Sleeve1stFitNext

I was cleaning out one of my tubs and I found a book that I used at the beginning of my journey  (2016) to track. On the first page, I found a note that I had left myself.

I remember being that girl. I remember being so lonely and unhappy. I am so proud that I was able to check off every one of the stars. It is now time to set new goals!!!

So yesterday, I did a dumb thing. I went to see the Dietitian and Therapist at my surgeons office and I was so anxious at the fact that I had not lost any more weight. I had forgot to eat since Thursday morning (It could have been that I subconsciously did it out of fear of being told I am not doing a job). I weighed in at 196 lbs and found out that I had lost 5 inches since my last visit which they were proud of. They gave me a much needed pep talk and I was ready to tackle on the world again. 

I went to the gym (still had not eaten) and began my workout. My second set in and apparently I fainted. I know my trainer woke me up and apparently, I was trying to climb on the pull-up bars yelling, “I have to do the pull-ups” . Then in the Ambulance I am telling them that they are trying to hold me back from exercising and this is why our relationship will never workout . They tried to give me Oxygen and apparently I got rude with them and said, “I’m not paying $400 for **** that I can do naturally and for free.” 

After some testing, I found out my blood pressure and sugar was very low and I was severely dehydrated as well. 

Well 6 hours, $100 copay (probably hundreds in ER bills cause they will charge you for napping) and an annoyed mother later, the moral of the story is to remember to eat. Just eat. Don’t worry about the scale and the mind games it plays. Just eat. Now I am not saying junk food or anything like that but eat the healthy stuff. Don’t be afraid to. 

I was so in my own head, that I forgot one of the most essential parts of living and that is fueling this body I have worked so hard for.

After a week of keeping my mind on the goal, I got down from 196.2lbs to 193.9lbs. I am soo happy. I have not words to describe it. It gave my a renewed hope that I can come down a bit more. I personally don't like being so close to the 200lbs because it is soo easy to get back up to that amount. 

This weekend, I spent time looking at my older workout videos and that the one that gets me is the pull up. My first time, I did 3 and 1/2. I struggled soo much to do that. Then the next week, I was doing 6 and I was not struggling as much. It just reminded how far I had come.

Sometimes we focus on the finish line soo much, we do not take time to look back and see how far we have come from the starting line. I have come to the conclusion that I may not get to my weight goal due to my love of weight lifting and strength training but I will take being able to do a pull up and one day hopefully as push up any time. 

With a new year, I need to take accountability for some of my actions which are preventing me from losing weight. I have started grazing again. I have been slacking on my meal prep and have been depending on outside food. I have not been keeping up with my water intake. I am not waiting 30 minutes before or after eating to drink water.

I have been eating way more fruits and processed package foods than I should. I am not eating my proteins first and then veggies.

Also, I have been downing halo top like crazy when I buy it. 

With that being said, I am going to get back on track. I am still exercising like crazy but you cannot out exercise bad eating habits. 

I am going to drink protein shakes as breakfast and dinner since I do not eat much during those times. I am going to use lunch as my main meal, with a high protein and veggie lunch. 

Omg I forgot lol 

Ya'll ya girl went rogue and cut all my hair off.