KarenLR75

@TattooedSeaStar - Yes! The roller coaster is exactly the right comparison. I agree with people who say he doesn't have to 'get it'....it's the flip flopping back and forth...that is driving me nuts. He is not REQUIRED to learn or get it; however if he did learn MORE, it would help reduce..or maybe it wouldn't..lol, but I like to think it would help reduce his flip flopping.... OR, maybe it would make his flip flopping worse. Just as 5 yrs ago I could not even consider the thought of WLS as my only remaining acceptable option, it took me going on this long journey to realize that I did indeed, need this tool. Wow...so you have an even harder situation, someone who lost a GREAT DEAL of weight "on their own"...yikes! I think that neither of our husbands will feel completely comfortable as they are in a diff head space than we are. It is good to know that he will be supportive after surgery and that may be what we'll have to stay focused on. That is the critical thing.

@DianaP - thinking of you today!! I'm so excited for you!!

@Frustr8 - you always say such nice, encouraging things. You are one of my favorite ppl on here!!

Awww...my "once surgery same day sibling"....I understand. Kind of wistful sitting here since surgery was to be tomorrow but figure that I'd be having mixed feelings if it was still happening. You got this!! Will be looking forward to your first post-op post!!

Thank you so much Briswife!! I can definitely understand about desire for the dumping to help ensure compliance, esp with sweet tooth. I watched one woman's youtube videos..she's from TN? And dumping was actually a huge 'PRO' for her with bypass surgery. Hope your journey is going well in all other aspects too!! I definitely understand about changing tastes and your mental status..it is actually quite a relief in many ways, isn't it?

This is another thing - doing keto off and on for years, I've gotten to the point that if I did take a small bite of...a piece of cake..or eat anything that was highly processed or very rich like creamy Italian dishes, it upsets my 'stomach greatly' and I usually spend quite a bit of time in the bathroom. I like sweets, but I just don't allow myself to indulge in them. I've lost any taste for greasy fast food, I just shudder at the thought. I did 'Opti Fast' back in the Oprah winfrey days and lost 70 lbs and kept if off for a decade. That is one reason the pre-op diet really doesn't bother me that much, there is so much more variety to 'drink' than the 4 to 5 times a day 'shakes' that I drank every single day for almost 4 months. I realize I did not share with my dr that I have very very mild IBS. Stress and any 'break' from my keto WOL is what brings it out. Not sure that it will matter but I will mention it. I agree with you, surgery is not the "easy way" out. To me it's a nuclear detonation option...That is why I waited almost 5 years before allowing myself to finally pursue surgery. I had to make sure that I was fully committed to doing the very hard work that remains in front of me. Surgery is a tool, only a tool.

Exactly...but that is also specifically why after doing some more information, is I want to address any remaining questions and also give him any new information about myself that helps him ensure his initial recommendation is still what he feels is best. I also am of a 'trust, but verify' mindset with doctors..all of them, especially specialists.

One thing I do know is that 2 of my Aunts had this bpyass surgery in PA back in the day when it was "new"..or at least "new to me"....I'd say early 90's? I can ask. One Aunt to this day has kept her weight off and I was going to call (so has other Aunt but she had a 'surgery re-do' at some point..and ask her how it has impacted both of them long term. They are now in their 70's and every time I have been up there - the whole family is very 'food social' and one Aunt bakes and cooks her hiney off...but she doesn't eat much. So I at least know 2 ppl who had it back in the day when you were cut completely open and docs did not have decades upon decades of experience on long term data.

