brandyII

Jachut, Thanks I think a lot of what you have said here is true. Here in the US we're shoved different diets left and right, you get a comerical on TV for a diet and right afterwards for chocolate cake, it can be a little crazy. All Atkins did was make me feel nauseous especially in the morning, I'm not an egg sausage as soon as you get up person. I know it works for a lot of people but it a whole different world when that's all you eat. I think being able to get in good whole grains would possible help me. even the Weight Watchers frozen dinners aren't much into whole grains they're mostly Proteins and veg and keep me craving for more. I was raised where we only ate whole wheat bread, brown rice and very little processed foods. A lot of it was health but also money, raising five kids on my dad's salary. I had never eaten "wonder bread" until we all went to the Wonder Bread factory in grade school and they gave everyone a free loaf and I think we all ate them on the bus on the way back to school! That's the truth. Anyway I think getting back to basics and cooking again, I'm one that had a lot of the fill taken out so I only have 2ccs out of 10 there now and should be able to tolerate some brown rice and whole grain bread again. I haven't been focusing in the right direction and need to focus on healthy choices and not necessarily "diet" foods and I think that's kind of what you're saying. And getting back on the treadmill too. I appreciate your support, brandyII.

One brownie can make me fat, if you cut them really big!!!!:smile: No joking aside, I did ask my nurse practitioner if she could send me to one of those fat farms, spas or whatever they are for a few months, I think I could handle that but I don't know if my insurance would cover it. Wouldn't that be nice, especially before my mother in law came up! Nancy

I kind of felt Grey's epispode last night was almost a "zing" to the actor who played Christina's boyfriend last season. First they take the "gay" actor that he was fired for insulting over and put him in a higher position at the hospital, well OK it wasn't a "real" position but for an intern he was supposed to have the best job or whatever. Then they have the gay soldiers who "don't ask, don't tell policy of the military" was brought up, still feel like this was directed to the actor for his anti-gay remarks. And yes I was wrong, I thought they were going to show two women as lesbians on the show way before they'd ever show two gay men. So I think that was to kind of zing to that actor too, sorry my brain and names don't mix. Then they had Christina come out about how she had helped him get where he was and he didn't give her any credit etc...but they had his picture up on the bulletin board. Gay people and shows don't bother me at all. I was more or less shocked that they were just so into it when they were first kissing, it was fairly passionate and I guess I wasn't prepared or something. I'm glad in the end that the father came to terms with his son somewhat. I think I yelled and laughed and screamed a lot while watching the episode last night as my husband was snoring next me but still didn't wake him up! Meridith on the other hand handing McDreamy over to that nurse, what's her face, I wanted to take her and shake her and say "you've got your chance". And what's with that therapist, what therapist is like that, none I've ever gone to that's for sure. I mean it was good that she told Meredith the truth but pretty unrealistic. I did think the end when McDreamy, almost said McSteamy, brought her the bottle of champagne and said that they'd open it when they saved their first life etc... was really sweet, They need to be together! And as for the "are they lesbians" that was pretty good too when she said she had a hard time making friends, wonder why, but it's the only time she seems to have a personality when she's with her. All I have to say for Grey's at this moment and sorry I forget their names, it's either old age, my meds or the 70s!:lol:brandyII

Thanks Susan and hugs to you too, I'm glad I posted this I was affraid it was going to end up with more bashing but it's turned into something that I was hoping it would and that was HOPE for us all Hugs and Hope Nancy.:smile:

BJean, It seems that the first reaction my surgeon's team of people would have when you weren't losing weight was to put more fill in you like that was going to be the answer. That happened to me and I didn't question it. Then that one terrible day when I was filled with a cc more than they had recorded and then that 10 hour day of puking my own saliva and after that I knew there was something screwing going on when it came to fills. Hence why I had to beg my surgeon to take out the two to keep me from compensating the lack of regular food with softer/slider foods because whatever you want to call it and I think it's more of a physiological hunger not just psychological my body was telling me to eat whether it was crap or what my body wanted food. The really rotten part is you will go to a site where someone has a problem with the band and they're told to get a different surgery. You look at that surgery and someone has a problem with that and they're told to get a band on top of it and so on and on and on. I don't know how they can specifically find the exact treatment for each of us as individuals. I know it wasn't done through the psych eval, that was a waste of time! Anyone could pass that, at least the one I had and my daughter too. The hardest part is not beating ourselves up and we tend to over focus on our faults, weight being the major one. I know we all are good people I can tell by what we've written before on thread. I was a fat kid out of five the only one, I was never abused, not in the sense that most people think a lot of obese children are but I was always very sensitive and probably had a hard time expressing my hurt or anger or whatever and still today during certain circumstance I go back in that little girl who just wants to crawl up in a ball and not deal with whatever is hurting or attacking me. I know I've posted in many threads and some were about self love and that was because it was so difficult for me to love myself as a fat person and a lot of people took it the wrong way as I'm advocating it's great to be fat and hate all thin people, well some of it got that crazy. Anyway sometimes I think that gets in the way of me progressing, I don't know if you all feel that way too but it's such a complicated issue for a lot of us. Especially hard when you have lost a big chunk and have gained it back. Now I know a lot of you have done that on the band. I never got to that point but I have prior to the band and felt horrible. Took off 100 put back 100 twice and I think I've never felt more horrible about myself and was extremely sensitive to the "few" people that would happen to comment on it. Of course I still carry that in my heart like a wound of many. I think it was much harder to deal with the weight gain than to deal with never having lost it in the first place. Anyway I could go on forever but I think there are a group of us that need extra support because we're not the "just eat less and work out people and you'll lose weight". It's so much more complicated and even with our similarities we are very different. I know I have to live more in the moment and quit focusing on the past mistakes or the future failures or whatever and pat myself on the back once in a while because that's the pat I need the most. I told my "therapist" not really but she's better than anyone I've ever had, that I was concerned as my mother n law was coming up next week for a visit with her eldest son, my bro n law and I was nervous because she's always been kind of critical of me and is one of those people that points out to me that I'm fat, thank God, never knew I was. Anyway she asked me how I would respond to her if she were to do so on this trip. I told her that I'd just sort of walk away, not say anything but bitch to my husband that he has a bitch for a mother. She told me that I need to tell her straight away that it hurts my feelings when she says these things and that I have a major struggle with my weight and this does nothing to help me with it. It wasn't that big of a deal but to me it was because I tend to be over focused on what people think of me. Anyway, I've gone on too long but I felt like sharing and hope I didn't bore you to tears, I think we need a name for our group so someone come up with a suggestion hugs to all, Nancy:thumbup:

See I don't feel crazy now that you've said you've never heard of that before if someone is getting their fills. I've certainly had my share of fills and unfills! My problem isn't over eating it's what I'm eating I suppose and the band doesn't help in that respect. Thanks brandyII.

Thanks Heidi, Didn't know all your details and thought it was something to do with the initial surgery. Now I remember your previous post about your band complications and all this time I thought you were a boy because of your avatar name! Sorry about all the probs you're having now and hope you feel better soon, Nancy

BJean, Thanks you're very honest and I feel the same way with you. My doctor just started doing the band about two years ago and had always done the gastric bypass surgery. So there are many more patients who have had the other surgery. I was going to but chickened out about two weeks prior to surgery and got the band because I told him I didn't care how fast I lost it as long as I was able to lose a portion, get close to 200 or under and not gain it back! Well went from 253 to 220+ and then had surgery and it came back on up to (depending on the scale) 246 to 250. I was truly happy at 225, I knew I wasn't perfect but my jeans fit and now they don't. I don't see myself going past 250 at this point, for some reason I can feel it, I want to go back to the 225 and below again. In some ways I feel like I didn't have enough info, like I was telling Plain above, and you also are a "smartie" that I went back to the lapband website and it never said as far as I can tell that those foods to be avoided would be easy to eat and that's why they should be avoided! I didn't come to the forum until after I became desperate after going for fills and weigh-ins with no progress and only despair. When I last met with my surgeon after fooling around with fills for months I told him that I honestly did not know that those foods would go down easily etc... and that they are a problem and that if he took out 2ccs and I went from 4 down to 2 I could possibly eat healthier foods and follow a plan like Weight Watchers and at least try it and maybe I was compensating the lack of food with the easy bad ones because I couldn't get enough of the good foods. Like trying to eat an orange and only getting to eat half a piece without feeling like barfing! So even though he didn't want to he did. I did well the first week but the second week I screwed up, went down for a funeral so long road trip and depressing etc... so I messed up and put back what I had lost the first week. Maybe I'm giving up too soon and I'm not using the band now as it was intended by letting so much out but I still feel restriction just not as much. Eating bread is still difficult so I know there's restriction. I went to a site where they all are getting the DS and that does seem really drastic and is more complicated than a regular bypass but it maybe the only thing that would work with me. Like you said to Plain about head hunger, there should be a warning on the Lap Band site, "hey if you have head hunger do not enter" because it's not going to help you. If you eat big portions of meat and potatoes it's for you! Especially if you like turkey and white bread without mayo sandwiches three at a time we'll fix you right up! Thanks for you words of encouragement. I just feel stuck, not food stuck, but like do I proceed with something else, possibly get surgery three hours away or do I leave in an object that I should never have gotten because I really wasn't the right candidate for it. Then there's insurance etc... and I don't want to get gastric bypass surgery if that's not going to work either after hearing what people have said about that and how much better the DS is for certain types of people. Anyway rambling on too long but thanks, I always appreciate hearing what you say. I know you are struggling too after your loss and gain/plateau type situation that's very painful and scary place to be too, Nancy.

