brandyII

I've been quite the typist today so why stop now! I'll give you the information from Dr. Phil's website but I know there are tons of books out there on other methods other than spanking. I asked my 24 year old today after first reading some of the responses on this thread if she knew if any of her friends were spanked. And she said flat out no, and I asked her how would she know, maybe she wasn't around and she said they would have told her. She still hangs with girls she's been with since kindergarten. I hope I did a good job typing! These are from Dr. Phil's website: FIVE STEPS TO DISCIPLINING YOUR KIDS Do you need alternatives on how to get through to your children? Are you at the end of your rope? Dr. Phil offers Five Steps on How to Discipline Your Kids--without spanking. 1. Commit Yourself. It's crucial that your child knows that you're going to do what you say you will. If you explain what a punishment will be, and then don't act on it, you will have less credibility the next time. Make a commitment to your child's discipline, and be consistent in your behavior toward them. 2. Be Realistic in Your Expectations of Your Child. Don't ask you child to do anything he/she cannot do. Make sure that what you are asking of your child is a behavior within his or her reach -- if it's not, your child will get frustrated and be less likely to listen to you in the future. 3. Define Your Child's Currency. Find out what your child values -- it could be a toy, a particular activity, or even a privilege like getting to stay awake to a particular hour. Dr. Phil explains: "If you control the currency, you control the behavior that currency depends on." Once you understand what your child values, you can withdraw positive things (taking away the toy) or introduce negative tings (making them take a time-out) as a form of discipline. 4. Give Your Children Predictable Consequences. It's important for your child to understand that the same result will come from the same behavior. Make your child feel like he/she has control over their life. If your child behaves in "Way A." they need to be sure that they will always get "Consequence B." If he/she can count on the rules staying the same, they're more likely to abide by them. 5. Use Child-Level Logic. Explain your values in terms your child can understand. Take the time to explain the reasons behind why you are asking he/she to behave in certain ways - if your child understands the kinds of behavior you'd like them to avoid, they're more likely to apply that reasoning to different situations, instead of learning to stop one behavior at a time. There you go, I'm not trying to be condescending, really I'm not. I know this is my opinion and as I said before I'm probably the minority, well am the minority, but that doesn't mean that it's wrong, it's different and could be right who knows? I know raising kids is not the easiest thing in the world, trust me, I know but I also hate to see people spanking when it's really not necessary. Thanks brandyII:smile: Who knows maybe I'm annoying like this because I was spanked:biggrin:

Well I did happen to list some reasons previously in a post and I'll list them again for you. These were found on Dr. Phil's website but if you were to search the internet you could find a lot of material on the matter not just from Dr. Phil but I knew he was an advocate for not spanking children. You can search "The Natural Child Project" on spanking and it will bring up a whole lot of information that I don't think you're even ready for! Cons of Spanking: 1. Long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency. 2. Weaker associations for spanking such as a failure to learn right from wrong, subsequent criminal behavior, mental illness, and child or spouse abuse as adults have been suggested. 3. Physical punishment can send mixed messages to a child and reinforce aggressive behavior. When parents model aggressive behaviors by spanking, they reinforce the idea that physical aggression is the way to get what you want. 4. Spanking is associated with a poorer relationship between the parent and child. Children who were spanked feel less attached to their parents and less trusting of them. The more the child was spanked, the less close the parent/child relationship. Spanking your kids may work to suppress his or her bad behavior temporarily, but it isn't a learning type of discipline. The message they get from being spanked is "I'm a bad kid," which doesn't help your child figure out what he or she did wrong -- or how to keep from doing it again! There are also parenting classes which can teach you techniques other than spanking. But research the web there's so much information out there. Given the choice wouldn't you rather not hit your child and work it out in another way, be honest?

I believe spanking is abuse so I'm not insinuating anything. There are various degrees of abuse but it's really not a necessary form of punishment or discipline. You have other options. Did you know it's already illegal to spank children in the following countries, and forgive me if I missed any: Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Croatia, Cyprus, Latvia, Italy, Israel, Germany, and Austria?

My daughter loves House but I haven't been able to get into it. Nip/Tuck was pretty funny this past season with the TV show and all. I think if they do something to keep Meredith and McDreamy from each other next fall then we should start a writing campaign!:cursing: It's freakn torture!

Thanks KatW was starting to think I was the only one out there!!!:cool2:

Well then you and I can agree to disagree because I did see her as coming across very angry in her attempt to explain her need for spanking her children. I do believe that it is wrong to spank children, case closed, I've added some information as to why it is wrong in hopes that one person out there might change their mind and possibly put an end to it in their household. I can't help it if I am passionate about it, if you see this as condescending then there's not much I can do about it. It's a thread on spanking and I'm giving my opinion whether I'm in the minority or not! thanks brandy:smile:

I think if you go back and look at what Meatballsmom wrote it was a bit more caustic than anything I ever said. I believe violence begets violence that's all. We can all learn from our parents' mistakes if we choose to. I believe there are better ways of disciplining children, it may be a regional thing, who knows?:cool2:

I really don't care how many people agree with spanking on the poll actually. It's a debatable topic, it was not place by me and I'm just expressing my opinion. No need to get so angry!

Just curious, do any of you Grey's fans watch Nip/Tuck too?

