DianeJarrett

I get it. At 250-275, I was the first one laid off from companies during my career. I couldn't get a job for the 18 months I was laid off. But now I'm a size 10, very petite and tiny even for a size 10 (they can't see my extra belly skin) and everyone wants me. I got a great contract role and I'm looking at great full time roles. People see me as capable and intelligent, things I were before, but now I'm in a tiny little package they love. It's terrible. I'm happy for myself and I think these people suck.

Ladies, I mightily admire you for embracing your extra skin. I think that is fantastic. But I am not in your head space at all. I just had a big breakup with my guy and I will, someday, be showing this body (hopefully) to someone else. I don't want them to see my boobs down to my knees and my stomach too. My arms and legs, I'm hoping I can fix, and my booty too. I will eventually get boobs lifted and the tummy tucked, I know that. I have to do that for me. I am not as confident as you both are without it. Has anyone else gotten their arms, legs and booty back?

I'm 7 months past my surgery date, and I've lost 80 pounds. I am a solid size 10, but I would honestly be a size 8 if I didn't have a ton of skin on my belly. I have some around my thighs, arms too, but not as bad as my belly. I know I will have to lose about 20 more pounds in order to get skin surgery and my boobs lifted and I'm okay with that. I know it will be a process. But my arms, inner thighs and my booty! I have no booty any longer. None. I'm in the gym daily doing squats with weights and walking on that damn stair mill. Ugh! And I'm lifting weights, working on my inner thighs with all kinds of torture machines. It's hell. My tummy will shrink more, after 20 or 30 more lbs and I know surgery is inevitable there, but does anyone have any booty, arms or thighs/legs success stories? I'd love some encouragement. Thanks!!

Thanks. I appreciate that.

I got a hair cut too, I layered my hair and it made a difference. Trust your stylist and also, if you are graying like me, keep your roots colored. The gray makes the thinning more noticeable.

Hi everyone! Here's a new twist on an old subject matter - a bad breakup. I was happy, healthy, losing weight and working out. I had lost a solid 67 lbs since my June 14 surgery, had a great boyfriend and was really doing well. Then, on December 26, my BF and I broke up. It was sudden and I was absolutely blindsided. I moved out of his apartment and moved in with my bestie and her husband in CT, away from my job (which I lost), my neighborhood, everything that I know. The old Diane would be drowning her sorrows in Ben and Jerry's, crying and eating. The new Diane? She can't do that. She can't even eat ice cream because post surgery, she is lactose intolerant. She can't eat chips and dip, or go to McDonalds and get fries and a shake, she can't eat a lot of sweets, she can't drown her sorrows in food, she can't eat her emotions. And, she can't drink alcohol, because she's a freaking lightweight again, like a 14 year old girl at her first kegger. Damn it. But here's the good thing - the new Diane went to the gym and decided to get serious about working out. She is pushing herself harder than ever. She goes for an hour a day and REALLY works out, climbs the Stair Mill, takes a class, does 200 squats in the evening, does a lot of cardio. Why? Because she's in pain and needs to channel that pain somehow and also because SHE CANNOT EAT HER FEELINGS. Why am I telling you this? Because I want you all to know how your relationship with food will change once you have this surgery. You learn to channel your emotions differently, you learn that food is not always the answer, you learn that alcohol won't solve your problems. Food and drink change post surgery. You have to learn to deal with your emotions instead of running to your comfort food or drink. And it sucks. It sucks big time. Instead of gaining the post breakup 10 lbs that I normally do, I've lost 10 pounds. Maybe too much for me to lose in a couple of weeks. I had no appetite and I struggled to eat. But better to lose than to gain, to overeat, to push my stomach to full over and over again. I couldn't do it. So I'm now 20 lbs to goal instead of 30, and I've lost 218 lbs too (that's how much my BF weighed). He was a good guy and I will miss him, but things happen for a reason. And this was a good lesson for me to learn.. how to deal with strong emotions without the comfort of food. I think we all know that food isn't always our friend. We need it, but we don't need to be dependent upon it to get through some tough times. I am still crushed and hurt, and I miss him, but I really don't miss the food hangover that goes along with a bad breakup. Silver linings....

For some of us, it's just going to happen. Keep taking your vitamins, your biotin and wait it out. It stops. My hair loss was about 30-40%. Now it is growing back, and I have so much short baby hair around the top of my head. It's kind of crazy. But it will grow back, never fear.

But you are!!! I'm sure of it! It's the hardest thing to do, change our mindset. Hardest for me too!!

Stop. Stop doing that! Wear the size clothes you should be wearing, the size that fits. That's a solution we do as plus-sized girls to hide our curves. We shouldn't do it. I have so many people pushing me to wear clothes that fit. It's hard to do, but we must. The toughest day of my life was wearing a shirt that fit me perfectly, and showed my (smaller) tummy. I thought I looked like crap but never had more compliments than that day. We gotta do it! I'm sure you look amazing!!

I think our biggest issue post surgery is body dysmorphia. When we are heavier, we are in denial that we are as heavy as we are... somehow, until we look in a mirror the wrong way or in a reflection or picture, we see ourselves as just a little bit thinner than we truly are, in reality. But now, it is exactly opposite. We look in a mirror and see that heavy person at their heaviest. Sure, we see the thinner person looking back in the mirror, but not really. We can't see what others see and that's why our bodies feel so weird and alien to us . The bones touching, the lack of heat between our thighs as we walk, the boniness of our shoulders, elbows, wrists and feet! To us, we still don't see it, we live in a thinner body but our psyche is still plus-sized! And it is so hard to cope! We comforted ourselves with food when we were heavier but our comforting and coping mechanisms have all changed and that's hard too. Talking to our friends and family is really no use, they just say "you look great" and "don't you see how thin you have become" and that's nice, but it's not what we want or really need. We truly want to parse out our emotions down to the detail. We miss our heavier selves, we really do. Not the weight, actually, but the comfort of knowing WHO you were in that body. Now we have to redefine ourselves as thinner people. How do we do that? This site helps but it would be great to have a live, in person group too, so we could talk about it ad nauseum (not type) and it help us settle down. I'm kind of thinking of starting a group, or maybe even a Google Hangout video session. It would help me too. (Sorry, I used to be a psychologist and that weird crazy part of my brain took over.)

And I'm the same weight and height. I may be 1/2 inch taller than you. I guess I just carry my weight different. 180 lbs, 5'2 1/2", size 10 up top, 12 on the bottom.

I get it, I'm 5'2" too. I'm still obese. I'm looking forward to the day I cross the "overweight " mark. LOL Hey, we all have the same path to follow... From your starting weight to your current weight, it's a huge jump! Congrats!

My wrists! Yes! I remember I could never buy jewelry or watches because I was so "big boned!" Come to find out, I was just fat. LOL They are so think and the bone sticking out of my wrist?? Where has that been all this time? Alien is a great word! You nailed that. I looked in the mirror yesterday at my shoulders and arm... I still see arm fat, mostly, but the shoulders looked so bloody thin to me. It truly felt weird. Glad to see I'm not the only one. I'm not ungrateful, it's just so freaking weird, right?

Um...no! 14 is actually the national average! Plus sized in stores, sure, but the smallest plus size you can go (although Torrid goes down to a size 10, AS IF that is plus sized - maybe they think you are on your way UP instead of down?) I always think of size 14 as on the cusp of plus-sized... 16, to me, is where you can no longer shop on the 3rd floor of Macy's in Herald Square and that, to me, is the kicker. LOL 14 is great! When I was a size 24, 14 was my goal! Yay for you!

yay for the slowing down! I'm hoping mine slows down too. It is alarming.