Well, up until noon today, I was scheduled to get a VSG on 7/1 (this coming Monday). Now that I finally listened to my gut instincts telling me I am not confident in my choice of surgeon and am DEFINITELY not comfortable in the anesthesia group he contracts with (they have very poor reviews), I met with another highly recommended dr late today. He said he does not consider me a poor risk for a bypass with a duodenal switch. He stayed after office hrs to meet with me. We are going to talk tomorrow after I've had time to digest the fact that times/dates/etc. may all be changing and try to make the final decisions that will be best for my positive outcome. That being said, my husband has been asking what care/support would I require after I get home from the hospital. This has stumped me as after major hospitalizations even though I've had ppl around a day or 2, I'm used to being the caregiver (ALWAYS) and am used to caring for self. I haven't paid attention nor has my 'old dr' ever said much about post-op except don't lift more than 20 lbs and the post-op diet. I also haven't asked so I don't fault either doctor for that (for the record, my first doctor has good reviews too, it is not about him personally, not the main reasons why I'm changing). I have supplies laid in and probably like most ppl have said, within 1 to 2 weeks, I'll be sick of most of them. Do I truly "need" someone physically present to help me with things? Or maybe I should ask, what would you have liked to have someone help you with in the first few days after being discharged from the hospital (whether errands, being in the house, med runs, um..I would say making food...but yeah...um..bringing me my 'liquid of choice'...lol).? Guess I need to now look up info bypass with duodenal switch. I've been thrown quite a curve here as I've focused mostly on 'sleeve' for the past several months. The only though that comes to mind is silly....but it's "I'm going to lose my hair for sure, aren't I?"

I'm remember that you were one of the first people I became aware of that was going to also have surgery on July 1st. I miss not being on the same day as my surgery siblings! I will be cheering all of you on though..along with all of our "month of July" siblings.

Many, many wise things in what you have shared. It's taken me 5 years to come to this decision. Previously I was not ready so I just read, studied, watched, learned. I feel despite how confident one is in their decision, hopefully after much soul searching, headwork, prep, etc. that 'theory' vs 'reality' is where the "rubber meets the road". I noticed you had bypass surgery...i've spent countless hrs trying to cram info into my head about pros and cons of sleeve vs. bypass....I'm just curious..did you ever consider one over the other (and I know that no matter how many ppl are happy with whatever option they've chosen, it doesn't necessarily mean I will be...)?

Oh my gosh...I SO needed that laugh...thanks for capturing the original post 🤣.... @hmwilcox578 - I'm so glad your stupid phone acted up. I've been grinning from ear to ear for so long my husband is looking at me oddly. Thank you both!! 😍 I could feel the stress and tension of my situation just flowing out of me. I gotta get my positive attitude back!!

I agree and that is why I stayed with him so long..up until 7 days prior to surgery...but him giving me my coumadin to lovenox bridging instructions on a sticky note was the final straw on that part. No doctor, no matter how great, should never give a patient such critical (possibly life in the balance critical) instructions on a sticky note. My whole family was in an uproar as they have watched me in the hospital fighting for my life on multiple occasions due to clots. I also found out he did NOT consult with my cardiologist on what the bridging plan should be. I found this out after I changed..and was horrified. My cardiologist knows my clotting history, my health history, and ultimately manages my coumadin. In addition - I found out the anesthesia team that he contracts with has really bad reviews. i think the anesthesiologist can be as important if not sometimes more important the the doctor..does that make sense? Another thing is that as someone else said, at the end of the day when the office strikes out on so many areas, there is also the consideration that a doctor who the 'little stuff does represent'...if the small details cannot be managed, do you keep extending your trust to the big things..like surgery. Trust me, it was not an easy decision and the fact that he is ultimately responsible for his own office..and they are not turning my records over, shows me that there are many more issues than just his staff (he is the boss, he is responsible).

For CIGNA, it is a 1 bariatric surgery in a lifetime thing. They will never pay for a revision, period. My BMI when i met with 1st dr was 56 (down from over 60 when I started doing keto 15+ months ago). 1st Dr actually said he would do a bypass as well due to my very high BMI and the need to get weight off faster (both knees have severe arthritis and I have to get injections to be able to walk and that is even lately...even with 52.3 lbs lost..getting progressively more painful). Knee orthos (got 2nd opinion) have said both knees are so bad they require full replacement and as soon as my BMI is under 40, they will consider doing the operation. 1st dr though, felt uncomfortable with my clotting history so he said he would only do sleeve at this time and to save up my money (which I don't have) to pay for my own revision to bypass with duodenal switch in a yr or 2. I still have mixed feelings about the 2 different surgeries..things I like and don't like about the both. Do you think I should still reconsider? I'm asking this as I'm wanting to make the best decision..not just what either dr's have said...and I'm torn although both said I needed the bypass originally.

