Hoping052017

So, I have major depression issues and it seems like I don't get "Happy" very often (maybe 3 or 4 times a month, if I'm lucky) so when I do feel happy I just want to scream it to the world and this is one of those days! Today was the first day in over a year that I was able to take a shower without being in tears from the pain the Water and loofa/washcloth causes. It actually took a minute after I got the courage to put my whole back under the water to realize that I could stop cringing because it wasn't actually hurting that bad! I wanted to scream and shout from the rooftops that I got to take a nice, long, run out of hot water long shower without crying. I did do a happy dance though, that's for sure! So, that is my happy share for the day. Hope everyone here has at least one happy moment worth celebrating today. I know I did! (And even if it doesn't happen again for a while, I am thoroughly grateful for it). And if anyone does have a happy moment worth celebrating today (aren't all happy moments worth celebrating? ), I'd love to hear about it!

I didn't know those really existed. I've only seen them in movies. I know they aren't around here. Maybe Tulsa or OKC has them. Neat idea though. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

That's a cat for you. Try living with 6 of them, 7 if you include my daughter (her nickname is Kat) lol! It seems even my daughter does that... only comes out when there's food involved. (She's almost 13) Lol. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

I agree with jlindeman. I would rather get a thanks, but no thanks than nothing at all. I don't even care if they don't give a reason. Not responding when someone puts themselves out there and takes a chance is just rude and insulting. I try to respond to each message, but then if i tell them no and they pull that "I'll change your mind" crap, then I'll ignore them. If they keep it up, then I'll block them. I also rarely give my phone number out. I'll chat through an app instead. Either through the dating site itself or through kik or viber or something like that. It's a lot safer then giving out your phone number to someone you don't know. But getting back to the original topic... I loved the idea of going to a shooting range. I would never have thought of something like that. It sounds like fun. I wish there was a zoo close to here (closest one is 2 hours away) because that would be fun too. But for a first date, at least around here, karaoke or coffee/tea are about the only safe meetings that I can think of. Crystal bridges (our museum), though, could be another option. It's not too far away. Unfortunately, not knowing the town or surrounding areas of the op or others, it's really hard to suggest specific non food dates. I think there's been a lot of great suggestions though, depending on the areas people live in. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

Well, my mom and I try to teach my boys that they treat their ladies with respect. They are to open all doors (even car doors) for a lady (any lady - and yes I realize some women don't appreciate things like that, but there are still some of us that do). If you ask a lady out, bring her a flower (even if she's allergic, if she's a lady,then she'll politely accept and then politely inform you that she's allergic to them [emoji4]). If you ask a lady out, it's your responsibility to pay for the date. Usually, I, personally, like it when the man chooses the venue of the date. I was raised very old fashioned, bordering on 1950's, old fashioned. In return, you get a lady that will respect you and bend over backwards to make you happy. (At least if she's a lady, you will) And as far as you either like me or you don't... well that's the same with women too. But if you do put out the effort and the person you've tried to court doesn't appreciate what you've done for her, then I'm sorry, but she isn't a lady and it's not your fault she's a jerk... it's hers. And if she does appreciate your effort and the chemistry isn't there... That's not Your fault either. You dust yourself off and try again. I understand most of this won't come through on an online dating app, but maybe there's someone you've been eyeing at the grocer that's not wearing a ring. Take the initiative and say something to her. Compliment her hair or her eyes. Let her know you've noticed her. Be bold. Who knows, maybe she's noticed you too and is waiting for you to make the first move. The dating apps will only get you so far. I've met a couple of nice people on them. As a matter of fact, I met my best friend on OK Cupid two years ago. If things had turned out a little different we'd probably be together right now, but I digress. We still talk all the time and he's the only person I know that I can talk to about anything. Heck, we were on the phone with each other for 3 hours yesterday. If there's an in person bariatric support group meeting in your area, start going to those. There's several singles that go to those and they are going through the same process you are. I'm actually hoping some day to find someone at my support group. I'm trying to remember the site name, but there's a site that allows you to join different types of groups in your area. For instance, if you like bicycling then you can find a group that gets together to go bicycling. If you like tabletop games, like Magic the Gathering or Yughio (I'm sure I spelled that wrong), there's groups that get together to play. Those are excellent opportunities to meet people that share your same interests. Dating in this day and technological age isn't easy. I know. Online dating isn't the only thing out there, though. It's cool to be able to see what's out there, but it's not the end all be all. Get out there and live! You've given yourself a new lease on life by having this surgery. Don't sit behind your phone or computer screen hoping to find Ms. Right. Get your groove on and live and in the process, you may just trip over her![emoji6] It may sound Hallmarky, but never give up on love. You'll connect when the time is right. Believe me, I've been looking for 4 years now and I've been where you are (still there actually) and I've wanted to give up several times (especially after Monday's blows to my ego) but the truth is I don't think I'll ever give up. I may take a few steps back from the online dating thing, but I'm never going to give up on finding my Sir. My One that I can be proud to say "Hey! Look what I caught and he's all mine!" I believe he's out there. Just as I believe yours is out there too. Just don't forget to live while your looking. Because if you forget to live just because you're so busy trying to find your other half, then what was the point of going through this surgery? What was the point of getting healthy? Take care of yourself. And never give up! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

