skhopp

Leslie - Let me start off by saying that I can only wish I would have done as well as you have. I am 19 mos out from banding and have only lost the 10 pounds I lost on the PRE-op diet! Although I am not bipolar, I have family that is, and I do take 40mg of Paxil for depression. I'm not going to say I know how you feel, because I have watched people suffer thru the ups and downs of being bipolar, but have not had to experience it myself. I know it's easier said than done, but try to pick yourself up - you have made great leaps and bounds since being banded. Many people, including myself, could only dream of the successess you have already had. I know how depressing and frustrating this can be - I'm there. Some people say "take it a day at a time" - I say "take it an hour at a time" - I can do a lot of damage in a days time! It is overwhelming for me to look at the big picture - I still have a good 100 pounds to lose, and haven't found a good way to do it. It is very upsetting - I feel like I have not only let myself down, but my family as well (they are pretty supportive of me, with the exception of my dad and sister). I've had 3 back surgeries and am 33 years old - I am certain that I will face more, especially if I don't get some of this weight off. You most certainly do deserve the band - you've shown that by the weight loss you've had so far. However, I sometimes feel I don't deserve the band either, as I have never allowed it to work the way its intended to work - as a tool - I wanted it to be the miracle answer to weight loss, and it's not. Hang in there! This is not an easy journey, and medications affect everyone differently - your meds may have A LOT to do with your feelings. (The closest my sister-in-law has ever been to suicide was when she was on Wellbutrin - but for some it's a God sent) Hopefully, your doctor will find the right medications for you - ones that will not only make you feel better about yourself, but ones that don't have terrible side effects. Good luck to you - and feel free to vent anytime you need to. We're here for each other. You can even Private Message me, if you want. Stephanie

annika - *CAUTION-lengthy post* Don't know if I'll be of much help, but, here's my story. I was banded May 21, 2007 - 19 mos out, and I have lost about 10 pounds - and that was PRE-op. Not a pound since surgery. I toy with the same 2-3 pounds up and down, up and down, up and down. However, I look at it as a success because without the band, there is no doubt that I would be much heavier. It's not helped me to lose, YET; but has kept me from gaining. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am frustrated, depressed, disgusted and feel like a total failure. I live in a small town - where everyone knows your business so I feel like people are looking at me everywhere I go and thinking "I thought she had a weight loss surgery". Yep, I did and I'm not a big success YET. But, I am working at it - I have given up several times; however, I am determined to make this work. I am trying to make better food choices and start doing some sort of exercise. I have found the band to control my portion sizes, I just make poor choices - not allowing the band to do its entire job. And, I can count on 1 hand the number of times I have exercised the last 6 months - sad, hey? I went thru a period, or several of them, of denial - thinking "this stupid band", why isn't it working for me - WELL, I have admitted to myself that I am not allowing the band to work for me. It's not a miracle cure - was hoping it would be. Just yesterday, for Christmas, my mom got me a book called Prevention 2008 SHORTCUTS TO BIG WEIGHT LOSS - great book so far - have not been able to put it down. Anyways, the basic theory in this book (which I have heard several times lately) is that (3) 10 minutes of exercise a day are just as beneficial, if not more so, than a 30-40 minute exercise bout. The idea being, it's far easier to find 10 minutes here and there to exercise than it is to find 30-40 minutes. Which is true for me. Granted my kids are 10 and 13, and have always slept in in the mornings. So, I am fortunate. Having little kids that rise at the crack of dawn (my sister has 2 boys ages 3 and 4 that do this) is tough. I'm not going to preach to you about exercise because #1 I don't exercise and #2 I don't know your situation, BUT, I truly think that a lot of my "lack of weight loss" is directly related to my lack of exercise. If I just moved more - I expect that it would start to come off. That being said, please don't feel that you are a failure, and know that you are NOT alone. You are very new to the band - much newer than I - give it time. Sorry for the length of my post - wanted to fill you in on my story. Good luck to you - you can do this. Post anytime - many, many people are here for you - most with VERY good advice. Stephanie

Anyone wanna give me some info on internal flushes or cleansers or whatever you want to call them? Never done one, but I hear a lot of people refer to them, not to mention all the ads and commercials. Any suggestions on what to try and/or what to avoid?

thanks for all of your advice - sounds like it's a no-go.

