Sosewsue61

A reminder of how far I've come ...

I ate like a normal person yesterday!!!
I was at an all-day training where they provided breakfast and lunch. Since I didn't know what they would be serving, I packed my little cooler with a protein bar, yogurt and a fruit cup. I didn't need it, woohoo! One of the breakfast options was a yogurt parfait and at the lunch buffet they had (in addition to a bunch of stuff I couldn't eat) salmon patties, a squash medley, and orzo. They had fruit cups for the afternoon snack! I was so excited to eat what other people ate! I admit, I did eat some sweets, too. But overall, what a good day!

NSV: yesterday a business man came into to see one of the bosses. He gave me a candy bar first and then the paperwork. I said I would be sure to give to supervisor. he says no candy is for you. I said its ok, he was , NO ITS FOR YOU. I said thank you , that I had had weight surgery so I tend to stay away from candy. He looked at me up and down and said you don't need surgery (probably didn't understand what I had said).  It's nice knowing that I look fit enough to where I would not need one, lol. Working out 25 out of 31 days definitely helps!

Well . . . I managed to gain 10 pounds during the three weeks I lived in a motel without my scale and cooking only with a microwave--not quite sure how that happened, but ugh. Have now stayed with a friend for a few weeks and lost it, and am back moving in the right direction. Total lost is 76 pounds. Would like to double that at least! Though, to be fair, the saggy skin thing does put me off a bit. Not enough to stop the process . . . I sure would enjoy being something close to normal.  

So yesterday, I did a dumb thing. I went to see the Dietitian and Therapist at my surgeons office and I was so anxious at the fact that I had not lost any more weight. I had forgot to eat since Thursday morning (It could have been that I subconsciously did it out of fear of being told I am not doing a job). I weighed in at 196 lbs and found out that I had lost 5 inches since my last visit which they were proud of. They gave me a much needed pep talk and I was ready to tackle on the world again. 
I went to the gym (still had not eaten) and began my workout. My second set in and apparently I fainted. I know my trainer woke me up and apparently, I was trying to climb on the pull-up bars yelling, “I have to do the pull-ups” . Then in the Ambulance I am telling them that they are trying to hold me back from exercising and this is why our relationship will never workout . They tried to give me Oxygen and apparently I got rude with them and said, “I’m not paying $400 for **** that I can do naturally and for free.” 
After some testing, I found out my blood pressure and sugar was very low and I was severely dehydrated as well. 
Well 6 hours, $100 copay (probably hundreds in ER bills cause they will charge you for napping) and an annoyed mother later, the moral of the story is to remember to eat. Just eat. Don’t worry about the scale and the mind games it plays. Just eat. Now I am not saying junk food or anything like that but eat the healthy stuff. Don’t be afraid to. 
I was so in my own head, that I forgot one of the most essential parts of living and that is fueling this body I have worked so hard for.

At my WI this past Friday, I surpassed 60 lb total loss! That's 20% of my body weight from my highest weight this summer  I lost 20ish lbs before surgery, and another 40ish lbs since surgery. Happy to keep moving onward and DOWNward! 

This is the first day in a long time I have felt something close to "normal" since having undergoing Panniculectomy and Abdominoplasty 18 days ago.  Hopefully I have hit my turning point. 

48 DAYS SINCE SURGERY.... I HAVE LOST 30.1 LBS SINCE SURGERY.. AND 55.2 SINCE APRIL... NEVER LOOKING  BACK!!! WOO HOO.. I ONLY HAVE 1/2 A LB TO LOSE BEFORE I HIT 299...   I KNOW THAT IS STILL A BIG WEIGHT BUT OMG I DONT HAVE TO BE IN THE 300'S ANYMORE!!1 HAPPY DANCE!!   DOWN TWO PANTS SIZES AND 2 SHIRT SIZES!!  SO FAR NO HAIR LOSS AS I AM TAKING A VITAMIN WITH BIOTIN IN IT AND MY CBD OIL I USE FOR MEDICATION REPLACEMENT SUCH AS NSAID'S AND ANXIETY MEDS  IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO AD ME ON FACEBOOK  HERE I AM ------> https://www.facebook.com/robin.ryan2012

I finally got my last weight loss reward. I have a fur for the winter to combat being cold all the time. I can't begin to express how much joy my new car and wardrobe bring me. I would have never comfortably fit into a sports car before losing weight, and it is nice to be able to wear a fur without being the size of an actual bear.

So I'm almost done with the blended/pureed part of my diet progression back to solids. Thankfully, I really haven't needed to blend much of anything. As long as I stick to the foods I'm allowed to have during this 2wk phase, and chew to it's basically pureed before I swallow, I've had no issues. MUCH more palatable than actually blending everything up lol. Looking forward to the soft foods starting this weekend! I'll still be chewing to a pulp before swallowing (basically forever on that), but at least I can start to introduce more foods into my diet again. REALLY looking forward to some fish, been soooo long!

Down 9.6lbs a week out from surgery! That's INSANE. I'll take the crazy losses while I can get them lol

I am now working as a server at Cracker Barrel, sometimes able to do 2 back to back 15 hour days which is a long way from where I was 1 year ago. But I am now down 197lbs @ 16 months post op

Today is my first day back at work since my surgery 10/16. I thought I had thought about everything and returning to work, meals, protein, water, etc. One major thing I didn't think about was me getting dressed for work this morning and putting on slacks that I wore pre-surgery...they looked ridiculous and were entirely too big. It was awesome and stressful at the same time. Luckily, as I rummaged through the closet I found a smaller size that I kept for some strange reason, and while still a bit baggy, they were much better. Guess I'll need to get a couple pairs of slacks tonight to get me through the next month or so, then swap those out. What an awesome feeling to get rid of clothes for being to big for a change.

