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Thanks James, thoughtful advice as ever.

I've noticed that no other members of the animal kingdom read or write either. From your logic I assume you will be refraining from these activities too.

I'm consigning them to history. My Dad was a baker so this is a challenge but I know bread is a very particular weakness of mine, I mean when I've travelled round the world I have asked to go into the back of bakeries! Adios doughboy!

Hi, I'm just cooking and freezing purees right now. My nutritionist basically said if you can puree it it's fine. I'm trying to make things as nutrient rich as possible - using organic beef, fish and chicken (plus homemade broth of each) and cooking with lots of vegetables. So far I'm using (and apologies, I'm in the UK and I know we call vegetables different things): Onions Peppers/Capsicum Garlic Courgette/Zucchini Tomatoes (sieved) Mushrooms Fennel Carrots Squash Butter beans Green beans The purees I'm making are very fine textured and while I cook with a wide variety of herbs and spices I'm careful not to use anything that has hard seeds (so no fennel or caraway seeds and sieving the tomatoes) as I imagine that could be an irritant at the healing stage. My philosophy on all of this is that, if I'm eating very small amounts of things they should be bloody tasty and good for me!

Hi Laura, I'm not on a liquid diet an day Op is on 12th July. The diet I am on is quite precise and very low fat and low carb - I'm eating a lot of fish, chicken and fresh vegetables. It;s making me more mindful of what I eat and I'm sure that will come in handy. There seems to be a massive variation in Pre-Op diets. I can see why the liquid diet is used, I guess it's pretty black or white whether you follow it or not and that's probably helpful for people who, like all of us, have had issues with what we put in our bodies. I'm in the UK and from what I see it's less prevalent here, I would think that from any nutritional or physiological point of view that, if you were consuming the same calories and very little sugar or fat, there would be no difference in the effect on your liver.

The day before me Geets, good luck. I'm finding the diet is fine, it makes you quite mindful about what you eat and I think that's a skill that will come in handy.

From the discussions I had with my nutritionist you just need some decent, run of the mill A to Z chewable one a day vitamins (which I'll take two a day). I would be very sceptical about some of these 'bariatric' products. There's nothing special about them, from looking at ingredients they are often everyday items rebadged. They charge more because they know we're worried and need reassurance... so they can get away with it. I got a great deal on Centrum on Amazon here (in the U.K.) but my nutritionist also recommended some supermarket own label.

I'm due in in 12th July and started my pre-op diet a few days early. I think I'm comparatively lucky as it's all real food, albeit very low in carbs, calories and fat. I'm finding motivation comes easily. Knowing that the pre-op diet reduces chances of complications focussed the mind for me.

There appears to be enormous variation in pre-op diets and regimes. I read about people's liquid diets and then look at my program, which is all real food (albeit very low calorie/ low carb/ sugar/ fat). Clearly there is an end point, which is to reduce the fat layer encasing your liver to enable access to your stomach for surgery, but many different paths. I think you have to trust your medical practitioners. Their experience is far greater than any individual here.

Interesting. I'm two weeks pre-op and it's too early for me to say. I think it's hard to set a goal based purely on weight or BMI, no matter how high or low. I can easily visualise how I want to look but I don't know what that is in kilos or pounds. I think doctors will always set expectations at lower weight loss levels. If clinical evidence suggests you lose,say, 70% of excess weight then that explains why their figure will always nudge higher. In truth there's likely to be a significant distribution of results either side of that number and given the complexity of the success factors they're safer predicting the average. I want my shoulders and my V shape back and to look good in particular clothes. I want to be able to mountain bike 20 or 30 miles and love it again. I want chafed thighs to be a thing if the past and to reacquaint myself and my wife with my penis. Those are targets that I can get my head round. All that said my gut feel is to go hard for 'normal'!

I'm having surgery in two weeks, so just starting my diet and, whilst I can't claim to be an expert in WLS, I know more than a little about behavioural psychology. Given that we are all, or have been, overweight enough to have undergone surgery it's pretty fair to assume that our relationship with food has been such that it has allowed us to gain and maintain significant weight. Everyone will have their own reasons for this, physiological or psychological, most likely a combination of the two. If we think about our operations as a physical reset, where for a period we are forced to consume only limited amounts of food, then we also need corresponding mental resets. Weighing food has a functional, physical benefit, perhaps more importantly it can help us psychologically. Weighing food can make us more mindful of our intake. Most of the time our brains work subconsciously, we're not 'thinking' we're making decisions based on habit, instinct and deep seated biases. When those aren't working for us we need to challenge them. Weighing food can help make deep links between our actions and their consequences, hopefully this will eventually start to challenge our habitual or comfort seeking impulses. There are awful lot of people who 'know' a lot about nutrition or habit but are still overweight. The weighing, amongst other things, isn't about knowledge it's about training our minds to take and support decisions tat are better for us. That's a lot harder but it's how you change long term behaviour.

