KarenLR75

Haven't been doing well the past 5 weeks..no weight loss. Letting calories sneak in during the day. COVID is driving me nuts especially with a spouse home 24/7 eating carbs and many trigger foods that they used to not eat in front of me. Getting back to business as I still have so much to lose. Down 175 lbs from highest weight ever but lost 60 lbs of that in 3 years doing keto off and on before surgery. My 1 year 'anniversary' was yesterday (7/25) so from the date of surgery I lost 115 lbs. If I had stayed on track, that # could easily have been 10 lbs more but that is not something I can stay hung up on.

Only thing that I can say for myself with a VERY very resistant/challenged metabolism is that outside of weight loss absolutely slowing down as I approach a year ( was warned this would happen) is that my dr still has me on 800 calories a day. We do not move to 1000 calories until after a year has pass (am 1.2 months away from a 'year'). I also do not exercise enough so I am leery of increasing my calories until I 'fix' this. So many ppl outside of those of us 'living it'...think WLS is the easy answer. It definitely helps, but until I started hanging out here years ago, I did not realize the amount of work and constant diligence that is still required.

While I was much bigger at 390...I'm still rather LARGE+++ at 250 lbs (ok, scale said 253.2 today..sigh). It seems that most of the people I've followed when I've had time were already at their goal weight before finding dr's and talking procedures/options. I can see that this probably is required as it would be hard for a doctor to correctly advise/tell what I'm going to have leftover at 170 vs. 253.2. 170 is my first goal - obviously the 'charts' want me at 140-150..sigh. I guess the ONE thing that I can do is start saving money...a whole LOTTA money! I wish I could tell 'now' what procedures I'd want done and in what order. I KNOW I want my arms done - they have always been bad even when I was a 135 teenager and on the swim team for years. Getting up to 390 and I have arm flab the size of small cities. The 'girls' are deflated balloons that breastfeeding 2 kids..or attempting to...did nothing to help. Just had mammogram and it was 'clear' but it hurt like a you know what. My last one was done when I was 390 7 years ago. They are now so totally deflated it felt like the tech was trying to roll out pizza or bread dough with the machine. They don't class me as high risk yet as my Mom diagnosed with breast cancer in 60's. My maternal cousin, however, was diagnosed at 49..and hard partial breast removal. Honestly, I figure mine are going to turn on me some day and I'd like to beat them to it. Just wondering what I should simply leave alone until I'm down to 140-170....

Some of you may know that in the 11th hour, finally listening to my gut about my original surgeon and his anesthesia team, that I made a switch in doctors. After having gone so far down this road to where I was scheduled for surgery this coming Monday (7/1) with a doctor that had good reviews and a recommendation from someone I respect, I no longer trust myself as much as I did. Dr. Chad Carlton has great reviews as well and they go back for a much longer period of time which is 1 thing I like. However, I am so....well, to be honest I feel quite shaken up about the whole thing even though I feel I did the right thing. Does that even make sense?? While I found that I was relieved initially and my whole family is glad that I changed....my emotions are all over the board since last night. Maybe it's the change of 'I was going to have surgery on 7/1 and now the date is back up in the air..but I'm into week 2 of the liver shrink diet and I was to start bridging to Lovenox (blood thinner) today'...and I know Dr. Carlton was a bit taken aback at the amount I was prescribed. Oh, and switching from sleeve to bypass. Original Dr felt I was too high a risk to do bypass due to clotting history & said we'd do a bypass instead 1-2 yrs down the road (however with Cigna, you only get 1 type of operation for entire LIFE)...original dr said to 'save my pennies'. Dr. Carlton said while yes, my clotting history is a risk (I have a permanent filter) but I come with no other co-morbidities like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. that also introduce 'risk'. He said he has done over 6,000 procedures and does mostly revisions to bypass or straight up bypass (he also is 1 of the few in area that has a lot of experience with gastric bypass with duodenal switch?). I have 150-175 lbs to lose and he said that he did have some sleeve patients that were super diligent and were able to lose that kind of weight with just a sleeve...but I know that for many with this much to lose, a bypass is..what...still the "gold std"?? If anyone has any experience with this doctor, could you please let me know. While his reviews are really good, so were the reviews on my other doctor. I don't want to leave ANYTHING to chance. I'm at that point where it's "trust, but verify".

Yep, took it before and still continue to. Both my dr and my surgeon discussed. Haven't noticed any negative changes.