I haven't had surgery yet like you and the others have and since they've gone down this path I'm sure they are correct..the only thing that came to mind when I read your post since I didn't have much contribute as I'm waiting on a new July surgery date...is that if you ever get extremely concerned, I've made the mistake of not reaching out to my specialist (you mentioned your GP) and asking. In my situation I had gotten PE's in my lungs in 2011 - massive amount of clots. One of the things that you find out after an event like this is you can get pain that almost identically mimics the pain felt with a heavy clot burden and after going to ER once and finding out no new PE's, I hesitated ever to go again..and on a forum I joined they said ALWAYS better to be safe and embarrassed and alive. I know you aren't talking the same level of possible threat to your life/health, but it's just something I keep in mind when I get really concerned, that it is ok to call a specialist and just ask. THANKFULLY, ppl on this board are familiar with the myriad of "things" that you can feel post surgery and can help winnow out better than I can, when it is time to go ahead and call.

So glad it is over...sorry to hear about very rough 72 hours! I never even thought of taking Gas-ex, what a great idea..my surgery is postponed a bit and even if I had had it, I hadn't run across this idea before! I hear you about the heat, I'm in TX..so I feel ya! Sounds like you are a trooper though to come thru all of that and you are still pointing out positives. I love your attitude. Was thinking about you the other day. Best wishes on your continued recovery - keep us posted!!

Very, very small. He broke off with his partner in Arlington (who has good reviews - Dr. Lyons) and according to 1 review about 'old practice in Arlington) - basically docs were both good but the office staff was decidedly NOT. He responded to that review that this was, in part, why he decided to go into private practice & is opening up his own office in North TX - closer to my end of town. Ironically, I feel he took at least 1 of the problem ppl with him! Right now he is sharing office space with an OB/GYN until his office gets built out. So he only has an "office manager" (a very young woman who lacks experience to be office mgr from everything I've seen) & the med tech who has given me so much heartache & stress. So he has to be well aware of fact that I have left. His office mgr finally called me...guess that is only reason I got to talk to her on phone..the med tech couldn't block me, but as I said she is young and she just sounded confused about my reasons. She also tried to defend their 'blocking me on calling Cigna' as she said she had called Cigna too & they told her same thing as med tech told me. I've already looked into their old policy (CIGNA) - the 1 effective before the 1 I have & their interpretation of that, assuming CIGNA is somehow kept quoting a policy no longer in effect - still does not = what they were telling me. She is WAY out of her element. The med tech is...the...well, if I were talking about a pack hierarchy, she is the alpha dominant..not the office mgr. After I told Office Mgr how awful the med tech had been to me, she never apologized...never said that should not happen..basically nothing. Who know what they told the Dr....oh she did say the dr always writes notes like that for patients on sticky notes that is "just what he does". She did ADMIT on phone that they had received the request for my records.. Really wish this staff wasn't the way they are as I still like the Dr in most ways and would like to see him take in some constructive input so that other patients don't undergo the same thing and maybe he revisits sticky idea. I don't wish failure/lack of success on anyone. I fear whatever they told him was likely filtered to not reflect everything I said.. Absolutely agree on your recommendation about medical paperwork. Even if you have best dr and best office staff in the world - always best to keep/get a copy of everything!