I would like to know if anyone out there has considered, researched, or had a "revision" from the lap-band to the gastric bypass. I have had VERY poor results with the band - AND YES I KNOW THE BAND IS ONLY A TOOL, AND YOU HAVE TO MAKE LIFESTYLE CHANGES TO ALLOW IT TO WORK; but guess what? I don't think the band is/was for me. I truly think that I need something drastic to make me change. If I am given an inch, I WILL take a mile, no matter what I do. And, this is just what I've done since being banded. I have been banded for 19 months and haven't lost any weight to speak of. I have lost and gained the same 5 pounds since May of 2007. I know what I am supposed to do and eat - it's not that I'm uneducated, I guess, it's that I wasn't ready to make the change, even though I thought I was. I was and still am SOOOO tired of being fat. I don't even want to get out of bed each day, because I don't have anything that fits and I don't want to go anywhere where someone might see me. I have a semi-supportive family, my husband doesn't say anything one way or the other, my kids tell me I look good, even though I know I don't. I am so confused - I have a constant battle with myself every single day. I have thought about the gastric bypass off and on for the last 6 months. I know it's very risky, and that's what scares me the most; however, I have already had 3 back surgeries, and am certainly headed for more, if I don't lose this weight. I am 5'6" tall and weigh 240 pounds. I look and feel like hell. I keep praying, asking God to help me. I don't have diabetes, high BP, or sleep apnea. Does anyone have any suggestions, besides reiterating the lap-band rules to me AGAIN?:biggrin::scared2:

I can't thank you enough for giving me inspirational advice. It's so tough - but everyone on this site knows that. My story is no different; however, I wish you could buy willpower! I did a lot of thinking last night - didn't lead to any exercise, yet, but it's a start. I know exactly what I need to do - make healthier choices, drink more water, and move my butt! Keep me in your thoughts and prayers, if you will. Thanks again and Happy Holidays.

Thank you for your honesty. And, you're exactly right - what makes me think that I can succeed with any kind of WLS, if I can't follow the lap band rules?? I guess, I was just thinking of all the poor choices I make as far as food and drink, and I thought maybe if I had physical side effects with them (such as the "dumping syndrome") that I would quit consuming them. I am soooo confused, frustrated, disappointed, depressed. Just when I think I am on the right track, I screw up, AGAIN. I have 2.5 cc in my 4 cc band. I have to go back in a couple of weeks to have the fluid taken out and measured because I was supposed to have 4 cc in it, but I had lost ALL restriction, so I went in for a check. And, they discovered that I was 2.5 cc short of what I should have had (only had 1.5 cc in the band) so they put that back in, plus 1.0 cc. So they're trying to determine if there is a leak, or if it was a careless fill?? They're leaning more towards a careless fill, because they had good "vacuum" when they were pulling the fluid out. I haven't had any real big set backs (small unfill last Dec. due to persistent vomiting), and then the recent loss of restriction which allowed me to eat like a horse again - and because I have no will power, I did just that! I just wish I could get back on the band wagon. I feel like I'm trying, but my heart tells me I'm not. You would think that as unhappy as I am with myself, I would be making whatever changes it takes - but I'm not...WHY? I haven't ever seen a counselor for my eating habits, but I'm thinking that it wouldn't hurt. Thanks for listening - I know I sound like a hopeless cause, because that's what I feel like.

BTW - I LOVE to hear from those that were banded at Hurley in Flint, MI. Dr. Wagner did my surgery, as Dr. Obeid (bless his soul) had went on medical leave just b4 my surgery.

I live in Northern Michigan. Had my surgery done at Hurley in Flint, MI. I like this post, as it's neat to see the people from your home state that have been through and are going through the same things as you, and we all have the same goal - a healthier, happier life. Good luck, all. And, I know there are more MI banders out there - let us know who and where you are!

On Monday, I went to see a new surgeon that does lap band fills. He used to do gastric bypass surgeries, but quit doing them because of all the risks. Now, he is a general surgeon that is offering lap band fills. He is only 1 1/2 hours from my house - my surgeon's office is 3 hours, and I never got to see him anyway, just the fill nurse. So, I chose to transfer. I went to see the new doctor with 3.0 or 3.25 cc in my 4 cc band. I was used to getting fills that consisted of only 1/4 to 1/2 cc at a time. He gave me a 1 1/2 cc fill. I am assuming this has maxed out my band. I felt fine after the fill, and still do; however, I have lost all restriction that I had before the fill. I have absolutely, positively NO restriction now - I can eat just as much as before the surgery. What could have happened?

