gadgetlady

It sounds like the problem (among other things) is you had crappy therapists. Would you please take me up on my offer of sending some couples to a "Weekend to Remember"? I'll repost below so you can see it if you haven't already. It may not work a miracle but it's certainly worth a try! DH and I have some friends who have been married for 7 years. They have been in counseling since they first got married. Their first counselor told them they should get a divorce (!). After about 6 years, they separated. We never knew about how serious their problems were until then. It is a lot of the same things I'm hearing here: just roommates, no communication, no intimacy, etc. We brought them over to our house and counseled them ourselves for about 4 hours; they said it was the best counseling they'd ever had. (No, we are not degreed or formally trained to do it; we just have a good understanding of human nature and are blessed with an exceptional marriage). We got them to a GOOD counselor and they are now back together, their marriage is transformed, and they're trying to have children. All that is to say, there is hope for every marriage if the parties are willing to try to work on it. DH and I tried the same thing with another couple and they ended up divorced; they weren't willing to try anymore. But we firmly believe that with commitment and the willingness to work towards a common goal, every marriage can be outstanding.

Don't question your memory Abortion was legal in some states, one of them California, before the Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton in 1972, which decriminalized abortion throughout the entire 9 months of pregnancy in every state in the US.

Science has already proved it. There is no honest scientist in the WORLD who will pinpoint the beginning of human life at any place other than conception. The real argument is not about the presence of human life, but rather about the value of that life.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, L8BloomR. I picked this phrase out particularly because sometimes when we women find ourselves in the horrible situation of being pregnant when we don't want to, abortion seems like an "easy" way out. I'm not saying abortion is ever easy, but to a scared woman who is grasping at anything to get out of a difficult situation, it can seem like it has a finality to it. What most women forget, or never know, is that the first trimester of pregnancy is one of the most emotional and hormonal times of a woman's life -- and therefore crises are often magnified. I'm not saying some women don't find themselves in dire situations -- obviously they do -- but that the short-sighted vision of a woman in a crisis situation is not always 20/20. I think anyone who's had a pregnancy scare when they didn't want to be pregnant has thought about abortion -- whether it be a fleeting thought or a serious one. It is therefore never our place to judge, but rather to offer solutions and alternatives.

You are really confusing me. I do not believe the discussion of matters of faith should enter into the discussion of abortion. I do not decide whether people have souls. And my belief about whether a person has a soul will not affect the reality of whether a person has a soul. Either people have souls or they do not. If I believe they do and they do, I'm right. If I believe they do and they don't, I'm wrong. If I believe they don't and they do, I'm wrong. If I believe they don't and they don't, I'm wrong. WHAT I believe does not determine the truth. Just like WHAT I believe does not bestow humanity on an unborn baby. Either the unborn baby is a human being or he/she is not. My personal beliefs, and everyone else's personal beliefs, do not change reality and do not change the truth. There's nothing relative about the issue.

Because the scientific determination of when life begins has absolutely nothing to do with faith or with Christianity. I will again go back to the discussion of whether a black person is a complete human being or 3/5 of a human being, like much of America used to believe. The legal determination about the diminished humanity of black people was completely wrong and yet it was accepted by the society and allowed the legal subjugation of blacks. The point is, we don't get to decide for other people whether or not they are worthy of living. It's not our decision to make. You have a right to believe whatever you want to believe, but when your beliefs cause the death of another human being that's where we should draw the line.

You can't. The presence of a soul is a matter of faith. The discussion about abortion is not based on faith, but on science: the presence of a living human being with DNA and a physical body separate from the mother. I happen to believe that the unborn babies have souls, but that is my personal belief and cannot be proven. The physical reality of the presence of the human being that is the unborn child CAN be proven, and it is on that which I base my contention that abortion is the deliberate taking of a human life.

He ABSOLUTELY forgives. But that does not make the original action right. Just what IS a "fully developed baby"? Because it seems to me that human beings are NEVER "fully developed". At 12 weeks, the unborn baby is complete and only needs to grow and mature. With some body parts, that maturing takes another few months, few years, sometimes 15 or so years (reproductive organs), and sometimes a lifetime.

Well then I guess it's ok if he drugs the victim first so she doesn't know about the rape. Problem solved! Only because the baby's little developing body is hidden from view. One could reasonably argue that the same is true of a newborn or even a handicapped child (or adult), but it's not OK to kill them because of convenience. That's inconsequential to the discussion, although I do agree with you. But the presence of a soul is not what determines the value of a human being. God will also forgive the rapist, but that doesn't mean his actions are ever acceptable.

So if someone is raping someone in front of your house, you just close the shutters because God gave the rapist the freedom to make the decision for himself?

Thanks, L8BloomR There are some things in my life that "go by the wayside" because of decisions to homeschool, etc. -- one of which is currently exercise :eek: and a clean house. I figure there'll be a time in my life for a clean house, but it's just not now!