@Brent701 - you just nailed something I've been trying to identify as 'off' with me the past 2 weeks...I know one huge area if physical activity and previously I was actually getting kind of a 'healthy high' as I'd like on beginner trails. Don't know if it is the tons of extra hours I"m working...but I feeling the dread stirrings of complacency..and I'm too far away to have this settle in. I'm been so happy running around with new clothes that I think i'm starting to lose my focus on the prize...I simply cannot give into to patterns of behavior which will, for me, deter me from my goal in the end.

Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to clarify, my experience is with FSA, not sure what the differences are if you have an HSA (health savings account).

Yep, they should be able to process that payment like lightning. Just like regular debit. Only thing I've encountered is occasionally having the company that is the 'owner' of my flex card, they must get audited like crazy because like twice a year despite the charge being OBVIOUSLY from a doctor like 'cardiologist', they will send me a letter, I simply grab a copy of my EOB for whatever 'charge' they are asking about and send it to them. Ironically they did not audit my large hospital/surgery charge...lol...the audited a $100 or less visit to my cardiologist..lol..I'm beginning to think it is some sort of random audit. Again, I have NEVER had any issue even when the card issuer has sent me a request for information on having my 'charges' denied because I stick to known medical costs that qualify for using the FSA card and surgery/hospitals, etc are definitely legit expenses that are covered under FSA (examples of ones that are not - buy sudafed or cough medicine at the drug store...those are NOT 'FSA' eligible but my true prescriptions ARE legitimately covered under FSA).

Beautiful in both pics, but BOTH are pics of a stunning woman! You have a gorgeously shaped face which will continue to look stunning even if your face gets a bit smaller. I'd legit consider hurting someone to get your cheekbones! LOL

I used my FSA (flex spending account) card to pay the hospital and the doctor for my portion. It's a legit expense.

I understand the temptation and actually feeling that way..let's see you are 16 days out from surgery, is that correct? I was...a bit stunned during my first month that barely anything happened (my DEFINITE interpretation at the time and the first 2 weeks weight loss was from all I had been given to understand and yes..comparing myself against others....was so so little. I called my surgeon's office and talked to him and the nutritionist. They told me repeatedly something I had not seen here before (not that it might not have been said many times by others) but they told me DESPITE what I have found on many forums, they have done this for well more than a decade and that directly post-op, whether you were on IV fluids for 1 day, 2 days or more..or even NONE, that MANY people do not start hitting their body's full potential for weight loss until after they have HEALED which would be 6 weeks for RNY - unsure what it is for sleeve..maybe the same. I, however, felt after haunting WLS forums for 3 years PRIOR to surgery, that while I knew my doctor was very good, they simply HAD TO BE WRONG....I mean...I read how many hundreds of post of all of these people losing at LEAST 10 lbs a month. I thought I was 'oh so careful' to only compare my weight loss against other women...around the same age...and who had additional metabolic challenges (whether it be from medications, illnesses, PCOS, thyroid, etc.).....so I thought sensibly...I'm not comparing myself against a 'young man' or even a young woman. I finally quit looking at some of the posts, I sought out my surgery siblings more..the ones who had a slightly slower weight loss...I read some of the threads from the vets and basically white-knuckled my way thru month 1, month 2. Flash forward to now...6 months out as of 3 days ago and I started posting on this thread. In working with some of the vets when I posted here, we have looked at my total weight loss since surgery and then averaged it out and my monthly weight loss at SIX MONTHS is 12.6 lbs a month! If you had told me in Months 1 or 2...like my poor doctor tried to tell me...that things would WORK THEMSELVES out if I just stuck to it, I'd be leery...and that indeed was what I was told. Ironically in week 8, 2 weeks after 'you are healed by now' date, my weight loss kicked up higher. Some of my fellow siblings or ppl who had surgery in the late summer, early fall...the ones who lost a lot in month 1, oh how i remember that month, are starting to slow down a bit (nothing to be worried about)...some are now hitting 10 lbs a month consistently (and hey, I literally AM losing roughly 12 lbs a month and that is NOT with just averaging). Please hang in there...be kind to yourself and your body...it is literally still healing. The surgery is a big one and your body has been shaken up. You are a rockstar with the working out! I truly admire that. If you hang in there, the weight will come off and it won't remain in single digits. If it helps, even though you are on liquids, post what you are drinking, overall calories, etc. but again, the first month after surgery is really really rough on your body even if you feel 'ok'. My calories for the first month were 450 or less..some days 100, some days 200-250. Your body has to settle itself out so some of us do not see that gigantic loss in the first month and we think it is for nothing. It WILL COME OFF. With your level of exercise, and knowing what month 1 is like...I promise it WILL COME OFF if you are working your plan.

