bv33

thank you for the good advice and for taking time to share your story. i want to pause but am afraid my surgeon would require me to start over and i am not even about to undergo all this testing and appointments over again. i never had a fixation on food at all. until i started this liquid diet, and then i started to miss the foods i had come to eat, spinach, chicken, carrots, etc. i am not saying i never indulged cravings, i would on occasion enjoy a slice of cheesecake, or a swiss mushroom burger, but i always cook my own food and i miss cooking healthy foods. i walk every day, have for around 5 years now, and i have kept off a 65 lb weight loss for 5 years now, but i have been stuck at this current weight and im not getting anywhere.

I have been on the liquid diet for exactly one week and i cant say i have really lost any weight. i lost 8lbs, in 3 days, possible? i dont know, because on that 4th day i was back up 3 lbs, and today i am back down 1 lb, so who knows. it is the same old story of my life. The liquid diet has been a struggle for me, and to the surprise of many, it isnt junk food I miss, it is my nightly spinach salad for dinner. I am still trying to wrap my mind around powdered shakes being better for me than spinach and veggies. If I could lose 30 lbs in a month I would reach my desired bmi for breast reduction surgery and wouldnt have sleeve surgery at all.

ready_forchange....thank you for your comments....i have been trying for about 10 years now to get approved for breast reduction surgery, like yourself, I lost a significant amount of weight, 73 lbs in total, and still my breasts never changed. i have heavy dense thick breasts, firm for a 50 year old woman, and suffer terrible back, and neck pain, yet the doctors will not approve me because all they look at is the bmi number and insurance companies argue it is a cosmetic procedure. unless and until my bmi reaches 34 will my insurance company even approve a referral and consult. now i could pay myself if i could afford that, I guess one could try to finance it and set it up on payments. but it buffles my mind that they will pay for wls surgery for someone who really would benefit from br surgery on its own. so for me, i made the decision to do the wls simply to lose this extra 33 lbs I need to reach to get to that bmi and every second of this process i have made it known to everyone why i was doing it, at no time did they ever suggest to send me to see the reconstructive surgeon to see if i could get approved without wls.

my surgeon only gives liquid tylenol 3. i wonder if thats because she lives to torture me. haha

Here is my understanding about vitamns. What my surgeons office informed me to do, buy a chewable one a day multi, and some type of calcium citrate, I already take a Vitamin d3 prescribed. What else? Is this wrong? Are there more I will need to take??

this is the same surgery i am getting ready to have, sleeve with hernia repair and i hate taking pain meds, seriously, norco makes me eat, i aint kidding, i get serious hunger pains/pangs from taking narcotic pain meds, which is why i never take them. but my surgeon prescribed liquid tylenol with codeine and said i will be on the pump in hospital. my family doctor has given me norco and i dread taking them, I will take them if the pain is too bad, but dread those hunger pains that accompany them.

I have been informed by my surgeon after my egd scope that I will need to have a hiatal hernia repair and she wants to go ahead and do it at the same time as the sleeve surgery. This probably has contributed to my worry and fear more than the sleeve itself. My sister works on that recovery floor and sees this everyday, she has told me that I will experience more pain and possibly longer recovery time than patients who have only sleeve surgery. My question is did anyone else have this surgery at the same time as the sleeve??? If so, please share your experiences, such as your healing time and if it made eating/swallowing harder? etc. Thanks for any helpful hints.

I want to thank each person who commented, with some good advice and sharing their own stories. Someone mentioned that I didnt talk about better health as a reason for the surgery....to me, my better health result from wls would come in the form of losing enough to qualify for br surgery, that would help my physical health, ie, backpain, and my mental health to finally be rid of these large breasts that hold me back from feeling normal. The 65 pounds I lost, I did NOT lose during the six month pre-op. This weight was lost over a time frame in late 2012 and 2013. I have kept that weight off and not gained any back since then, but havent really lost anymore. I suffered a broken foot in 2013, and it wasnt operable, due to the location of the break, I was told screws would just make the foot hurt more when walking or standing. however it was a bad break and sidelined me from walking/running for a year. I had to wear a boot for six months and every night for 9 hours I had to wear a bone growth stimulator to try to heal the bone. It was during that time that I was diagnosed with severe Vitamin d definency, and malabsorption disorder. As I was put on very high doses of vit. d and it was not helping me. I was told this contributed to my lack of weight loss and high bp, as my body wsnt absorbing nutrients and my medications as it should. Once my foot was healed in late 2013, I was allowed to slowly go back to walking. I did not fall bck into bad eating habits. However, I found that in the time I was sidelined from walking and running, I slowed down. And it has taken me longer to recover. I still walk every day, and I do eat healthy. I learned over time good eating habits and aside from the occasional indulgence, (not binge), I do adhere to a healthy diet. I gave up soda in 2012, havent had once since then. I do not have diabetes. I do have high bp and pcos and adrenal gland disorder which in itself contriubtes to slow weight loss. But anyway, I do thank everyone for taking time to comment and give me some good advice.

