brandyII

I know that a lot of threads go in cycles and looked back at one about anti-depressants from a few years ago from someone who suffered from bipolar disorder. I suffer from depression/anxiety. Anyone else having weight issues because they're on these types of meds. I've gone off them before when I wanted to take the diet pill Meridia and was put on Wellbutrin which did nothing to help my moods. I lost 20 pounds which was about the norm for that diet drug. My moods were so bad that I'm surprised my DH didn't leave, lol. Anyway I take Cymbalta as an antidepressant and clonazepam as an anti-anxiety med. It seems to me there are a variety of drugs in the same class but no matter what if they claim to not affect weight they always seem to with me and they always have sexual side effects. It's always been a factor when choosing the antidepressant for me is how it affects weight. Am I just special? LOL. Anyway if you've read any of my previous posts you know I've had a struggle and still trying to work things out. My sugar is high and I may have to go back on Metformin now and it just seems I can't tweak this damn band and I don't know if it possibly could be the drugs I'm taking are making me crave sugar or slowing down my metabolism. Anyway just thought I'd check out there if there's anyone else with this kind of prob, thanks, brandyII.

That's funny Fanny, the "naughty bench" I can't imagine you on the "naughty bench".

Actually I think it's for their own protection that the men have their own room, we women can get pretty darn scary sometimes!!!!

See Fanny, This is why I married an engineer, he can read me the directions and actually figure them out for me too! When it comes to patterns and such since I never actually took a class in sewing it can become mind blowing to me. I haven't sewn from a pattern since my girls were little but I did always attempt to make their Halloween costumes every year! brandyII And to quote the Scottish Inn Keeper from Little Britain Fanny, "you know, too much!"

I wish you luck! brandyII:smile:

I guess I don't react well to the phrase "it's not a diet but a way of life or a life change" I still have problems with that because it doesn't give specifics. Some people can say that but they're actually following a diet plan and they've been able to make it a part of their life their new way of life. Others cannot function that way so for me I need specifics. If I were to tell myself I have to follow A, B and C in order to lose weight I would do A and then say screw B and C goes down the toilet. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the only one who doesn't function well but when I'm told I can't eat chocolate today I will focus on how the hell I'm going to get chocolate. I know it sounds crazy but it's true. That's why for me right now I have to just accept myself as I am and see what beauty comes with it with out restricting myself. I am lucky to have a wonderful husband and children and some great siblings so a great life isn't that too far off.

froggi, girls post in the guys room all the time. It's a bold move but they do it! I guess I know because I've gone there.

You're lucky you were able to do that from the start with the band. I started out that way thinking I wouldn't need to "diet" because the band was going to restrict my intake of food but things didn't work out that way and now I've got to take control over my life in general and not focus so much on my band screw-ups and failures and just be happy as I am and hopefully get to a healthier place inside and out again!

I'm sure it's partly due to my personality flaws but the thought of a life coach scares the bejeebies out of me! I know what they are and serve a great purpose but I'm such a small step kind of person that if I jump into something major like a life coach it might send me off into the deep end. I know it's very anti-lap band but I've actually seen other books written by fat women on accepting their bodies. It's all relative, there are just as many thin women or "average" size women/men who still have body image issues but as a fat woman I was taught that it was not only unhealthy to be fat but I was not an acceptable human being in our society and in my own society. This self loathing spiraled into a major health crisis for me as I've yo yo'd dieted for almost 40 years and now have very little self worth or metabolism left. I'm only 48 and I don't want to live the rest of my life out feeling this way and so far I've found ways to mask it but not to actually fix it. Thanks though maybe I'd be ready to look at the website a little further down the road, thanks brandyII.

Jack recommended that book also I guess I should check it out. thanks brandy:smile: PS I just checked it out it seems like something that might interest me, thanks. I don't know why but I started thinking about the book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" It's not going to go over my head is it?