Update - I went back to my surgeon's office yesterday. I saw his PA. She withdrew all the fluid from my band (four times) - which amounted to exactly 1.5 cc's every time. I should have had 4 cc's in there. She said she isn't sure exactly where the extra fluid went - could've been from someone withdrawing the needle improperly and letting some fluid leak out in the process, or there is a leak. However, she said she doesn't think there's a leak because of the amount of suction she had when she was withdrawing the fluid. She wants me to come back next week or the week after to have the fluid checked. If there is the 2.5 cc's that she put in yesterday, then there is not a leak, just an improper fill. If there is less, than obviously, it's leaking out somewhere. Good thing is, I can feel some restriction today - which is different from the last week where I had NONE. Hope I'm getting back on track - wish me luck. Thanks for being there for me - your advice is helpful and comforting. Keep up the good work!

Hi all! Tabithan - thanks for checking in with me. I applaud you *CLAP CLAP CLAP* for taking the time to address many of us individually. It's comforting to know that there are others out there that can not only relate to my issues, but care about me as well. I haven't had a very good last few days - I'm upset about my band issue, but going to see my surgeon's partner on Wednesday. Besides that weighing on my mind, my daughter was attacked at a basketball game on Thursday night. Punched repeatedly in the head by another girl, over some name calling. I called the police, as I fully intend on pressing charges. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. So, she is scared to death to go to school anymore - which is sad for an A-B student, who used to love school. Luckily for her, we had a snow day today. That puts additional stresses on me. AND, I don't have my Christmas shopping done, yet. So many things to worry about. I need to buckle down, put myself first, and do what I know how to do. Thanks again, and good luck to all of you. WE CAN AND WILL SUCCEED! Steph

I considered the fact that he could've just missed the port, and not actually given me a fill at all; however, I have lost even the restriction I had BEFORE I went to him. I already had moderate restriction with 2.5 cc in a 4 cc band when I went for a fill. And, now I have NO restriction - not only do I not have more restriction with the fill, I don't have ANY restriction. Puzzling, huh? That's what makes me think he did something that caused me to lose all the fluid I had in there. Trying to keep high hopes!

orea15 - thank you so much for your concern. Yes, it was a valuable lesson to learn. And, I am hoping it's something simple - not anything that requires a band replacement. But, I had a bad feeling about this new doctor when I was in his office. I should've listened to my inner-self. One thing I know is that I won't go back, and I won't recommend him to anyone. Please keep your fingers crossed for me - I'm praying for myself!

Well, I have spoken with a nurse at my surgeon's office. She believes that the doctor on Monday, that gave me the large fill, has "blown" my band. I have chosen to go back and see one of my surgeon's partners on Wednesday, Dec. 17th. Nurse says he will evaluate me and determine what testing needs to be done, and if, in fact, the band has been "blown", it'll need to be replaced. I am soooo pissed at myself and at that doctor - for pretending to know what he was doing. He has never done a lap band surgery, but gives fills -- that should have been a red flag. Moral of the story - go the extra mile to get experienced treatment. Because now, I could be facing another surgery. Arghhhh!

Well, I just spoke with a nurse at my surgeon's office. She said it sounds like the doctor on Monday that gave me the large fill, "blew" my band. I have chosen to go back and see one of my surgeon's partners on Wednesday, Dec. 17th. He will evaluate me and determine what testing should be done. And, if, in fact, the band has been "blown", they'll need to replace it. Moral of the story - go the extra mile to get experienced treatment. I saved 3 hours on Monday, going to a surgeon closer to home, only to find out that he may have caused me to face more surgery. I am soooo pissed at myself and at him - for pretending he knew what he was doing.

I am 1 1/2 years from my banding - and I am still stuck at a loss of 10-15 pounds (due to no fault of the band, lack of effort on my part) I feel like I am the only one that has failed at the lap band. I know that my family and friends (although they don't say much to me) wonder why the h*ll I'm not any thinner. I am absolutely embarrassed to go into public - I live in a small town and most everyone knows that I had the band put in - and I feel like everyone looks at me and wonders why I'm still fat. My daughter's parents' night for basketball is tonight - and although I want to be out there with her, part of me wishes I could hide in the bathroom until the introductions are over. I am really depressed about this. I know that it is my own fault - ice cream, potato chips, calorie laden drinks, etc. I need help bad, and I'm hoping someone out there can relate??? I have post-poned my 1 year check (should've been in May 2008) because I am sooooo embarrassed. I did finally reschedule it for Oct. 17 - and come hell or high water, I'm going. I think this is a huge step in trying to get back on track. Hope someone out there will respond. thanks

