billfresh

BRAVO! BRAVO! (clapping, bowing, clapping some more)

what is this? dead poet's society?? i officially feel like a dumbass after reading this. :w00t:

sorry to disagree with you but you can't "forget about all that hormone stuff". being tired or in mild pain from obesity is a valid point but does not explain a total, complete lack of any sex drive. even an old, worn out stallion dreams of running fast occasionally. plus you are only 30yrs old. lady never stated her hubby's age but once you get over 40 a lot of biological issues start to arise that can account for the problems she stated. i also think this is the perfect forum to ask these questions. want to know possible reasons an obese husband does not whave an interest in sex? ask a forum full of obese guys. she wants information, not hook ups and asked her question as honestly as she could. if she was getting answers from him she wouldn't be asking here. i stand by earlier advice. discuss with hubby, schedule a complete physical, talk to the doctor.

ok, let me take a crack at this...i have a couple thoughts for you. i am a guy, 45yrs old, banded, 5" 10" 250lbs. a year ago i went to my annual physical that i get every 3 or 4 yrs. asked my dr if he should check my testoterone levels in my blood work. that i was concerned due to certain performance issues. his reply was great. keep in mind that he is also a friend of mine personally, not just my PCP so he is pretty open. he asked me to pretend we were talking about excavating. did i still have the desire to "dig a hole". i kinda looked at him funny and he said, "you know...when you see that fresh piece of dirt laying there in front of you, do you still have the desire to get into the backhoe and dig that hole?" i said ,"well yeah but the backhoe boom doesn't reach as far as it used to and i can't dig nearly as deep as i think i could in the past. Also, once i dig that 1st hole, no matter how shallow, i gotta let the backhoe rest. It won't handle digging 2 holes 1 right after the other. In fact if i try for to long to dig the same hole she just might overheat and shut down completely and i'm stuck with a 1/2 dug hole." we laughed about all that but he said basically that as long as a man has the desire to "dig a hole" his testosterone levels are fine. when he no longer wants to dig, then he should get his levels checked. he said some men have naturally low levels of testosterone. most men will see a decrease in these levels as they age and he felt that over weight men were more prone to this reduction than normal weight men. if your hubby's levels are low, it is an easy fix and the results are immediate. obviously there could be other factors at work here. obesity causes HBP, diabetes, ect. all of these can be adding to his low sex drive. when was his last physical? you should start there, and not just for sex drive reasons. he needs to want to address these issues so you need to somehow get him to the dr. if he does not want to go then i don't know what to tell you. all men want to please their partners so maybe approach that angle, delicately. i will be honest, it took me a year to talk to my dr. about this and we are friends. it isn't easy for a guy to admit that his willy ain't working right. oh, and my dr. said the issues i was having were all normal. that my backhoe wasn't 20yrs old anymore. it needed more rest and maintanence than before. he told me to try digging quality, well groomed holes instead of trying to dig caves all night. he was right and as i lose weight the boom is working a little better as well. good luck

well in another honest opinion, if you found this thread offensive, change the channel. there are a whole lot of other threads in the mens room to read. the women debated about posting here but how do they have open dialogue if they don't at least ask the question? also, if you feels it inappropriate why would you post a response to the question? not trying to trash on you but think about it...1st let me answer your question, then let me tell you i don't like you posting your question here. ????:thumbup:

i think the cucumber thing from my wife was just to let me know what i would have to go thru for it to even be considered. hell me and cucumbers shouldn't be used in the same sentence unless we are talking baby gerkins!:smile: ok, i should give myself a little more credit than that but you get my point. oh and if i even start poking around down there the veggies are coming out.:w00t:

ok, let me continue the q&a...i see a lot of women saying their "well endowed" significant other need not apply but for the "smaller" guys it's ok. someone define well endowed and smaller for all us guys reading this. come on fellas, you know who you are reading this. getting kinda self conscience here i think. oh, and my wife of 20yrs says as soon as i am willing to let her shove a cucumber up my a#@ she will bend over and let me have at it. i have to go 1st though. guess that is off the table. don't need a pickled pucker down there.

question off the subject...call me stupid but was does the DH stand for in all these post? i get BF is boyfriend. oh and congrats to you on your weight loss. keep it up.

if he had anything worth blackmailing him for that would be true.

gotta say i stumbled onto this thread by accident. went to the ladies forum to easedrop on the conversation. must say i was surprised at this thread, but i was also curious whether women really enjoy this. regarding anal play on men, as for me, stay away from the back door. exit only. a friend told me about a hooker he had who used anal beads on him. WHAT!?! said she pulled the cord and started him like a lawnmower. TMI. some things are meant only for confession i guess. he was drunk and i think he was sorry he told me. God knows i never brought it up though. anyway, ladies, thanks for the insight.