30 days?! They could take up to 30 days??!! If they do that I may have to postpone surgery for 9 months!! OMG, I want to throw up. No, I was planning after surgery and the initial post-op visit to not ever go back again. This is so completely unprofessional. So how do I figure out if the DR is encouraging it or if it is that spiteful employee? IF they take 30 days, I will be sure that everyone/everywhere I can let ppl know...will know about what they have to be willing to put up with if they choose his practice. I wasn't planning on leaving any negative reviews, I just saw this as best choice for me given all of the loads of concerns I have/had...and was tired of a med tech treating me like I was a piece of crud. Heck, forget the title, tired of anyone treating me or anyone else this way. I could go 'hand collect' all of the freaking stuff I had submitted to his office. Lord knows it's not like they handled the letter to Cigna (my primary did that). I had my own psychiatrist and she filled out info and did a letter. My cardiologist will send my cardiac clearance and results of my tests to wherever it is needed. I did use a 'group practice' called Tri-S in downtown Ft. Worth for my nutritionist visit and attended a 3 hr clinic they did in early June. Since they provide this support for several bariatric docs in the area, I can call and ask for the records of my visit (what I don't understand is that CIGNA has ALL of this as these were their requirements - I guess I can't ask CIGNA to send copies to me/pay for copies?). So...in the end, what could he possibly have that I cannot...at some GREAT inconvenience and time infringing on my work life...get myself and have it sent to new dr? Trust me, I've made it EASY for both docs.

This!! This is what I worry about with doctor..initially I was a 'prospect' so lots of attentions and allusions to things being doable..but now I'm a 'customer'..no need to "court" me. It is wrong. Not sure how many ppl in your area but maybe another practice would appreciate you more. Doctors forget that having 'success stories' and ppl willing to reference, maybe even drop into a meeting of newbies....ya know?

Am glad to hear this for you. I'm walking away from the dr I was going to go with as I became very uncomfortable with several things (there is a post on this). The other dr practice is now not getting any response to the request that was made to get my records days ago. Unfortunately, this is the type of behavior his office staff, one specific person pulls. Even when it was stuff THEY were to submit for me, they'd forget...they (one person) argued with me and CIGNA for TWO months - finally CIGNA and I were BOTH fed up, they called while I was at an appt with original surgeon and I took the policy in and had him look at the KEY PHRASE "has patient WITHIN the last 6 months...done xyz". Nowhere in it did Cigna's bariatric surgery policy say "patient must meet with a nutritionist every month for SIX consecutive months and if they miss one, they must start over". LITERALLY, this is what the med tech/insurance checker told me. She and I went around and around. The initial 3 to 5 times I tried talking to her, I was alway polite and professional. Guess what, she bulldozed over me in every conversation. Finally told me with great exasperation that I needed to quit calling Cigna as I was getting things confused!!! I finally played hard ball and was ready to walk away if the DOCTOR did not force them to push the paperwork through. Like "magic", they put the paperwork through..a few days later of course. It got immediate approval. When I went to my next appt, the med tech was so rude and hateful to me, I couldn't wait to get out of there. I stupidly didn't say anything to surgeon as she has worked for him for yrs and with my luck, she was a relative, niece, daughter in law. I had PLANNED to have a frank discussion with him AFTER surgery on 7/1. Well, since then they dropped the ball on a few more things, I found out the name of the anesthesia partner's name that my dr. uses and looked at their reviews...they were NOT GOOD! Frustr8 will tell you, my gut had been telling me I need to walk away...so with what..7 days left until surgery, I met with another dr. I liked him very much but most importantly, he made more sense, he has more surgeries (by the 1000's under his belt) his anesthesia partner checks out with good reviews, his office staff was NICE! VERY NICE! My original dr's staff has left me in tears over the phone (didn't let her know) at least 2 times. My dr. wrote my coumadin to lovenox bridging instructions on a sticky note and gave it to me. I took it up front and gave to his staff expecting them to type something up..nope, they handed it back. It was my husband who actually pointed out how crazy that was. I have thrown clots (PE's) after surgery just LAST year from inaccurate amounts of Lovenox for the bridging (bridging means getting off a major blood thinner like Coumadin and on to something like Lovenox which presents less chance for huge bleeding risks during surgery. So it is critical for my life and health to have those instructions documented on a dr's office papers...by him. All I had was this sticky. Now though, things are feeling even worse. My original dr's office is not responding at all to the request to transfer my records. I fear, like they have before, that they are going to fight me all the way. I've already looked up that I will have to send a certified letter..and they have FIFTEEN days to comply. OMG, I cannot believe it has come to this. I warned the new dr that I was so afraid about what they would do and he was like "no, we'll get the paperwork". Well, his main surgery coordinator just emailed me asking me to try to intervene!! It's FRIDAY NIGHT! This is so wrong...but after trying for 15-18 months to do everything right....I feel like I should have just let the original dr. operate. I'm so completely freaked out now..

