I'm new to the forum, although I got banded in Mexico a year ago and had my first fill last week. Yes, one year to the day from banding to first fill, believe it or not!
I'm very proud to say that I have lost five pounds in the last seven days ... what a great start!
It's been an interesting last year, and I've decided that 2008 is the year of ME. No more losing myself taking care of everyone else and lots of learning how to be kind to myself. I see finally using my band (which had zero restriction until now) as the beginning of that particular healing process.
For the first time in my life, I don't feel like I'm starving and like I might have a little control over what goes into my mouth. Considering I like to have a firm grip on how things are done - heaven forbid I use the word control freak! - feeling helpless to stop eating has created more than a little emotional upheaval. The decision to find a local doctor for fills, no matter the cost, has given me back a lot of personal peace.
Oddly enough, only two other people know I'm banded. My mother is a dietician, and she put up such a fuss when I mentioned considering the surgery a couple of years ago that I don't feel like I can have the discussion with her. I really think my now ex-husband wanted me to be obese, and I literally snuck off to Mexico by myself claiming I was on a business trip in order to have the procedure; he asked once if I had gained weight because he could really see some of my stretch marks more than he used to ... those were my surgery scars, and I don't have stretch marks that bad, so he was working hard to remain oblivious to the world around him! <grin> The two friends who know aren't heavy, and I haven't really felt like I had someone to talk to about all this, so I'm excited to be on the forum!
That's probably more information than any of you wanted or needed, but it's nice to have it off my chest. I am thrilled beyond words with Dr. Joe Kirk in Owasso and my first fill, and had to make one of those wonderful little tickers I've seen while lurking around here.
I'm just glad you guys are all here, too.