ok, new post here. i was banded in mexico last fall. did not do proper fills or followup so i basically didn't gain or lose over that time. wasn't too worried about it because i knew the band was there and i just needed to get off my butt and get going. anyway, found a dr in detroit area who would take me. i am 3hrs away in ohio. i had my first fill in march, 7mths after being banded. 2nd fill in june. semi restricted after the 2nd fill. total of 6cc in a 10cc ap band. well about a month ago while working i struck myself pretty hard right under my port. it is left side under my lowest rib. anyway, i was concerned that i had damaged something. restriction was not great before the injury and seemed less so as time went on. well i just went in yesterday. dr. wasn't too concerned. neither was his tech, who does all his fills. she does great by the way. never more than 1 stick and she does dozens every week so she is good at this. i was also concerned about maybe a flipped port. she hit it no problem on the 1st shot yesterday. should have been 6cc. she only could get 2.4cc. dr. said to add 3.1cc for a total of 5.5cc. i explained my concern and she was really cool about it. said that they see it regularly where people's body's absorb fluid thru the band and that this reduction is not necessarily a bad thing. i received the 3.1cc and left with an appointment to come back in 3 weeks. well, i tried to drink the bottle of water they give you with little success. ended up foaming up spittle. weird. i went to panera bread and had a 1/2 bowl of cream soup to see if it would pass. went back to wait in the dr's parking lot. remember, i am 3 hrs from home. was a bit uncomfortable but not stuck. never had a majot restriction before so thought maybe this is what the sweet spott feels like. i was "full". ended up going back in and having 1cc removed for safety's sake and since i will be back in 3 weeks. sorry for the long thread but i need to know if ANYONE else has heard of fluid's being lost thru absorption? new one to me. she said they have had patients come in who had recently had other surgeries with lots of i.v. fluids and their bands had more than was put in them causing tightness and discomfort. the dr. said he rarely sees damage to the ports and has seen very few actual leaks. any thoughts or imput would be appreciated. i will know more in 3 weeks. assistant said if i have a majot fluid loss then, they will assume a leak and we will look at options then. thanks for reading. oh yeah, i was self pay and the thought of more cash out to fix this really makes me sick

that's what i thought too. at 6cc i was slightly restricted but seemed to be working my way up to that "sweet" spot. this should have totaled 5.5cc and i was locked up. water was even a problem so i guessed the same thing. like i said, in 3 weeks i'll know for sure but i should know more myself within a few days. i was mega tight this morning but it seems to have relaxed a little this afternoon so that would match what a lot of folks say about being tight in the a.m. thanks for the reply. i'll update as it progresses. i really should be on here more to help keep me motivated.

i don't know your dr and honestly don't have a comment about who you use. i also went to mexico alone. i went to dr. rodriquez in juarez. regardless of who you choose just do your homework about that dr. my reason for answering you is this. i was a selfpay and i own a business so don't be embarassed about being selfpay. be proud of what you are about to do for your health. 2nd thing...when i got down to the hospital and was put in that room all alone i had a mini freakout. no kidding. i thought what the hell am i doing here!!?? i wanted to bolt for the border. looking back it's funny but at the time it was not humorous at all. i was scared, felt totally alone, was nervous, ect..... point is it may or may not happen to you. if it does recognize you aren't the 1st to feel this way and let it happen but don't let it change your mind. see it thru and before you know it you are home and fine. good luck and God bless.

you have years to make more money. you will be thankful when you ARE 30 that you spent the money when you were 20 and lived a great decade. you want to end up saying "i'm glad i did..." rather than "i wish i would've..." . don't rule out mexico either. great dr's and way cheaper than self pay in the usa. don't listen to all the nay-sayers that bad mouth the dr's in mexico. do your own research and choose wisely. everyone thinks their dr is the "best". the usa does not have a monopoly on quality health care. talk to others on this site that went south as well. i went to juarez and would do it again. good luck.

you can always self pay and have this over with in around 2 weeks. is it worth paying a medical loan for the next 4 years to go to the head of the line? just a thought.

since all of us here have tried every diet known at some point only to fail in the end i have to say how/why did you fail? we didn't just stop dieting one day. we fell down along the way after the newness of the "diet" wore off and the dreariness of continuing this diet set in. we take baby steps toward failure. a candybar here, then some chips/dip at night and eventually a lunch at the buffet we swore we wouldn't do. next thing you know, failure and back on the same old express to fatville. only we usually move "up" the street to a new address with a higher number. sound familiar? the band can not stop the cheating on what you choose to put in your mouth. candy bars will still taste awesome. you choose to do that with or with out a band. what makes a huge difference, at least for me, is when i did cheat i would throw myself under the bus and go whole hog. ponderosa, here i come!! with a band the binge of overeating is not possible so it minimizes how much damage we can do to ourselves via overeating. also if you inch upwards on the scale a fill can help get you going again. the tool is there to be used if needed. an earlier poster said it well. this is no diet. this level of commitment is a major lifestyle change. it requires the same work as a diet does or more but it keeps you from overdoing it foodwise if used properly. bad food choices though are on your head. good luck with your decision.

thanks for stopping by. come on back if you want to split a steak.

good luck. best advise i can give is to try to just relax. it really isn't a big deal. remember also, you may kind of freak out a few hours before surgery and question your decision. this is normal. don't 2nd guess this late in the game. you made this decision for a good reason so just let the day go by and before you know it you are done.