So, today it feels real. I had my nutritionist meeting yesterday and, after a few weeks of everything feeling rather abstract I now feel like the ride has started. My surgery is on the 12th of July and I start my strict pre-op diet on the 28th of June, those are nice small tangible steps. I've started to make some changes already and happily I've lost 4kg in the last couple of weeks, with a little luck and a pre-op diet I should be below 50BMI before the op. Whilst that will save me some money the real plus will be the sense of direction and achievement it's given me. I feel like I'm in a good place, not quite zen like but still relaxed and positive. I've had a couple of sessions with a therapist who I've found, I want to work on my emotional resilience before all these changes begin. Some of what we talk about is challenging but given the other changes (I only moved back to the UK, after 14 years in Australia, in October) that's good. The surgery feels like a circuit breaker, but it's going to be a job if work to get all of the benefits. My wife could not be more supportive and my five (and a half) year old is happy someone is helping 'Daddy get a smaller tummy'. So let the journey begin!

Thanks Rudy, looking forward to when I stop looking like the guy in the middle again!

Good luck Kazzy, will be thinking of you!

Thanks mate!

There's a number of issues that are bundled together here. Firstly the carbonation seems obvious, sleeved or bypassed we've done something radical to our digestive pathway and the addition of that carbonation is going to complicate our, now more delicate, digestive systems. The 'diet drinks' issue is another. There is a growing body of research that suggests that aspartame, one of the main chemical sweeteners used in diet soda, could actually inhibit weight loss as it has a particular effect on gut enzymes. Other studies suggest that it continues to trigger the pleasure centres of the brain that are fired by sugar - thus ensuring we stay addicted to sugar. It, of course, wouldn't be the first time big business has sold us something that's both addictive and doesn't actually solve the problems it purports to. I'm trying to look ahead to the changes I need to make to get the most out of my bypass. I don't like diet colas anyway so that's not an issue. It does strike me that getting off these 'diet' solutions - and if they were all so effective we wouldn't be on this WLS forum - can only be a good thing. I love naturally sparkling mineral water, but given that I want this to work I think going still is a small sacrifice to make. Then again, I will miss champagne though.

This is really interesting. I'm three weeks away from my bypass and was chatting to my nutritionist about my expectations and hopes for weight loss. In all honesty I couldn't say. A number feels terribly arbitrary and not very helpful. A big motivation for me is to be able to play and run about more with my five year old as he grows up. My weight gain really curtailed my physical activity and now I'm so keen to live more of my life outdoors that, for me, success will feel like being able to cycle and climb hills without wheezing and sweating (actually walking up stairs without wheezing and sweating would be a good start). Beyond that my self image is important, but I have no idea what weight corresponds to when I look great again. Watching the numbers is clearly invaluable in terms of what you eat and how much exercise you do - but when you use numbers as your sole measure of success I imagine there's a danger you disappoint yourself even when your achievements are immense.

This is an interesting topic. I'm having bypass in 3 weeks and in the last six months (since I have moved back to the UK from Australia) I have really sensed that I'm discriminated against thanks to my weight and image. I gained a lot of weight over the last 5 years (having a non-sleeping baby started it!) and went from happily overweight to constantly ill and highly restricted. In that period I've noticed people's attitudes toward me change markedly. I work in the quite image conscious world of advertising and design. Before I left Australia I was Managing Director of a company and, I don't have to be modest here, have a pretty impressive resume. I've had interviews since then and, this has knocked my confidence badly, I know people are thinking 'he doesn't look like us' and 'he doesn't have the image we want to present to the world'. It's sapped my confidence and acted as a catalyst for getting on this train. I'm not sure about a dream job now. I'm lucky enough to have a supportive wife and enough cash in the bank to take a few months off (after selling our house in Sydney). I'm giving myself some time to work on my health an happiness, have and recover from my operation and to properly spend time on researching and writing a novel. It's good to hear that some of you chaps have found that your successful weight loss has also led to better work situations. It's bloody sad that we live in a world where that isn't a surprise but given what we've gone through and the efforts we make it's about time someone got a break!

Full of typos. Fat fingers.

Dear Amethyst, Don't beat yourself up. Your body has gone through massive physical trauma and you will have undergone significant hormonal changes - depression is a perfectly natural response - and a side effect you can overcome. If you can find a therapist - someone who specialises in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) should be really useful if you need help with the choices you are making. Little Lizxie's advice is good to, sunlight and exercise have positive physiological effects that will help boost your mood. But it's really important not to feel guilty. You've been brace and honest and there are an awful lot of people like you who have the same anxieties and feelings - they just haven't shared them. Good luck, get some help to make some positive changes and try to think of this as part of the journey.

Yep, that's the way to respond to someone who's suffering from depression. Classy and empathetic.

Hey Philly, Good for you! I'm July 12th and a lot of questions like 'who do I tell' are going through my head too. I think it's best not to worry too much about the things we can't control - like how other people will react - there are dozens of small practical things to consider so I'm just focussing on those. Good luck with the operation - hope to hear how well you're doing soon! J

It's my first time here and I decided to join because the warmth and candour of your discussions is genuinely inspirational. I'm a little bit overwhelmed by the prospect of going under the knife in six weeks. I can't wait but nevertheless the prospect has stirred up all sorts of emotions - from fear to odd things like the anxiety about telling my five (he would correct me and say 'five and a half') year old son that his Dad is going into hospital. Everything seems scarily abstract and I'm imagining a lot about what could go wrong. I see the dietitian in nine days, so I suppose that will help me feel that this is more real - tangible is good for my sense of control. In the meantime I wonder do you have any tips? How did you prepare? What's the right mindset to go in with? How did you feel about the surgery before it happened? Thanks in advance, Jx

I'm in on 12th of July - I really can't wait, even with the nerves!

Thanks James, I can see the wisdom in all three.