Because not all women are into the whole women's lib stuff. Some of us were raised that a gentleman holds the door, pays for the date, gives a girl his jacket if she's cold, etc. Personally, I prefer a dominant male. I want my male to be able to take charge. For me, it's a very sexy quality. Mind you, I also think any relationship should be a partnership. Plan the dates together. If you both can't come to an agreement on what the first date, or subsequent dates, should be then you probably have no business being together. So communicate with each other. That's what a good relationship should be based on anyway, in my opinion. Without that communication each person is left floundering around trying to decifer what the other wants or needs. Believe it or not, most people are not mind readers. So, yes, I'm one of those women that want to be courted. I am a hopeless romantic that really would like to be swept off my feet by a man. But there's no way I would remotely expect that to be possible if the person I'm wanting to court me had no clue about my dietary restrictions. I actually have it in at least one of my profiles that I recently had weight loss surgery. I figure if I put that out there I have a chance of someone seeing me that's had it done themselves or know someone close to them thats had it done and can understand the restrictions and the activity level that is required or if they don't know what it entails, they can ask about it. But right now, since I'm only a month out, I'm just trying to avoid the whole meal thing just because I don't feel like messing with it. Set up a meet for coffee or tea. And pray they show up. But don't whine and gripe and complain about not being able to get a date without putting any effort into it. It's a two way street and if you message someone and they don't answer you, don't take it personally. My therapist told me to treat it like a game. Don't take someone not messaging you personally because that will just bring you down and make you depressed and make you feel rejected. People like that aren't worth a second glance. I've had to develop the "Well, it's their loss and they're missing out on all this awesome and that when the right someone comes around I pray that I'll recognize him. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

Sometimes I agree with you. For sure. I don't know why I stay on them. I'm hoping to meet someone at a support group meeting. At least he would understand what we go through. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

@sgc... I'm running into tons of headaches on the dating sites too. Most of the guys I've talked to are either con artists or just want a quick hookup. The ones that say they want a relationship, won't reply to messages or if they do they turn out to want money or sex. I actually got a date set up with one guy after talking to him for a couple of weeks and he ended up standing me up. So, I totally feel your pain. Some days I question whether or not it's even worth continuing the search on the sites. Just yesterday I talked to someone who wanted to meet he asked if weekends were okay. When I said yes, just not this weekend because my son is graduating he went off on me saying I was making things up just to come up with reasons not to meet him. It made me so mad I wanted to throw my phone across the room. It seems we're danged if we do and danged if we don't. Keep the faith. There's someone out there for us and when we least expect it they'll show up. I just pray I recognize him when it does happen and not let the experiences I've had hinder anything. Good luck in your search! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

So, I'm a complicated widow of almost 4 years. I've tried the online dating thing a few times. Once quite recently. Because of my size I hate my full body picture taken. So I don't have many. I actually found one on my phone the other day and sent it to a man I'd been speaking to (texting with) and within hours of receiving the picture, he mysteriously loses his phone we've been texting on and he starts texting from a phone with a number from another state! I had high hopes for this one,too. It took a lot of guts on my part to send him that picture to begin with. Now I'm questioning all the strength I built up to send it in the first place. It's like it's gone. If I can't trust someone to like or even love me for what's inside of me now, then how am I supposed to trust anyone to like or even love me when I'm a skinny Minnie? Had anyone had these feelings or gone through this? Do you know anyone who's had the surgery and then met their one and them not question why now and not then?

I'll try again eventually. I did eat the deli ham by itself. I may have eaten too much or too fast. My tummy felt so inflated and just overall miserable. Same with the fish (haven't had a problem with tilapia though. The only time I've actually eaten anything together with anything else it was the cottage cheese and yogurt. I can eat cottage cheese by itself - no problem. I can eat yogurt by itself - no problem. But when I tried them together - sick, sick, sick. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

I'll be 1 month post op on 5/18/2017! Unfortunately, I live in Arkansas, so I don't know of any in person groups in your area. Have you asked your doctor's office? I feel blessed to have the office that did my surgery. I've seen so many here, on bp, who's offices don't provide post op support it's crazy! My office actually has in person support group meetings every month, a mentorship program, and online support. It's hard for me to imagine any office not providing some kind of support system. I don't know what I'd do without the support system my doctor's office provides. Feel free to pm me anytime. I'm not a guy, but I could lend an ear if you want. Good luck in your journey! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

I'm about a month out and per my docs, I was cleared for soft foods at 2 weeks (actually 2.5 since we have to wait until our 2 week checkup and mine was 2.5 weeks out) they said I could eat anything that could be cut with a plastic fork. That included soft beef (lean hamburger, soft stew meat, soft pot roast) I've noticed, myself, I have a problem with pink fish (salmon & tuna), scrambled eggs, deli ham, and cottage cheese with yogurt (definitely not doing that again since it was the ONLY time I've thrown up, though I can tolerate each on their own). I've had my mom's pot roast 3 times now and haven't had any problems with it, but it was plastic fork tender. I think everyone's system is different. But if you can't cut it with a plastic fork, avoid it. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using BariatricPal mobile app

Well folks, I'm four days out of surgery. This is my 3rd day home. Things haven't been too bad. The gas was horrendous this go round though. This is the 9th laporoscopic surgery I have had in 19 years. The gas this time felt so much like the first time. It kept going into my left shoulder. At one point I thought I was having a heart attack it hurt so bad. However, with a lot of walking the halls and a lot of morphine, the pain subsided. The morphine didn't help the gas pain a whole lot, but did help the incision pain. I was actually doing really well up until about 4:30 this morning when one of my fur babies decided to use my tummy as a springboard. Jumped and landed square in the middle of my tummy that little fur ball did and leapt right back off. I ended up waking two of my kids I was in so much pain and haven't really been able to snap back out of it so far. All I really want to do is sleep. My mom did take me and 2 of my kids to get one of our adopted strays his vaccines and microchipped this morning though. I really have to remember not to take a pain pill and an anti nausea pill and my propranolol together though. I was so loopy you would have sworn I was drunk. Good thing mom was driving! I also figured out why my clinician head nurse said not to check my weight until my two week checkup on the 4th. When I checked into the hospital I was lower than I've been in in at least a decade. I weighed 259.2. I was literally doing a happy dance! Before I left the hospital the clinic's nurse said they stopped weighing people when they leave the hospital because 99% of the time your weight will be higher during the two weeks post op than it was going in. Boy! was she right! You know when someone tells you you should't do something but the curiosity to find out if they're right totally supersedes common sense? Yeah, that's what happened to me. See, she said not to weigh until the 2 week checkup if I had a scale at home. That the water retention, bloating, gas, and swelling from the surgery would make the weight go up significantly but that I'd lose it back off fairly quickly. So, like a deer in the middle of the road that can't move when she sees an oncoming car, I weighed myself yesterday morning. I was 269.5! I was about heartbroken. Today I weighed again and I was 264.3. So I think I'll be fine. I swear I'm a glutton for punishment. I'm really looking forward to my 2 week checkup, though. I want to see how well I've done on my 2 week liquid diet. Things are really weird for me. Commercials that made me drool and want things (like Olive Garden and Pappa John's pizza) I look at and think it looks disgusting. I really hope I don't end up anorexic. Nothing looks or sounds good. My clinic is so awesome though because for two weeks post of I get to have a 4in1 shake. It's Celebrate ENS+Iron 4 in 1 meal replacement with all my vitamins already in it, so I don't have to swallow the vitamins. After the 2 weeks though, I have to start taking the oral vitamins again. Along with biotin and thiamine and omeprazole, and calcium, and , and, and.... I have to set a timer to go off every 15 minutes to remind me to drink. The only reason I feel like drinking is my mouth is so danged dry. And I'm COLD! omg. Nobody warned me about the way the surgery would affect my temperature thingy! During the winter months (it sometimes will drop down into the single digits here) I usually keep the furnace thermostat set between 69 and 72. Mainly for the kids. The cold never bothered me. Until now! It got to 69 in the house today and I swear I'm freezing to death! So, for the first time since the beginning of spring, I have turned on the furnace. Anyway, I'm about ready for a walk and family game night and another nap. I'll keep you all updated as I progress. Heavens bless and protect you in your journey through this thing we call life!

