Kathleen jaggers
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Ok been afraid to write this for fear someone I know will see it. In 2 months it will be 2 years since my surgery. Gastric sleeve. Was about 325 at start. A jerk of a psychiatrist put me on crap loads of seroquel and I gained 80 lbs which got me over the 300 lb mark. Have been on disability for over 7 years for severe depression. Was in another state for 5 years taking care of my elderly mother because my 6 brothers and sisters who lived there wouldn't. I only went out of the house to go to therapist and psychiatrist. Besides my 3 month and 4 month stays at Columbia Nyspi. Had my surgery in ny. By a surgeon who was highly recommended by many. His groups were a joke. The nutritionist I was sent to was only interested in getting me qualified. About 4 months after surgery I told my surgeon I was binging and purging. His answer! " don't do that ". Spent 5 months in residential treatment center for depression and eating disorder. Still have both and am smoking again. I am a chef whose specialty is baking. I love it and it's so a part of me. My mom passed 13 months ago and I am back home. I got a rescue puppy who helps me a lot. I don't want to eat anything then I want to eat everything. Then it hurts and I purge. I am so afraid I am going to rip my staples out. I started walking and was up to 5-6 miles every morning. 2 hours. I am now wearing a cam boot and using a walker. I have 2 stress fractures in my foot from walking. I am and have been a waterholic. I drink about 2 quarts just through the night. I have a gallon jug and a 2 quart jug next to my bed. Some of which I use for my cpap but most I drink. I try not to drink after I eat but I never make it an hour. Crap, I know I need help but don't know how to find who I need. Hard enough to find a regular psychiatrist and therapist never mind someone who deals with what I am going through. I am scared, disappointed in myself and don't know where to turn. Anyone else want to out themselves or have any ideas? Sorry this is so long but I had to say it some how.
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Kathleen, I too am sorry for everything you have endured. I have not yet had surgery, so I cannot speak to that, but I also have depression and have dealt with binge eating disorder since I was 11 (now 43). As Clementine said, cognitive behavioral therapy is helpful for many. I personally am drawn to mindfulness therapies, and dialectical behavior therapy is a good combination of CBT and mindfulness that has been shown to be effective in treating eating disorders. I also recently bought a workbook on mindfulness and eating for people who have had or are considering bariatric surgery by Michelle May. I wonder if a nutritionist who specializes in eating disorders might be the most helpful?
I hope you have a good evening and can spend time cuddling with your puppy.
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Clementine Sky reacted to this
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Kathleen, there is no doubt that you need help and are having a very tough time receiving it. First I must say you are a truly strong woman to have endured so much and here you are seeking guidance. Is the place you chose a Center of Excellence? I know you've already had surgery but many times finding the right bariatric doctor happens after surgery. There is nothing that says you can't do some research and find someone who does better with aftercare. They may be able to get you in touch with good counseling. Also, an in person support group may be a better option for you. I know being able to have people come along side you may be a better fit.
Thinking of you
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Thank you all for your input. Actually didn't know how to get back to this page. Have tried dbt and cbt. Just a bunch of words to me. I want to look for a Bariatric nutritionist but just can't seem to do it. Weaning off the cam boot now. Hopefully I will be walking again in a few weeks. I know they won't let me walk 5 miles for awhile though. New psychiatrist was totally off the wall. Never talked to a worse one. Had appt with new one in same office today but have a bad cold. Next appt October 31. Hanging in there Totally addicted to carbs. Can't stop making bread and baking whatever I want. I am a chef. Speciality is baking. Not good when you are craving. Got a book bright line eating. Gonna try it. No sugar flour wheat artificial sweeteners. Don't know if I can handle withdrawals or not. No support really. But gonna try. Know I always feel better without sugar flour and wheat. Thanks again