I think it depends on the person and where they are in their life. When I first lost weight I was 19 and fittingly that was the best time to do it. Put it back on but the second time was right before my wedding, another good time. But I do notice a lot of people who get divorced tend to lose weight afterwards. Now I don't know if that would help my circumstances or not but I'm not willing to give it a try. My DH loves me just the way I am, a large crazy beeeach!:cool2:

Wouldn't you think if he was going to die in a car accident the final episode would have ended with McDreamy actually in the car and then the inevitable lights blaring and his arms covering his eyes? At least I'd hope so. In that case any of the characters could end up in car accidents on the way home as they were all leaving. Sorry, I think I'm getting too much into it! Now I have to wait until next fall that really sucks!!!

Well to quote Steve Martin "Well Excuuuuuse Me!" This was a thread about spanking was it not? Are we not aloud to give our opinions? Just because my opinion happens to be different does that mean I'm not allowed to give it? I may be the minority here but I still have the right to voice my opinion just as everyone else does. I've gotten plenty of opinions from people I did not like but this is the LBT Rants and Raves section on Spanking and so you have to expect a bit of debate. I think there are laws out there to protect children because unfortunately people have violated their own children or other people's children. So when it comes down to it your children have rights and one day your right to discipline through spanking maybe taken away from you as it has been in other places so don't be surprised. I firmly believe there are ways of disciplining a child without physically hitting them or emotionally abusing them. I don't expect to change everyone's mind on the matter but just to enlighten a bit. I'm not the biggest Dr. Phil fan but I'll leave you with some Cons of Spanking he has listed on his website for you to take into consideration. Cons of Spanking: 1. Long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency. 2. Weaker associations for spanking such as a failure to learn right from wrong, subsequent criminal behavior, mental illness, and child or spouse abuse as adults have been suggested. 3. Physical punishment can send mixed messages to a child and reinforce aggressive behavior. When parents model aggressive behaviors by spanking, they reinforce the idea that physical aggression is the way to get what you want. 4. Spanking is associated with a poorer relationship between the parent and child. Children who were spanked feel less attached to their parents and less trusting of them. The more the child was spanked, the less close the parent/child relationship. Spanking your kids may work to suppress his or her bad behavior temporarily, but it isn't a learning type of discipline. The message they get from being spanked is "I'm a bad kid," which doesn't help your child figure out what he or she did wrong -- or how to keep from doing it again! Wise remarks from a Texan, brandyII:smile:

Where are the statistics that all the people in prison were never beaten or disciplined by their parents? How do you know they weren't raised right. You have a child who you stated was stealing right before your eyes yet you are a corrections officer? I'm confused. I have a brother who works in maximum security prison as a counselor, I'll have to talk to him about this topic and get back to you afterwards. I don't beat/hit my animals and never beat/hit/spanked my children and they are now fine adults. I don't know why they're not in prison but they aren't.

Meatballsmom, I understand now, thanks, spanking your kids is the right thing to do! Gee, if only I could go back in time......

That's funny, six degrees, but they don't have lap bands I'm the only fat one in the family!:cool2:

Kate E, That's good to know, maybe if you don't have insurance they'll charge less. Some places will do that. OMG, I have one bro in Exton PA and one in Lincoln NE what a quinkydink!

Well it's not good to know but comforting to know that I'm not the only one! thanks brandyII.

My mother used to spank using her hand until once day my brother decided to put a plate in his pants:lol: After doing some damage to her hand I believe my mother chose the hairbrush for "us" girls and my father used "the belt" for the boys. Does anyone remember an old record of Bill Cosby when he spoke of his father beating them with the belt. It was pretty funny, I remember it as "the belt with HOOKS on it" or something like that. Go ahead beat your kids, they're your property:eek:

You must be new to this site:lol: I believe Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were Atheists.

I was just curious about why you had issues with Weight Watchers. You said you lost the same 5 or 10 pounds over and over again. I didn't know what was your issue. Just want you to be prepared for getting the lap band and make sure it's the right choice for you especially since you're self paying. It may look easy but it's not. They say it's only a tool, and I haven't seen anyone here tell you that yet but it's very true. I thought it was going to be my life saver because I had failed with diests my whole life and even if I was successful at losing I'd put it back on eventually and then some. It has been much harder for me than I ever thought it would be as a lot of foods will go right through the band like junk food and if that's a problem before the band it doesn't automatically go away. It's not just sugary drinks that go through so get as much info as you can and read the good along with the bad. It still takes much willpower once you've been banded and I've learned that the hard way! I have relatives in Lincoln. Good luck with making your decisions brandyII:smile:. PS also each fill can cost somewhere between $400-$500 each.

I realize many drugs are made for various uses and then found to be helpful in other areas but everyone is different and what may help one's anxiety may not help another's and may help with their depression instead. My daughter is on lexapro for her depression but it doesn't help her when she has a panic attack and she needs her lorazepam for that. Look at the diet drug Meridia which was first found to be an antidepressant and then found that it aided in weight loss and now is prescribed for that.

Dy'all want some sweet tea?

Thanks Baby Nicole, she/he's no bulldog but at least a real pet! brandyII.

Okay, I didn't cry but was worried someone was killed or something because of all the crying in the posts! Meredith finally wants to make a life with McDreamy and he goes off to tell Rose that they're going to break up before he sleeps with Meredith? Give me a break! You know that's just going to piss of Meredith again and she's going to throw all those candles and votives over the cliff! Give me a break McDreamy. Maybe now that McSteamy has "grown" Meredith should give him a try! If the start the next season is with those two broken up again I'm going to shoot my TV:scared2:!!!!!brandyII

Devana and BJean, These are just the types of people that have views on child rearing that really, really, really scare me. Just because you put out a book does not mean it's full of knowledge. Obviously these are some "crazy ass peeps"!:cool2: