Time2live

Oh don't get me wrong mine is definitely slimy....it just seems to come out more in string form rather than a lump...I'm really trying to make a huge effort to not let myself get really hungry before I eat and to chew an obnoxious amount so that I can avoid the PB's and sliming all together...I'll be really proud of myself when I get that part down pat.

Ewww deleting that visual Argon..lol...mine just seems like unending drooling but for me it's also pretty uncomfortable....it's so fascinating how we all have the same thing but entirely different experiences.

I've never thought about suicide....but I have wondered why I was born....I mean what is the purpose to my life? All my life I felt like I was just taking up space but not being a worthwhile citizen....ya know...making a difference or something. Was there anyone that I was truly impacting or affecting? At the end of my life would anyone have anything bigger to say other than..."She was a great mother, great friend, great wife." I realized that the answer to that was, probably not. But one morning I woke up and I CHOSE to see things differently. To my children, I was the first person that greeted them in the morning and the last person they would see before they closed their eyes at night. I was the one that would make them feel like a million bucks when other people made them feel bad. I am the one who offers them a safe place to cry, a cheering section for their off beat comic routines, and solid ground to walk on when the road seems way too scary, and I am the one who tells them I love them, love them, love them when they feel like they are unloveable. To my husband, I am the one who loves him most, who sees past the 40 pounds gained in 15 years of marriage, the hair long since lost, the age in his face from hard work, hard times and hard lessons. I am the one who at the end of the day reminds him that everything that truly matters is right here under this roof and not out there beyond our front door. To my friends, I am the one who listens for four hours while they talk about cleaning toilets, screaming kids, grouchy husbands and empty bank accounts, and genuinely cares about all they have to say. I am the one who remains ever their friend hopefully instilling the confidence that no matter what they do...I will always be there. When I took stock of all of those things....I realized that I really matter.....I'm not perfect and I'm not famous or beautiful or rich....but holy cow....look at what I have!! I'm so lucky.....how could I wade through all of this and find enough bad to cloud the good to the point where I wanted to end my life? Every day is not a walk in the park...and I cry mmmm probably at least 3 times a week but at the end of the day...life is good....good enough for me.

For me there have definitely been varying degrees of PBing and sliming. Sometimes it just gets stuck for a minute and then seems to pass through. It took me a few times of being stupid to realize that drinking Water DOES NOT help even though you assume it would. I think that once you get used to the band and how it works you can seriously reduce the number of times that you PB. I also had my surgery in Mexico and have a great Doc here in Calgary that does my fills for 125.00. He has no problem accepting patients who have been banded out of the country....probably because he understands that the 2 year waiting period simply isn't an option for a lot of people. Just do as much research as you can so you know what to expect.

Hey BetsyJane: Thanks for the encouragement....it's hard some days to feel like you are doing it right...I guess what matters most is that the scale is moving down and not up....even if it is at a modest rate. I may incorperate a Protein shake as a 'snack' if you can really call it that...lol...just to make sure I'm getting enough protein. I love reading what other people are eating though....gives me some ideas on new things I could try....GEEZ I would luv a bagel but I know that it wouldn't work so there isn't any point...maybe bread will work someday...but for now I'm still steering clear.

My doctor gave me 4 cc's the first fill, 1 cc the next and .5 on the third but he's pretty conservative. For a 10cc band that doesn't seem like an unreasonable first fill.

Holy cow!! Reading some of these posts I feel like I eat like a cow....lol...and I thought I was eating so little. My day looks like this: Breakfast yogurt and 1/2 banana or rice cake and one small turkey pepperoni lunch 1 cup of Lentil Soup or veggies and dip Supper Piece of Protein the size of my palm and vegetables Snack Licorice or fat free fudge bar or maybe 3/4 of a skinny cow. Maybe I'm eating too much and that's why I'm staying right around 2 pounds a week loss. I would definitely need way more restriction to get by on 1/2 cup per meal and I'm having catching episodes every day as it is. Maybe I need to rethink my food choices....the licorice should probably go..*sigh*

Omg I snorted my coffee!! lol I'm glad you got a half decent price....you couldn't drive for that these days so it seems fair.....have a great visit with yer family.

Yoda, Didn't know if you noticed but Westjet seems to have a 40 percent off or something....I punched in the departure date of april 4th with a return of the 11th and it gave me a price of 512.34 after all their taxes and airport improvement taxes and their I'mgonnapillageyouforanextraeightybucksbecauseIcan crap. Just thought I would pass along the info.

I was told the same thing about the hospital in Calgary. Dr. Mitchell won't send you on to the hospital though unless he is having trouble doing the fill or suspects a problem. I wish fill visits in his office were covered but no such luck. I don't mind not getting the fills under fluro everytime but I wouldn't mind one a year kind of thing and he said that they don't generally even do that. He said with regards to erosion and slippage that they feel that the patient will no pretty quickly with either problem that something is wrong so until then I highly doubt I will be seeing my fill under fluro.

Like so many other people I also took the Self Pay route because waiting was not an option. The only thing that saved me some money was the fact that I went to Mexico but even if I had to stay in Canada I still would have begged, borrowed or stolen to get it done.

Go For it!! The recovery isn't horrific though I guess it depends on the ages of your kids. I had gas pain and tenderness but nothing unbearable. I kind of feel like the sooner the better. Just my 2 cents worth. Good luck either way!!