No, I am not here to be talked into or out of anything. I feel my doubts are probably somewhat typical and just wondering if anyone else felt this level of depression and anxiety before surgery and if that subsided once they had surgery. I have been reading alot of posts about depression and how it is affected by surgery. If I am overthinking. I will make the decision for myself, my choices arent going to be based on anyone elses. I dont fear death, but I do fear not living. I guess I am just questioning how I am living now, as opposed to how I will be living then. My mind is in battle against itself.

thank you for your comment. i thought i knew why i was doing this, and up until this week i was happy about it, despite some warnings and misgivings from others, i have a friend right now in kidney failure who was supposed to have revision surgery but the leak wasnt caught in time and he is now on dialysis. i know most wls stories are ones of success and happy outcomes. some arent. i just have been feeling depressed thinking others see me as a failure because i am overweight, and if i choose not to have surgery they are also going to see me as a failure, so either way i am feeling bad about which decision i make.

I am 8 days away from sleeve surgery. and my friend said to me i bet you are really excited....made me realize, that no, i am nothing but excited. i am arguing myself out of it. 1. i love my thick full naturally curly bouncy hair. i get compliments all the time on what great hair i have. i dont want to lose my hair. 2. i carry my weight only in my stomach and breasts, i have small wrists, ankles, legs and neck, i carry almost no excess weight in my butt. i am 49 and my skin is firm and i have almost zero wrinkles anywhere on my body. i do not want excess hanging skin!! do i really think that would be a better look in a bathing suit than some chubb? 3. i have already lost 65 lbs on my own and why cant i continue and lose another 33 lbs to reach my bmi needed to have breast reduction surgery, which is my WHOLE reason for wanting to lose weight?? 4. would i rather have full firm large breasts the rest of my life, or sagging wrinkled hanging breasts in the event my ins wouldnt pay for the reduction after wls????? and finally....why am i not a good enough person as i am? i am a good friend, i am a good partner to my mate, i am a good mom, i am funny, i love to walk and exercise, i dont binge or gorge myself. i feel more like a failure and more depressed since starting this pre op than i ever felt as an overweight woman.

food means nothing to me!! Before I started the liquid diet a week ago, pre-op prep, I ate the same way everyday. I had my whey shakes after working out, every single day, I walk. I ate salad, I ate lean meat, I ate fruits and veggies. I ate healthy, and when I walked, there was a smile on my face, I felt good, I knew I was doing something healthy and something I love. Since beginning this liquid diet, I feel like a complete failure. I never had strong food cravings the way I am now. and I am sure its mostly mental. I chose this because my doctors and my insurance co will not recommend me or pay for breast reduction surgery until i reach a certain weight. and i need the br surgery to alleviate back and neck pain. they will not consider helping me with this physical change to help my pain, however they will pay for me to have wls so that i can lose the weight, then hope and pray they will do the br surgery. i envision my body with the weight gone and i wonder if its worth it to have all this loose hanging skin and have to undergo even more surgery???? i am not that far from reaching 200 lbs and just takes longer doing it the old fashioned way. so i chose surgery. by default. 8 days to go.

I am so glad i found this page, i am in the exact same boat. but i am not feeling loss of food, i am feeling depressed that i am NOT GOOD ENOUGH LIKE I AM. why do i feel that way? why do i feel like just because i am not thin i am a bad person??? why do i feel the need to put my body thru pain, scars, and spend a fortune taking Vitamins the rest of my life when i have already lost 65 lbs on my own doing it the old fashioned way?? i gave up soda 5 years ago. i eat healthy foods, i walk every day, i feel like i am already losing nutrients from food, i miss spinach. i miss grapes. why am i putting mysefl thru all of this???? because my insurance wont pay for a breast reduction surgery until my bmi is under 34 and i need to lose 33 lbs to get to that point, and i havent lost any weight in over a year. i have maintained the loss i already had and i am a overall healthy person, no diabetes. i sit and think about those changes and do i really hate myself and my body so much that i want to have loose sagging skin hanging off of me instead of the full stomach and breasts i have now??? this whole thing is really taking a toll on my mind. i feel very less than human.

I have been on the liquid diet for exactly one week and i cant say i have really lost any weight. i lost 8lbs, in 3 days, possible? i dont know, because on that 4th day i was back up 3 lbs, and today i am back down 1 lb, so who knows. it is the same old story of my life, i thought by the date of my surgery which is 8 days away i would be down at least 5 lbs. i may be up 5 by then. they tell us this diet is to shrink the size of the liver and stomach to make surgery easier. i really feel it is a pyschological test to show us how differently we have to think and how we have to train our minds. for me personally, it is a stuggle. i ask myself how is it healthier for me to mix powder and drink it than it is for me to have spinach with carrots and an apple???