I am new here, too. I am planning on having surgery in July or August, too, but Dr. Illan in Tijuana. The sooner the better but I am having difficulty scheduling around six family weddings this summer. SIX?!
I have told my husband, my mother, my oldest daughter, a very good friend from high school who had RNY in December of 2015 and actually her progress was a factor in my decision and a very close friend.
I maintained my weight at the high end of normal (but I'm also VERY muscular always ranking in the 95th percentile for muscle by age and gender) throughout all three pregnancies and into my late 30's, but I've always had to work at it, at least since high school. But job and lifestyle changes contributed to my packing on 10 lbs per year from 2004 to 2012. My highest weight has been 240 and I've hit that 3 times, but I'm usually around 220. But I have to eat lean protein, veggies one serving of fruit and nearly no grain at all to maintain that. Going below to my lowest weight since I started losing the battle, 207, requires nearly a full time commitment of measuring everything I consume and hellish amounts of exercise. Anyone who knows me knows I HAVE tried.
I don't have the comorbitities - yet- but I'm pretty sure that's just a matter of time if I don't get this weight off.
My husband has never complained about my weight gain, but I'm sure he's not happy about it. He weighs within a few pounds of what he weighed when we got married in 1989. He just said that if this surgery will make me happier then he's in full support although he's less than enthusiastic about possible moodiness and hair loss, but still willing to take it in stride and with humor.
My mom, whose going to accompany me, is very supportive. I get my ridiculously efficient metabolism from her. She spent a good portion of the 60's and 70's eating no more than 700 calories a day just to maintain her size 6 figure. Of course a size 6 then was waaaay smaller than a modern size 6. She and I are both convinced that the malabsorbtion is necessary for massive weight loss with my genetics.
My oldest daughter was also supportive and realizes that I've been putting in a lot of effort with very little to show for it for years. I wasn't really even ready to tell my adult children, though I will tell the other two. But she's pregnant with her first baby and I'm so concerned that she's started down the road to obesity, eating burgers, fries and ice cream in the first trimester. I wanted her to keep in mind the possible consequences of relaxing her guard so much.
Telling my high school friend was probably a big mistake if I don't want my WLS to be common knowledge, at least in my hometown of 5500 people. I didn't tell her not to mention it, and she's at the center of pretty much every civic group and charity in the area. And she mentioned two other classmates who are planning WLS this year, too. Not to be gossipy, but to make me feel better about my own struggle....I don't really plan on keeping it a state secret, but I also wish I hadn't mentioned it. I don't know why I care, but I do.
My other friend was also supportive. But I almost wish I hadn't told her. She was in a very bad car accident a few years ago and gained a lot of weight during her recovery. She's still not well but has lost nearly 80 lbs mostly because she can't keep her food down but also with some help from Metformin. Unfortunately, that 80 lbs. puts her current weight roughly equal to mine; similar numbers but she's 2 inches taller and I am much more muscular. After I told her, she was very supportive because that's the kind of person she is. But I wonder if I sent the message that 220-230 is just not good enough. And 220 is pretty impressive compared to 300 in one year without any surgery. I feel badly about that!
I don't want to tell my sister but that's not something I'd keep from her either. She's thinner than I am, naturally, and that's always kind of been her thing. Not that we're competitive, but really that's the one part of life where she's had it easier than me. My husband, finances, kids, etc. have always been drama-free. Her's haven't.
My other person I would LIKE to tell I can't really have a deep discussion with right now. Oddly, my high school boyfriend is one of my very best friends. My husband is fine with that and knows he has nothing to worry about, but my friend has recently met someone and it's looking pretty serious so far. Most people are not nearly as confident and trusting as my husband, so I tend to stay far more distant until his relationships are more established. But I'm truly feeling the loss at the moment.
As far as your age, all I can contribute is that I'm sorry I've spent the last decade of my life dodging cameras and not being comfortable in my own skin. Congratulations on figuring out this is for you now!
Sorry I lack brevity!