wow. i gotta say looking for a job based only on if they cover lapband is a new one to me. as a small business owner with 9 employees can i give a different viewpoint on this? sorry if it seems crass. i provide pretty decent healthcare insurance for our folks here< at real reasonable rates, but i do not have bariatric coverage included in our pkg. i had lapband by the way in august of this year. i was a self pay. i excluded bariatric coverage because i have 2 employees and 1 of their spouses that would probably utilize it. sounds like a typical "cheap" employers huh? look at it from an employers side. 2 years ago we had 2 gallbladder surgeries and a pregnancy. our renewal rate was initially +24% the following year. my agent got it down to only a 16% increase. we had very few claims last year and no serious ones. latest renewal was less than 1% for 09. good for all of us. if only 1 of these folks had a bariatric operation here in the states it would run minimum of $20k and up to $45k. for 2 folks, double that. here in lies the problem...i know these folks need help but if we have those surgeries go on our insurance our renewal rates would approach 40% to 60% next year IF they choose to renew at all. then what do i do when i can't afford to provide any insurance to ANY of my other empoyees. everyone thinks employers are just greedy and don't want people to be healthy if it costs them money. not true. most small business owners i know want to provide good coverage for their employees but the insurance companies have us by the balls! small companies can't get insurance if there are too many claims on the history so we are forced to be selective where necessary to be able to maintain any coverage. sorry, i'll get off my soapbox now. my advise to you is DO NOT advirtise to potential employers that you want bariatric surgery as soon as you qualify. no one will hire you. trust me on this one. good luck.

the incision site for my port was not sewn as well as i thought it should be. i left the original covering on it for 3 days after surgery. started getting sore. took it off and my incision was bright red and looked infected. my pcp looked at it and said no problem. well week and a half go by and i am still oozing out of this site. i could force out puss if i sqeezed it. it was also hot to the touch compared to the rest of my stomach. kinda freaked me out. last thing i want is a port infection. anyway, called the dr again. he told me to quit messing with it and leave the puss alone. it was my body healing the wound. now, 5 weeks out it is closed but the retained fluids hardened under the incision and it feels wierd. dr says over time the body will reabsorb the dried fluids and it will soften. don't know if it helps you but that's what my port site has done.

don't mean to sound insensitive but why do so many folks feel the need to tell people that aren't immediate family about this medical procedure?? do you also tell people you are having hemoroid surgery, your tubes tied, a colonoscopy? see my point? some procedures are more private than others. getting an impacted wisdom tooth removed is not as personal as say a vasectomy. you can not expect others who have not lived their lives in your fat body(i'm one too) to understand your desire to have an elective surgery to fix what many feel is simply a problem with your eating habits or your lack of exercise. i tend to lean to the private side for my own medical history anyway but i only told my wife, kids, and sis-in-law(tried to get her to go as well). had surgery over a month ago and still have only told 4 others so far. as the weight comes off i'll tell more folks but i did NOT need the negative vibes and advise from uninformed folks that just don't understand the severity of my life long struggle with weight. i was self pay so i went to mexico to boot. imagine how these same folks would react if you dropped that bomb shell on them. good luck and don't let ANYONE tell you what you should do. you need support? come here and talk to others that know.

before you go into surgery write on your stomach with a sharpie "i am getting a band. not bypass!". a friend is a surgical nurse and says they will actually write on the patient prior to surgery if there is a concern. things like "operate on this hand". and "no" on the other. sounds stupid to me but what can it hurt?

banded 3 weeks ago. had 2cc's put in during surgery in a 10cc band but no fills. no problem til 2 days ago. ate a small piece of ham on my way out the door. old habits die hard. chewed twice and swallowed. wow!! instant pressure/mild pain. stood in the yard and jumped up and down for a minute. my wife was laughing but surprisingly it worked. was only stuck for about 5 mins but definitely got my attention

sorry about your problem. i'd look elsewhere as well. as far as fill dr's. depending on your area it can be difficult to find one. your dr knows this and that might be part of the laize-fare attitude from his office. go to www.obesityhelp.com and look under the heading, "find a surgeon". it brings up a map of the states. click on your state. it will list all of the registered dr's and also a list of names of other dr's. not registered from your state. i believe it also has contact numbers for all of them. print this out, and start going down the list. it can be time consuming but you might find someone. this is how i found my fill dr. i was banded in mexico so i needed a local dr before i committed to the surgery. also, start a thread here and on OB.com to ask others from your state about their dr's. one lady responded to me. said she'd ask her dr. was told to pass on the dr's number for a consult. this was a dr. that had told me they didn't do mexico patients but once one of his patients referred me they were willing to talk to me. i ended up elsewhere but it was nice having others close to my area asking for me as well. folks on this site are, for the most part, very willing to help their fellow fatties get skinny so ask around on here. good luck.

send me an email and i will discuss. also from ohio. banded 9/29/08 in juarez, mx. i'll tell you what i found out so far. email is billf@finishingservicesinc.biz