Plain, I see you as one of the "smarties" of the board, and I'm not being sarcastic. I went back to the "www.Lapband.com" to look over the part about what you should eat and it doesn't say that the foods like chips, chocolate and cake, Cookies will go down without a problem, (sliders) but says they should be avoided. Now in my mind that meant you should stay away from them means it's bad to add that to your daily meal along with the Protein veg, because you'll have more in your pouch of bad foods than good. Not that they'd go down fine whereas the protein and veg would fill your pouch. Am I wrong? Seriously. Avoiding something is one thing but actually stating that those are the foods that will down without a problem is something else. The only foods they mentioned that would go down without a problem were milkshakes and sodas. This is my problem, I did not know that I could still eat foods like that and they wouldn't fill my pouch and that was a weakness I had before the surgery. Now it appears that the only surgery that would help a person like myself is the DS and that from what I understand is not performed by my surgical team and I really don't have much confidence in anything else. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo at this point. I never considered myself to be a stupid person and try to research and if I had thought this would still be an issue I never would have had the surgery because I knew it wouldn't help. For so long I felt like a failure because I couldn't get this thing working and felt alone and that's kind of why I posted this to see if there were more people out there like me who would come out. That way I could look forward by getting ideas of what to do next which I'm finding on other forums but haven't found here yet but have liked this board so much that I was hoping to. Sorry to get so wordy, but it's just how I feel at the moment, thanks brandyII. .

Thanks Molly Molly, you look so happy in your picture, no one could ever be mad at you! I guess some of us just can't be as compliant either so that is something to take into consideration but why some can be compliant and others can't. I mean if I could have been compliant without the band I wouldn't really need it. I guess like I've heard some people say some are more or less bulk eaters so the band is like heaven to them and those are the types of people that it can really help. I wasn't like that. Everyone has their own story etc...about why they're obese but everyone is different I guess and maybe I didn't take that into consideration when I was getting banded. Naturally I passed the psyche eval and and everything else and lost the 10% of my bodyweight prior to surgery on the four week Medifast shake diet so thought I was good to go but I was wrong. I am looking now into a revision, researching that is, God knows if it would be covered or if my surgeon or his team would do it but I've heard some people say that the DS is the best surgery for a person like me. Anyway thanks for the words of encouragement and you've done really well and I'm happy for you! brandyII

Thanks for sharing dJarnold. That's pretty much how my weight came back on too. I've read where it's just not right for everyone. Not saying that you should give up yet but how long do we wait. I didn't expect to gain back everything and not loose, no one wants that! Thanks brandyII

BJean, I feel like singing the song to the munchkins from Wizard of Oz "come out come out where ever you are.... I too have a lot of those same issues that you spoke about which make it more difficult to lose. I'm on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, have a thyroid issue but medicated, type II diabetes, not medicated at the momement, I'm 48 years old. My weight is 248 and I wanted to get down to 200, which to most people seems like a lot to weigh but for me it was basically my first goal and would probably be satisfied to get that far. I had gotten close to 220 on Medifast right after surgery but since then with the fills adjustments, no fill, too much fill whatever I just put it all back on. So getting down to 220 was a big deal to me and I was almost thrilled at that weight! Then to go back up to close to the 253 where I started just about killed me! So I never lost I gained. I don't think I was the right candidate and have been chatting with people on another forum that my nutritionist suggested and they have very similar problems and most are getting revisions or have already had them. I'm afraid at this point or paranoid that no surgery would work for me or I for it, I've lost confidence. I'm at the point now with only 2 ccs that I can eat a WW tv dinner and try to follow the points plan but I can't always stick to it and exercising on the treadmill isn't always the best thing for me because I'm built like a candy apple! I have very thin legs and gain belly up. So I end up getting really muscular legs and thinner ones and it makes me look bigger on top. Anyway that's about the gist of it. So like I said I just have a feeling it wasn't the right surgery for me (without sounding like a basher) and I'm trying to figure out what to do now. I had the surgery last august and that's almost 9 months now and I don't know how much longer I should go without making some drastic change. Thanks for your help brandyII.