Molly, Are you saying that accepting yourself kept you fat longer? I think different people have different experiences with being fat. Some are completely negative and some are positive. I am a very sensitive person in general and every negative comment about my fatness I can probably count on both hands but they still haunt me no matter how long ago they were made. And I think fat is like money there's new money and old money and there's new fat and grew up fat. Although I grew up with a very negative self image because fat was so negative in my family and my surroundings that I told myself I would never put that on my own two children but they got it anyway because of my own self image was so poor because of my fatness not due to anything else. Ok, I always hated having curly hair, but other than that it was my whole persona. One daughter just had gastric bypass and the other lives her life to the fullest as a full figured young woman with a full life. Two totally different stories. I know neither is "happy" with being fat but one chose one route and the other chose another and has more self confidence, thank God! Don't mean to ramble on so much about it but it helps. thanks brandyII:smile:

I wish I could give you some advice, my doctor only asked me the things I've tried before. I didn't have documentation of going to WW or OA or anything that involved group meetings. It's pretty insane how drastic the requirements are for people. Do you have any co-morbs, that's usually what my insurance wanted. Diabetes II, BMI of 40, sleep apnea, any muscle or back issues, knees, anything physically that you have documented or could document. A lot of times I think it has something to do with the way the doctor words things also. Anyway I wish you luck and wish there was something I could do to help. You have as much right to be on this board as anyone does. I wish I had gone to this board prior to my surgery! Take care brandyII:smile:

I put too much pressure on myself and always have about dieting as it started when I was a little girl with my mother always hounding me about my food intake. I was the first girl after three older brothers and probably was competing for food at the table! Every time I have dieted I have screwed up my health mentally and physically. My self worth was based upon my size and my metabolism went down the toilet. I never had a legit doctor prescribe me diet pills "black beauties, yellow jackets", as there were always willing participants to take my money in college! I went to an amazing jr. college for a while and I remember there was a lounge area that the "partiers" hung out at and the college administrators walked by as we did all sorts of illegal substances out in the open, you name it I did it too, pretty amazing times back then. Anyway with the help of others (including professionals) I am trying to come to terms with this as this is my last hope? I attempted this same surgery, well actually it was to be an RNY, about 3 years ago and had to postpone it and after postponing it for family issues I actually started taking off weight and lost about 20 25 pounds, smallest I had been in years actually. I then said to myself hey maybe I don't need the surgery. Then much stress and every day occurrences happened as they normally do and it came back on, so 2 years later back in the surgeon's office. So as a person who grew up fat, and had lost 100+ lbs twice in her life and gained it back again I need to find inner peace to be happy with myself as a fat person because that's what I am. So whether I am able to lose it or not on the lap band I need to be happy with myself. This is so important because my weaknesses and personality and emotional makeup did not change as a thin person and kept going back to being fat. So by focusing on the diet and by freaking out about my fatness and hatred of my fatness and hating myself I was not able to lose weight and if did gained it back. If I can't love myself or be secure enough in my skin now I'll never get to a better place in my life. Does that make sense? Anyone else feel this way too or have been there besides Jack. And no I am not pmsing or drinking:wink2: brandyII

Don't feel bad, I would have no idea when shopping for clothing and get so screwed up when sewing anything with a pattern, I still have to figure out what "selvage" is. I went to an all girl prep school and home ec was not an option!

lilbit, I've had bad reactions with antidepressants before too and sometimes after being on them for a long time they're just not as effective. I've been on effexor before, I believe it was a time release one and it was okay but then I started having sleep issues, later found to have sleep apnea. Anyway after effexor I was on cymbalta for a few years and have been suffering from more depression due partially to my lack of progress on the lap band and now have been placed on pristiq which is probably in the same class of drugs. I don't feel that much different but it takes a while to get the full effect once the switch. Good luck and keep trying until you get the right drug for you! brandyII.

vegwannabie, I think you mean 80's chick but that's ok! take care brandyII.