We can also learn to be disrespectful, angry, bigoted, unforgiving, and we can have our spirits awfully destroyed in our young years. We can learn to take drugs, have sex before we're even teenagers, use foul language, and commit crimes. Our public school system is a dismal failure by virtually ALL measures; the youth that we're raising are getting worse both socially and intellectually, not better. While there are plenty of good, honest teachers out there, our schools also have a large percentage of people who make it their goal to indoctrinate their students into the "right" way of thinking. Their philosophy might agree with yours. Then again, it might not. I'm not willing to take that chance with the precious lives I've been entrusted to guide. Absolutely. And the proper place for this scrutiny is not in the formative years. A child of 12 or 14 in a political science class can rarely "hold his own" with a degreed instructor. In a college setting, the beliefs can and will be tested. I remember in ELEMENTARY school having my beliefs about particular politicians influenced by my teachers. Fortunately, I brought those petri dishes home and ran them by my parents, who were able to better "fill me in" on reality. Not all students do this. It always saddens me when parents tell me they couldn't homeschool because they wouldn't want to be around their kids for that long. Don't you think the kids sense that attitude? If nothing else, our kids know we love them unconditionally and are willing to invest in their futures regardless of the cost and time commitment. As you know, growing up in a home with parents are sympathetic to terrorist would likely have the same impact regardless of the type of schooling. I would also counter that homeschoolers don't join gangs. And that's a type of terrorism in itself, isn't it? Sometimes it's the schools that teach the racism and bigotry, is it not? The other students that teach children to taunt and tease and hate? The peer pressure that encourages students to "go with the flow" and never think for themselves? All it takes is a teacher who's not looking and your child has just learned something that they can't unlearn. There are rating systems on radio, television, movies, etc., but there's never a rating system on the mouth of the kid on the swingset next to your child. Or the teacher with an agenda.

One word: CONTROL. I don't know the laws in every state, but I do know that in California no one has ever or will ever check to see if our kids are meeting educational standards. I can tell you they are exceeding them, as most homeschool kids are, but they do not have to take any tests to demonstrate competence. It would be a joke, really, as public school kids have been known to graduate from high school without basic literacy, but nevertheless, in CA there is no legal oversight for homeschoolers. If someone suspects we are not educating them properly they can report us, but that's where the HSLDA comes in and protects us. We are obligated, in order to receive their protection, to keep accurate records and to actually BE educating them, but of course that's not an issue for us. But here's the real deal as far as the State (with a capital "S") is concerned: we teach our kids what WE want them to learn. We teach them about creation vs. evolution, we have a Bible curriculum, and we teach them about things that might be considered "politically incorrect". There are also many things we choose NOT to teach them. Because the State has no access to our kids, they don't have the ability to indoctrinate or infuse them with beliefs contrary to our own. And that's the rub for the State. I also come from a family that values education highly. I went to a very small, very exclusive college prep high school, and I graduated with honors from a private 4-year college in 3 1/3 years. But, interestingly, the focus of the education of our children is highly concentrated on CHARACTER (something my education never focused on). Academics is important, but it goes hand in hand with helping our children become the TYPE of people we want them to become, and not just well-educated, money-focused sociopaths.

There are all sorts of possibilities to answer this issue. The short answer is yes to homeschooling networks and possibly yes to tutors. There are also whole curriculums that a parent can purchase that take the parent and student step-by-step through everything. There are online curriculums, video curriculums, distance learning, and all sorts of other tools if they're needed. Right now, my 10yo daughter is learning elementary French through a computer program, but I don't know French. Last year she learned elementary Spanish, which I do know, but she did it mostly herself. The program comes with built-in testing so I can check and see how she's learning even if I don't know the stuff myself. Here's a link to an organization we belong to, the Homeschool Legal Defense Association, which can answer some basic questions: http://www.youcanhomeschool.org/starthere/default.asp?bhcp=1. This is a Christian organizaiton but I'm sure there are similar organizations for other groups of people. You have to remember, until the early 1900's, pretty much everyone was homeschooled -- and we produced some pretty intelligent people! LOL! There are many, many peer groups that I prefer my children AVOID! There are also a lot of homeschooling support groups, clubs, church groups, etc. where they can make friends (as an aside, friends who generally have the same values as we and friends who generally participate in activities with their parents, just like we do, so entire families fellowship together). Here are some more answers to these questions: You can homeschool. - The Big Questions. In general, homeschool kids tend to be very well socialized with people of all ages because they don't interact with kids ONLY their age. I'm 41 and I have friends in their early 20's and in their early 60's. I personally don't think it's healthy for 8yo's to ONLY interact wtih 8yo's. There's a lot of stuff they miss out on by doing that, and there are a lot of ruts they can get into. There are also all sorts of other things my kids DON'T learn by being in institutionalized schools: racism, hatred, violence, bigotry, stereotyping, and just plain meanness. When we taught our kids about slavery in early America, our youngest couldn't figure out how the pigment in one's skin could influence whether or not that person was a slave. It was quite refreshing. When I taught our oldest about reproduction, I didn't have to worry about what misconceptions she had learned in the playground that I would need to correct. Our kids don't think twice about coming to us with questions about anything and everything, regardless of how embarassing those questions might be. Everywhere we go, people comment on our kids' behavior, kindness, and knowledge. It is such an incredible blessing to be able to do this, I can't even come close to explaining it. I hope I've done it some justice.

I don't believe it should be a remarriage issue, but rather a time limit issue. I know several people who are in long-term relationships but will never get re-married because it means the alimony would stop.

There are many, many reasons. We homeschool because of the quality of education, the choice of what goes into our children's young brains (e.g. there are movements to teach sex ed as early as kindergarten), protection from outside sources (adults and children), curriculum decisions, the desire for our children NOT to be "socialized" according to current social norms, and schedule flexibility. Generally speaking, because homeschooled children receive one-on-one focused attention, the quality of education for homeschooled kids is head and shoulders above even private schools. The children tend to be well adjusted and able to interact with human beings of all ages (as opposed to only kids their own age). While many criticize, colleges and employers are now starting to actively recruit homeschoolers because they have seen the difference. Homeschooling is becoming a world-wide movement, with many parents in other countries being jailed or having their children taken away because of their homeschooling actions.

Amazing. I learned at a homeschool convention last month that 70% of public school teachers don't send their kids to public schools. There's something wrong with this picture!

Very very sad. I have a friend who can't conceive and would love to adopt but can't afford it. Adoption is an expensive and scary thing, and it shouldn't be that way. Our church has been sponsoring an organization to buy girls (and women) out of prostitution in India. International Princess Project. It has so touched my heart I just weep for these poor girls. A few weeks ago we sponsored two girls and we were given two keys as a memento of our "purchase" (keys to their freedom). I gave the keys to my daughters and tried to explain what we had just bought. I ended up being so emotional about it that my husband had to finish telling them because I couldn't talk. So for me the issue is two-fold: how can we make adoption easier, and how can we help educate all of these cultures who hold females in such low esteem? I read a story recently about how they're having a major problem in China right now because there are so few women for the Chinese men to marry -- because so many girls were aborted or killed as infants because they just weren't valued (especially with China's one-child policy). The Chinese are just starting to figure out what a pickle they've gotten themselves into. Very, very sad.

I developed an allergy about 10 years ago to virtually all liquid makeups. So for the past 10 years, I was just going without. When I hit 40, I decided I should probably find some makeup that would work for me. I tried a bunch of high-end brands and had reactions to all of them except Bare Esceuntals (is that spelled right? I hate the way they spell it). So now I wear it about 2 or 3 times a week and I do like it. I would prefer a liquid foundation for ease of application and I really would prefer to be able to use eyeliner that's not a powder, but oh well! If this is what works for me, it'll have to do. I only use the eyeliner about once a month or so, so it's not that big a deal.

It's not, at least not yet.

I'm torn on this one. I agree there is nothing wrong with making money. I am in a "conservative Christian marriage", however, and while my husband is the "head of the household", I handle the money almost entirely. So from my perspective, I find it difficult to understand how she did NOT know what was going on. I just can't imagine it happening or for a woman to be that "out of it" when it comes to finances. That being said, from everything I've read about her, apparently she really did not know. I guess it's certainly possible. I was surprised to see this article on her on msnbc a few days ago: Through it all, Tammy Faye never wavered - Focus on Faith - MSNBC.com because it's not often that televangelists and Christians get a good word in the press.

You'd think someone named "gadgetlady" would be able to find it but . . . I'm looking for a product I've seen in catalogs before but now I can't find it. It's a round glider or slider that you put under heavy furniture so you can move it easily. It's about the size of the circle made when you put your thumbs together and your pointer fingers together. It appeared to be dark wood or dark plastic and has some kind of wheels within it. It's not something that needs to be attached to furniture, like a castor, but rather something you just put the furniture on top of. I've searched "castor" and "glider" online and can't find it. We're replacing our floor and I have an EXTREMELY heavy desk and would like to not have to find 4-5 guys to help me out next time I want to move it. Thanks for any help anyone can provide!

LOL! I was a conservative since age 7 when I learned what taxes were. I had a roommate in college who was a socialist -- for a week (you'd be hard-pressed to live with me and be a socialist. Now she's more conservative than I).

The discussion about the inception of our country is one for another discussion, I believe. My question for you is, what is wrong with a religious charity voluntarily providing for peoples' health care? I don't believe in universal health care, and I don't believe health care is guaranteed by the Constitution. So your post really makes no sense to me.

Back to the issue of marriage . . . This thread has really touched my heart. My husband and I would like to bless two married couples from LBT with a "Weekend to Remember" marriage enrichment conference. You can get more information about it at Overview - Marriage Conference - Weekend to Remember. We will cover the cost of the conference for the weekend. You will need to cover transportation and hotel (if any). These conferences are held all over the country so most people should be able to find something close to them. Hotel arrangements may not even need to be made if the conference you attend is nearby. Go to WTR Registration - Step 1 for locations. For some testimonials of changed marriages through this conference, go to Changed Lives - Marriage Conference - Weekend to Remember. If you'd like to submit your name and information for consideration, please email me at veryblessedlife@gmail.com. DO NOT PM ME! My PM box is almost completely full and I don't have the energy to clean it out. Please give me some details about yourself and your marriage in your email. We would like to make a decision on who to bless by August 1, so please get me your emails ASAP.