Tabithan - thanks for your opinion. I agree, I have NOT allowed my band to work to its full extent. In the back of my mind, I've always expected the band to be that perfect miracle for weight loss that I long for - even though I was told time and time again, that it is only a tool. What is this "port readjustment" that you speak of? I am ready to commit to my band, to use it as a tool. And, the first thing I'm going to do is stop drinking carbonation (yes, I do this too, even though I'm not supposed to) - I know that it can stretch the pouch, and allow the band to slip - and that may be what has already happened. I am sooo scared - I hope that I haven't screwed up the surgery by not listening to doctor's orders. I need to drink more Water, eat more healthy foods, and exercise (I don't do that either). I really have never followed the lap band rules since surgery - I've always made my own rules - and thus have not had any successess. I am really down on myself right now - but I needed to hear those things from you. I am okay with being told the bitter facts, because I know that I am not doing what I should be doing, and doing what I shouldn't be doing. I am writing this on the verge of tears because I went thru so much (just as all of us have) to get the insurance approval and then the surgery itself, only to hang onto old habits. Could you tell me what the 5 day pouch test is? I have written down what I consume, and tracked calories -- for a day or two. And then I stop doing it! Why???? I don't know why. And, yes, I am willing to take drastic measures - such as an unfill, or whatever the doctor suggests. I just hope that whatever the problem is - it can be fixed without any other surgery. I just don't understand how I can go from moderate restriction to NONE with a fill? Makes no sense. But, I am really questioning seeing this new doctor, as opposed to the nurses that are trained to do these fills. And, another thing, I was surprised the new doctor didn't have me try to drink water before leaving the office to make sure I wasn't going to have any problems! My surgeons office ALWAYS did that, even with a .25 cc fill. I think I made a huge mistake by trying to save myself a lot of travel time. Thanks for your time! Steph

I was told by my surgeons office, at my last fill appt, that I had 3 cc or 3.25 cc (I can't remember for sure); however, last night I was reviewing my records, and at one appt last December, I had to have .5 cc removed because of terrible vomiting - but the nurse ADDED that amount on my fill log, instead of SUBTRACTING it, so I really only had about 2.5 cc, when I went to visit the new surgeon on Monday. My surgeons office ALWAYS drew out the fluid to measure, and then put it back in with the additional for the fill; however, this new doctor did not draw out any fluid, and tried 3 times to get in the port with a needle he then decided was too short, he then was "successful" with the longer needle on the fourth try. Well, he thought he was successful anyway, but I am questioning this now. And, I maybe didn't make myself clear when I was trying to describe my loss of restriction. I have ALWAYS had restriction, since the day my band was placed - except for the last 3 days, since that last, large fill. I was due for a fill, and felt like I needed one; however, I have NEVER had a fill larger than .5 cc at a time - but he put in 1.5 cc on Monday. I was worried that with that large of a fill, and being that close to the max my band will hold that I'd have trouble swallowing liquids - turns out I can eat like a freakin' horse - just like I could before my surgery! Makes no sense to me. I have to think he not only missed the port, but did something to the band to cause me to lose the fluid I did have in there. What do you guys think? p.s. I do have calls into my surgeons office, as well as the doctor I seen on Monday. I'm hoping to hear back from them today - if not, they're going to hear from me by the end of the day. I'm worried, not to mention pissed off. My success with the band has been very minimal to begin with, and now that I can consume food just like pre-band, I'm worried I'm going to start gaining.

Thanks for inviting me to take part in your thread - I am definitely a "poster child" for lap band failure. I have not given the band a fair chance - I have admitted that all along; however, I do feel like I have made enough changes that I should have seen SOME weight loss. For those of you that don't know my sob story, I had my surgery in May of 2007, and am the same weight now as I was the day of surgery. Yes, I know, it's an accomplishment that I haven't gained, and without the band, I'm sure I would've; however, I am very disappointed, depressed, disgusted, etc. that I haven't seen any weight loss. And, I do worry about what others think, and maybe I shouldn't, but I do. I wanted to be proud of myself and have others be proud of me as well, but that hasn't happened. I have a 4cc band, and have had 6 fills at the clinic where my surgeon is employed, although I haven't seen him since the day after surgery -- might I add that I had never seen him prior to surgery either. (My surgeon went off on medical leave with a brain tumor a couple of weeks before my insurance approval - so I agreed to have one of his partners do the surgery, not realizing that I wouldn't get to meet him before he did the surgery.) So, this didn't make a very good impression on me, and then not seeing him since surgery (almost 2 years) hasn't set well either. Finally, this week I went to see a new doctor that is much closer to my home. He used to do gastric bypass surgeries, but has quit doing them because of the riskiness. He is a general surgeon, but does lap-band fills. I liked him; however, after meeting him, I am questioning more things than I did before. First, the bariatric clinic would only give me 1/4 to 1/2 cc fills at a time. When I went to see the new doctor on Monday, I had 3 or 3.25 cc in my 4 cc band. He gave me a fill that consisted of 1.5 cc! I was in total shock. He said that he gives fills until he meets some resistance from the band, and then he backs off a little. So, I am assuming that my band is at its max or close to it. I left the office feeling very sure that this was going to give me the fresh start I have been longing for. It didn't take me long to realize that i now have NO restriction. I mean NONE, I can eat just like I could before the surgery. Since the band has been part of my life, one thing I always noticed was that it definitely controlled my portions - I could eat very minimal portions; however, I didn't always choose healthy foods. The new doctor did ask if I have had an upper GI since the band placement, and I haven't, other than the 1 they give you before you can be discharged from the hospital the day following surgery. He said we may have to do that to be sure it's in the right place. I called his office yesterday to report the loss of restriction, and I'm still waiting for a call back. Does anyone know what could've happened to cause the complete loss of restriction that I feel? It has me concerned, and instead of being excited about the fresh start, I feel like I've taken yet another step backwards! Arghhh! Thanks for taking the time to read this lengthy post - I'm really frustrated. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