Jachut, I didn't want to give the impression that the people on this forum weren't compassionate, because I've enjoyed everyone here whether we agree or disagree, it's my favorite forum. It's just that a lot of people have been afraid to come forward with "band-human-failure" for many reasons. Some are embarrassed, some don't want to hear it's not the band it's you, some just read posts and never write anyway but I do think some have been scared off. I think it helps people who are going to get the band to know that maybe there's a chance it won't work out the way you think it will. But more for those who are already in that situation of "failure". Maybe it depends on how the band is presented or not presented. I don't know why some fail and some don't but it helps those of use who have failed to know there are others out there and what options they're going to take etc... We all wish we would be successful and when we can't it's really hard. It's not that we don't want to hear about the successful people but we all wish we were in that same group! It's not being anti-band to me it's more like what probs are you having and how did you solve that and do you think you'll get a revision surgery. It's really not band bashing at all and don't want to come across that way but we need a place to discuss these issues openly and freely and not have to hide because we're afraid we'll get bashed or lectured or be accused of being band haters. Like I've said I've been PM'd by many people who you've never seen on these boards because they have similar stories and there must be more out there. Your success stories have helped many people and that's a good thing but you can imagine how a person feels when they see everyone else is doing well and think they're the only one out there that isn't. I'm not hear to bitch or vent, I basically want to see if there are others who can't get it to work like I haven't been able to not to bash but to commiserate in a way and go forward with ideas and such, thanks brandyII.

Thanks Fran and like I said I'm not here to bash the band but see if there are others like me who haven't been successful band patients. I've been to other forums where people are free to share their stories prior to revision or whatever choice there were going to make after "failure". I know it's easy for everyone to come on this thread and say the band doesn't fail you, you fail the band but it's not as easy as that for some people. The way I see it one band does not fit all and I'm not talking size. In this thread people are free to rant and rave and tend to rant and rave about many things other than the band so I felt this would be a good place to post it, thanks brandyII :thumbup:

I guess when I say "band failure" I don't mean physically the band is broken or the band isn't put in the right place that type of thing. It's more of a process failure whether it's people not being able to comply or not. Many people do very well on the band but there is a group out there besides myself that have just not been able to to lose weight with the band no matter what their situation is it's just not going to work for everyone and it's nice to know there are others that can feel free to come on here and share their stories too. Bands come in different sizes but that doesn't mean a banding in general will work with everyone. brandyII.

I'm not playing the "band hater" card by all means because it's obvious to me that it has worked for a large group of people. You can call it whatever you want to call it but there are actually people out there who have never been able to lose the weight on the band from the beginning not just the taper off people or the plateau people. I think people are given the impression that it should work for most people and it hasn't. I've seen where it's taken people almost two years to get their fills to where it should be right and still no success so I assume there must be more like that, thanks brandyII.

Thanks I'm really not trying to come across as "bitchy" but when it comes to the complications section it's more medical probs like slippage and erosion not why isn't it working like I thought it would. And seriously there are a lot of people that keep quiet on the board they PM instead. I've gone to other forums where they actually have sites for people who may need revision because for whatever reason their band is not assisting them in losing weight or they have problems with their gastric bypass too. So trying to get more feedback from people who just can't seem to get it right, thanks brandyII.

gaynor, sorry to hear more comps from the band hope you're doing well but have to ask "why do you have a staple line?" after the removal of the band, thanks brandyII.

We've gone from slapping fishes to choking chickens something is starting to get a bit raunchy on this thread and I think it's "plain" to see what it is!

Luluc, there's just too much thread intermingling going on around here so I thought I'd kill two fishes with one slap! brandyII

RinR, It just seems if I could do all those things I wouldn't have needed a lap band in the first place. I'm not saying it's impossible for me to cut back or to eliminate it but it's going to be pretty hard. I think quitting something like drinking and cigarettes is difficult but you still have to eat. You know what I mean. I've quit smoking and that's partially why it's easy for me to put the weight on. I know I sound like I have lots of excuses but I just don't know if I'd ever be that disciplined a person to eliminate all of that. I kind of was depending on the lap band to help me and I don't know if I was the right candidate for it in the first place. Thanks for your help, brandyII.

Just don't spank the fish for being an atheist before you cook it!

Thanks, I'll have to look for it. My sister went to visit a friend in Australia last year I'll ask her if she's familiar with it too, thanks brandyII.

No you have to cook a opossum and feed it to the fish.

Headhunter, Hope all went well with your surgery today and wish you a speedy recovery, oh and I'm still a band failure! brandyII.