FluffyChix

So I think as everyone here agrees: 1. This is a very common experience many bariatrics share. 2. You should really seek a referral to a bariatric therapist to help facilitate your movement through this process. Or maybe join a local group session with your surgeon's practice. I'm a member of 2 -- 1 I attend monthly and is awesome. We talk about our feelings, our challenges and triumphs and life in general and it's awesome! Plus this place is just super duper! But what you are experiencing is grief. There are 5 stages of which anger is one of them. It's important to share your feelings, talk, get the anger out and work thru each stage so that you can progress to the last stage which is acceptance. I knew about this going into surgery and so had done a lot of the head work in the year leading up to surgery. Because I was ready for it, lol, wouldn't you know? I didn't have any grief over food. I'm lucky. I did have bouts of being hangry/angry/terse and did have bouts of sadness that came and went like a flash. That's due to the hormonal shifts happening as we liberate fat for fuel. It can totally jack with us. But it wasn't related to lack of food. I had been eating healthy for so long leading up to surgery that I actually had a taste preference for healthy "clean" low fat foods like lean proteins, leafy grees/low glycemic veg, and low healthy fats. I know now, that's because I actually re-built my gut microbiome because of my great diet and that biome caused my preferences to shift. Now, that didn't and doesn't mean I don't have cravings, head hunger, and desire for bad stuff. It didn't mean I was 100% perfect. But I strove to be, cuz I knew, that way too soon--that bad decision making would express itself and I would cave and eat something "bad"--and feel miserable (hurting, sick, nausea) afterward as a result. So it's not that you will never eat your old foods. You should work on reframing your brain. Use this honeymoon period that is WAY too short, to shift your thinking. Think instead: Look at what GREAT choices I'm making, and let me see how healthy and dense I can eat, while keeping my calories and food quantities the lowest and let me see how quickly I can get this 10lbs off of me! See how MUCH nutrition you can get per calorie. Focus on "nutrient dense" low calorie, real food!!! And resign that it's OK, to be hungry! Cuz hunger only lasts 20 minutes then will go away if you don't feed it. It won't grow. It won't kill you at this point. You have a feast table on your tummy, thighs, and bottom. I kept a spread sheet. And each decade of weight, I knew approximately how many days it would take me to lose that decade! And I made a game of it. I was so thrilled with the movement on the scale and the smaller sizes of clothes, that it kept me busy and engaged in the process in a very positive way. I was laser focused on losing the current decade of weight. Then it was onto the next decade. It's all about the spin you put on things. You know?

Your energy will pick up once your body converts to burning fat for fuel. Are your drinks/meals low protein?

coming back to reply to this very cool post!

Oh yeah. You need a "big job".

Ugh nasty stuff. I tried it. And quit it. And took up drinking 12g of psyllium seed every day, plus Miralax, plus stool softener, plus 2 mag citrate pills. It's the magic recipe for me.

Yep. Apply yourself. Bust the goal. And the good news is, there's little pressure on you from your doc. Cuz you can lose 9lbs in 3 months easily, right? I'm a slow loser, and lost 15lbs during that 3 month period - just fyi.

Wha what???? *drool*

@sillykitty Oh wow! What a great post!!!! It's a love fest!!! You inspired me to move out a "tiny" bit from my laser focus. *snort* Congrats on maintaining 125lbs lady! You are at my "Top Secret Barbie Dream Girl Goal" (Goal #4)!!! How does it feel there? Have you met Malibu Barbie there? How does the pink convertible drive? You took a scenic and I took the "shortest route down the interstate" with a few "scenic overlook" stops, and you still beat me to the destination! And I congratulate you on your hard work. Even though you had a lot of restriction, you worked your keester off! And I know you still had angst during the process and had to deal with second guessing yourself, your tool and how you would/should eat, etc. Congratulations on losing 118.4lbs girlie! You lost an entire adult woman and are dang near half the woman you once were!!! That's amazing! And do you realize how few people on this earth can claim that victory? I'm sorry your hunger is back in full force, but I'm actually a little relieved for you that your tummy has relaxed a little, because that means you can get more nutrition in that will allow you to stay healthy as you age! And love that you make good choices!!! Nothin' wrong with a slice of pizza and a big ol' salad if it doesn't screw up your metabolism!!! I think most people believe the honeymoon period is the "time when you get maximum weight loss from your tool alone." But I believe it's actually the period of time where the tool allows us the time to reshape our behaviors and interaction with food and learn new/better ways of eating and enjoying healthier food. Cuz don't you think the "way" you eat and the food choices are better for you a greater percentage of the time? I agree that IF is what I hope will be "MY" personal tool for maintenance. I am pretty sure I will always be doing some form of it, interspersed with healthy maintenance level "regular" eating which I haven't even stopped to figure out yet. I'm about 10lbs away from meeting Malibu Barbie and Ken. Never in a million years thought I would say that. *Raising my ginormous glass of psylli tea to salute you!*