Have you talked to your nutritionist/surgeon? Also, I think 50 lbs is AMAZING but I definitely 'get' it when you feel like you should have lost more. In working with the vets on here, they helped me figure out where my weight loss was really falling. If you post information like what your eating plan (i.e. calories, macros like how many grams of carbs, protein, fat, etc. your dr/nutritionist has given you as a goal) and what you are doing for exercise/activity, you will likely get some input..and if you are having issues sticking to the plan/or anything else you feel may or may not be contributing (in a good way or a bad way) to where you are at right now. Again, 50 lbs is a nice number..but to give more input it would be helpful to have a bit more info, but I also understand if you were just needing to vent.

I do love it...and YAY for no traffic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had exact same thought...ended up quickly feeling...hard to put into words.. but like I somehow was 'familiar' with everyone...not the 'new' feeling I usually get...maybe it is the shared journey that made it feel comfortable?

True, true! I don't know how it is in the UK, Canada, or Australia but also trying to get in even for non-severe mental/emotional issues is....CRAZY. I remember primary referring family member to get a little more help with SITUATIONAL depression..although it was a severe case..and they were told left and right...6 months minimum..um...excuse me? I will say we have come a long way with like coverage and access (as well as free for those who need it) to things like mammograms..now if they could just do that with all the other things we need access to more quickly. My pet peeve, especially with specialists is seeing that my plan only has like..let's say 10 docs in my area that cover that specialty...but 99% are no longer taking new patients...um...so there is only 1? And dang if it is not going to be the one furthest away or the one with the worst reviews..lol. Sometimes healthcare..and we all know it from insurance hoops to get surgery if not self-pay..is like trying to plan a military campaign.. You last sentence made me laugh though...the irony of it

There are sometimes way for ppl who don't have insurance through work or the "Marketplace" to get insurance...but yes, we have some who encounter high bills. Some of my friends in the UK, where they are covered by national medicine..and friends in Canada have pointed out though that in the US we often have quicker access depending on what your situation is. I have a tendency to throw blood clots and I have read in horror as friends in the UK fight to get appts faster..and some of the things they have to go through to get specialists, meds, etc....I'm hoping they have been rare exceptions. We also have ppl who can afford it...come to the US for quicker access from Canada AND the UK...sigh...wish there could be a balance between affordability AND availability for everyone.

Was hoping it was confusion CUZ I LOVE your name! Very upbeat ....plus my bday is in Nov...your surgery is in Nov..November ppl rock!

Oh my gosh in 2 days I can LEGIT post to this thread (um....you don't see me right now....just pre-announcing my upcoming membership...LOL). Will be 6 months on 1/25/20!! Think I'll be moving over from another thread...I wish more of the folks on there were further out so I could invite them along..but I think many are 3 months and less. Will go back and see..

NON SCALE VICTORY (NSV) - these PJ bottoms may be the death of me since as my "width" has gone down...the um...er..crotch of the pants is somewhere near my mid thigh area - thus the pooling of the bottom of the pants on my floor...but I still LUVS them! I don't have any puppies right now (just 3 kitties)...but who wouldn't think these little scottie doggies are the cutest?! LOL @FluffyChix - seems we both like red PJ bottoms

