serenity55

I found out today that my doctor had submitted a request for gastric bypass, not the lap band. I don’t know whether to blame her or the woman who does the authorizations. I must have said lap band a million times when I was in the office, so I can’t believe my doctor didn’t know that was what I wanted. I spoke with someone representing my service provider and was told that Pacificare HMO will not pay for the lap band because it is “a foreign body.” This woman, who was very nice, suggested I talk to someone in the Human Resources department at work, which I did. I can’t change to a PPO until next year, because open enrollment is over, and even if I did, the deductible is not something I can deal with. The guy in HR did give me the name of a woman who might help me “maneuver” through the system. If this doesn’t work, I may have to look at self pay, something I’m not sure I can afford.

I did speak with someone from Pacificare today who explained to me exactly what you were saying. She’s going to check to see if the plan, or whatever it is that my employer has, covers lap band. She explained to me that Pacificare is the broker, and the physicians’ group actually pays for the procedure. I have a sinking feeling that it’s not covered in my work place. But this woman, who was very nice, also told me that the person at the IPA shouldn’t have told me what she did about lap band being a “foreign body.” I also called my doctor’s office and left a message asking why they submitted a request for gastric bypass instead of lap band. Thank you, Debi, for your support.

Girl, I need you to come deal with my insurance company! You go sista!

Several years ago, I went to audition for a gig. The people there were very nice, but when I got back to work and called the guy, he said, “Hey, big D!” That stuck, and now, though I do play for a few things, I know I could be doing more. And ditto the amusement parks, and travel. I have a friend in Colorado, and I was thinking about going to see her. She wrote to say that now isn’t a good time, and I’m actually relieved because I won’t have to worry about trying to fit in the seat. I also miss roller skating.

Thank you Flowers, aprilapple and HeatherO. I think I’m just going to let it go, or at least, as your friend said, aprilapple, stop, or in this case, just not have the conversation. I’m still a little angry but there’s really nothing I can do about it, and I just have to stay focused on what I want, and what I know is healthy for me. I really appreciate the support. Thanks again to you all.

I have mentioned to several friends that I’m getting the lap band, or at least, that I was looking in to it. Most of my friends have been very supportive, though a few have expressed concern about the procedure. The majority of these have been open to hearing what I’ve been learning, and while they still would prefer that I “just try to do it on my own” they are very loving. I do have one friend who is also a coworker, who said from the beginning that she thought this was “risky” and that she “didn’t want to lose me.” I told her I’d been doing research, and while she didn’t comment on that, she did tell me of all the things she’s done to try to lose weight. I don’t know her weight history, but I feel fairly certain that she hasn’t had to struggle the way I have. So I dropped the subject and continued doing research. Last Monday, this woman’s boyfriend came by my office to say hi, which he’s done before. My best friend was also there, making calls for me regarding insurance. After my best friend left, this guy asked if I was all right, and I told him about wanting the lap band. He said, “It’s risky, Debbie.” I said that I thought it was more risky keeping all the weight I had, and that I didn’t like it. Imagine my surprise when I went to a web site both my friend and I belong to, and she had started a thread called “Supporting a friend.” When I saw the title I had a sneaking suspicion it was about me, and I was right. She did not mention my name, and I guess she felt safe because I haven’t visited that site for quite a while. She told the members that she thought she’d talked me out of “it” but “a friend” told her that I was still going through with it. Quite a few of the people who responded knew someone who had had the surgery, and, though a couple of people knew someone who was doing fine, a lot of them said someone they’d known had died, from some complication. One person even said someone had died during or after having plastic surgery, I can’t quite remember. I think there was only one person who simply said they knew someone who’d had weight loss surgery and was doing fine. People seemed to think it was a “Quick fix” and that “if you just work at it” it would be better than having a surgeon “cut you open.” A lot of them just said, “Just tel her you love her,” or words to that effect. I got the impression that most of them were thinking of gastric bypass and not lap band surgery. I guess the reason I’ve gone on about this is, first of all, although I did not say this woman’s boyfriend couldn’t tell, I’m a little annoyed that he did. As I write this, I see that I really can’t be mad, well, I shouldn’t be, maybe is a better way to put it. And I’m bothered by my “friend” going to a site and posting this even if she didn’t give my name. My first reaction was the respond and tell them all that she was talking about me. Then I thought I should just call her and confront her, and now I think I’ll just not say anything until she brings it up and let her know that I saw the thread. I also want to let her boyfriend know what she’s done, though she may have told him. Sorry this is so long, and thank you if you were able to get through it. What do you think? Opinions, please!