One thing I fear as I grow older: 4. Pooping while laying on sheets on summer nights

Exactly. The long game. (However conversely, I'm infinitely aware that at any moment the lunatic could take control of the asylum and I don't want to get caught up in rationalizing repetitive and frequent poor decisions and suffer regain.) You know? It's an endless tug-of-war and dance.

Sorry in advance for the long post. But had a revelation I want to share and hope you can take encouragement from it. One of the many things I love about IF, is that it's helping me forge a new trusting relationship with my "dragon," the inner 2 year old who still tries to surface and throw hedonic ("rewards" originating from the lizard brain = pre-brain = hypothalmus = brain stem) tempertantrums in order to get my "fix," whatever that fix happens to be. (Name your poison.) For us MO people (even skinny MOs), chances are we've dueled with our lizard aka dragon more times than we can know or even remember. It's part of what got us a lifetime ticket to the Obesity Ball, and means that forever until eternity, we have a different set of "road rules" for eating than naturally skinny people or people who've never experienced an excess weight or metabolic problem. For the longest time, I had no trust in my hedonic bad self. In fact I often refered to myself as a mid-hedonist. But since words have meaning and can cue intent, maybe I need to rethink that title. Maybe I should claim "Recovering Mid Hedonist"? LOL! RMH! Yeah, that has a nice ring. Anyway, IF has taught me, and @sillykitty has talked about this many times in her journey, most excellently and succinctly, but it's taught me to trust myself on Feast meals. Last night I had a feast "meal" or rather, experience. And I lived it up. But it was SO different than in days past. Very limited off-plan foods in very small servings (some no more than a taste), and portion controlled regular size healthy foods. And only 2 very small glasses of dark dry red wine. This morning, I woke up and was 3 lbs up on the scale after a very nutrient dense 3 days of fasting mimicking diet. At first that might have sent me into a tailspin of depression and defeat which would have led to me feeding my dragon wildly inappropriate hedonistic "rewards" punishments. But instead, I actively made my choices for that one "meal". I KNEW and accepted the consequences of my choices/action and even knew ahead of time how badly the scale would reflect the near-Bacchanalia. And when I saw the 3lbs, I knew it was fluid. I knew I just needed to write the number down and get started with my day. And btw, I KNOW I need a good solid visit to the throne. hehe but TMI. So now, I'm back to my fasting day and am doing a KetoBiotic fast for the next few days filled with deeply nutritious veggies, blueberries, pecans, spirulina, and other rich polyphenols and fibers and filled with brain food: salmon, sardines, liver, eggs and I know I will be back to my posted weight of 133lbs by Monday. No sweat. No tears. No recriminations. No beatings. No lie. It's just another day in paradise working my plan on my way to Goal #3. I could not have claimed that when I started this journey or even in my early honeymoon with WLS. Life is an evolution. Evolve my friends.

Great analogy! I think I will steal it! 🍾

Yeah, this confused me constantly! When to weigh and when to measure and I wish someone had told me this from the beginning. So here it is in a nutshell. Ok? Volume is KING. (like seriously) Our RD and surgeon talk in terms of ounces in 2 ways=volume and scale weight of food. Sometimes they use it interchangeably. But strictly speaking the only "true" time that they are 1:1 is in water (a pint is a pound the world around which means 16oz =1lb=16oz by weight). So we all know that liquids are gonna be a measurement and for instance 4oz of volume = 1/2 cup volume because 1oz fills 1/8cup of space. That works for anything that is smooth, including purees and soups. Right? So far things are easily understood. Right? But, when you start talking about dense foods, most specifically protein=which is also KING (or maybe it's QUEEN=second most important), things start getting blurry. Most RDs believe 1oz of dense protein by weight fits in 1oz of volume (or in 1/8cup measuring cup). But that's not strictly true. Some "wet" proteins might equal that, but mostly here is what you need to know to put this together regarding the dense foods that are best measured on the scale: 1oz dense protein by weight = approx. 1/4cup volume = 6-7g of protein/oz wt. = 6-7g protein per 1oz./wt. and 1/4cup vol. 2oz dense protein by weight = approx. 1/2cup volume = 6-7g of protein/oz wt. = 12-14g protein per 2oz./wt. and 1/2cup vol 3oz dense protein by weight = approx. 3/4cup volume = 6-7g of protein/oz wt. = 18-21g protein per 3oz./wt. and 3/4cup vol 4oz dense protein by weight = approx. 1cup volume = 6-7g of protein/oz wt. = 24-28g protein per 3oz./wt. and 3/4cup vol. 1-1 1/2oz dense veggies raw by weight = approx 1/4-1/2cup by volume 1oz dense veggie cooked by weight = approx 1/8-1/4cup by volume Depending where you are in recovery, your protein prescription for the day would be: 60-80g protein daily (by protein content). And on meals you will be told to eat: 1-2oz protein (by weight or volume-remember they think it's 1:1). So they are saying you have a volume target of 1/8-1/4cup MAX per meal to accomplish your daily protein goal. So at first, you might literally be eating every 1-2 hours to reach your goal--and those meals mostly ONLY consist of protein heavy meals! But as you heal your meal volume target grows. Phase 1: 1-2oz volume measurement (liquids), actual meal weight on scale will mostly equal volume measurement Phase 2: 2-4oz volume measurement (liquids, purees), actual meal weight on scale will vary against the volume measurement Phase 3: 3-4oz volume measurement (liquids, purees, soups/stew, mushy soft foods), actual meal weight on scale will vary greatly against the volume measurement (think 4oz by volume = 1/2cup of chicken pot pie filling weighs much more than 4oz by volume of a chicken broth by weight. Or 1/2cup of cottage cheese weighs much more than a 1/2cup of Greek Yogurt, which weighs even more than a 1/2cup of regular yogurt. You see where I'm going?). Phase 4: 4-6oz liquid measurement (liquids, purees, soft mushy foods, dense proteins, dense vegetables), actual meal weight on scale will vary greatly against the volume measurement Phase 5 (forever diet): MAX 8oz liquid measurement (all foods), actual meal weight on scale will vary greatly against the volume measurement ******************* Ok, so what the hell does this mean? It means that you put a measuring cup on the scale at whatever your volume target is per meal (ie 1/4, 1/2, 3/4, 1 cup), and you actually "weigh" the food into it! You stop when you reach your meal volume target. That's all you get for that meal. At first, your cup will only be filled with dense proteins cuz that's what will fill you quickest, stay with you the longest and satiate, and will help meet your protein goals. But as your tool matures and there is more real estate inside, you will be able to get your protein goals in each meal with little problem, even when you eat to your maximum volume meal size target. For instance, I can get all protein from food and no longer rely on getting it from protein drinks or bars/supps. But I will still have some of those when I "want" them. I just know now, with a mature pouch, the protein drinks and supplements will not fill me up like they did in the early days. My meal volume for life = 1 cup per meal. Here's how I fill that. 1 cup volume/meal = 3oz protein (about 3/4cup filled up by dense protein) + 1 to 1 1/2oz dense veggie cooked (about 1/4cup filled up by dense veggie) + 1tsp healthy fat equivalent. And here's what I can usually assume on protein for that meal. I can assume per meal that I'm getting: 3oz dense lean protein = 7g/oz by weight = 21g protein from meat 1oz dense veggie cooked = 1g/oz by weight = 1g protein from veggie 21g + 1g = 22g protein per meal for 1 cup of food that contains 3oz of protein by weight + 1oz veggie by weight. My goal for protein is about 60-74g per day of very complete and varied protein sources. ************************** I hope this helps and doesn't confuse you any more than you are. VOLUME is KING! But PROTEIN is QUEEN. You must satisfy the queen for the day, but you have to make sure you eat the correct volume per meal to do it = "KING's Orders"-- even if that means eating 6 times per day! Make sense?

I'm gonna give this a thumbs up. Although that can be bad AND good.

You'll feel amazeballs with a 1+ lb poop! Just sayin...

Yes. I had to lose 10%.

Yes. Totally normal. To this day I gurgle at times.

Yes indeedy. Too much MRSA and MSSA floating around in the hospital. They don't want to risk any open sores.

Wow! Look at you go girl!!! You're a rockstar!!! Go go gadget!

I understand! ((hugs)) How'd it go with it this time?

WTG! That's awesome progress!!! You got this!

Seriously perplexed at that bit of snarky to me from you. Just sayin. Things that make you go "Hmmm." SMH

😧😕 Wow! Sounds like you're saying I get plenty of all 3 kinds of "exercise?"

Damn. Tea started it by asking about running shoes. Now I'm down a new rabbit hole. 😯