serenity55

I had a hysterectomy almost six years ago, and I had to have blood work, and IV's and pain medication by injection when I was in the hospital because I had sleep apnea and my surgeon felt it would be dangerous to put the medicine in to the IV port. Every time I had to deal with needles I thought I'd never make it through, and I think it's because I had fluid drawn from my eyes when I was quite small. Maybe not, but whatever the case, I'm just scared. Anyway, it's good to know that maybe the fills will be all right. thank you, Tina. Debbie

Hi all, Thank you for your responses, and words of encouragement. Jack, I'm definitely in, and although I'm scared, I'm going to go forward. Tina, I'm scared of needles, so when you said you were scared of fills, I could relate, even though I haven't had any yet. But I'm still here, reading and learning. Unfortunately, I can't look at the pictures because I am blind, but I can read how much weight people have lost, which is just as helpful for me. This really is an awesome place. Debbie

Thank you Tami. I haven't seen very many people from this area and I am still researching. Congratulations and may you have continued good health. Debbie

I kind of have to wonder about the author of this thread. She posts something like this, then leaves, or is she lurking, reading? We don't know. But I would say to her that she might consider the possibility that, there are many people who simply aren't posting, but are leading wonderful productive lives, and maybe drop in from time to time. I'm still learning, and I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful place to educate myself. Debbie

Hi all, I'm just learning my way around, though I've been lurking for quite sometime, but I'd like to introduce myself, and hopefully, give anyone who wants to a chance to ask questions about blindness. There may be many of you who have never come in contact with blind people, and I hope you will feel free to ask any questions you'd like. Don't worry, nothing will offend me. So let me tell you a little about myself. I have been blind since birth. I am considered totally blind, though I do have light perception. I can also see shadows, though I couldn't tell you what shape the shadow takes. I am a switchboard operator by day, and a professional musician. I have performed quite a lot and have released an original CD, just to prove that I could. I have a roommate who is visually impaired, meaning she can see things generally, but needs magnification to see details. We shop, clean and cook for ourselves. I don't have a guide dog, though I have friends who do. I don't think I have the temperament for one. I am pretty independent; in fact, I've been to England twice, alone. So ask away, and who knows I may ask in return. I'm always doing that to my sighted friends! Debbie

Good question, Travelgirl. Yes, I turn lights on at night, because I can see them, and actually used to be afraid of the dark. I open curtains and blinds during the day, too! Debbie

Hi everyone, Thank you all for the warm responses. I feel like I have a family, even though I'm just starting out. Thank you, Suzanne, for describing the ticker factory thingie. Yours sounds really cute, I like the idea of the little car moving as your weight goes down. Much good luck to you. I work at Braille Institute in Los Angeles, and though I never went to a residential school, I did go to an elementary school for the blind. I knew people who went to a school in Berkley, which has been moved to Fremont, I think, in northern California. I think that teachers, and the board of directors, or whatever they were called, had some pretty sad views of the things blind and visually impaired people could and couldn't do. They kept the boys and girls apart, even as teenagers, because I think they didn't believe that the sexes shouldn't mingle. I'm not sure how good the mobility--use of canes--teachers were, because I knew a lot of people who could get pretty disoriented when left to their own devices. This may or may not be a result of the schools for the blind, but I am glad I went to a day school and then went on to be mainstreamed with sighted kids. Sometimes the families of totally blind kids send them to residential schools because they don't think they can cope with them, which is pretty sad. But I also know some people who are quite productive and went to residential schools. I'm sorry; my brain isn't working tonight, I'm forgetting names. Rain, thank you for your wishes. My brother-in-law did something similar when I lived with him and my sister for a while. My sister told me that he walked through the house in the dark to try to see what it was like for me. And, by the way, I do use the word "see" when I refer to myself, watching Tv, or a movie. Yes, I do go to movies. Please remind me if I'm forgetting anyone; I don't mean to. :-) Debbie