Yep. And sometimes I can deal with stuff, but this just wasn't one of those days!

Today was full of stress, I guess you could say. I found out that a coworker and friend posted her “anger” at me for not telling her I was going through with the lap band surgery. She didn’t mention my name, but when I saw the title of her thread I knew what it was about. She called me today and is acting as though nothing was wrong. She probably feels safe because I haven’t visited the site to which we both belong for quite some time. My best friend is going to have surgery on her hand, probably late September. This will be the second one, and she’s not exactly an ideal patient. She won’t be able to do a lot of things for a few days, and of course, I’ll take care of her, but today I feel selfish, probably because right now regarding my own journey. A man who is a library patron, and has had other services from the organization for which I work, and with whom I’ve had a friendly relationship, until today, said somethings that really ticked me off. They were ethnic slurs against a fellow employee. It happened at the end of the day, and I wound up hanging up on the guy. My cousin got banded today in Memphis. She promised to call and let me know how she’s doing. I’m excited for her, and just a little envious. But that’s the best part of my day. I’m glad it’s over!

If there's another way to join that anyone knows of, please feel free. I don't want anyone to get the impression that this is an invitation only group!

Hi all! I have been trying unsuccessfully to start a social group for musicians, singers instrumental, and anyone who loves music. It might be interesting to talk about how we do, banded or unbanded in the music field. It doesn’t matter what type of music you play or sing, or if you just love music and enjoy talking about the kinds that interest you. Let me know if you’re interested and, as I saw another poster do, I’ll send you an invite, because that’s the only way I know how to get this group off the ground! (Thank you, aprilapple, for the idea.) Having said that, I hope I know how to send invites! Lol Debbie

Hi Laurenwhite82 and Tristessa! Glad you're interested, and I'm so jazzed! :-) I'll send you invites! Let's get this thing started! Trestessa, like you, I haven't done much performing because of my weight, but I am accompanying a musical theater class, and I do play for singers who are friends, as well. Anyway, I'll save it all for the group. Thanks again, ladies!

Today was full of stress, I guess you could say. I found out that a coworker and friend posted her “anger” at me for not telling her I was going through with the lap band surgery. She didn’t mention my name, but when I saw the title of her thread I knew what it was about. She called me today and is acting as though nothing was wrong. She probably feels safe because I haven’t visited the site to which we both belong for quite some time. My best friend is going to have surgery on her hand, probably late September. This will be the second one, and she’s not exactly an ideal patient. She won’t be able to do a lot of things for a few days, and of course, I’ll take care of her, but today I feel selfish, probably because right now regarding my own journey. A man who is a library patron, and has had other services from the organization for which I work, and with whom I’ve had a friendly relationship, until today, said somethings that really ticked me off. They were ethnic slurs against a fellow employee. It happened at the end of the day, and I wound up hanging up on the guy. My cousin got banded today in Memphis. She promised to call and let me know how she’s doing. I’m excited for her, and just a little envious. But that’s the best part of my day. I’m glad it’s over!

Great response, Tiffanie. thank you for the last words. I'll remember and use them Thank you very much!.