Hey all, So we're putting a home gym in our garage(the freezing Alberta winter should help me burn a few extra calories while I'm out there) We already have a Bowflex which is awesome and we have a heavy bag but I really want to add a cardio machine of some sort. I'm debating between a stepper, elliptical, treadclimber or treadmill. I'd love to hear anyone's oppinion. Especially the ones who have had more than one of these pieces of equipment....which one did you like better? Brands that people prefer....anything like that. Thanks.

If this isn't a disorder in the medical world it should be and I think I have it. It's amazing to me to look back over the last few years and see that I really do have APD. My struggle these days is that I've taken away the things that I've been addicted to my whole life and now I feel like I'm lost and scrammbling for something to replace them. I quit smoking(which I desperately miss) and now I can't eat either.....my coping abilities seem to be all over the map when I'm faced with a stressful situation because the two things I would have turned to in order to cope are no longer available to me and holy cow does that suck! I need a hobby...anyone else feel like this?

I'd definitely be interested in this.

I'm wondering if the increasing interest in the band has now taken it off of coverage in Alberta. Less than a month ago I asked Dr. Mitchell about it and at that time it was covered though there is a waiting list....but maybe that has changed now. Good luck in your fight.....:clap2:

Okay so I have my second fill tomorrow and I've wondered for the last month and a half if it's seriously something psychological that causes a person(well...me)....to kind of crave the lodging feeling....not necessarily the PBing but just the stuck feeling so that I know that the band is tight enough. I know it sounds so dumb but there are some days when I can eat way more than I've been used to for the last 3 months and then I freak out because I wonder if I've stretched my pouch or something. I dunno....is this normal? I know that it will pass....I think it's just the fear that I CAN'T fail at this so I need to know that it's working. Anyhow just needed to vent....good night all.

I asked my doctor about this at my fill appt last week. I've been freaking out for the last month and a half because the amount of hair loss is reeeeeally unbelievable. I can feel a huge difference when I put a scrunchy or elastic in my hair. I was very panicky(is that a word?) Anyways since I had provided him my food journal he said that he didn't think that my hair loss was due to nutritional problems. He said that some people will lose hair due to poor nutrition but that, in most cases the hair loss is due to the stress of surgery. That it usually begins around the 3 or 4 month mark and usually lasts for a few months and then seems to slow down. I have no idea how this compares to what other peoples doctors have told them but it definitely reassured me a little.

Thank God this means I'm normal then. I was too embarrassed to mention it to the doctor because I didn't want him to think I was weird or something when he's just met me. Thanks for the input...I feel so much better now.

I definitely do waaay more eBaying than I did pre surgery. I think to curb the boredom that I would normally fill with food. I spend a ton of time on my laptop being an information junkie in general. I think that's because I know myself well enough to know that there are definitely times when I would make a detour through the kitchen if I didn't have something else occupying my time. Any addiction is like that though. When you are in recovery from one thing it has to be filled by something else and often for some people that turns out to be another addiction. When I quit smoking it got replaced with crunching ice and now I eat a glass of crushed ice three or four times a day and definitely go through withdrawl if I'm somewhere where the ice isn't available. Weird...I know.

Hey all, Sooo I reckon I may have to go back to having a Protein shake and maybe one bar a day because I'm not getting much food down since my fill. I went on Friday and then stayed on liquids until Saturday night but pretty much the first thing I ate came up. chicken got stuck, a piece of sub got stuck...and any bread item since then as well as chicken pizza last night. Some of the sticking episodes were soooooo bad that I was crying and it really scared me so now I've been eating oatmeal and Soup. I'm totally fine with giving up all the bread stuff...just worried that I'm lacking protein and other nutrients. I've felt totally wiped the last couple of days and I think it's from lack of food....LOL....never woulda thought I would hear myself say that. Anyways...I guess maybe the shake and bar might be a good idea...that will give me 30 grams...plus I know that not eating enough isn't helping take the weight off and it's definitely getting depressing to know I've only lost 12 pounds since surgery 2 months ago...gotta do something. Okay going now....have a good day all.

Well the doctor charged me 8750.00 and that included the hotel and pickup and drop off for the airport. My flight was 650 ish. Quotes that I got in Canada were around 16 thousand. I went with a friend so that was part of my decision making process and I wanted a doctor with a lot of esperience.

Hey all, So I had my first fill on Friday and it's been interesting since then. He put 4 cc's in my 10 cc band and I definitely have restriction right now. Nothing bread wise works and I tried to eat a piece of pizza and that was also unsuccessful but that's ok. The first lodging episode brought me to tears it was soooo bad. I don't want to keep doing that to myself so I think I will probably avoid alot of the white foods. Stef- Your pics are awesome. I've only lost 12 pounds since banding so to see you having lost that much already is amazing....keep up the good work. Well I'm off....too much to do...Have a great Wednesday.

I went to Dr.Mitchell yesterday for my first fill. He charges 100.00. He's very funny and a really nice man. He missed the first try but got my port on the second. He's new to this procedure but he's a bariatric specialist so he seems to be pretty compassionate about his patients. I've had horrific experiences with Doctors so I was really nervous but he totally put me at ease.

Tagger, I went to Dr.Kuri in July. There were a few people that were alone and they did fine. Miguel picks you up at the San Diego Airport and takes you right to the office. They take you down to the receptionist to sign in. There are restaurants right across the street for your last meal. Miguel drives you to the hotel after surgery and then picks you up and takes you to the airport. I think you will be totally fine. You don't really have to find your way anywhere. The hotel and hospital were both really nice and clean. The rooms at the hospital were really nice and you can bring DVDs to watch. Just go for it! You'll be fine.