brandyII

Good health to you Headhunter and speedy recovery! brandyII

Okay, during my period I started my WW diet plan and was doing well. Lost two pounds, then the second week I went away and it was difficult to get back on track. Now I'm two weeks from getting my period and I'm starting to want that sugar again!!!!!!! I feel like I've fallen off the wagon and I'm stressing because my mother-out-law is coming up in 10 days and I'm going to sabotage myself again!!!!!! Why, why do I go through this every time I have to deal with someone and feel so self conscience about my weight!!! I need to toughen up but it's so hard, my hormones are still screwed up as I don't get to see the my endocrinologist until August but I don't want to use that as an excuse. Sorry but had to vent!!!! brandy who is not feeling dandy at the momentII:scared2:

Thanks Mary I'm doing well and walked today. I did try the WW Desserts but sometimes eat too many!! I'll have to look into that book sounds interesting. I hope the visit goes well too, I'm just trying not to stress about it but it's hard. I don't want to drink the week away either! I'm thinking since my treadmill is in the basement I can always go down there to get away if I feel tortured, thanks Nancy.:welldoneclap:

Thanks Rebecca, I don't want to do anything drastic but I guess giving up was pretty drastic and you all have been very supportive. Maybe before I wasn't listening and giving everyone a chance or maybe I wasn't explaining my issues the right way, I don't know but I walked today on the treadmill and am trying again! Thanks Nancy.:welldoneclap:

I'm glad you've found what seems to be working for you, I know how hard it is on people when they get it removed, hard on people if they don't! Wish there was something easier but I'll keep on wishing! Happy Mothers Day to you too, brandyII:smile:

Sorry you had such problems with the band but thankful you shared your story. It seems like it's so much easier for some than others and we just can't get it right. I struggled sticking with WW prior to being banded and thought banding would help me stick to something similar to lose weight and so far it's been just as big a struggle prior to now. Physically I don't have any slippages, that I'm aware of, or other problems but just getting to the right spot as they say. I'm glad you've found a way to succeed anyway with the band and good luck to you, brandyII:smile:

StartingOver, I think it's great that you have such confidence in yourself as a fat person and/or a thin person but a lot of us for whatever reason don't. We're trying to get past it but it's not easy as we all don't come from the same place as you. People are judged every day by their looks, size, color, whatever and if you have confidence in yourself it does make a big difference but doesn't necessarily wipe away all the injustices in the world that others still face. brandyII

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE AND THOSE WHO ARE MOTHERLY TO PEOPLE TOO! brandyII

My Hero Kat, you have to change your name! No I even suggested a fluoro and he didn't seem to bite and after he took out the 2 ccs I didn't want to press because he didn't think I had any problems with the band placement because if I had I'd be throwing up. This is what he told me, am I wrong? You see your friends sound a lot like I do but they're not on this site are they and I can get that info from your which is really helpful. It's hard to know what went wrong and maybe since my doctors are new at the band they haven't come across too many people like me, obviously no one has, but it's hard to get it right. Now I have to sit here and wonder is my band okay at 2/10 full. I can feel full but I can also eat more at a sitting than I could prior to the time I was constantly vomiting up protein. Bread still fills me up but in time I hopefully will get out of the "habit" of using those other foods because I don't need to anymore. But I still don't know if I'm at "the sweet spot" maybe there isn't one for me because I have issues that some people don't have. I really have no idea. My insurance covers all my fills with a $40 copay so that's not a problem for me. I'm going to give this a chance and go exercise right now. I appreciate you sharing your stories about your friends because it's not a band bashing thing it's very helpful to a lot of us who are struggling with getting it right. Even though we see you as a person who has done really well on the band after a while we start thinking what's wrong with us and are we the only ones and why are we not doing well like everyone else. Not saying you shouldn't be up there we need to know it does work and you should be very proud of your success! Anyway I've been toooooo wordy today, I'm getting off the computer and going to walk on the treadmill:thumbup: Thanks again Kat, Nancy.