Thank you everyone. Cindy, like you, I want to believe that my friend is genuinely concerned, but there is part of me that has to wonder. If I lose weight, that will be one less thing for me to confide to her, and she’s the kind of person who 1. likes to be right about things, and 2. thinks of me as a kind of little sister and I need guidance. Daisybug, I think you’re right; most of the people on that site are uninformed and think that I’m referring to gastric bypass. Karryall, I have read about people saying the same thing you did about people watching to see if you’re doing well, and wondering just how sincere they are. I hope I don’t come across that, but it’s definitely a possibility . I’m not going to let their opinions, or anyone else’s, stop me from getting banded Unfortunately, the web site is one where you can’t get on as a guest, at least I don’t think you can. But I really appreciate the support I’m getting here. At first I thought it was funny that she posted this; then I got a little angry. Now, I think I’ll just wait to see if she brings it up, and I’ll tell her that I saw her thread. And I’m definitely going to talk to her boyfriend!

Hi, My name is Debbie. I'm 53 years old and am struggling with insurance. I am totally blind, and work as a switchboard operator for an organization for the blind in southern California. I am a pianist, and hav performed in New York, and have traveled to England. I have recorded a couple of CD's, one original. I'm struggling with insurance, and hoping to get things started so I can be banded.

Hi everybody! OK, here goes! Well, said she, stalling, I’d like to thank the academy--haha! Thank you all for answering. I smiled as I read your responses, and I think we’re all beautiful. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> Anyway, I’m African-American, though I usually refer to myself as black. I’m five-five, though I used to be taller--haha, and I weigh 331 pounds. I’m fifty-three, as you can see in the information thingie. I’m letting my hair grow, and according to my hairdresser it’s sable brown, which, again, according to him, is dark dark brown, almost black. My eyes are brown, but I have cataracts which cause them to have a whitish caste, I guess. A friend of a friend said once that I had “really unusual eyes.” She didn’t realize I was blind. My friend was mad, but I thought it was funny. I’m very open about my blindness, and independent and proud. Oh, my hair? I’m letting it grow, because I’ve always wanted it long. <o:p></o:p> Plain, you made me laugh when you said that in spite of your southern accent, you’re very smart. <o:p></o:p> My skin is, I am told flawless, and like a couple of you said, people are surprised when I tell them I’m fifty-three. I’ve also been told that my skin is the color of dark chocolate. I don’t feel like it, except when I am reminded that I can’t move as quickly as I’d like, because of this weight. I’m currently dealing with insurance, so everybody wish me luck! Oh, I’m also told I have a beautiful smile. <o:p></o:p> I’m a pianist, but, again, because of my weight, I haven’t tried really hard to get gigs lately, though I have done a couple of CD’s. Those are safer; no one sees anything but your picture and the artwork. <o:p></o:p> Anyway, thank you all for the warm feeling you’ve given me by your willingness to answer. I’ll try to put up a pic soon. <o:p></o:p>

Hi all, <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> I have often scrolled past the before and after pictures posts, because, as some of you may know I am blind, and, well, that particular thread, while I’m sure it’s great, can’t be described by my screenreader. Sooo … <o:p></o:p> I’m wondering how many of you would be willing to describe yourselves to me. I’m planning to post pictures of myself as soon as I can have a friend help me, or tell me how to do it. But I’m always curious about what people look like. I only try to guess if I hear the voice, and I’m not always right. <o:p></o:p> I can either describe myself now, or wait until I post my picture. Let me know which you’d prefer, and … describe yourself to me!

Hi Debi, Yes, Pacificare--well, the physicians' group did want to send me to Dr. LePort. But I don't drive, and I don't feel comfortable asking anyone to drive me that far, so I really hope that they will change their minds. It is good to know, though that the office is a good one. good luck to you, and let me know how you're doing. Debbie

:confused:What is the procedure? Do you have to have the authorization from your insurance company when you go to see the surgeon, or just a referral from your primary care physician? Do you start the six months’ nutrition and weight loss after your first consult? Does your insurance pay for the presurgery testing, or does that always come out of pocket? Help!!!

