post about this, as I haven't seen a lot of screw-ups on these pages, but I've got a doozy. I'm five and a half weeks out. I've been following my (very restrictive) diet to the letter almost all the time. My only deviations were a little Thanksgiving stuffing and some regular cheese at a party, where I'd brought deviled eggs for myself but didn't plan on being there so long and DO YOU KNOW THERE'S A LIMIT TO HOW MANY FREAKING DEVILED EGGS A PERSON CAN EAT IN FIVE HOURS? Lesson learned on that one. Next party I brought something I could live off for a year. Holiday parties everywhere. Anyway, the cookies. So, yesterday was a crap-tastic day. A member of my immediate family is struggling with mental health issues and let's just say everything came to a nice sharp point yesterday morning. I was wound up tight, and it just so happened I had "make cookies" on my calendar for a cookie exchange this weekend. In hindsight this is laughable, but in the moment I truly thought I was being proactive and getting those cookies made a day or two early, and wow, am I rocking this mom thing. Fast forward several hours and I can provide you with the following truths. One, I was making those cookies to eat because I was emotionally devastated. Two, my sleeve can hold far more cookies than I would have thought possible from the meager amounts of chicken that manage to fill me up. Three, there IS such a thing as dumping syndrome for sleevers, and it's a horrible experience. And four, it's amazing how quick your brain can be to jump from "really bad day and a subsequent bad choice" to "I'm a complete failure and I'm never going to be able to do this." So there. Those are the highlights of the cookie incident. I went to bed early, feeling so sick and so darn sorry for myself. What a loser! I almost deleted that sentence. I'm feeling some compassion toward the me of yesterday, and I know I'm not a loser. I know one mistake does not the future make, and I also know there will be others. But man, that was hard. It was hard to live with in the moment, and afterwards. It makes me think twice about even going to the stupid cookie exchange. The situation at home is ongoing and my stress level has been hard to manage. I'll meet the mom for coffee instead, explain I just wasn't able to make that particular holiday party, or just not take any cookies home with me and ignore the whining of my children. Ugh. I hate all of these options. I think to really be successful through this holiday season, I have to control WHAT'S IN MY HOUSE. I can go to a party or a family gathering and eat something that's not "on the list", but I can't bring it home. That's me. That's where I am, and what I have to do. Here's hoping the kids will understand.

Here's the protein screen from Baritastic.

I use the Baritastic app for protein. It has a built in counter for water, too, and reminders you can setup for vitamins, though I actually created a widget on my phone with a checklist for my vitamins (from my Business Calendar app), so it's staring me in the face every time I pick up the device. It was a pain to setup, but I love how it works and that it repopulates every day.

How many calories are you eating? Are you meeting your protein goals? I use the Baritastic app which my hospital recommended. Not sure if you can use it without a hospital affiliation code or not (you may be able to, and it's free). It's great for tracking food calories and protein, carbohydrates, and fat.

Sorry you're struggling with dairy. I saw Premier Protein has clear protein shakes. They look like a Gatorade-type beverage instead of milk-based (though I didn't read the ingredients). Here's a link: https://www.premierprotein.com. Not sure I'd ever hit my protein goal without dairy. Must be difficult for you.

Tomorrow marks eight weeks since I've had my surgery. I'm down 60 pounds. That number seemed huge to me this morning, whereas the ones before it were a little surreal. But 60 pounds? That's a second grader! My face is looking like my face again. I'm super tall, so 60 pounds on me looks like less than a smaller woman. Here I am in all my dirty hair, makeup-less glory...

Yes, everyone loses at their own rate. I'm getting tons of protein (often over 100g, but always at least 65g), always take my vitamins and iron (I'm anemic). The water I used to struggle with, but I'm really doing much better. Have learned if I'm in the window 30 min after meals and 30min before the next one, I should be drinking like it's my job. Also struggling a bit with the calcium, because I'm supposed to take it three times a day (THREE!!! Isn't that insane??). I understand the reasons and I've read the research that proves it's necessary, but man, it's hard to remember to take it. Between the iron (2x/day on an empty stomach--Floradix), multi-vitamin (1x/day, mine includes the recommended levels of B12 and thiamin I also have to take--Source of Life Liquid Gold), and calcium (3x/day), plus the Colace and my regular meds in the morning, I feel like a medicine-taking machine. And remember, you aren't supposed to take iron and calcium within two hours of each other. That makes it fun, LOL. Hard to imagine that's all FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. But yes, I'm getting everything I should except all three doses of calcium. Have to do better on that one.

I'm taking Source of Life Gold Liquid. Expensive, but frankly they all are. This one meets my doc's B12 and Thiamine requirements, too, and I love that it's liquid (though it tastes terrible, truth be told). I have trouble swallowing pills since my surgery. I'm iron deficient as well, so I take Floradix. Also liquid. Unusual taste, but I like that one.

My doc said Milk of Magnesia. Used it twice so far. That's what you get with a close to zero fiber diet.

You can be allergic to cold. Google cold urticaria. I know someone who has it. Hope you're ok!

My nutritionist asked at my six week appt if this happened to me, which it has not. She said it's very common!

I've never been a cold person, but since my surgery I'm freezing all the time, especially in the evening and night. I had to get a heated mattress pad because I couldn't fall asleep I was so cold!! Anyone else experience this? I feel like my body's response to the reduced energy intake is to reserve power for crucial functions, LOL...

It wasn't meant to be snarky? I find that hard to believe, given that you go on to call her a crazy liar in the same paragraph. We all see things in the posts of others that we don't agree with, whether it's eating something we personally consider to be off-limits, or justifying certain behaviors and reinforcing old thought patterns. There's no shortage of things we could choose to be critical about. I wouldn't have thought you were out of line if you only expressed concern for her wellbeing, but you took it too far and attacked her personally. I, for one, will not tolerate bullying. I encourage those of you reading this thread - or others like it - to report posters who attack other members. Let's keep this a safe place for honest talk and respectful discourse.

Awesome advice. I love lifting weights and just recently got up the nerve to show my face at the gym again after years of avoidance. Weightlifting truly has the ability to change mood and attitude. And yes, I will remember that feeling!! Thought of it yesterday when faced with cake... no thank you.