Hi all, Ready, Steady Go--thank you for your post. I too am a switchboard operator by day. I really want to get banded, but I want to be as well-informed as possible, yet still moving forward. And, by the way, it's never too late to pick up an instrument. Go for it You may not be giving yourself enough credit. Try again, if you feel up to it. ! Suzanne, I don't think you're strange at all. Most sighted people would make fun of you because they don't listen--present company accepted, of course! :-) JAWS says some weird things. Sometimes it says ticker factory, but when it reads your signature, it says a bunch of letters which I can't remember--something like WQXL. That's not exactly right, but something like that. Could someone explain what that is, the ticker factory, and what all the letters mean? Foofy, it's pretty cool to have a legally blind governor. From what I've heard of him, I'm sure he'll do us proud. You sighted folk are awesome! :-) Debbie

Hi all, I said I'd come back and write about myths and blindness. Here are just a few: Because we have no way of seeing pictures, we don't have any. Not true. I have a photo album filled with pictures of the trips I took to England, and my sister is putting together another one of me from the time I was a child. I also love tee shirts with pictures and sayings on them. Either we have super hearing, or we're hard of hearing, and people feel they have to raise their voices so we can hear them. Our hearing is probably no more acute than any sighted person's. We rely on it more, but I often tell people that if they close their eyes and just listen, they might be amazed at what they can hear. This may not be a myth, but one of my favorite things is going in to a restaurant, and the waiter or waitress says to my companion(s) "What will she have?" When I went to have my blood drawn a week ago, the lab technician spoke to my best friend, not me. I said that, as I was the one having the blood work done, she might want to talk to me. People often get flustered when I confront them like that, but I don't do it to be nasty. (Although, sometimes, like anyone else, i have bad days, and have responded sharply.) I'm quite capable of asking for help, and when it is unsolicited, it's more of a hindrance than anything. People get their feelings hurt even when I try to be nice about it, but I have to admit that sometimes if they persist, I have to tell them that they're not helping. If I'm walking in an area I'm not familiar with, very often it's hard to get people to stop to help me. And when I'm waiting to cross a street, and have missed the beginning of the cycle--meaning the light is in my favor--people want to help me cross. I love it when they say to me, "You can cross now," as they are coming toward me from the other side of the street. OK, so these aren't myths, but there's one more thing I'll mention, and then close for now. If a blind person is in the middle of the street, and a sighted person sees that he or she is heading in to the intersection, or heading toward an idling car, the worst thing that person can do is yell, "Stop!" When I hear that, I'm not sure why I'm stopping, and why would I want to in the middle of the street? Usually, I'm able to correct myself and get safely across the street, but when I hear someone yell "Stop!" I wonder if there's a truck barreling down on me, if a big hole has opened up in front of me, or what. Usually, in my case, it's just that I'm about to hit someone's car with my cane. I don't have a death wish, and there's no way I'll veer in to oncoming traffic. Simply saying calmly that something is wrong is much more helpful. Also, what is most helpful is for a sighted person to approach a blind person and ask if they need assistence. I've heard horror stories of some blind people being jerks, but hopefully, if the answer is no, the person will say so, and thank the person who has offered. Debbie

Kat817, what a wonderful but sad story. I'm sorry you lost Dave to diabetes. A lot of the people that come to the place I work are blind as a result of that disease. Thank you, Globally Yours, for the warm welcome. I'm still reading and learning, but I look forward to reading all your posts and following your journey. Where are you in the process? I will post some myths tomorrow. I was accompanying a musical theater class today, so my brain isn't functioning very well. (That's my excuse, anyway.) :-) Thank you all for being here I also want to try and add things to my signature the way a lot of people have. Even that's part of the journey, but I like it! Debbie.

Hi, travelgirl, I am sort of sighted in my dreams, meaning I see things the way I imagine them to be, which isn't necessarily the way they really are. But my other senses are definitely working. For instance, I often dream about being outside during the day, and I feel the sunshine, and actually see the sunlight. I wrote a little more about this earlier in this thread, in case this doesn't answer your questions. But if it doesn't, ask away! Sometime this weekend I'm going to try to post about myths people have about blind people, like our supposed heightened sense of hearing. Or the fact that we're either superhuman or totally helpless, both of which annoy me no end! Debbie

Foofy, I went to have the blood work done today, and the lab tech tried twice. He was pretty good, though, meaning he was friendly. I always tell them I'm scared of needles. I think it has to do with my having had Fluid drawn from my eyes when I was a few weeks old. (Or the surgeries I had when I was seven, or any excuse.) :-) Anyway, though I can't see the needle, it's the feel of the alcohol that alerts me to its coming. Thank you, and I'll definitely keep hanging in there! Debbie

Hello, One of the things I've always cherished about twelve step programs is the honesty I found there. I come from a large family, ten girls and three boys. My mom died of metastatic breast cancer when I was nine, and after that were my first memories of my father's drinking. As a blind child I was sheltered, according to one of my sisters, from lots of things, but his rage wasn't one of them. Or his live--in girlfriend. I live with a lot of physical and emotional neglect, broken windows, horrible living conditions which I won't go in to, unless someone really wants to know. My father was the only one in the family allowed to get angry. He used to introduce me to his alcoholic friends as "my blind daughter,," and one time I made the mistake of pointing out how obvious that was. He was taking most of the money given to me by the state as a disabled child, until one of my older sisters stepped in. When his girlfriend pointed out that I had a broken window in my room, his response was, "She's got money. Let her pay for it." When I first joined Al-Anon, I was very angry, and refused to see my father's alcoholism as a disease. I'm sure my sponsor wanted to strangle me at times, because I wanted to just tell him what a jerk he was. While I never forgave him for the way he treated me, I was able to accept the fact that I couldn't change him. When I moved in with my sister, I thought that all my trouble was over. Little did I know that the effects of my father's drinking would follow me, and they would be things I'd have to work on, be aware of, probably for the rest of my life. My family can't understand why I refused to see my dad when he was dying. I felt nothing for him. He never denied he was an alcoholic, and told my sister he didn't want to beg anyone to come to see him. But he also asked me years ago if I believed he loved me, and I said no. That was very empowering to me. I have lost four of my sisters to illness, and a brother who was shot to death. I think they all went to their graves bearing the scars of my father's alcoholism, but for the most part, they had contact with him before they died. Not my brother, though. He was a pretty troubled young man. Thank you for reading this, if you've gotten this far. Thank you, Green Chrysalis, for this thread. Debbie

Hello: My name is Debbie. I have been lurking for a few weeks, and I love everything I've read. I like to say that I'm blind, not to elicit sympathy, but I've found it's best for me to be open about that from the start. I have been overweight for most of my adult life, and at times, pretty depressed about it, not to mention how I think others see me. I'm terrified about having surgery; I had major surgery about six years ago, and have a terrible fear of needles. I've been known to walk out of labs because I couldn't stand the thought of the sting, which is more than that to me. I've known people who have had stomach stapling, I think, and they've gained the weight and then some. This was, in fairness, many years ago. A friend of mine is taking seminars now--she's having the ru-NY--is that right? Anyway, she's the only person, so far, who is supportive of my even considering the lab band. It's interesting that the people who tell me I don't need it, are, for the most part, thinner than I am. I have a couple of fat friends that say there's no way they'd have any kind of weight loss surgery. But I have high blood pressure, sleep apnea, my knees hurt when I go up or down stairs--and I live in a town house. I'm sure you all know the story. Sorry I've gone on so long. I haven't said any of the things I wanted to. I really love this site, and am looking forward to getting to know you all, and the other way around as well. Debbie .

I get asked about dreams quite a lot. In fact, I sometimes get to talk to actors interested in portraying blind people--I can't answer for those who are legally blind--and that's one of the questions people ask. Yes, I do dream, and yes, I see, but it's not in the way you'd expect. Because I've been blind since birth, I imagine things the way they are when I touch them. My piano, for instance. It is a baby grand, and I know its curves, how the lid feels (looks) open and closed, and what it's like inside. If you can imagine the shapes of things without color, that's sort of what it's like. As for colors, I can see them if they are bright. But I'm not always sure what they are. My sister had a color wheel, I think that's what it was called, that was on or near her Christmas tree. She told me what each color looked like as the wheel turned and I was able to remember them. So, I don't really know much about shades--royal blue, emerald green, but I do associate colors with different things. I usually think of blue when I'm outside and the sun is shining, and there are no clouds--clear blue sky, in other words. Rain I can hear, unless it's sprinkling, but you can also smell rain. And there's always weather reports, though I'm not sure how much I trust them! :-) As for clothes? I often recognize certain outfits by touch, and I usually remember what color they are. I also pretty much know what colors go together. If I've worn mismatched socks I can't remember, but that's not to say it hasn't happened. Oh, I live in a part of California where we don't get snow, but I have a friend in Pennsylvania, and I've asked him how he travels in snow. He says it's pretty interesting. It can mess up your ability to hear traffic sounds, especially if there's a lot of it. I'll have to ask him again exactly what he said. I work at an organization for the blind and we provide services for deaf-blind as well. Many read braille, and carry on pretty active lives. I know one woman who lost her hearing when she was a teenager, I think, and can still speak, but can't hear or see, and she volunteers in the press department. Hope this answers some of your questions. Debbie

