bariatricmomma

I WAS the parent who objected to surgery so I know how your parents feel (I am not a patient myself; I joined here after my son's surgery so I could learn things I didn't know without having to always bug him). My son was an adult at 25 so I didn't really have a say, and it was really hard as a parent to toe that line between worrying and letting him be in charge of this. The way I described my feelings back then was that it broke my heart that he was taking a drastic step that would affect the rest of his life. I didn't want to express any of my fears to him so I told him there were so many questions I had and I really didn't want to have to subject him to them so could I have his permission to talk to his surgeon and his therapist about my thoughts. He agreed and so I got to share all my fears with others and get reassurance. What were my fears? That he would die on the table (his docs went through the data and also reminded me of the. very real health risks that come with doing nothing). That he hadn't tried hard enough to do this without surgery ( they walked me back through all the things he had tried, for nearly ten years, and how for some people it becomes a near impossibility to do this without medical intervention). That he had not thought through the complications. (They assured me they had all talked about them in detail). That he was just plain too young. (As his doc said, better to do this at 25 than to wait 30 years and then wish you had done it at 25). That I had somehow failed him as a parent for allowing him to get to this point in the first place. (I still feel that way even though al his experts tell me not to) He is now about six months postopband it is the best thing he could ever have done. As his mother I feel like I have my son back. The one who I hadn't seen in years as he got sadder and lonelier and more defined by his weight. He is down by about 50 percent of his body weight. He goes out with friends and has a drink or two and enjoys his life And basically does everything he always did but with smaller portions, no constant hunger, far fewer fatty sugary foods (he just doesn't want them) and wearing a far smaller size. I don't know if any of this helps, but maybe it would help to have your parents do what I did and talk to someone who knows your journey and who knows the medical literature, but who isn't you?