Sosewsue61

Attraction is a weird animal, it can be started by eye contact, a sly smile, the voice, the rear view, rogue haircut...etc The initial impression can then be reinforced or completely spoiled by behavior or personality or lack of education. (Also bad kisser) A person has to be well groomed, and in my experience a lot of obese people lack self esteem and as a consequence neglect themselves, not all, but a great many. No hairstyle, sloppy clothes, not smiling, not making eye contact, slouching, etc. (I also see normal weight people disheveled as well, but percentages are higher in the overweight category) In my past, I have only had a couple flirting/dating occasions with obese men (not morbid, just obese) but they had on suits or stylish clothes, polished shoes, smelled devine, smiled, could hold a conversation beyond the weather, and were polite. I would not have eliminated them based on being obese. My husband of 20 years is normal weight, is an amazing man - but did not have the looks that normally attract me - (dark hair, dark eyes, grinning, witty-chatter-tight-jean-wearing dude) - BUT he is super intelligent, blond (ish), responsible, respectful, loves to dance, loves music, reads, and the best kisser....and at times still surprising. And loves me entirely for me - that is key, as we all know you cannot fall in love with just part of a person - and you cannot change anyone.

Wahoo! You are rocking this!

Lol, oh if i had a nickel every time someone asked this question I could buy prime Super Bowl tickets!!! 'The Dreaded 3 Week Stall'...yep happens to nearly everyone. Your body just had major surgery, has inflammation and healing to do, and adjustments to low calorie consumption, etc. Be patient.

This speculation on regrets is not serving you well - first of all if anyone had regrets it would serve no purpose as you cannot undo the surgery, second everyone's experience will vary so widely that again speculation only serves curiousity. So - if you are undecided this questioning will not be helpful to you. Statistics are in your favor that it is a safe surgery with only rare complications, and success is based on each person learning to live a sleeved life, and finding new ways to avoid emotional eating. Your reassurance must come from inside you. We want to cheer you on and applaud your successes, let you vent some frustrations, give tips on food stages but you need to work out your hesitations.

This is the time to get therapy regarding your relationship with food. We have all dieted successfully but not kept the weight off on our own, the sleeve makes that more possible but it takes as much mental work as physical work. Right now take notice of how often emotional issues make you turn to food - whether it is anger, fear, disappointment, a tough decision, stress - whatever - you will need to find another way to cope with those issues. There are risks in any surgery, but skilled surgical teams have mastered this technique and complications are very rare and recovery generally tolerable, easier than gall bladder surgery for most. Ask anesthesiologist for a scopolamine patch for nausea - works great, and walk soon and often to get the gas/discomfort out and sip liquids as often as you can. Listen to your surgeon's directions. Good luck.

Are you drinking enough? In the beginning it was really hard to get enough and even mild dehydration can produce those symptoms.

Yay @336Mike you look great!!!

Yep, food expands sometimes when it's in your stomach. Occasionally you have to lie down for 15 minutes, or spit it out!!! I have had to spit stuff back up a few times so far. All learning how to manage the sleeved life.

Yep, food expands sometimes when it's in your stomach. Occasionally you have to lie down for 15 minutes, or spit it out!!! I have had to spit stuff back up a few times so far. All learning how to manage the sleeved life.

Stop!!! You retain fluid from surgery and inflammation while healing, just be patient on the weight loss - you will get a whoosh of pounds falling off in a few days. Constipation - take a stool softener, drink more, walk more, maybe a suppository. (Anesthetic affects the bowels, they go to sleep too.) Keep taking these on a regular basis. Most of us have struggled with this in the early stages and need some assistance to get regular.

Folic acid - I take 400mcg tablet along with what is in my multivitamin. Total is about what is in prenatal vitamins - that is how I noticed the hair growing a little faster - eons ago when preggars I always had great nails and my hair grew faster, so I added a reg folic acid to my multivitamin and my hair still grows pretty fast for an old lady.

