Apple203

Last night I made a recipe with a high grade szechuan peppercorn shells.  I read about the numbing properties, thought I'd be OK, but WOW, holy mackerel!!  I thought I was gonna die!  I had water to wash it down and the water tasted SO WEIRD.  Made me wonder if this is what I might expect after surgery.  I lived/ haha

Holidays are treating me super well.  I had my surgery on the first day of spring.  On Halloween I reached my 100lb loss goal (205lbs).  On Thanksgiving, I reached an even 200lbs!  Shy of onederland, but at least 200 is a nice, round number  

As I stepped on my scale this morning I wasn't expecting anything because I had stall a few days ago and figured it was going to stay that way. I knew stalls were going to happen and I'm okay with that. I feel like it's part of life. What actually happened was not what I was expecting. I made my 100 lb goal this morning. From my highest weight of 421 at the first of the year I am down to 320. 2 lbs. I was shocked. I had ordered my 100 lb progress bead for my key chain knowing it wouldn't get here until after thanksgiving. Giving me enough time to drop the weight if it was going to happen. If it didn't happen I would just hang on to the bead until I did and add it to my keychain. Guess I'll be adding it when it gets here. 
Each bead represents a goal I made for myself things like walking around the grocery store every week for a month to losing the exact amount of weight my pit bull weighs (60 lbs) Little things like that give me focus and a goal to work towards. 

I finally got my last weight loss reward. I have a fur for the winter to combat being cold all the time. I can't begin to express how much joy my new car and wardrobe bring me. I would have never comfortably fit into a sports car before losing weight, and it is nice to be able to wear a fur without being the size of an actual bear.

I just added up my bills for pre-surgery clearance to-date: $2,997, what insurance paid, not what was billed. Includes: endoscopy ($900); cardiology ($603); psych consult ($532); radiology ($336); six dietitian group classes  ($210) ; surgeon ($192); 1st sleep study @ home ($144); labs ($59).  Wow!

After many years of losing myself to weight loss and gain, many months of planning, eating better, Dr's appointments and seminars, and many many days of worrying, the time has finally come.  I'm scheduled to get to the hospital today at 12:00.  Everyone warns you about nausea after the surgery but nobody warns you about it before...the anticipation is driving me insane! I have a little tote packed with earplugs, headphones, comfy pjs (just in case), my unflavored protein, and lots of fidget toys.   I know this is going to be the start of something great for me but I might go crazy waiting!  I'm trying to stay as busy as possible but my entire body knows something big is looming and it's in overdrive.  See you all on the other side! 

Got my date, and I'm kinda bummed because its so far away:  March 14th.  My surgeon is a marshmallow about the dates, but his office staff is run by an 86-star general and she says I have to have 180 days in before we file with insurance -- not just 6 dietitian meetings, but 7, effectively.  And here I thought I could even get in early -- nope!  Oh well, it is what it is.  
My personal goal is to lose 10 pounds by March 1st, but no more.  Feels doable.

Got my date, and I'm kinda bummed because its so far away:  March 14th.  My surgeon is a marshmallow about the dates, but his office staff is run by an 86-star general and she says I have to have 180 days in before we file with insurance -- not just 6 dietitian meetings, but 7, effectively.  And here I thought I could even get in early -- nope!  Oh well, it is what it is.  
My personal goal is to lose 10 pounds by March 1st, but no more.  Feels doable.

100 freaking pounds gone, and only 5.3 lbs from goal.

Tomorrow is the day. I don't have to be there until 2 pm and my surgery is scheduled for 4 pm. I had thought I was was strangely calm, but after it was pointed out to me that I was barricading myself on the couch with all the things I had to pack I have a clothes basket in front of me and a bunch of stuff beside me along with my sweet furbabies who love to lay next to me. Apparently I do this when I'm anxious. my way of protecting myself I guess. 
Anyway here is a picture of my sweet furbabies who are trying to help me through the anxiety. 

I started my liquid diet yesterday. I feel like I should be missing eating food, but I'm not. I don't get it. Maybe it'll show up later after a few weeks of being on liquids. Maybe I'm in denial, who knows. Right now I'm feeling calm and positive. I hope this lasts until Wednesday. 2 more days!

One month Post-OP and here is what I've accomplished:
PROS: Lost 22 lbs. No longer on blood pressure meds. No longer require CPAP.  No snoring. Dropped from size 18 to 16. My shoes fit better.  Increased walking from about 500 steps on day 1 after surgery to 12,000 steps per day after one month. Back to resistance training after 3 weeks and nearly up to my pre-surgery routine. Back to  yoga and slow regaining abdomincal strength. Full of energy. Calorie intake has increased from about 300 per day (first week) to about 900 per day (surgeons recommendations).  Discovered new protein foods like powdered peanut butter and nutritional yeast. Discovered that low fat yogurt and ricotta and cottage cheese can be quite yummy. Discovered that i can survive quite happily without alcohol, cofffee or sugar. Discovered that its incredibly empowering to be able to decline sweets and treats because I truly have no interest in them now.
CONS: I nearly killed myself because my feet got tangled in my too-loose pants at the top of the stairs. I pee twice a night. I don't poop nearly enough. My hips and butt kinda hurt from joint pain, I don't know why.  I do get pretty tired in the afternoon. I have some insomnia but I found that if I have a little snack before I got to bed, that I sleep better. 

