Mattymatt

@CalGuy64 It could be that you are now feeling physically stronger and healthier and just less apt to be bullied by people. When I was healthier, I gladly rose to the challenge when placed in a fight or flight circumstance. Now, I am less apt to do so because it will be trivial to whip my ass. I certainly can't run and I hurt all over from being overweight so one good punch in the right place and I'll be down.

@Todd_196 You're not alone! I am right there with you! In fact you took the words right out of my mouth. If you do one thing only, just one thing, move forward in any amount, no matter how small, that you can.

That is from your personal experience. If we look into the research that has been done on dating and physical attraction, it has been well-studied that overweight people have a harder time in the dating market. There will always be exceptions, but I am certainly not one of them. Losing weight only opens the door to the dating marketplace a little bit wider, it isn't the answer. I have problems with relationships because I tend to lean towards co-dependency and losing my ability to define myself externally to the relationship. I also suffer from Autism so I have a whole other set of challenges. Finally, I am at an age where, by society's rules, I should have an established career and some sort of "future." Whatever that really means. So I am not a prime catch. I am overweight, disabled, and was just let go from my job today for reasons that I cannot comprehend. I share this with @CalGuy64, not to gain any sort of sympathy, but to let him know that if I haven't given up with my set of challenges, nor should he. I will only quit when I am 6 feet under. For now, surgery comes March 12th and dating comes at goal weight.

I am sorry that your wife left you. That's never easy, man. Being at a healthy weight simply opens the door a little wider to dating but does not automatically make it easier. The two times in my life when I had lost weight and the door opened, I still had difficulty dating. Plenty of 1st date flops! Just don't quit. You have invested a lot in getting yourself healthy and you continued that investment despite the pain of breakup. That's huge and shows you've got some immense resolve. I've only had two relationships in my life and I am a pretty broken person as I am a high functioning autistic, but because of those two relationships I strongly believe that there are multiple people out there for everyone - I am walking proof of that.

Finally, after a long journey and lots of ups and downs, I will be going to have gastric bypass on March 12th. The pre-op OptiFast diet begins on February 26th. We thought I was going to be able to have the surgery in February and that will not happen but March 12th is only a blink in the eye of time. I began the entire affair in September of 2017. Between the doctors appointments and the fight to get my blood sugar, I am tired and elated that the time is almost here. A new beginning ....

Admittedly, I am not jumping for joy over the liquid diet phase but I understand that it is a medical necessity so I'll grin it and bare it. Speaking of surgery, @FluffyChix, yours is right around the corner in no time at all. How are you feeling?

Please stop binging! It's not going to help you at all. Perhaps you will consider a revision to a sleeve or bypass.

Today I had a small setback. I've been pushed back until March for my surgery. While disappointing, it's still not that long of a time. I was really hoping to get this done sooner than later but it is what it is.

Type 2 Diabetes, as I understand it, is insulin resistance. If it is caught and treated early enough, it can be reversed. Type 2 Diabetes is what brought me to the information session on bariatric surgery last September. I realized that I am not going to win the battle by remaining stuck in the cycle that I am in: I could get progressively worse. The doctors tell me that I will most likely not need my diabetes meds after surgery. I actually have a small glimmer of hope for a healthier life.

@orionburn Those are the thoughts that are going through my head right now. I am concerned about "mourning" the loss of being able to eat all those comfort foods. I was thinking about how I am going to deal with life's upsets without having those foods. A part of me almost said, "Screw it! Maybe it's just better to eat whatever I want and enjoy ... " I stopped there because I realized that I was doing just that but not enjoying life at all. The psychologists want me to have a game plan for dealing with this. I don't have a solid one now, just some vague ideas. Sometimes it's very hard to think clearly when you feel so physically bad that it effects your mental and emotional health. I am just barely stable enough physically and mentally to get through this. I am really going to have to lean on my support systems during this time.

I don't know what to call it but I had some of that same issue. When I lost weight the first time, I kind of felt bereft when the compliments went away because I was at goal weight. I sort of asked myself what the next big thing was and I picked something from my childhood that I always wanted to do but couldn't - backpacking. And by golly, I did it. Then the second time I lost weight, I realized that I could do distance bicycling and would ride 50-60 miles per week. I don't know what I am going to do this time around. My physical and emotional health is a lot worse now than it was on my last rodeo. I believe this will truly be a grind. I am just barely healthy enough to undergo surgery. At least I haven't had a heart attack or stroke.

I honestly think it depends on your set of circumstances. I am a T2 diabetic so every one of my healthcare providers strongly encouraged RNY because of the well-documented effect of curing the diabetes. This is what made the decision really easy - I want to have the surgery best suited to end the malady of diabetes. T2 is a misery that I just want gone. I was also concerned about GERD from the sleeve and I do not want to potentially have to do a revision surgery. Going through one of these is enough.

You've maintained your weight loss for quite sometime! That's something to celebrate!

Good on you for taking a positive action!

One way to go about it is to look at the major, respected hospital systems in your area and compare programs - attend an information session. This is what I did. I am in the Greater Philadelphia Area and the two most respected systems are Christiana Care and Penn Medicine. Of the two, I ended up going with Christiana Care because they had more rigorous work-up requirements. I needed 3 life skills classes, a psychological eval, an Upper GI and Abdominal study, a lung function test, and a cardiac stress test. I felt that I was in safer hands. The staff at Christiana Care have also been a pleasure to deal with. I also looked at after care, knowing this would be important as well. Since this is a life altering experience, you should have no doubts as to the competence of the surgeon whom you will be working with. If you have even an inkling of doubt, it's time to look elsewhere.

Wine is rather caloric. I am glad you found one potential cause but there could be more. Can you go to see a dietitian that specializes in post-op, bariatric surgery patients? Maybe they can help you get to the bottom of this.

As the millennial saying goes, you only live once. I think you need to tell your husband to get bent and go ahead with improving your life. I cannot countenance being with someone whom will be so unsupportive. It's time for you to live life for you.

Please call your surgeon. This is something important that should not wait.

Love this. They sure can get bent!

The pouch stretches. It sounds like the person you spoke to was non-compliant with the program. I am personally concerned that this could happen to me because I've been successful with traditional weight loss programs in the past only to veer off course and gain back the weight. In some ways this is my hail mary pass ... I have to be successful at this or I will die early or painfully.

@JohnnyCakes Keto is just another fad diet. There are so many fad diets and all have one common denominator: they all fail long term. I am determined to do one thing and that is track what I am eating for the rest of my life, like taking the vitamins. Hell, I even made index cards to remind me to eat slow, chew 20x, liquids 30 minutes after eating, etc.

I have a love/hate relationship with mine. I really do sleep better and I've noticed that my breathing during the day has also improved. I used to get burning in my lungs from exercising too hard. That seemed to go away. Now I just breath hard from being out of shape.

Vitamins for the rest of your life is a lot better than diabetes for the rest of your life. I'm diabetic and it sucks. I mean it sucks! To me there is no trade off.

Keep up the forward progress!

For the win!