LAEXGORDITA - I'm with you. I was banded May 2007 and have only lost the 12-15 pounds I lost during my pre-op phase. I haven't lost or gained 1 shittin' pound in 18 mos. Talk about depressing, disappointing, etc. I know how you feel - except I wish I had some of the success you've had with weight loss. It is such a battle. I'm like you with the exercising - I THINK about it every day, and then I make an excuse as to why I can't start today - maybe tomorrow. Yeah, right there hasn't been any "tomorrows" since May of 2007! I feel for you because I know how hard it is to watch everybody else succeed, and it seems that we're the only ones who don't have a success story to be told. The only advice I can give you is I take my life hour by hour, not day by day, because I can do a lot of damage to my "diet" in 24 hrs time! Keep plugging away - you can do it. I can do it, I just need a kick in the a**. Good luck, and you've got a friend in me.

ladyshy78-I wish I had some ideas, tips, suggestions to help you out. But, I'm actually in the same boat as you - maybe a little worse, as far as success goes. I was banded May 2007 and have only lost the 12-15 pounds I lost during the pre-op pahse. I have not lost NOR GAINED 1 shittin' pound since surgery. This is very disappointing, discouraging, depressing, etc. I know how you feel - it's tough to go through WLS and then not have near the success it seems everyone else in the world is having. I feel like a total failure. You have lost a significant amount of weight, though - Good for you. It's such an uphill battle for me, for most of us, and many times I feel like I'm rolling down the hill at a fast pace. I find that I have to take my life hour by hour - not day by day, as that's too overwhelming - I can really screw up my eating in 24 hrs time! Don't give up -- (easier said than done, I know first hand). I am thankful that I haven't gained, but very upset that I haven't lost. I truly wish you the best of luck. We can chat whenever you need to, though I'm not exactly a bundle of joy or queen of successes. lol

I have had my band for 18 mos and I sooo wish I could say that I love it. Take into consideration, though, that I have not put forth an enormous amount of effort. But, I have given up many things and have not lost (NOR GAINED) 1 single pound in 1 1/2 years. That is very depressing. I don't know if I can honestly say I wish I hadn't had it done - because I'm sure I would have gained weight had it not been for the band; however, I am disappointed that I haven't had weight loss success.

farmmomto2: What 10 day "diet" do you have in mind. Just looking for ideas. I've been banded 18 mos and have lost 12 stickin' pounds! I've been on quite the plateau also. Let me know if you have any ideas. Thanks and good luck to you

Congrats to all that are succeeding on WW. I dug out my WW materials yesterday morning, and was very "gung ho", until I journaled what I usually have for "breakfast" - what an eye opener! It wasn't until I wrote that down that I realized why I haven't been losing weight - I can't believe I haven't gained any. The chocolate milk "breakfast of champions" I thought I had to have every morning is a whomping 10 points! Holy @#*^! So glad I wrote that down, or I may not have ever realized it. I knew it wasn't a perfect choice - but I figured I needed ALL the protein I could get. Over my dead body will I go back to that breakfast. So, anyways, I'm going to try to do WW without going to the meetings - hasn't worked for me in the past - I've always found that I do better when I actually go to the meetings. But, hey, it's a step in the right direction. If it doesn't pan out - I'll join AGAIN. Thanks for listening. I am soooo glad to hear that WW has helped getting you off your plateaus - I'm on a big one myself - for the last 18 months! Good Luck all - please say a prayer for me!