Today was my last weigh in at PCP... I am down 15 lbs since starting this process... Friday I have the last of my insurance requirements. Then submit, wait and pray.... almost there WOOHOO

Pre-ops DONE!  DONE!  DONE!   Appointment with surgeon in a week -- he all but said he'd submit me for insurance approval at this point, even without 6 months of classes under my belt.  If I ruled the world (haha), I'd have surgery on 12/18 and take two weeks of leave over the holidays -- with nobody in the office the wiser.  We shall see. :-)

It's my 1 year surgiversary!!!!  106lbs down from pre -op weight and 130lbs down from my highest weight.

OH BOY!!  I am two days away from sleeve surgery. I am so excited!! Today is the last day of my full liquid diet. All clear liquids tomorrow with the awesome mag citrate. 
Also working this evening and tomorrow evening as well. That's the not so fun part.
Prayers, well wishes, and positive vibes appreciated!
Thanks!

So the ex-bf is completely out of the picture. I could not handle the uncertainty of his behaviors. One day he likes the way I dressed, the next day I was begging for attention. Once he started with the insecurities, I had to let it go. Truthfully, it did not hurt me as much as I thought it would. And that is because I had falling in love with someone else. 
I fell in love with a woman. She is the most funny, beautiful and caring person I have ever met. She is strong, confident and dorky at the same time. She is everything I ever wanted in a person and she is ME!! I FELL IN LOVE with MYSELF again. I forgot the person I used to be and went searching for her and I found her. I never want to lose her again. If that meant giving up someone else for the sack of myself, then I would do what is necessary to keep me as a I am.
I guess sometimes you have to be selfish. I cannot sacrifice my success to make someone else fell secure in themselves. I cannot sacrifice my peace of mind to give some one a peace of mind. I just could not keep living my life through other peoples wants, hopes and desires. I want to live my life for me. I have wants, hopes and desires and I plan on making them happen. 
"Like a Phoenix, out of the Ashes comes NEW LIFE!"

Yesterday I completed 2 more steps towards surgery...NUT and exercise class and a Support group... I really enjoyed the support group there were several people that were both pre and post op... It was quite informative. The class went over both the pre and post op diets and discussed vitamin a bit. only 2 more appts left... last weigh in with my PCP, and my UGI 1 on 1 NUT. both the first week of Nov WOOHOO

I've been thinking about what my surgery goals are.  Here's my list:
1.  Neck circumference less than 14-inches, which is a threshold for sleep apnea.
2.  Waist less than 32.5 inches, or half my height, which is threshold for heart health.
3.  Weight down 50 pounds or more, which is what the two heavy-as-heck dumbells in my media room weigh.  This will be good for my hips, knees and feet.  This will put my weight to at least where my PCP wants me.
Everything else is gravy.
Psych evaluation in 1.5 hours -- I'm a little nervous!

Today I finally hit 100 pounds lost since my highest weight! I'm pretty stoked, and hoping I can get to goal weight by the time of my one-year surgiversary. 

Wonderful success 1 week after my surgery.  No gas problems at all.  I can't believe how smoothly and effectively my surgery has gone.  I couldn't have dreamed of better.  I'm eating about 2 oz. 3 times a day.  (soups, mashed veggies, fish, crab, yogurt)- all successful! 
First follow up appointment is Monday.  10/16/2017. 

My crazy pre-op clearance requirements:
Done
labs radiology upper GI, chest xray, abdominal sonogram (hiatal hernia) cardio stress + echo sleep study (tonight) Remaining To-Do's
psych consult endoscopy Plus
6 diet consults (2/6 done) 3 surgeon appts (1/3 done) PCP final pre-op  

I weighed 179 this morning which is now under my goal of 180.  I really am going to have to figure out how to get this weight loss to stop.  I'm going to hire a trainer after this next round of work travel, so that will probably help, but there is no way I can eat more right now.  (Who ever thought this would be an issue?!?)

Two weeks post op today. Since beginning the program, am down 47 pounds, 13 pounds since surgery on September 18th. Did have some "constipation issues" but Miralax did not help. So, got some puree baby food prunes. and had 1 container on 2 consecutive days which did the trick on day 10 post op. Have been working on keeping the protein way up, since we were told in the post op class that it takes 90-100 g of protein to prevent hair loss, So, throughout the day I drink two 16 oz Protein-2-0 (30g protein isolate total 120 calories), 1 premier protein (30 g protein 160 calories) I usually have a serving of bone broth (10g protein and 50 calories). So, 70 g protein in 330 calories. Then have soft chicken or fish for the rest of the protein.  Stopped the pain meds 3 days ago, was taking 1 at night time, but they were getting me very unmotivated to move around and wanting to sleep too much. All in all, things are going well.

Radiology tests done, onward to cardiologist for pre-surgery stress test.  So far, so good!  :-)