Had my surgery on Friday 10/27 afternoon. I was doing so well in recovery that they released me after only one night in the hospital  I've been super fortunate so far, only needing one pain pill in the hospital, and right now just taking liquid ibuprofen. I've been burping since the hospital, but today was my first day at home with protein shakes and finally started passing gas - yay! lol Most of my discomfort is from soreness from the surgery and gas pressure. No issues getting my protein shakes in and keeping them down. All of my docs were super happy with my recovery, and my surgeon said the procedure went perfectly. Here's to the start of my new life!

Last week I poured out all the alcohol in the house. I rarely drank pre op but about 6 mths post RNY I stopped declining wine with dinner and very quickly recognized that I was experiencing the food to alcohol addiction transfer.
I'm so glad the alcohol is gone! If anyone feels they are on that slippery slope I encourage you to do the same. So much easy to resist if it is not in the house.
Also, for the first time in 6 months I've broken out of the gain/lose/gain/lose the same few lbs stall and have started to lose again!

I have lost 100 lbs since DEC 29 of 2016 have platoded at 189 for 2 month starting to more hungry still can't eat much .  but was considering diet pills for my last  24 Pounds for my personal ideal weight. Any suggestions ?

Surgery is TOMORROW! It doesn't even feel real! I'm sitting here having my decaf coffee 'breakfast' and trying to just keep as busy as I can today so I can try to avoid the fact that I'm on 'clear' liquids all day today, no protein shakes  I brought chicken bone broth and chicken bouillon cubes to try for lunch, and must have brought half a pound's worth of sugar free lemon lime jello for snacks haha. Lord this day can't be done with soon enough! 

TODAY I HIT 50lbs lost  I am super happy and excited to be at my 50lb loss at  6 weeks out  !!!!!

3 Days out of surgery! Feeling ok.... working on getting my fluids in and walking. Trying not to take too many pain pills. I detest jello 😜 but love chicken broth. I’m down about 8 pounds already, not focusing on weight loss though, just getting better. 

One week post op today.  Down 18 since pre opt diet and 10 since surgery    So far so good.  Liquids going down pretty easily now.  First few days,  I had to take the tiniest sips for it not to hurt.  Ready to move on to Protein shakes (Phase 2) tomorrow.  Hopefully,  I will have enough will to make it 2 more weeks on a liquid diet!   

After 7+ months, I have a surgery date of Oct 24 2017. Am over half way through the preop liquid diet. This has been VERY difficult for me. Nothing tastes good & I constantly feel nausious & lightheaded. I have lost 11lbs in 7 days on the preop diet. I am however, extremely excited to move to the next stage of my life. A much healthier one.
SW 211
PREOP DIET STARTING WEIGHT 211lbs
CW 200lbs
GW 115lbs

There is a hill that is along my bike route to work. Everyday I ride, I take that hill. Today was the first time that I made it to the top without having to stop. I am getting stronger a bike rider. My calories for today are 672 but that does not include dinner. I will be buying Standard Gold Whey Protein Powder to add to my fruit smoothies. 1 scoop is like 26g of protein (Something that is much needed as I am trying to build muscle). I am having a hard time increasing my protein intake in the form of food lately. I just have not been hungry.
Things I am adding to my diet to see if I can take them:
1) Whey Protein
2) Dannon Oikos Triple Zero 
Also, I have started doing mediation to help alleviate some stress. I retain weight when I am stressed out. It also causes pain in my neck and back because that is where I hold all my tension. I also want to be flexible and by relaxing myself, I am able to stretch and bend a lot easier. 

So the ex-bf is completely out of the picture. I could not handle the uncertainty of his behaviors. One day he likes the way I dressed, the next day I was begging for attention. Once he started with the insecurities, I had to let it go. Truthfully, it did not hurt me as much as I thought it would. And that is because I had falling in love with someone else. 
I fell in love with a woman. She is the most funny, beautiful and caring person I have ever met. She is strong, confident and dorky at the same time. She is everything I ever wanted in a person and she is ME!! I FELL IN LOVE with MYSELF again. I forgot the person I used to be and went searching for her and I found her. I never want to lose her again. If that meant giving up someone else for the sack of myself, then I would do what is necessary to keep me as a I am.
I guess sometimes you have to be selfish. I cannot sacrifice my success to make someone else fell secure in themselves. I cannot sacrifice my peace of mind to give some one a peace of mind. I just could not keep living my life through other peoples wants, hopes and desires. I want to live my life for me. I have wants, hopes and desires and I plan on making them happen. 
"Like a Phoenix, out of the Ashes comes NEW LIFE!"

I seem to have hit another stall already--I keep waiting for my loss to hit 50 pounds but it just isn't getting there. I have lost a bit of the grip on what I'm eating and whether I'm getting enough protein and so on--a lot of changes lately. I moved about a week ago and then lost my niece (age 43) to a heroin overdose. So, kind of traumatic times. I don't think I'm going to be able to get to the funeral. Like so many things, nothing I can do about that.
Still, shopped yesterday and have some protein shakes, much as I dislike them, to help me get back in control. Made a birthday cake for the friend with whom I'm staying, but that's gone now and I've bought some sugar-free fudgesicles for my "sweet." 
I'm a bit frustrated by the fact that I don't really notice a change in my body and I'm still wearing all the same clothes. How much do I have to lose before the clothes are too big? Sheesh. And then I have to stop a moment and realize it's only been six weeks since the surgery--this is a long journey, not a sprint. 
So, onward.

Day 5 of liquid liver-shrinking pre-op diet, and so far so good! I have been taking more enjoyment out of watching my cooking/baking shows on TV though  Can't believe my surgery is soo close@ This process has been incredibly fast for me (went to free WLS seminar by surgeon July 29th), and can't believe my life will change for the even better so soon!