I guess you'd be a "green apple" then. I know not too :Banane53:. I'm the same way when I lose weight I want that thin waist and it never shows up. I'm sure when I was thin I looked good but still felt like my waist was always too big. My arms are large so I don't think I would consider myself as a spider. My legs were always my "good" part until I had my first pregnancy and obtained my mothers varicose veins!!!!!!!:welldoneclap: Had them removed and they come back and I'm not talking "spider" veins although they are at my ankles I'm talking the really big gross ones. The more I walk on the treadmill the more they seem to come back too which really sucks! I'm not going through that surgery again though it was the worst ever. I won't go into details but when you finally put weight on your legs after having a few incisions on both legs and you have almost two pounds of pressure guess what happens to those incisions. Let's just say it wasn't a pretty site and God knows what stain is still under the carpet! brandyII:scared2:

First I'd like to tell you that DH is "darling husband" or "dear husband" I wish I had the thread from the woman who explained it to me. She also said it could be "drunk husband, damned husband depending on one's personal preference etc.... Hope that helps. I was banded last 8/07. I also went through a phase where I was affraid to eat but the person who did my fills the first two times thought I had the small band and only put in less than 1 cc for the first two fills all together. Then my surgeon did my fill 3 months after surgery date and I was really filled and at the point where everything I ate had to be well chewed or I'd vomit and because I had gone the first three months thinking this is what it was like it kind of messed with my head in a way, hard to explain but it did. Then when I was filled with 3.5 it was right before I went home for Thanksgiving and then Christmas came and that's when I realized that the sugary stuff went down just fine and that's when I started using those kinds of foods to compensate for the fact that I was probably overfilled but didn't question it at all thinking this is how it's supposed to be as my surgeon put it in, you drink, it goes down. I had know idea at the time that I could have been over filled. Then I'm not losing but gaining so the next time I go to the fill nurse she assumes I'm gaining weight I must need more fill, so now it's worse, right. Then two weeks later I go back probably put on more pounds and guess what I need more fill because I'm gaining. This time she put it in but had written the wrong amount last time and thought I had a certain amount so she put in wayyyyy tooo much and that's when I had the 10 hour puking up my own saliva day until midnight when "my hero" surgeon, actually my daughters to be, met me at the office and figured it out and took out enough so that this was not an issue. Then went back a month later asked my surgeon to take out 2 out of the 4 so that I could possibly eat like a normal person, trying WW or something to lose. It is much better but since I'm not a bulk eater per se, I don't know what you call me maybe I am a sugar eater or it might even be more complicated because I was just choosing the foods that would go down easily because I was always overfilled. Then you get used to things the way it's been and hard to change back. Anyway I felt kind of alone out there, but I probably wasn't but then I found a forum of people that all were changing from the band to a DS because either it didn't work for them or they didn't work for it whatever you want to call it so I thought well maybe this is my place and my option. So I read up on the DS and it's one of the most extreme of the surgeries they do for gastric patients and start thinking is this really what I need to put my body through for the rest of my life and I'm almost 50 and don't know if that's really what I should do. Everyone is supporting me here as I've labeled myself a failure and have come up with solutions other than the basic ones but are more directed to my personal issues and have been very helpful and don't seem as condescending to me anymore. Because I really didn't want to come across as someone who hated the band I just felt like it wasn't for me. So 8/07 banded and lost about 25 pounds from prior to surgery to post surgery because I was on Medifast liquid shakes for four weeks, my poor daughter is on them from 6 weeks! Then slowly it started creaping back on. Sometimes I've crashed dieted and because it was a crash diet it goes back on quickly so maybe that's partially why besides the fact I was under filled or over filled and never hit that "sweet" spot that everyone talks about. By Christmas it really started coming back on because of all the "eating" holidays all the good baked goods were in the house and I couldn't eat the Protein but those went down so I ate them. I think your body/mind thing is pretty powerful and mine was telling me I'm starving and I was telling my stomach well these will feed you and did. So up to 248 to 250 now after starting at 253 around April of 2007. I've had motivational issues because of depression about the surgery and my failure and various things that come across in every day life like my mother in law coming next Thursday and stressing that she's going to judge me for not losing the weight after going through surgery and of course she's one of those who doesn't know the difference between a lap band and gastric bypass anyway! So that's my story and I also am on anti-depresssants and anti anxiety meds which toy with your metabolism and your hunger and I have an underactive thyroid but am on meds for that and have just had more blood work to see if I need to go back on my Metformin my GP took me off prior to surgery thinking I wouldn't need my diabetes meds becuse I would be cured by losing weight. I'm a 48 year old premenopausal woman who was fat all of her life except for the two times I lost 100 pounds but gained them back and then some. Plus have had two children, sure that has to be added to the pot! I know it sounds like a lot of excuses but I'm a fixer type personality, (alcoholic father) so when something is not working I try to find out why and fixing myself is the hardest thing ever!!!!!! Sometimes I do need a kick in the pants but also I still wonder if any of my other physical/emotional issues are keeping me from succeeding. Anyway I've told this story before and have totally lost most people because I've b:bored:red them to death! I don't know if this sounds similar to you or if you can think of why you're having probs or why I am but it's a good place to discuss and try to work out our issues because a lot of us for whatever reason are having them and if we all wanted gastric bypasses we probably could have had them but we wanted something easier and less traumatic on our bodies so we want it to work!!! Take care, Nancy and keep me posted about what you think about the situation.:welldoneclap:

That all makes sense to me and even though it's Mothers Day, I decided I was going to walk on the treadmill again. One thing it does do is keep me "regular", I know TMI. My daughter is getting gastric bypass surgery on the 27th and has been on her liquid diet for almost 4 weeks and had been watching the Food channel to compensate for lack of food and today made me home made crullers for Breakfast. So obviously I need to walk on the treadmill. They went down pretty easily, I think because they were home made, another story. Sorry to hear of the loss of your dad, I went through that myself two years ago and know how that can complicate how you take care of yourself for many many reasons. Everyone deals with grief and stress differently but it's never easy:sad_smile:. If I'm at a certain stress level I do well and then there's a different stress level where I totally bomb out! With WW I have the points in my head and probably because there's a fixed number and I go over it I feel like I'm totally screwed and probably am not but there's something about that number that messes with my head:mad: Anyway I'm going to try to follow the three meals and exercise and focus on more healthy and allow myself a treat now and again so I don't binge on the sugar stuff because I feel I'm in "starvation mode" or whatever. Anyway thanks for your support and sorry about your dad, brandyII. And that sugar issue was definitely not brought up to me!

I think if I lived in Australia I'd fry!!! I guess when you don't have rain/snow you miss it a bit but it's the same here you miss the dry, warm weather! You're better off, brandyII.

I'm not saying I never exercised, I just kind of gave up when it didn't seem to be making a difference in my weight loss. I was walking 45 minutes a day on the treadmill 5 to 6 days a week with no results except for thinner legs! I don't have high blood pressure and I know walking is good for me but I guess I just stopped for a while because I wasn't seeing any results was sort of in a "f it" kind of frame of mind. I do feel better when I exercise but just have given it up temporarily. I just can't put tooo much strain on my legs by running on the treadmill because I'm very upper body heavy at the moment. I'll get back to it, I've just been a bit down about it for little while that's all. I come from a pretty athletic family and have always been somewhat athletic growing up but still overweight. Back in the days when your mom kicked you out of the house and you'd ride your bike for hours! Plus you guys in Australia have nicer weather so you're more motivated to be out and exercising. I promise I'll get back on it, thanks Mom!