I can totally relate! I used to be able to swallow a handful at a time. The Dr forgot to state liquid pain meds and now when I need to take my pain pill I practically choke every time. And it isn't even half of a horse tablet.

If you haven't changed anything, I would go back to your pcp or surgeon and have bloodwork/ yearly physical done to make sure something isn't all of the sudden out of whack. Remember to track your meals to make sure you're still eating right. Go back to the basics if everything comes out normal from doc. Good luck!!!

I had my bypass done on Tuesday. My advice is get up and walk as much as possible afterward. And if they don't give them to you automatically, ask for mouth moisteners because your mouth will probably be really dry. Other than that, do what Redmaxx said. Oh! And especially don't weigh yourself the day you go home from the hospital because your weight will likely be higher than you went in with due to all the fluids, swelling, and gas from the surgery. Congratulations and good luck!!! You've got this!

I didn't have AR Benefits health advantage, but I do have AR Medicaid. I was approved within a week of my clinic sending in the paperwork. I had the last of my 6 month supervised diet appointments on April 3 and just had the rny done this past Tuesday, April 18. Hope your approval goes as quickly!!!

Another option is unflavored protein powder. That you can mix in anything. I've put it in my sugar free koolaid, chicken broth, and beef broth and it's been great. Just be sure whatever you're mixing it into is room temperature and then chill or heat to desired temperature. My dietician even said I could mix it into sugar free jello if I wanted to. Just bring the mix down to room temperature before mixing in the powder and cold water. I can't wait to try that one!

My bariatric head nurse said that their program recommends not weighing every day because weight fluctuates on a daily basis. And definitely not the day you leave the hospital. The swelling and gas from the surgery almost always results in a higher weight than you had before going into surgery. It was discouraging a lot of people so they stopped weighing and said to wait until the 2 week checkup to check weight. Hope this helps. Good luck on your journey!

I can't believe it's the day before surgery! Six months has flown by. As of this morning (according to my scale) I am at 262. Today is clear liquid only and if I thought the past week of two protein shakes and one meal was hard and I was hungry all day...I woke up hungry and can't eat anything for the next two weeks or more depending on when my followup appointment is. Ugh. At least after tomorrow morning it shouldn't be too bad from what I've heard since my tummy will be so much smaller. I hope everyone's right. LOL! I'm just looking forward to more energy. That is the biggest thing because for the last week I have had zero energy. Anyway, short entry for now. Talk to you laters!

I can't believe it's the day before surgery! Six months has flown by. As of this morning (according to my scale) I am at 262. Today is clear liquid only and if I thought the past week of two protein shakes and one meal was hard and I was hungry all day...I woke up hungry and can't eat anything for the next two weeks or more depending on when my followup appointment is. Ugh. At least after tomorrow morning it shouldn't be too bad from what I've heard since my tummy will be so much smaller. I hope everyone's right. LOL! I'm just looking forward to more energy. That is the biggest thing because for the last week I have had zero energy. Anyway, short entry for now. Talk to you laters!

I can't believe it's the day before surgery! Six months has flown by. As of this morning (according to my scale) I am at 262. Today is clear liquid only and if I thought the past week of two protein shakes and one meal was hard and I was hungry all day...I woke up hungry and can't eat anything for the next two weeks or more depending on when my followup appointment is. Ugh. At least after tomorrow morning it shouldn't be too bad from what I've heard since my tummy will be so much smaller. I hope everyone's right. LOL! I'm just looking forward to more energy. That is the biggest thing because for the last week I have had zero energy. Anyway, short entry for now. Talk to you laters!

I wish I had seen this the other day on pizza night. I found one online that was really good and REALLY filling. It used eggs and low fat part skim mozzarella cheese. I added unflavored protein powder to the "crust". Then I made my own pizza sauce so there wasn't any sugar. The recipe said it was two servings. But omg. I could only eat one half of a serving. I put mushrooms and diced tomatoes on top with a little bit more cheese. It was so good. My daughter even enjoyed it and she's 12 and a picky eater.

Thank you. I figure I've only been on there a little over a week now, so hopefully someone will be real soon. [emoji1]

I hope I'm not getting too personal, but do you pay for the eHarmony and Match.com sites? I don't really have the money to pay for them, so I just use the free parts of them. [emoji53]