Sosewsue61

Oh Lord have mercy. What a huge emotional state you must be in, so sorry. I am glad you came on here to ask for support. Can you lean on a close family member? Or a minister? My first granddaughter, Alexis died at 18mos at the babysitter's. Funeral was the coldest iciest day in February and the blackest day of my life. Then 5 months later there was a murder-suicide in my family. I was shaken to my core and had to talk to my priest several times as I could not reconcile the anger and disbelief - it was my brother and his illicit girlfriend, they were both married. He had three grown daughters and she had two little girls that were left motherless. I cried and prayed and cried and prayed, it was not the brother that I had known. That was 20 years ago and I still have no answers to it. Turning to food will not really provide any fix for your anger and grief, as soon as the food is consumed it will be there just as big as before. There is no going back. Don't be too strong, go ahead and feel the grief. I wish I could hug you right now.

@Ance how is your daughter doing?

Good luck with getting some help. Maybe take the surgery info with you to the psych appointment.

Humans are designed to survive and if we have talked ourselves into thinking we are never going to have certain food again then that is the very thing we start craving. This is not unique to fat people, my husband is not fat but if he knows there is only a third of a container of ice cream left in the freezer you better get out of his way!! LOL Forgive yourself because that self persecution will only make you struggle with your self worth and not help you make the choices you need to make. We are all a work in progress all of our lives. And consuming food creates a chemical response, an emotional response, and a physical response, especially carbohydrates but hey I can salivate over steak or fish too!!! I have been trying to reduce my exposure to the really tempting items, places, events but don't always succeed. One trick I have recently employed is to let everyone else go to the buffet and I sit and watch and think and wait awhile - I look at the physical condition of everyone near me eating. Is that person as fat as me - and what are they eating? Is there a slender person here and what are they eating - I wonder if that is the 1st or only plate of food they are getting? What is absolutely the best tasting item here? Is that what I want right now? This isn't easy and I don't have all the answers, I still decide to do the wrong thing sometimes, but I hope to improve at this.

Try Isopure ready made blue raspberry - it is a clear protein drink that is a little tart and has 40 grams per 20oz.

Get a handheld stick blender or a Ninja blender for puree. I don't know your physician's food stages, but fluids and protein grams are the most important part right now. Most Americans are supposed to drink at least 64 ounces of liquid and at least 60-80 grams of protein a day.

Congrats! I can tell from your post how happy you are with the results of a year of hard work.

I agree sizing has no standards these days, and back in the 60's I wore 13/14 and weighed 130-135 and thought I was fat. Sewing patterns usually go by measurements and are a bit more accurate - right now in vintage sewing patterns I would be wearing size 46 based on the bust and in stores plus size 22 and I am 5'2" 221. Plus sizes are particularly inaccurate and most of them fit horribly at that. On plus size buttondown shirts the armholes are usually cut too low (forget tank tops they are the worst) and the upper bust too wide, and the bust point is in the wrong place as well. So like most fat people I buy knits. I look forward to the day I can sew garments in smaller sizes and shop off the sale rack and buy cute vintage clothes.

I am not trying to be cruel here, as you sound scared - call your physician - because this is an internet forum filled with ordinary people and not physicians. If someone came knocking at your front door and stumbled in bleeding from an injury would you apply pressure to the wound and call 911 or get on here and ask what to do? Stop messing around - you just had 85% of a major organ cut off and removed and stapled shut.

Wow, it looks like you turned the clock back at least a decade!!!! Congrats!

Sorry you are struggling right now, the only thing I can suggest is asking your doc for a PPI for the reflux and try sipping warm weak tea, or sf popsicles.

@pg278 good for you for getting the right information. I hope it all works out for you.

Ok. So what does Anthem require for approval? Does Anthem only have this healthcare system in its policy or is this the only local system that does baratrics? And does the surgical team work with other physicians in that healthcare network that are friendlier to bariatrics? I would ask them about their experiences with the supportive physicians.

Just hang in there and find another hobby besides 'scale hopping', trying to add some humor here! Buy a flexible tape measure at a fabric store like JoAnn's or anywhere they sell little sewing supplies. Make a chart for your measurements. Don't worry about working out until you get the protein goals and water goals in line - that is more critical right now. Just do some walking, use audible books on your phone that makes walking less boring. Good luck.

Some questions: What state are you in? What kind of insurance do you have (work, state, through ACA, etc) What does your insurance require for approval (6 mos supervised diet or actual weight loss, exercise record, etc - read your plan specifics)? Insurance companies have coordinators that can assist you if you have questions about the requirements. Ask very specific questions - am I required to lose weight, will I be rejected if I gain any weight, will I be rejected if I lose weight below the required bmi, etc? If you can change PCP then do so. Is your PCP connected to the bariatric team? Some bariatric teams require some weight loss but don't demand a specified monthly loss. Ask the bariatric team to recommend a PCP that is in your plan that is on board with the surgery if you can change to a new PCP - your records can be consolidated from one physician to another. If you can't change PCP, then make an interim appointment with her after you have read all ins specifics and can explain to her those details of what is required, also take literature from the surgeon about the surgery. Let her know that if she persists in a set amount of weight loss you will take it up with whatever medical group administrator monitors the practice (find out who that is) because she seems obviously against the approval for the surgery. I have had physicians that were jerks and have no clue how difficult obesity is. You have to be your own advocate and sometimes insist on your rights within your ins policy. The PCP is not your 'boss', but is a paid public servant by you. Keep us posted.

How very disappointing. Just hang in there and it will get rescheduled. You could ease back into food gradually, just do lo carb - proteins and low starch veggies, you could even just do shakes for part of it - like breakfast - add some blueberries and PB. Good luck.

Try Isopure ready made blue raspberry over ice - it's tart. 40gr protein.

Where are you located? State, etc? Can you get an insurance coordinator to assist w another facility? Do you have a primary care physician that can help you along w the wellness center? Send a list of what you are eating and drinking to this forum.

Oooo I wish you luck. Try the 1972 version of Atkins. Good luck.

Way to go!!! Keep up the good work.

@Sammie1221 You sound so angry to people 'honestly' calling you out after you called out the OP!!! <grin> #1 - I am pre-op and cannot in any way, shape, or form give advice to post-op on issues, only support. And neither can you - why you might ask - you have only been sleeved a short time and have no experience to give to the OP on what she is facing. You don't have months and months of the journey to give any perspective on being close to goal and then blowing it with old demons. #2 - Your diatribe will not help her. Honesty is okay but delivering it cruelly will shut her ears to any useful advice that you might have. Most obese people are already cruel enough to themselves, plus have suffered from undeserved cruelty from plenty of other people. #3 - I am quite sure the OP already knows what she has done and what triggered her lapse, she was looking for suggestions, encouragement to get back in line, and human kindness. #4 - On inspection of your post your anger could be because you are not being honest about your need for this surgery either. I do wish you (and all of us) the best possible outcomes, it's what we all want.

Cough is from the endo tube down your throat and anesthetic, walk and more walking....

Yay! You are on your way!!!

Get therapy as soon as you can. Call your bariatric team. What do YOU think is triggering this?

Woohoo! Good luck!