Numbrgirl, It's funny how different people are especially when it comes to the band. I am the type of person that when I know I have to diet, which on the band I still have to diet I then become fixated on food. I become fixated because I know I'm only allow a certain amount, a certain type, and basically any rule that goes with the "tool". If you are not fixated on food anymore then this "tool" must be working for you in the correct way or maybe you are the correct person to use this tool. I tend to gain weight when I am fixated on food which happens during times of stress and also during times of diet which in itself can be a time of stress. I'm not attacking you by all means even though I have used bold and italics in my post. I'm basically commenting and relating my situation to you post. I'm kind of coming to terms with my own progress/failure/journey and I think the fact that I've yo yo'd for so long and my metabolism is so bad that I have to take into consideration the fact that I'm not doing myself any good anymore by this "dieting" and self hatred I've been doing since I've been banded.

Well you're lucky, I still need L.B. stores as they've been my refuge for many years. I'm bigger on top than bottom so it's always been hard for me to shop in regular stores. They told me to get a size smaller because of the spandex in them which I did and then the legs and butt weren't too big and the waist still fit, thank God! My daughter is 6 feet tall and it's nice that they have a good selection of tall clothes too. brandyII

I finally broke down and went back to Lane Bryant today to buy a pair of zipper jeans as I had gone up in size from my last pairs and refused to buy any hoping I'd lose weight and they'd fit again. Was wearing those pull up spandex jeans that you can buy at Penney's or Walmart. Lane Bryant has totally changed their sizes and styles of jeans since I previously had purchased the smaller ones. Anyway being an apple and always with the big waist and no butt or legs it sucks getting zipper jeans but now I'm a yellow, won't mention the number but it's bigger than a 5 and smaller than a 7 and we're not talking "juniors". Anyway they're more comfortable and always seemed to become too short on me anyway so I'm ok with breaking down and buying the bigger jeans especially since the numbers have chanced so I don't know if I'm a 24 or a 22 or what now. brandyII.:tongue2:

So we're not talking bad posture and back fat it's an actual lipoma? I don't know much about those but I do know that with my posture and my back and front top weight I've developed cervical arthritis which causes me pain and I end up going to PT for when I get the time. I'm assuming these are two totally different situations??? brandyII

Watcher, I know I don't think for most people but when I read I don't care what color, pink or poka dots or what religion or sex it sounds more like people just saying what they want you to hear, sometimes. After my daughter took a class on racism in America at her university it makes you question almost everything you say and think! What do you think will happen in the black community if B. Obama is elected? Positives? Negatives? I know it can't erase past slavery and oppression but what things do you think will change. My youngest brother's first born son is black and was adopted at birth, my niece lives with a black man and has a child by him as white people my family is fairly liberal and my eldest brother is a B. Obama delegate for his state. My husband on the other hand is more or less inclined to go the McCain route. I decide after debates on what to do and sometimes vote my conscious and sometimes vote my wallet. I'm just being honest. Just curious of your opinion of what changes may occur for the US black population if Barack Obama is elected president. brandyII, (born in Wash.D.C.)

I don't think it's controllable Froggi, I think they're probably just curious as we would be to peak into their room every once in a while although I doubt it's as exciting as it is here!!!! So maybe that's why. Just pretend they're not here, it's the best you can do! Maybe it gives them a little insight to the opposite sex and they use it as a learning tool.:cool2:brandyII.

Man, I hope I wasn't being subliminal or Freudian, maybe I was and just didn't know it!!! It's the new drugs, sorry!:thumbup:

cantweight2go, I got a fill today and I'm at 3 ccs now and I can drink without a problem. I don't know much about issues with blood in the urine and have never had that but I'd call the doctor on that one! Good luck brandyII, still awake on the East Coast....................

I have to admit that's a tough one BJean. brandyII. But I'm sure you have a good response that would make sense because you always do!