Thanks Fanny, It's good advice, sometimes harder than other times to deal with but I'm also feeling extra stress at the moment because my mother in law and brother in law are coming this Thursday and staying a week with us and I'm waiting on their judgment of me which I know I shouldn't but it's made me feel even more desperate. I was thinner the last time they saw me and that was before I even planned the surgery. I know it's silly but when I feel stressed about my weight I tend to screw up more! Any extra room out there in Australia for me for just a week? LOL, brandyII

Well you won the lottery, I'm not saying it's not helping at all at this point, could be worse. I just was only thinking it would cut down the portions I could eat but didn't realize there were a lot of foods I could still eat and without the "willpower" and I really hate that word, I'd fail. It was much easier to lose weight when I was in my 20s and the older I get the harder it is and I kind of have to deal with it now. Who knows maybe if I had known prior I still would have done it. thanks brandyII:mellow:

I have a brother that runs marathons and he's 5 years older and another that bike races, 6 years older. My body unfortunately was not built for running even when I was thin I did not make a good runner. I can walk on the treadmill that's about it but still it's difficult at my size to walk fast enough because like I said before I'm like a candy apple, skinny legs and large upper body. And don't tell me to go swimming I won't! Not with this body anyway. Thanks Nancy:ohmy:

Green, I wish I knew that 9 months ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too bad you can't write the brochure for the Lap Band company so everyone knows that info prior to surgery, brandyII.

Thanks Fanny, We don't have a lot of the types of drinks you guys have in Australia or Great Britain. I buy about 5 different British Home magazines every month at the book store so I know! I still have to talk to my sister because she stayed in Australia for about 10 days when her friend's husband was working there to ask her about "milo". I'm still trying and am familiar with most of those suggestions but for whatever reason it's been a real struggle for me but thanks for your support, Nancy.:thumbup:

We just got PF Changs up here about a year ago and I still haven't gone. I went to one once in MD and it was very "hip". Here when they open up a new chain it's always so swamped that it takes a year to let the novelty wear down so you can actually go. Muffins were the first bread-like item I tried after surgery and could eat part of the muffin top. Donuts wouldn't go down either, which is a good thing. Now that I've taken out half my fill I can eat some of the bread products that I used to not be able to eat but not a lot of it. Just a normal amount. But it's the other stuff that's still a prob for me like crispy or fatty or sugary non-doughy foods.

I guess "The Fritos Banditos" is out but the first one to come to mind! Nancy

I would but I keep forgetting them!:smile:

I was banded last summer in August. I can be full with just a small amount of protein but I end up eating the sugar/fat slider foods also to compensate for the lack of food I was taking in. I've gone through all the fill cycles, too much fill, not enough fill and unfortunately we're not all cut from the same cloth and I should have bought a different tool! brandyII

I do thanks. I just want to share my experience that seems to be a lot different from the people that have succeeded with the band to help me and others. As you can see there are a lot of us out there and we don't necessarily want to go through another surgery but get to the point where we can lose the weight or stop gaining the weight back. It's very difficult for many of us for so many reasons and if we knew the magic button it took we'd each buy one and push it, thanks brandyII

Hi Jasmine, I know it's really awful especially after you've gotten down so far and felt the "high" you get at being at that weight. Sometimes it's hard to know what weight you should be at, is it clothes size, scale number, how you feel, what. Then you get down low and it comes back again sometimes you know it's all coming back (the weight) and you don't know how to stop it! I remember the times when it started coming back on and I felt like it was a fricken train, I just knew it would all come back on and I couldn't stop it. You need to find out how to stop it from coming back. I think together we can support each other in many ways. Maybe talking with us can help you stop the weight come back even more and then turn it around again like I'm sure you want to! I know how embarrassing it is and sometimes feeling the pressure to lose or whatever makes you put it on and works against you. That's why we have to stop beating ourselves up and stop for a minute and try to figure out what it is that's making this happen to us. It's hard to figure out but I know I put so much pressure on myself that I end up sabotaging any efforts I make sometimes. Plus there maybe old messages you still have in your head that can do it too. We'll all try to support each other okay, we're not perfect and things go wrong and we don't always know why or can control it, keep in touch, Nancy.:smile: