Steph.K

I started at Lindenwood and was a theatre major there for three years then took a semester off, switched majors and started at WashU as a history major in Spring 06' and I've been there ever since!

Hey there! Student (planning on graduating in the Fall, YAY!) from Saint Louis here, looking into doing lap-band surgery in the not too terribly distant future and all about the research at the moment. As a sort of introduction to who I am and what brought me here, about two months ago I was diagnosed by my doctor as being in the early stages of pre-diabetes (numbers slightly higher than normal). Being so young (and consequently at my heaviest) needless to say it was quite a wakeup call, or, more accurately, a hard, swift slap in the face that leaves a throbbing red hand print that you think everyone can see. I've been heavy since middle school; trouble with my knees since late high school, back problems not too long after that, the usual self-esteem issues, I've never dated, but it wasn't until recently that things actually started to bother me. Most people can't imagine ever being comfortable being overweight and I never liked how heavy I was but I handled it pretty well... my back didn't hurt all THAT bad, so what if my knees were bad, I could deal with it, I had plenty of time to get myself into shape and start dating. Unfortunately, just before christmas my Mom was diagnosed as diabetic. I started thinking that I was about her same size, I'd been heavy for so long, was there a chance that I might have it too? When my tests came back pre-diabetic (even slightly), it terrified me and at the same time I felt worse about myself than I ever had before. Since Summer 2006 I've gained 50+ lbs on my already obese frame, none of my clothes fit, I feel disgusting, I don't even bother with makeup anymore because I kinda feel like "what's the point?" I also started realizing I was getting older; several of the people I was friends with in high school are married, one has kids already and I haven't even been on a date, not because of the way I look but because the way I look makes me shy and stand-offish. I realized that I'm sitting on the couch with a bowl of pasta and a bag of chips watching what should be the best time of my life pass me by not to mention sliding into a medical condition which could cause serious complications down the road. I'd always been one of those people who mistakenly looked at weight loss surgery as an easy way out or as an extreme last resort that most people will never need. When asked if I'd consider it my response was always the same, "NOPE! No way, not me! I can do it on my own, I can exercise when I want to, I can use some self control over what I put into my mouth. Never in a million years." Except I suddenly realized I can't control what I put into my mouth, exercise is best put off till next weekend, when school slows down or when that new gym down the street is finally open but never now because I have plenty of time, right? I finally realize I really can't do it on my own and NOW? Now I don't have plenty of time and it really is running out. This quite possibly has become the last resort that I swore I'd never need. I've been lurking around this forum for a few days now and finally decided to take the plunge and join. I have not decided for good and for all yet, I still have a couple months before I would even have time to do the surgery and recooperate (colleges are not forgiving task-masters), but you all seem like a great group of people and I have plenty of questions so I hope I see you around the "neighborhood."