Hi Foofy, Thank you for your post. To answer your question, I haven't yet been banded. I'm just starting my journey, trying to learn all I can. I talked in my introduction about how terrified I am of needles, which has been a big deterrent, but I'm tired of being fat, so I've decided to start the process. I have to have blood work done. I'm going tomorrow to have that done, and then I'll see my primary care doctor to get the ball rolling. I'm grateful to have a place like this to come to. Debbie

Hi, Ang1982, There's nothing for you to be sorry about. I use a screenreader which is called JAWS (Job access with speech) which speaks everything that appears on the screen. When there is a picture, though, it doesn't describe it--it just says "graphic, smile," for example. There is also a braille display, which blind people read with their fingers. I have one, but haven't hooked it up, yet. Thank you for asking, and remember, no questions are too stupid. You should hear some of the stuff I ask my sighted friends! Debbiequote=Ang1982;757621]I'm so sorry for asking this and feeling very stupid about doing so (although I'm probably not the only person to wonder), how do you use the internet and post on forum sites, and all that? Are there computer programs that read it to you? I am one of those people who have never been in contact with a blind person and I don't mean to seem ignorant in my question. And I agree with Wheetsin's post that it is very admirable for you to open yourself up to questions.

I really was sad when Melinda Dolittle was sent home last year. This year I've decided that if David Archileta doesn't get to at least be one of the top two, I'm done with American Idol. Simon said he was the one to beat, but they seem to change their minds about that all the time.

Hi everyone, Thank you all for the warm welcome. I knew I would love this site the minute I began lurking. Green Chrysalis, you're right; I have a screenreader called JAWS (Job Access with Speech) which reads everything to me using a synthetic voice, which actually sounds pretty good. I also have a braille display, because I've been reading braille since I was a child. Shortgirl (sorry if I spelled it wrong, I'm fat and my brain doesn't work, either!) :-) Thank you very much for what you said. I always think that it really does hurt when I have blood drawn, and I don't know if it's because I've always been afraid of needles--I had two eye surgeries when I was seven--but I'm going to try the things that have worked for you. I thought I could lose weight with diet and exercise, but the problem for me is that I loooove cookies! Those are the hardest things for me to stop eating, but with the band as a tool I have a good chance of getting past that. One more thing, which has nothing to do with anything: My primary care physician, whom I love, asked me if I'd consider bariatric surgery, and then stopped herself when she remembered how much I hate needles. But that tells me that she's willing to support me, and will do whatever she can to make sure I get the band. I work for an organization for the blind which has Pacificare as insurance, and I've had pretty good luck, so far. I have to have blood work done, tried last week and the lab tech couldn't get any, and so--you guessed it--I left without letting anyone else try. But I'm going back, and then I'll make an appointment with my doctor and get things started. Again, thank you all for being here. Debbie

Yes, don't I know it! And I've lived through needles before, so I know I can do it again. While it's true that all the things you mentioned could happen--thank goodness I'm not diabetic--the fear is just as real. So I'm taking it one day at a time, as I did before Thank you.. Grace, thank you for the welcome.

Yes, that's true. When I had surgery they put in the breathing tube and catheter after I was out, and I never knew, but I was scared of those, too. Debbie

Wheetsin, thank you for such a quick response. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who is terrified of needles. How did you do with the fills? I've been jealous of people I thought were on the road to weight loss, so that makes perfect sense to me that others should feel the same. I know I have to get to the place where, as car50 told me (thank you very much) I have to just do it, because the fear will never go away, and it feels good knowing I've got a place to come to for support. Again, thank you very much. Debbie