Hey Mom_of_Chaos, had a last minute dr. change so my surgery will not take place on 7/1 (bums me out cuz I had so many surgery siblings!)...I will be in July but won't have a date for another day or 2.

I don't have much time as I'm in a time crunch at work, but thank you for saying this...sometimes when ppl post...especially when new and having a surgery date looming, it is not that in the back of my mind I cannot accept the answer in the end. I'm anxious, excited, fearful, relieved....and so many other opposing emotions all at the same time. These past 15 months doing keto and for a long long period in keto towards the last 6 months, getting to a point where even thinking about food became..more of a chore. Food was just...food. Honestly, I crossed the line into it being almost an inconvenience which I will have to be careful of because unlike keto when I could eat a whole chicken breast (maybe divided over 2 meals) and drink a shake and have well in excess of 80 gms of protein, this won't be ANYWHERE near as easy to do. I didn't express myself well in my post and only let my fear show through. I didn't feel like I was only searching for the negative, but I'm open to the fact that perhaps that is what I was doing. I did not elucidate the fact that I did expect some hunger pains, I just had been trying to soak up more knowledge and was on a thread where the 'true hunger pains/pangs' where...what I would call extreme in the amount of hunger (like basically never had any relief from hunger pangs ever, not even when they have consumed their protein). Maybe something else is going on for them..or maybe I misunderstood. I was just honestly...taken aback. However, that doesn't mean I stay fearful or allow myself to be trapped by the negatives. If that was true, then I wouldn't be on this board still and I wouldn't be pursuing surgery. Thank you to everyone for your input. It gave me time for additional self reflection and to process my concerns.

You are SO right on both counts!!