Maintaining is the issue for us all - I needed the surgery for portion control and metabolism reset. Matt, therapy is the way to go. And get the dietician to help you meal plan - that is what she is getting paid to do. And Fluffy is right - you just need some guidance on shopping and badic prep. Or hire a personal shopper to go get your groceries if it's too hard to make decisions or shop by a list. There are pre-roasted chickens in every grocery store, just add steamer veg and it's done. You can get hard boiled eggs in the store and sliced cheese. You can do this. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

Shame will not help you resolve the issue. You have to recognize the feeling right before you pick the food -are you avoiding a decision, are you stressed, angry, tired? - this is one that is harder to admit on first examination. We tend to put ourselves last on the list and then wonder why we resort to stuffing the resentment and exhaustion down our throats hurting ourselves even more. Forgive yourself - you are human and always always a work in progress. Keep your fuel up in your body, so you will be less likely to just grab that comfort trigger. Take walking break, or 5 minutes with your eyes closed deep breathing, then get a protein and a good carb snack - just an ounce of something. Write down the issue and then write a real solution. Right now, I have been really angry at my adult son, and I cannot control his actions, so it is one of those frustratingly futile situations. All I can do is control me and do my best, and run my arss off on the treadmill, or go smash something, chop wood, etc. (Because I cannot make the outcome the way it should be.) I would rather go eat a box of girl scout cookies - but that wouldn't fix it and make me feel like poop, instead of make him feel like poop....lol

Yep. But just so ya agree, it still sucks if it's slower...lol...and you are one of those over achieving b@!#%*& that want it yesterday!!!😆

Firstly- congrats on your success. You might want to get a hot oil treatment or hair mask for the initial itching. And add some fat into your diet, just a couple tablespoons of coconut oil, a little extra olive oil, eat some avocado. To encourage new growth - take biotin, an extra folic acid, and I put peppermint oil in my leave-in conditioner and massage that into the scalp after every shower. Also keep your protein intake up. I am 4 months out and have some hair loss and it was thinning a little anyway, but I see lots of baby hairs coming in. Hair growth runs in 3 month cycles, resting or growing. Most people get it all back.

Hang in there Kate. You are brave for taking the steps to help yourself. Brava! Now forgive yourself, you need to love yourself and realize you are worthy of happiness and good health. I hope you find help at the group and with continued medical monitoring. I wish the best.

@BelgianGuy you are totally a fox! Of course, Jules....I must admit a bit of a crush...lol @JerseyJules...

Liquid protein diet made me horribly constipated right after surgery. Use suppositories and miralax, lots and lots of water, add some fiber supplement but gradually make sure to drink water. Once you can ingest some vegetables, it will be a little better. At 4 months I find a serving of cashews works for me - likely the fat.

@dreamangel1974 that is good news on the progress!!!

Some physicians believe it is dehydrating, a diuretic and best to wean off prior to surgery because caffeine withdrawal is no fun while recovering from surgery. I was allowed to bring limited amount back after 3 weeks.

If there have been past issues that took a lot of work, as you state, then this attitude pops up with the 'easy way out' statement - then you aren't done working on issues. I would go the counseling route ASAP. If you had to tiptoe around Valentine'sDay and his BD, you KNOW there are issues unresolved. He sounds controlling based on what little you revealed so far. But he could also be afraid of changes, this is your battle with weight and health and ONLY you can do it ultimately. It will involve changes, a lot of them and gaining self-esteem will be one end result, so is the focus on food as comfort, recreation, shared enjoyment. This doesn't mean you won't enjoy food, it just means that food isn't the 'end all be all' of life, it is just food and not your 'best friend'. Good luck, saying prayers for the best outcome, and keep us informed.

Normal to be nervous. Ignore the doubters. Relax and take a nap, stay hydrated. Ask anesthesiologist for a scopolamine patch to prevent nausea - works like a charm. You will be okay and saying prayers for you and the surgical team. Pack lip balm, biotene swabs for dry mouth, I wore comfy workout clothes as soon as I was able to get out of the gown, slipper socks, my own pillow - helps for car ride home, my own lap quilt - as a comfort thing, my headphones for my phone, charger, a comfy sleep bra for ride home to keep the 'girls' out of the way but w/o the hassle of a real bra. Tea bags for hot tea to sip. Good luck.

Chili blended, white bean n chicken chili, homemade cream soups with chicken ( - I still cannot tolerate chicken breast - have to use thighs.) Vegetable soup (no pasta/rice) blended with chicken. Split pea soup blended, etc.

You had surgery in November? So you should be on mainly regular food by now. Leftovers from dinner - protein and veg reheated. Hardboiled eggs, cheese, tuna salad, chicken sausage, some wings, broccoli chicken soup from home, chili, taco meat and refried beans, cottage cheese and half a tomato, etc.

Wahoo!!! Congrats!!