Sleeve1stFitNext

So the ex-bf is completely out of the picture. I could not handle the uncertainty of his behaviors. One day he likes the way I dressed, the next day I was begging for attention. Once he started with the insecurities, I had to let it go. Truthfully, it did not hurt me as much as I thought it would. And that is because I had falling in love with someone else. 

I fell in love with a woman. She is the most funny, beautiful and caring person I have ever met. She is strong, confident and dorky at the same time. She is everything I ever wanted in a person and she is ME!! I FELL IN LOVE with MYSELF again. I forgot the person I used to be and went searching for her and I found her. I never want to lose her again. If that meant giving up someone else for the sack of myself, then I would do what is necessary to keep me as a I am.

I guess sometimes you have to be selfish. I cannot sacrifice my success to make someone else fell secure in themselves. I cannot sacrifice my peace of mind to give some one a peace of mind. I just could not keep living my life through other peoples wants, hopes and desires. I want to live my life for me. I have wants, hopes and desires and I plan on making them happen. 

"Like a Phoenix, out of the Ashes comes NEW LIFE!"

There is a hill that is along my bike route to work. Everyday I ride, I take that hill. Today was the first time that I made it to the top without having to stop. I am getting stronger a bike rider. My calories for today are 672 but that does not include dinner. I will be buying Standard Gold Whey Protein Powder to add to my fruit smoothies. 1 scoop is like 26g of protein (Something that is much needed as I am trying to build muscle). I am having a hard time increasing my protein intake in the form of food lately. I just have not been hungry.

Things I am adding to my diet to see if I can take them:

1) Whey Protein

2) Dannon Oikos Triple Zero 

Also, I have started doing mediation to help alleviate some stress. I retain weight when I am stressed out. It also causes pain in my neck and back because that is where I hold all my tension. I also want to be flexible and by relaxing myself, I am able to stretch and bend a lot easier. 

I fit into a size 12 ya'll. A SIZE 12!!!! OMG!!! Yes. I only lost 2.2 lbs but I dropped 2 dress sizes. I have to get a 14 in pants because my butt is big and the 12 wont go past my booty. 

This week is buffalo chicken for lunch and breakfast is turkey bacon and eggs. That is small bag of ranch (1 tbsp). 

So I have come to the conclusion that I have a racer back gym shirt problem. I keep buying more shirts and they are soo cute and they make me feel cute. I am still kicking butt on my workouts and I have decided to end Keto for now. I have been stressing a lot about food and unfortunately, I hold on to weight that way. It is time to go back to just being mindful of what I eat and how much. 

Although I look great in clothing, I wanted to show what my body looks like outside of it. My stomach is sagging lower than before I lost weight. My arms are sagging and my breast have deflated. 

With that being said, I would not go back and change anything. I would not give up being able to jump, bike, go shopping easily and feel comfortable in clothes for anything. I would not trade this confidence or happiness. I am soo a peace with myself and my body. The aches that I feel are from soreness of pushing my body, than from being too heavy that my body cannot handle the weight. 

This journey has saved my life in more ways than I could ever imagine. I do not hide from the world anymore. I do not hide from people. I go out and want to explore. I meet new people. I have been freed from the burdens my weight had placed on me mentally and physically. 

With being said, "I LOVE MY IMPERFECTLY PERFECT BODY!!" 

So where my job is located, we have live music on Thursdays  - Sundays. There are all kinds of bands that perform here at the building we work in. 

I noticed that I now have a big booty. Lol. I do not know where the butt came from but in this video, I got caught showing it off lol 

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Since my hair will not stop falling out and I still have a lot on my head. I decided to stick with the up-do. 

I also added a picture of my ID at my highest weight versus today. I was sooo shocked by the difference. 

My gym day. I wanted to show my setup at the gym so you can see what I do. 

I have stopped losing weight but I am losing inches. 

9/12 - Went to the trainer to new a training regiment. The first was just cardio and light lifting to get me smaller and my body to be a lot more flexible. Now, is the real stuff. I have a HIIT workout 3 days out of the week. Heavy cardio of 30/30 for 45 minutes and a light elliptical day. 

Monday: HIIT

Tuesday: 30/30 Cardio

Wednesday: HIIT 

Thursday: Light Elliptical 

Friday: HIIT 

She says now its time to get to the real stuff. She knows that I want my body to look like and she created this to start me off. I have 4 weeks of it. She also added room to modify the work out if I am really hurting to do one less set. I am just so excited. This a work out that she does but her's is way more intense and done a faster pace. Will be increasing my calorie intake from 775 to 1000 calories on these HIIT days. I will need to make sure that I am eating enough to sustain my body. 

9/17 - My mom decided to buy me a Pandora Bracelet. Lol she was not prepare for the cost of it and told me, "Happy Birthmas" lol. She told me to add charms and numbers for every goal I achieved. She told me she was proud of me and was so happy for all my hard work.