PatientEleventyBillion

So far surgery is a success.  I'm on liquids 'clear' and 'full' until day 17, then I start blending all my food...haha, yay? I've tried very small pieces of a few soft solid foods. It takes about 2 minutes for everything to register that it is being rejected.. Then I throw it up about 15 times, rather unpleasant. So suffice to say, it has been easy to stick to liquids like I'm supposed to   Thick cream soups kind of have the safe effect. Protein shakes however, are going down, slowly, but going down none the less. Down 12lbs since surgery 8 days ago. Even received compliments, the "your face looks skinnier" compliment. It's odd but I'll take it   

I watched this video yesterday and I am so happy it did, it sure made me smile. Its a good watch if you've got the time.

@Ms skinniness EEEKKK
i'm jumping up and down so high. soooo  happy to see you again. sounds like you are back on program!! seeing you again put a tear in my eyes!! please stick around - newbies et al can use sound advice from returning Vets like  you! - you have made me day! hugggs  kathy

Eureka!! My most delicious smoothie yet!
I finally took the time to slowly go around the grocery store (and I mean slowly) and look for new things I could incorporate into my protein smoothies to jazz things up. I tend to avoid sugar substitutes if possible, which has eliminated the option of juice squeeze things and most things labeled "sugar-free" anyways,including jello,popsicles,gum etc..  I found some promising new ingredients. I picked up some good finds (in my opinion). I got Matcha green tea powder with ginger, pumpkin pie spice (if your store doesn't have this premade its pretty much cinnamon,ginger,clove,nutmeg.super easy to make), imitation caramel extract, imitation coconut extract, and organic vanilla extract. 
So onto my smoothie, it contains the following (as I stare at it lovingly) :
-1  cup unsweetened cashew milk
-1 cup water/with a handful of ice
-1 scoop Vitaleph Vanilla protein mix
-A splash of caramel extract
-A dash of Vanilla extract
-Pumpkin Pie Spice
I blended it all together, poured it into a giant cup and am happily drinking so far the best protein smoothie I've had. Also looking forward to tomorrows chocolate protein,espresso, and coconut breakfast smoothie. Fingers crossed it does the trick

I'm grateful for two things that I was reminded of last night. The first one is that I have this 4 week pre op diet to prepare for whats next, because it caused me to stop and think about why I eat in the patterns I do, and to try and change it. For example, I was standing in the kitchen having coffee with my fiance last weekend and told him (it was about noon) that because I know we have cookies in one cupboard, normally I would have had cookies with my coffee, and then perhaps another coffee so I could have more cookies.. Not that I need them, but just because they are there and I know that. I said normally the cheezies in the other cupboard I would have had as a mid day snack simply because they are there and its a treat. In neither of those situations would I have been hungry and eating to satiate myself. I would consider myself a "convenient grazer", I wouldn't go into the kitchen to cook for one person, but if there was crackers and cheese I'd eat it, just 'cause. If there was chips, cookies, crackers, beef jerky etc, I'd eat them because I have an addiction (the realization of that is my second epiphany for the week, continuing on....). He is so very helpful. Even apologizes when we hosted fathers day dinner because I had so few options, and went as far as to offer to steam me some vegetables so I had more to eat. I politely declined, because I am getting better and better at saying no to food.
The minute I was given a surgery date and put on Atkins, I started eating like I had just had surgery. Small plates, small portions,the effort to cook vegetables for myself, staying out of the kitchen, drinking a lot of water. I've tried very hard to stay in the mindset that this is real, there is no turning back, and I will absolutely be successful for the rest of my life. Being forced to go on a diet pre op has opened my eyes to how much time I spent eating, and why, and a realistic understanding of how much I was eating. When its a day of grazing, plus one meal (that I got very bad at eating close to bed time) it no wonder to me how I got to be this big.  I got all of my ducks in a row when it came to organizing the procedure, now I just need to make sure I stay on track. In 3 days I go from Atkins to 3 Vitaleph shakes a day (plus leafy green and SF popsicles/SF jello.. blech for aspartame) and my supplements. Its becoming very real and my nervousness is melting away, while my excitement grows stronger. Goodbye self-doubting Raquel, hello confident beautiful dedicated Raquel.