I think you may be reading her reply out of context...she was NOT calling someone a snowflake...a few..like 1 or 2 ppl were inferring that some on THIS thread were not looking at reality and maybe were wanting excuses or we wanted to be 'pandered to (my interpretation and mine alone)...she was saying we were not ASKING to be treated like we needed some sort of special care... Don't know why so many ppl want to take this thread and continue to issue vague insults such as putting support thread in quotes - my apologies directly if that was not your intent though! I also apologize for this frustrated reply when you may just be simply confused about what her post was in response to.... Anyone who does not agree or believe in this thread & the TRUE support& encouragement, tips, advice, etc.. that we are seeking as a group...as ppl who feel correctly or incorrectly that they may be facing some additional challenges...then please take the high road and go elsewhere but let's not let the good stuff that can be helpful to all be overwhelmed by a few ppl's negativity. Those of us who are looking for the support are open to discussion on what challenges may or may not be in our control We are looking for those who may have had similar challenges and how did they deal with it. We are open to even discussing what roles mental and emotional roadblocks/challenges may play. We never asked for ppl to 'baby' us. The ONLY strong protest that I'm aware of is when this post denigrated down into insults and name calling. The 'snowflake' was a 'callback' to what ppl on this thread were already called by someone else. She was REFERENCING that..not STARTING it. I may have very lightly alluded to it a few posts earlier, but the REASON I'd like to see this thread ABANDONED SOME DAY is BECAUSE PPL GET THE HELP THEY NEED HERE or in other places with a great deal of wise veteran support like FluffyChix's "Doing the Headwork" threads and the help that she offered earlier today or with their family/local support/surgeon/nutritionist/doctors, etc. With HELP and TOOLS and PEOPLE'S INPUT via all of these wonderful ways, I'd LOVE to see this thread abandoned because the ppl who were looking for support - GOT THE SUPPORT and we all were continuing on our successful journeys! I wish that for EVERYONE who has ever posted here whether we have all been in agreement or not, whether we have been upset with each other, whether we have been hurt/wounded...whether someone has decided to block/ignore someone...I would NEVER ever wish anyone less success than i want for myself! BEST WISHES to EVERYONE on this FORUM!!!!!

I'm in! Thanks for the info Fluffychix & Sheribear68! I need all the help I can get to make the MOST of this journey as possible! In recent discussions with Fluffy and others, we did the math and my average amount of weight lost per month SINCE surgery is actual a bit over 12 pounds per month and that would actually have been higher if my exercise hadn't taken a nosedive in the past..well, I was thinking it was a week, but it's been more like 10 days. My INITIAL Months 1-3 weight loss was...when I compared to my siblings was not as large as theirs was so yeah...it bothered me. I tried to be careful (and yeah, we probably shouldn't compare but I did) and only compare with others IF they were in a similar situation to me. i.e. for me that was: female, 50+, menopausal, sedentary, known slow metabolism DUE to hormones, lack of exercise, medications, illness/conditions, 20+ years of yo-yo dieting and/or anything else that contributed to the slowness - some things WITHIN my control, some things NOT. On some days when I was doing better mentally, I figured well, I may be starting out slower but my rate per month may be more sustainable than theirs after the first few mos. I need to get back on my surgery sibling thread but I ALREADY know now that in looking at my weight loss data over a MORE SUFFICIENT amount of time to evaluate a truer picture of 'weight loss per mo), I'm at least an AVERAGE loser and if I deal with some recent bad habits that crept back in suddenly, I feel that with not a ton of effort I can hit a 'AVERAGE-HIGH' amt of weight loss per mo. I wanted to post as some of you know I'm very data driven. The first 2 - 3 mos of surgery, including that critical 1st mo where some of us wonder based on SO VERY VERY little calories, why weight loss wasn't higher..it's kinda of like when we were kids...I always used to say when asked..."I'm 5 and 1/2 years old"...because I was PROUD of that '1/2'...and the age I'm at now, man, I round DOWN!!! When we are little though...at young ages, our time on this earth is so SMALL at that point, that our experiences for the first let's just say..5 yrs...is obviously the BULK of our entire little life at that point. Flash forward to today and being..cough..like around 50...and ages 0-5 is nothing but a BLINK. Statistically barely factors. I realize now that while yes...my first 2 mos especially I found to be a bit disappointing at the time, in hindsight, just 4 more months out, the math is showing that DESPITE my true challenges and even for me, some emotional/mental ones, I am at least an AVERAGE loser. I'm posting this hoping to give those who are only a couple of months out and may be fighting with disappointment...some hope and another way to consider things..and to stay on track and let the time pass...then look back at what has happened. My wish for all of us is we become part of..someday...a "We WERE slow losers but look at us now" type of thread..lol. I realize that there are ppl with much more severe issues than what I'm dealing with so in no way do I mean to do your situation any disservice. Oh...and along with realizing I'm at least 'average'...I had a small NSV on my way to taking my laptop back into my office...my PJ bottoms (yeah, I work from home) fell down and I almost fell over my own feet..LOL. I LOVE these PJ botttoms so much I'm seriously considering taking them to a tailor!!

I am so incredibly sorry. I cannot even imagine. Just reading your words.....a tragedy and heartbreak beyond anything most can think of...

sigh.."we are"...not "were are"