I haven't said much about this unless you aw my posts on struggle with my dr's office staff in trying to get them to push paperwork through to Cigna. It was such an awful experience and it wasn't the insurance company! I had talked to Cigna 15 months ago about their requirements then before I ever found a surgeon. When I asked for recommendations on here and in personal life, several docs recommended but out of 2 recommended, I knew 1 took Cigna and he had good reviews. I didn't call the other doc as he was in Frisco (30 min drive) and doc I chose was 10 mins away. My knee is messed up & driving aggravates it. He is sharing digs with another doc (OB/GYN) as his private new office ais being built. His 1 med tech/office person (he also has office mgr) is one of the most difficult people I have EVER encountered at a dr's office and that is saying A LOT! Especially since I helped care for both parents and have a kid that had an immune system issue growing up. I've had her be hateful to me, be rude, dismissive. The doc; however, was so nice that I've shrugged off med tech's behavior as I have no idea if maybe she is maybe related and was afraid of losing him if I said something. I felt dr & I were a good match though. I had planned to talk to him after surgery about how rough it was to deal with his tech. Flash forward to this week & she called to tell me to come to hospital at a diff time for my Mon. surgery to check in (origcheck in time was 12:30, new check in time is 1:30. I was a bit surprised and as I'm curious..I blurted "what happened?".then said, "sorry, never mind...so when will actual operation take place as I have some people planning to come". Well, I obviously had 'exceeded my question quota' as she sighed & quickly said "2:30" (orig surgery time was 2). Then she basically ended call. Now call me crazy, but changing hospital check in time to be an hr later and NOT changing surgery time seemed odd, but ok. Oh, she did say that "the hospital changed things around". Well, since I got to know a nice lady at the hospital when I called to schedule my appt for surgery and found out she didn't even have my orders/show I was on list for surgery - this was a WEEK after my dr. had told me my surgery date and grouchy tech said to be sure to call hospital ASAP if I didn't hear in a day. When they told me they had no info about my surgery, I sighed as this has been story of my life anytime this person is involved. I've had to deal with her icy attitude anytime I'm in the office as I ended up pushing the 'put things through to insurance' with the doctor as she absolutely REFUSED to and said that I needed to quit calling my insurance as I was getting them confused. CIGNA themselves was frustrated with her& called the Office Mgr to ASSURE them they were ready to APPROVE me. I took a copy of the policy and showed him wording that she kept misinterpreting (did not point it out, told him Cigna was waiting..and asked what his 'take' on "within the past 6 months" meant. He agreed easily that I had indeed met all requirements based on wording of policy and he'd have them push papers through. Next visit, she would not make eye contact. Her face was in a scowl and she only spoke the bare minimum. I've kept telling myself - the only person I care about is the doctor and I like him, he gets my 'clotting issues'...and he understood immediately that my info on CIGNA was correct. AFTER all this, when I call hospital back about surgery/check in time change, the nice lady there said "you are not scheduled for 2:30 (sad thing is I knew med tech lied), the doc made some changes and you are now on list for 3:30. That is all I wanted to know, what time the SURGERY is. And no, the hospital changed nothing. The changes came from dr's office. Why be dishonest about that? Makes no sense. So all this "history" is simmering in the back of my head/heart obviously & past few days all I can think of (well, I do think of good things too, but this is the 'really getting to me stuff')..is how awful and hard she has made the process. Who knew an office staff person could be more difficult than insurance? Cigna was a dream! Now to top it off, my husband is unhappy that my coumadin to lovenox bridging plan was given to me by dr on a sticky note. Maybe he intended office staff to type it up (I showed it to them though & they just handed back), but when I pulled it out yesterday, my husband expressed BIG concerns that something that is so critical to my health (my last, MINOR surgery - I ended up throwing more clots even with a filter in because lovenox bridging was dosed wrong).. Hubby uncomfortable that info just on a 'sticky note'. No dr signature, no official paperwork, etc. When I was at hospital for pre-op...all I kept hearing was about the"some dr" up in Frisco..in glowing terms - they weren't talking to me, the hospital staff was talking to ea other. I said at one point "he must be a really good dr" and the woman said "he is incredible". NOTE: All docs @ this hospital are either contractors or part owners if they wish. Both my current dr & the one ppl were talking about are both contractors so there was no 'reason' for them to 'wax poetic' about the other dr. My dr is new to this part of DFW area. All of this to say....I'm so torn - turns out this other dr is the one I decided not to see as he was in Frisco. I've been willing to put up with abusive/rude behavior from my drs staff that I like as I don't want to 'upset apple cart'. I've ignored my misgivings &husband's misgivings about getting my critical coumadin and Lovenox schedule handed to me on a sticky. I still feel he is a really good dr. Now though, I have found out that this other dr has much more extensive reviews..and they are just as good if not better...and ppl rave about him and his staff. What is more, they are willing to meet with me and have a discussion (I called to ask if they had ever had anyone switch at last minute) to see what would be best for me and even likely my surgery date will not change. Do you think this is all part of jitters - I'm not SEEKING to postpone my surgery at all. Have I been ignoring what my gut has been trying to tell me all along? I KNOW my husband is not thrilled with the dr I've chosen. Am I nuts for taking another look at this???

Yes, it is supposed to be laparoscopic either way. That being said, original dr said much like what you said, that most ppl he would discharge the next day. He said due to my major clotting history, he would keep me an extra day at least. Not really sure why as I'll be bridged to lovenox....and this time 'adequately bridged based on my weight'. Will ask new dr what his usual process is. I figured I would sleep the day I came home or the next day because you are correct, anesthesia can do a whammy on you. Most of what I need in the first week or 2 does NOT need to be prepared. I work remotely and have for years so honestly, I just planned after a '1 day sleep in' that I'd just 'get back to work'. Now that I've said all that, I would LOVE to get out of litter box duty for a couple of weeks!