This is what I came up with today, while fighting the cookie monster at work. But I didn't have any. And I feel like I really get it--it's time to stop talking and doing. But I'm still a mass of contradictions, or so it seems. What if I get the band? What if I don’t? Sometimes I think that I will make it, but what if I won’t? What if, when I get the band, I become afraid? What if, when I get the band, I know I have it made Why does sugar call to me--a sweet siren song? Why can’t I resist when I know giving in is wrong?! I love the taste of sugar, which is sometimes not enough; Good choices? I can make them, but there’s always the bad stuff! What if I can’t eat the way all good bandsters should? What if I succeed, and people say, “Girl, you look good!” What if my port flips, the band slips, or sugar calls? Do I have just what it takes to do this thing at all? What if I stay focused on the tasks that are at hand? Get to a place where I can be considered for the band? I think that’s what I really want, in spite of all my fears; To get the band, increase my life by many, many years I am sad because food is not my friend. I must find a way for this love affair to end. It’s time for me to step up to the plate. Take the plunge before it is too late. Hard to let go, that’s all in my head. Fill the void with something else instead. Sometimes I think I know just what to do. “The answer’s there,” I say, “in front of you.” And still the taste of sweet things call to me; Although the harm they do is plain to see. I’m sad to think how much less I must eat, Not have cookies for comfort, but for treats. It seems so simple; yet I don’t know why I can’t always fight the urge, though I try! I may not find the answers that I seek. Day by day I’ll be strong, not always weak. I know the things that I must do to win. I also know that I never will be thin. By doing what I must to reach my goal, I, not food, will be in control. ?

Hi all, A million years ago, when there was a West Coast women’s festival in Yosemite, I had a friend who had had stomach stapling, I guess. I remember being envious of her, though I’m not nearly as big as I am now. I never heard any of the lesbian feminists I knew say anything about her except to express fear that something might happen to her, like the erosion of the staples, I guess. She has since gained most if not all of that weight back, and her partner at the time, who also had the same thing done, gained a lot of her weight back, too. When I told my friend’s ex that I was looking in to getting banded, she asked me to keep her posted. She sounded interested.

:unsure:Cheryl, that was pretty good, I think. Thank you. I'm not giving up; even when I feel like I want to, I find myselfpicturing a thinner me. So in spite of myself, maybe I am a fighter!

Hi Blynn, I went to my primary care doc and she wasn’t very encouraging. I guess it’s the provider, the physicians’ group that’s hanging me up. My doctor seems to feel that there’s no way this group will send me anywhere that’s not in network. The only surgeon who they would refer me to is in Fountain Valley. Even if I switched groups, they still might, according to my doctor, try to send me there. Pacificare has always been great for me, but this is really depressing me, and I don’t know if I want to fight with these people. My personal trainer has sent a note along with the letter I wrote explaining why I don’t want to go to Fountain Valley I think it’s great that your doctor wrote a referral for you to go to the surgeon. Is Pacificare paying for all your tests? Let me know what happens with the result of your cardiology appointment. I had an appointment with a cardiologist a couple of weeks ago, because I was diagnosed with a heart murmur when I was a kid, and I have something called pulmonary stenosis. They did an EKG, an echocardiogram, and the stress test. The doctor says it looks good, but he hadn’t sent anything to my primary care doctor, though he said he would. My doctor says that office is pretty slow about sending information. Anyway, I hope you have good luck. It sounds like you’re on your way. Please keep me posted on your progress. I’m rooting for ya!

Hi, I’ve tried twice to create a group for musicians and music lovers. The last time I did, I thought I had completed everything successfully, but my group never showed up in the social groups forum. What am I doing wrong?

Hi Katja, I'm going to try to do it again. I'm a pianist and play for musical theater groups, soloists and lots of other things, too. Thank you for your interest. I'll be sure to let you know. Debbie