DedicatedLady

I watched this video yesterday and I am so happy it did, it sure made me smile. Its a good watch if you've got the time.

Eureka!! My most delicious smoothie yet!

I finally took the time to slowly go around the grocery store (and I mean slowly) and look for new things I could incorporate into my protein smoothies to jazz things up. I tend to avoid sugar substitutes if possible, which has eliminated the option of juice squeeze things and most things labeled "sugar-free" anyways,including jello,popsicles,gum etc..  I found some promising new ingredients. I picked up some good finds (in my opinion). I got Matcha green tea powder with ginger, pumpkin pie spice (if your store doesn't have this premade its pretty much cinnamon,ginger,clove,nutmeg.super easy to make), imitation caramel extract, imitation coconut extract, and organic vanilla extract. 

So onto my smoothie, it contains the following (as I stare at it lovingly) :

-1  cup unsweetened cashew milk

-1 cup water/with a handful of ice

-1 scoop Vitaleph Vanilla protein mix

-A splash of caramel extract

-A dash of Vanilla extract

-Pumpkin Pie Spice

I blended it all together, poured it into a giant cup and am happily drinking so far the best protein smoothie I've had. Also looking forward to tomorrows chocolate protein,espresso, and coconut breakfast smoothie. Fingers crossed it does the trick

Offically Day 16 of of pre-op diet. Yesterday started phase 2 which is 3-4 shakes a day plus green leafy veg and sugar free jello. I didn't like pre-made jello to start, not surprisingly it still tastes like someone poured water on a dirty carpet, squeezed it out into a jello mold with food coloring and called it "edible".. So yesterday,  I made it officially 17Hrs on my SUPER exciting selection of either vanilla or chocolate shakes before I said f**k it, I got home from work (still carrying around my half a lunch shake) and ate a miniature handful of trail mix, and a rather large piece of very dark chocolate. Actual chocolate!  For the record, I regret nothing.

(I made my dinner shake at the same time, surprise I went with 'chocolate' flavor, and I use that term loosely, as the shake mix should come with a label that states it is only brown in color, and is not flavored like, nor associated with ACTUAL chocolate. Kind of like a 'no real chocolate was harmed in the making of this bubbely swill we call a shake'.  17 hrs before I was tired of them plain. Its time to start getting creative with my recipes, sweet   Hmmm no wonder you lose weight, the food is awful hahaha

I googled and pinterested(<--that's not a real word) recipes for Bariatric patients Post Op, and good lord there are some incredible looking things on there. I will note though that to replace grains there's a strong emphasis on just using cheese instead. I'm not a nutritionist or anything but I've flipped over a package of cheese once or twice in my life and happen to know that it is high as a kite in fat. Then again when you're making food porn, obviously more cheese looks better. Anyways, its Thursday and I need to go make cheques (<--btw the spell check for this is "squelches",wonderful..

Moving that scale down one day at a time.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
-Dolly Parton  

I check my own ticker to remind myself how close my surgery is, because it seems sort of surreal, especially how fast time is going...Is that weird?

I'm grateful for two things that I was reminded of last night. The first one is that I have this 4 week pre op diet to prepare for whats next, because it caused me to stop and think about why I eat in the patterns I do, and to try and change it. For example, I was standing in the kitchen having coffee with my fiance last weekend and told him (it was about noon) that because I know we have cookies in one cupboard, normally I would have had cookies with my coffee, and then perhaps another coffee so I could have more cookies.. Not that I need them, but just because they are there and I know that. I said normally the cheezies in the other cupboard I would have had as a mid day snack simply because they are there and its a treat. In neither of those situations would I have been hungry and eating to satiate myself. I would consider myself a "convenient grazer", I wouldn't go into the kitchen to cook for one person, but if there was crackers and cheese I'd eat it, just 'cause. If there was chips, cookies, crackers, beef jerky etc, I'd eat them because I have an addiction (the realization of that is my second epiphany for the week, continuing on....). He is so very helpful. Even apologizes when we hosted fathers day dinner because I had so few options, and went as far as to offer to steam me some vegetables so I had more to eat. I politely declined, because I am getting better and better at saying no to food.

The minute I was given a surgery date and put on Atkins, I started eating like I had just had surgery. Small plates, small portions,the effort to cook vegetables for myself, staying out of the kitchen, drinking a lot of water. I've tried very hard to stay in the mindset that this is real, there is no turning back, and I will absolutely be successful for the rest of my life. Being forced to go on a diet pre op has opened my eyes to how much time I spent eating, and why, and a realistic understanding of how much I was eating. When its a day of grazing, plus one meal (that I got very bad at eating close to bed time) it no wonder to me how I got to be this big.  I got all of my ducks in a row when it came to organizing the procedure, now I just need to make sure I stay on track. In 3 days I go from Atkins to 3 Vitaleph shakes a day (plus leafy green and SF popsicles/SF jello.. blech for aspartame) and my supplements. Its becoming very real and my nervousness is melting away, while my excitement grows stronger. Goodbye self-doubting Raquel, hello confident beautiful dedicated Raquel.